He believed he did belong to her?
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"What makes you think I deserve you?"
she whispered then, her lips trembling with a sudden surge of impending panic.
"What could ever make you believe that you don"t?" He brushed her hair back, the gesture so tender, so gentle that her heart clenched in such emotion that it sent a shaft of agony radiating through her senses.
"Ah, Liza." His expression softened, though still, the arrogance and dominant male power was still there. "You deserve bet- ter than I could be. But I"m such a selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d. Completely and irrevocably unre- deemable where my need for you is con- cerned. I"d die without your heart to warm me now. I"d cease to exist if I thought I"d never have your love. I told you, no matter the fear, no matter the secrets you have, nothing can change what I feel for you. Noth- ing can ever touch my determination to pro- tect and hold you. You and your secrets, should you ever trust me with them. I"m 646/862.
yours, sweetheart. But I"m not the only one who belongs. You belong now as well. To me."
She belonged, and she could feel it, wheth- er she believed it was safe or not. Whether she believed, before him, she had even wanted it.
She belonged to him.
And she knew, somehow, someway, she knew- "You"ll destroy me."
CHAPTER 19.
By the time Monday rolled around, Liza was more than ready for a break from the spiral- ing emotions converging on her.
The only thing that saved her was the ever- present s.e.xual arousal that seemed to flame between them with just a look.
That didn"t help when she slept though.
When dreams invaded and further con- fused her.
Who was she?
As she dressed for work the question plagued her, just as it had plagued her since she had gone to the crash site five nights before.
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"Do you know, young children, the choice you have made this night?" Joseph Redwolf, grandfather to the mate of Braden Arness, Megan Fields Arness, whispered through her mind.
Holding the mascara brush carefully and applying her makeup, Liza fought to ignore the memory that wasn"t really a memory.
It really was like a dream.
Just as her memories of her childhood were-until the day after that wreck, Liza really had no clear, concise memories.
Finishing the mascara, she picked up the lip gloss she normally wore before her gaze landed on the tube of color Stygian had packed.
He"d collected most of her additional clothes and accessories, including the makeup in her bathroom the day before. For the most part, he"d chosen things she pre- ferred to use, with the exception of several tubes of colored lipstick.
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She"d bought them to use at Halloween with the Goth costume she"d intended to wear on Trick or Treat night. Instead, she, Claire, Chelsea and Isabelle had been called out by the Navajo warriors who fought for the Breed Underground.
The job hadn"t been dangerous. It had been more a training mission; they provided distraction while the warriors spirited a young Breed they had helped escape years before, from beneath the noses of the Genet- ics Council agents sent to find her.
The Breeds and humans targeted by the Genetics Council needing rescue or aid were much fewer now than they had been in past decades. Those the warriors had hidden over the years though, sometimes needed addi- tional help if the Bureau of Breed Affairs or the Genetics Council managed to track them down.
The young female they had moved in the fall had been such a Breed-one the Navajo 650/862.
warriors had hidden, along with her mother, when she was just a babe.
Where the girl had been taken, neither she, her friends nor the warriors who moved her would ever know. She was pa.s.sed to an- other team and, Liza knew, would be pa.s.sed several more times before she was relocated to ensure the secrecy of her final location.
Picking up the tube of lipstick and uncap- ping it, she stared at the berry-colored hue, like a fully ripe dark raspberry. Turning her gaze to the mirror, she applied the color, rubbed her lips together then stared back at herself.
The color made her eyes seem brighter, her complexion creamier. It brought a l.u.s.ter to the naturalizing effect of the makeup she wore and made her lips appear just a bit lusher, with a hint of sensual poutiness.
Taking a deep breath, she smoothed her hands over the snug fit of the apple green 651/862.
skirt and eyed it as well as the white silk sh.e.l.l she wore with it.
That was as good as it got, she told herself before turning and striding out of the bathroom.
Her briefcase sat next to the bed, her laptop securely zipped inside.
Grabbing it, she made a mental note to turn it over to her father when she arrived at the office. That flicker in the screen was about to drive her crazy. Not to mention what it was doing to her eyes. While she was there, she intended to get to the truth of her past as well.
Ray had all but fired her and Claire the last time she had seen him, but h.e.l.l, he"d fired them before. At least once a year he dis- agreed with something they said or did, then after a day or so, he"d get over it. He"d never really fired them. He loved Claire. Her father loved her. They wouldn"t take their liveli-hood from them.
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Walking from the bedroom, she met Stygi- an and Flint in the sitting room as they waited to escort her to the office.
"I"m going to be late," she told them as she walked toward the door.
"You always think you"re going to be late,"
Stygian growled, opening the door and es- corting her into the hall as Flint followed.
The edge of tension that had existed between them over the weekend hadn"t abated, just as the edge of panic attempting to overtake her hadn"t abated.
She fought off the panic with the same single-minded determination with which she fought back the emotions that threatened to overtake her. And there lay the crux of the problem.
Stygian wanted the emotion. He wanted every part of her, because as he stated, she had every part of him.
And that was what mates did. They gave each other every part of themselves.
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And Liza was terrified of it.
Because she had no idea who, or what, was every part of herself.
Flanked by the two Breeds as she left the hotel, Liza wondered what life would be like if the danger was ever over? Would it ever be possible to return to the life she had once had?
Did she want to?
Stepping into the back of the SUV while Flint took the driver"s seat and Stygian the front pa.s.senger, Liza sat back and closed her eyes.
She should have been on the sat-phone checking e-mail and messages. Her job didn"t begin when she clocked in. It often ran over well into the night as well as her weekends.
This weekend, Stygian had commanded her attention though.
Each time he touched her, each time he kissed her, she had burned for him. Even 654/862.
after the Breed doctor"s exam and the hor- monal treatment she had given Liza, the arousal had still been there.
It was just deniable at times with the help of the hormone, while without the hormone, denying it was impossible.
Thankfully, the office wasn"t far from the hotel. It was only a matter of minutes in light traffic before Flint pulled up to the front entrance of the Navajo Nation headquarters.
The Navajo Nation Chamber and headquar- ters held the main offices of all the branches of government as well as the presidential and vice president"s offices.
Gripping her briefcase, she allowed Stygi- an to help her from the SUV, the four-inch heels she wore making the height of the vehicle harder to navigate than her smaller car.
"President Martinez has several meetings throughout the building today," she told Sty- gian as they entered the reception area. "This 655/862 afternoon he has lunch in Window Rock and several meetings with casino owners regard- ing new legislation concerning the casinos.
Try not to scare anyone off."
"I"ll do my best," he murmured as they reached the security desk.
Placing her palm on the biometric scanner, she moved to push through the security bars that enforced security to the rest of the building.
The flash of red and the low, strident buzz of denial had her stopping in shock and star- ing down at the display. ACCESS DENIED.
She felt Stygian move in closer in response to the two security guards who closed ranks in front of her. Liza stared around the spa- cious entrance as she fought to make sense of the denial.
As she looked up, Ronnie Shiloby, the Navajo president"s chief of staff was moving rapidly from the elevators to the security desk.
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"Liza." His smile was tight, his gaze con- cerned as he stepped past the security guards and waved them away. "Didn"t you get your father"s message, dear? I know he called first thing this morning."
Only a few inches taller than Liza, Ron- nie"s expressive blue eyes were concerned, his expression tense as he tugged at the blue silk of his jacket.
"What message?" She felt dazed as she wondered what message could possibly have explained the electronic refusal to allow her past the security desk.
"Come with me." Indicating the front en- trance she"d just entered, Ronnie led the way, holding the door open as she and Stygi- an stepped outside once again.
"Over here." Indicating the deep curve of the building that then branched into a set of offices, Ronnie led the way to a small, shrub- enclosed patio off the cafeteria where several 657/862 umbrella-shaded tables and matching chairs were arranged.
"I want to see my father," Liza demanded as he stopped just inside the patio entrance.
"I want to know what"s going on."
"I don"t know what"s going on, dear," he breathed out roughly before raking his fin- gers through graying black hair.
Frown lines deepened in his forehead as he watched her intently. "I know he called and left a message for you, Claire, Chelsea and Isabelle. Since you and Claire were at the hotel, he asked the others to meet there as well." He checked his watch. "He should be there any minute."
Liza turned on her heel and strode quickly back to the SUV.
"Liza, you know there has to be a reason- able explanation," Ronnie stated as she strode away from him, his tone worried now as Stygian opened the door to the SUV for the second time that morning.
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Turning, she faced the chief of staff furi- ously. "No, Ronnie, there is no explanation for canceling my access before discussing it with me," she answered, her voice shaking as she let Stygian help her into the backseat be- fore swinging her head around to face Ron- nie once again. "I guess I can a.s.sume I"ve been fired?"
Her throat was tightening with tears and anger at the knowledge that everything she had worked for was being taken away with no explanation whatsoever.
Ronnie shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair once more as he stared back at her in abject apology. "I"m really sorry, Liza."
They knew each other well. This was Ray"s second term, and though Liza had only just moved into the position of personal a.s.sistant from her former job as the president"s sched- uler when his former a.s.sistant, Isabelle, had 659/862.
taken a position in the office of the chiefs of the Six Tribes, she knew Ronnie well.
Besides the fact that they had worked to- gether for over six years, they"d also known each other for years before that. Her father had worked with Ray for over twelve years, since his early retirement from the military where he and Ray and met.
Before Ray had become president, he had been a delegate for more than eight years. He had hired Audi Johnson right out of the mil- itary as head of security for the Navajo Na- tion Chambers, but Liza and her mother had already moved to the Nation when Liza was barely ten.
As the SUV pulled into the hotel parking lot once again, Liza dug into her purse, searching for her sat-phone.
She was on the verge of emptying the bag when she remembered leaving the device on her bedside table before showering.
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No calls had come through before she left the hotel, though, not quite an hour before.
If he had called, he had done so right before leaving for the hotel.
He could have called her before he can- celed her clearance. That would have been the fatherly thing to do, wouldn"t it?
The minute the SUV door opened and Sty- gian reached in for her, Liza was out of the vehicle and striding into the hotel. She didn"t stop at the registration desk to see if her father had arrived.
Flint had been on the phone with Jonas as he pulled into the hotel, and no doubt he would let her know soon.