He shook his head slowly, his hand reaching out to touch her cheek, his fingertips rasping over her flesh with heated pleasure.
"I would never use you." His voice throbbed with the vow. "I have been alone so long, Megan. Alone within myself, knowing, feeling that nothing in this world was ever meant to be mine. Then suddenly something was mine. You were mine." The possessive tone had her blinking back at him in surprise. Both his hands framed her face, holding her still as his thumbs smoothed over her damp cheeks. "Mine. Everything inside me locked down in fear because suddenly I had something to lose. And so did you. And the thought of that was unbearable. I"ve lost too much already."
Her lips parted as her heart began to race, not in l.u.s.t or excitement or adventure, but in hope. She had found someone who matched her, a warrior and a shield. A man she could respect; one she could argue with and enjoy. She hadn"t wanted to lose that. Hadn"t wanted to be alone again.
"No"
"Yes." He snarled, emotion thickening his voice. "Do you not understand yet, Megan? This Mating is not just a physical phenomenon. It is not merely chemicals gone haywire. Look inside yourself. If you could love any type of man, lean on any other person, who would this person be?
Who is the lover that haunts your dreams? What fight boils in your blood? We would have been two parts of a whole, no matter who we were or where we met. You know this. Just as I know this."
She clenched her teeth, fighting the surging emotion of the realization he was right, but also recalling the denial she knew he had felt earlier. She had something to lose.
"See?" He latched onto the emotion she couldn"t hide, his fingers pressing against her scalp as his taut features became more primitive, more exotic for the emotions he was fighting to contain. "Feel it, Megan. Feel what I knew. My soul would die without yours to fill it. Without you to hold me close in the darkness of night; without your laughter to bring the light into the darkness that has filled every f.u.c.king day of my life for as long as I have drawn breath. For the first time in thirty-four years I am alive. I live because of you, and the thought of going back to the desolation of being alone scares me to death."
His emotions slammed into her, filling her, heating her.
"Feel me." He groaned, his voice rough, tormented. "I know your gifts, for mine are their companions. When we battle, I feel you reaching out, connecting to me as nothing else ever has, feeding me what you know even as you draw on my strength to brace yourself against the pain. You are the Empath, I am the shield. Two parts of the whole, Megan."
He released her then, stepping back to stare at her with such an excess of emotion that she could barely breathe, let alone speak. "This was what I tried to deny, to reject, even knowing that if I lost you, no matter how, my soul would be as dead as the Coyotes who search only for blood and for death."
He released her, only to pull out of his shirt pocket a small plastic pack that held several pills. His gaze probed her expression as she lifted her eyes questioningly.
"And that is?"
"This," he glanced to his palm then to her before his lips twisted with an edge of bitterness, "is a nifty little drug designed to ease the worst of the symptoms of the Mating Heat. The pain if you don"t get f.u.c.ked often enough, as well as the forced conception caused by the hormones secreted from my body, can become_ harmful. Unfortunately, mating a Breed isn"t always pleasant. Unless you want to get knocked up, you take the little contraceptive."
"A birth control pill?" How insane.
"After a fashion." He shrugged, inhaling deeply in a gesture that reinforced the excess of emotions that were filling them both. "Though the hormones in it are radically different than those once used on the drug market. These are more to block the hormone released from me, rather than those of your body."
"So why aren"t you taking it?" She glared at him furiously.
"Because, darling, I"m not the one who will suffer if you don"t conceive. You are. The Mating Heat builds until conception occurs. The hormone continues to grow within your body, overriding everything else but the need to have s.e.x and to procreate. This will ease the symptoms as well prevent ovulation. So make your choice."
"Will it make it go away?" She continued to stare at the innocuous little pill. Was it the cure she had so rashly demanded?
"Nothing will make it go away." He didn"t sound displeased. "Ever. But it will give us a chance to figure the rest out, Megan. We were well on the road to where this is going anyway."
She raised her gaze, staring back at him for long, silent moments.
"You would have rode off into the sunset the moment your job here was finished."
He gripped her hand and laid the small container in her palm. "No Megan, I would not have left you. For even a day. Now take the little pill, baby, and then we"ll talk more. Eventually."
He was going to take her to bed first. She knew it. Just as she knew her next breath would be filled with the scent of him, she knew that the moment that pill pa.s.sed her lips he would make his move.
"Braden." She licked her lips trying to still her nerves. "It"s been a very, very long time for me."
To be honest, she hadn"t attempted s.e.x in years.
"Take the f.u.c.king pill," he growled then. "I"ve tortured myself with the thought of touching you, of feeling you hot and tight around me. It"s all I"ve thought about since the moment I saw your courage in that d.a.m.ned cavern. I don"t know if I can wait much longer."
Evidently, she wasn"t the only one the Mating Heat was driving insane.
She snapped open the container, her breathing becoming harsh, rough.
"I still don"t like this,"" she informed him as she lifted the small blue pill. Though she knew different. She hated the situation, hated the confusion filling her, but she knew her feelings for Braden were something that went much deeper, flowed much stronger than anything even resembling "liking" him.
He growled in response.
"This is not the smartest thing I"ve ever done." She opened her lips as she lifted her hand closer to her mouth.
His eyes flared with sensual promise as she laid the small pill on her tongue, closed her mouth, and swallowed.
It went down easy, without the aid of liquid, no doubt helped along by the intense watering of her mouth.
The growl rumbled in his chest again. Feline. Dangerous. It was a sound that had her p.u.s.s.y clenching in spasmodic convulsions. She gasped at the intensity.
"How long does it take to help?" She watched him, knowing there was no fighting the hunger as he stepped closer. She retreated again. And again. Until her back came flush to the wall, his broad chest trapping her against it.
"h.e.l.l if I know," he muttered. "h.e.l.l if I care, as long as I can do this."
She expected a kiss. What she didn"t expect was the abrupt lowering of his head until his lips were at her neck, his teeth sc.r.a.ping over the flesh as his tongue stroked it in a sensual caress. She went to her tiptoes; the sensations were so intense, so filled with pleasure.
Shudders raced down her spine, spread between her thighs and seared her to the very core. She felt the syrupy dampness wetting her further, felt her c.l.i.t pulse and throb with the need for his touch as her nipples tightened beneath her blouse. G.o.d, how she needed his touch. Everywhere, all over. She craved it. Ached for it.
Her head fell back against the wall; her hands gripped his forearms as his fingers curved at her hips, arching her against him as he bent to press the hard wedge of his c.o.c.k against the soft pad of her p.u.s.s.y.
She jerked at the friction, a whimpering moan escaping her lips as her nerve endings seemed to sear with the flames of building pa.s.sion. She couldn"t get enough air. h.e.l.l, she didn"t need to breathe. If he would just kiss her, touch her, still the ache growing in every cell of her body, then she might have a chance of surviving.
"d.a.m.n, you taste good." His voice was filled with wonder as he caught the lobe of her ear between his lips for a brief nip. "Sweet and hot. You make me wonder if I"ll keep my sanity once I push inside you."
Her sanity wasn"t going to last that long.
Chapter Eleven.
"You"re so soft, Megan." The sound of his voice, the rough growl that whispered over her senses made her lose control. His hand moved from her hip to rest just beneath the swell of her breast. The subtle stroking of his fingers there had her breathing faster, her nerve endings sensitizing, reaching out for his heat. Sensations whipped through her body, tendrils of electricity flickered over her, holding her entranced as his fingers curled in the fabric of her shirt and began dragging it upward.
She stared up at him, fighting past her dazed senses and the need for his kiss as she felt cool air meet the bare flesh of her stomach. He was taking her shirt off, lifting it slowly as his tongue stroked her lips, the taste of cinnamon and brown sugar tempting her.
"Braden." She was shaking, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s so swollen, so sensitive that the thought of him touching them stole her breath. Never had arousal been so intense or pleasure so fiery.
"Yes, baby?" The hungry growl weakened her knees as she felt the shirt lift slowly over the material of her bra.
"Kiss me." Her hands still gripped his forearms, even as they rose, his hands lifting her arms before whisking the material of her shirt over her head.
"I will." He nipped at her lips. "I promise. But not yet. I want you to feel this first. I want you to know it. To know you need it, hunger for it, before I kiss you."
"You kissed me last night." She panted roughly as he caught her hands and lifted them, holding her wrists in one hand and stretching them above her head as the other flipped open the latch of her bra.
"Braden." She fought to breathe as she felt the material part, the lace sc.r.a.ping against her sensitive nipples. He stared down at her with narrowed eyes.
"One kiss." He growled, his head lowering. "That was just one kiss."
He smoothed the material from the swollen mounds, making certain to rasp it over the burning tips of her nipples as she cried out at the sensation. Wicked forks of fire shot from the heated tips to her womb, stealing her breath, her mind, as she trembled at the caress. Her eyes closed, her body jerking in sensory overload as she felt his breath whisper over the tips.
"So pretty," His voice was like dark, midnight-velvet, rough and sensual.
"The softest pink in the world. Innocent pink. Are you a virgin, Megan?"
She shook her head desperately.
"Thank G.o.d for that." His voice echoed with relief, with an erotic hunger that stole her breath. "Because I don"t know if I would have the control to take you as you deserved if you were that innocent. And G.o.d knows it would kill me to hurt you."
His tongue licked over her nipple with just a hint of roughness. It was enough to have her arching against him, her p.u.s.s.y convulsing as heated liquid flowed from it. She twisted in his grip, desperate to get closer, to feel the moist caress just one more time. When it came she nearly screamed. His lips covered the tender peak, drawing it into the furnace of his mouth as he began to suckle her. His tongue flickered over it like a wild flame as a hungry growl echoed around her. Heat raged around her, through her, ripped through her womb and exploded through her body as he sucked at her breast, nipped at her nipple, and tortured her with a pleasure she could not have imagined existed.
"Braden" Her hips arched against the wedge of his c.o.c.k as his knees bent and he thrust against her jeans covered mound.
She could feel him, thick, hard. Between layers of clothing he burned her, stole reason and pushed her closer to a mindless abyss of pleasure. His tongue flickered over her straining nipple as he bent to her, suckling at her with a slow, easy rhythm.
"I can smell you." His voice was almost reverent, his lips drawing her gaze, the swollen curves heavy, sensual.
"As sweet as a spring rain, as hot as fire. I want to taste you, Megan."
She swallowed, certain she wouldn"t survive the overload of pleasure. She stood still, staring back at him, trembling as he released the snap of her jeans and lowered the zipper slowly.
"Kick your shoes off."
Megan moved to toe the sneakers from her feet, forcing her legs to obey the simple commands as his head lowered, his lips caressing her collarbone, his teeth sc.r.a.ping it.
"Good girl," he crooned when the shoes were pushed aside.
Slowly he lowered her arms, releasing her wrists as he placed her hands against his lower stomach. He gripped the T-shirt he wore and jerked it over his head, staring back at her intently.
"Undo my jeans." He growled.
"Braden." Her hands trembled as the heat of his flesh soaked through her palms. "I can"t think." She shook her head weakly, fighting to make sense of the needs tearing through her, the l.u.s.t so unfamiliar, so much stronger than anything else she had ever known.
"Then don"t think, baby." His hands cupped her face before moving to her hair, pulling at the length of her braid. "You undo the pants, I"ll release the braid. Such soft, pretty hair. I want to feel it brushing over me, Megan, caressing me."
Her fingers gripped the snap of his jeans. G.o.d, she had never even done this before. It came loose easily, sliding from its mooring as his abdomen flexed with a convulsive shudder.
"The zipper now." The nylon band that held her hair came free.
The feel of his fingers unwinding the thick ropes of hair made her eyes close, her fingers moving to the zipper. Beneath it, his c.o.c.k throbbed, thick and warm; it waited beneath the material for freedom. Pulsed in eagerness.
She gripped the tab of the zipper, lowering it, easing it over the straining length of his erection. Her thighs clenched against the ravenous need, the hunger burning her alive.
"There you go." Her hair was free and so was his c.o.c.k. Thick, hard, the material of his jeans parted over the straining length as his hands moved to her jeans, pushing at the material and quickly moving it over her hips to her knees.
"Lift." He gripped her thigh, forcing her to lift her leg from the material before repeating it on the other.
All that protected her now were her panties. Wet, sodden silk that clung to her flesh as her knees weakened dangerously.
Gasping, her hands gripped Braden"s shoulders; as he bent and lifted her into his arms. She could feel the strength in his powerful arms, feel the need that held him in its grip as firmly as it held her.
His expression was tight, his eyes gleaming with hunger. But even more, she felt tenderness despite the obvious savage need ripping through him. She felt his determination to hold her, to gentle her, felt his fear of hurting her. The wash of emotions was intense, all consuming. The ability to feel what her lover felt during s.e.x was one of the reasons she had abstained for so long. The powerful mix of l.u.s.t, triumph and self satisfaction had turned the act into something to be avoided rather than experienced.
With Braden it was different. As his tongue twined with hers, she could feel the incredible control he was exerting over himself. Just as she could feel his needs. The images flickered through her mind, explicit, erotic. She moaned, her own hunger increasing as he laid her back on the bed. He bent and removed his boots quickly, then straightened to push his jeans over long, powerful thighs. His body appeared completely hairless. Even the heavy sac beneath the length of his erection looked smooth, impossibly s.e.xy.
As he stood before her, staring down at her, she could feel the blood pumping through her body, adrenaline and l.u.s.t flaming beneath her flesh.
"It hurts." Her womb flexed as the muscles tightened in her v.a.g.i.n.a. "It"s not supposed to hurt, Braden."
Fear mixed with desire as the implications of what was happening began to hit her. Uncontrolled hunger beat at her like the wings of a frightened bird as she felt her p.u.s.s.y spasming with a greedy l.u.s.t she couldn"t control.
"Not for much longer," he promised sensually as he lay on his side next to her. He leaned over her as he eased her into his embrace, one hand stroking her thigh. "I promise it won"t hurt much longer.
His lips slanted over hers as she felt his hand moving closer to the soaked material of the panties. Felt his fingers caress the damp material as he growled fiercely. She was flaming, burning. Her thighs parted for him as her hips lifted, pushing closer, needing more.
Suddenly the fierce control that held him back snapped. She felt it, gloried in it even as she feared it. The sound of the panties ripping from her body was accompanied by her own desperate moan as his fingers touched her, parted the swollen lips and slid through the thick cream that covered them.
Her hips bucked, a moan tearing from her throat as his finger circled the tender opening, caressing her, teasing her with his touch a second before he began to enter her. She felt the rasp of his calloused finger as she writhed in his grip. Her v.a.g.i.n.al muscles tightened around it, begging for more.
Within seconds there was more. Another finger joined the first, working in slowly, stretching her, preparing her for more. Her hands were buried in his hair as she drank in his kiss, his taste. The sweet taste of the destructive hormone blazed within her, sending her senses careening with a pleasure she could never have imagined possible.
Her thighs parted farther, her hips moving against his hand as her c.l.i.t grazed against his palm, sending fireworks blazing through her nerve endings. She was close. Oh G.o.d, she was so close.
"Not yet." The fierce growl came as he tore his lips from hers and slid his fingers from the tight, wet clasp of her body.
"Don"t don"t you dare stop." She reached for him, fighting against the powerful hand that once again gripped her wrists as he began to move from her.
"Stay still, Megan." His voice was a whiplash of demand and furious l.u.s.t.
"For G.o.d"s sake, don"t start fighting."
He pushed her legs apart as he held her still, moving between them before shockingly lowering his head to the slick, swollen folds of her s.e.x.
His tongue swiped through her tender flesh as a growl of pleasure tore from his throat and her hips drove upwards involuntarily. He released her wrists, only to grip her hips and hold her still as his tongue circled her c.l.i.t before moving lower to lap at the liquid heat flowing from her body.
So close. Her thighs tightened as the wicked tongue moved over her flesh, his destructive lips sucking her c.l.i.t between them. He flicked at it with his tongue before moving lower, lifting her, and then driving inside the greedy depths of her body and triggering an explosion that had her screaming in release. Her body tightened, arched further as her head fell back, her lips opening as cries tore from her throat.