Yes, hissed the voice. Yes, come, my son. Come, Therron. Come see for yourself that hatred cures love. And in the absence of love, there is no pain. No pain...no pain...
Kor"s eyes glowed hot and red and he followed the voice, followed where it led to leave the pain of losing Maggie behind forever.
"I can"t believe he"s gone," Maggie said dully. "I can"t believe I"m going home."
"You"re not just going, my dear-you"re there. Look-the Kindred Mother Ship." Salix pointed out the familiar shape of the vast white ship orbiting Earth"s moon.
They had just come through the fold in s.p.a.ce-a red gash that Maggie knew was a carefully controlled tear in the s.p.a.ce-time continuum which allowed the Kindred ships to travel anywhere in the known Universe in no time at all. She and Kor had traveled using worm holes that were known to be stable but that wasn"t necessary for the Kindred.
"Home," she whispered, and a single tear rolled down her cheek.
"Now, now-no crying in my ship," Salix said, frowning. "You should be happy. Just look at you, all decently dressed in a nice outfit that doesn"t show off your naughty bits."
"Yes..." Maggie looked down at herself. After all the bizarrely tight and s.e.xy outfits she"d been forced to wear the past six months, she was officially back to normal. The bounty hunter had thoughtfully synthesized her a pair of jeans and a baggy gray t-shirt along with a pair of tennis shoes and some white socks. A plain white bra and some granny panties were part of the deal, too.
Maggie couldn"t imagine anything less s.e.xy or provocative. Anything more blah and boring and normal. The outfit was the kind of thing she"d always worn but now it felt wrong, somehow, even though the clothes fit her perfectly. Jeans and t-shirts and tennis shoes belonged to the life she"d left behind-the life she used to have before she met Kor.
I"m not that person anymore, she thought, twisting her fingers in her lap. I"m different now...changed.
"And you"re about to see your loving family again," Salix continued cheerfully, unaware of her inner monologue. "Not to mention your fiance."
"My...my fiance," Maggie said and another tear rolled down her cheek.
"Well, maybe I shouldn"t mention him, then," Salix said doubtfully. "My apologies, lovely lady. Did you truly care for the big felon I found you with?"
"Care for him? Yes...yes, I cared." Maggie swiped at her eyes. "But I couldn"t just go off with him, could I? Not when Donald just got hurt and he needs me."
"That would be for you to determine," Salix said neutrally. He sighed. "For now, we"re almost there. I suggest you try to pull yourself together."
Maggie sniffed and sat up straighter. There was no point in being upset. No point in letting herself dwell in the past. No matter how exciting her time with Kor had been it was over now-he was gone and she was sure he wasn"t coming back.
Chapter Thirty-three.
"Margaret, could you pa.s.s me the bedpan? All these fluids they have me on are running right through me."
Maggie tried to repress her irritation at Donald"s whining, nasal tone. He was, as she knew from nursing him through hay fever and numerous colds, not the most pleasant person to be around when he was sick. Still, he was her fiance and she was going to stick with him no matter what-if he still wanted her after hearing what she had to say...if she ever had the nerve to say it.
It had been three weeks. Three long, grueling weeks since she"d returned to the Mother Ship and then back home to Earth. Her family had welcomed her with open arms and had taken her directly to see Donald who was still in Tampa General at the time. He had a long recovery ahead of him but he was getting better, slowly but surely.
The first two weeks hadn"t been so bad, Maggie thought. Donald had been in the hospital and knocked out on pain meds most of the time. But the third week they finally sent him home...back to his apartment which he kept immaculately neat and extremely organized. Or he had until he"d broken his leg. Now it was up to Maggie to see that everything went where it was supposed to be.
They had never gotten around to moving in together but she was staying with him for now and sleeping on the couch because Donald claimed she wiggled too much in bed and jostled his hurt leg.
Maggie told herself she was nursing him back to health... although really it felt more like she was waiting on him hand and foot.
"Here you go, Donald," she murmured, pa.s.sing the small plastic basin. "Do you need help?"
"No, I do not," he snapped irritably. "Just because I have an external fixation device bolted to my femur does not mean I cannot relieve myself without a.s.sistance."
"Sorry." Maggie sighed and turned her head away as he took care of business. "I didn"t mean to insult you. I just thought-"
"Here-take care of this." He was already pa.s.sing the half-full basin back to her. It sloshed as Maggie took it, making her want to gag. Still, she took it dutifully and went into the bathroom to empty it and wash it out.
It"s no more than I deserve after what I did, she thought as she washed her hands afterwards with the hottest water she could stand. After the way I cheated...and the way I still haven"t told.
At first she"d put off telling Donald because he was out of his mind on pain meds. Plus, she told herself that admitting her infidelity when he had just been hit by a bus would be cruel-kicking him when he was already down.
Now, however, she had to admit she was just keeping quiet out of pure cowardice. After all, she"d already lost Kor. What if she told Donald and he hated her? What if he ordered her out of his life and out of his apartment and said he never wanted to see her again? What would she have left if that happened?
Well, you"d have your self respect for one thing, pointed out the snarky little voice in her head. And a lot more free time you didn"t have to spend dumping bedpans.
"Margaret?" Donald called from the other room, setting her teeth on edge. "While you"re in there, would you please be certain the mouthwash bottle is back in its proper place at a forty-five degree angle to the toothpaste? I know you moved it last night. I"ve asked you again and again to put things back where you find them as long as you"re staying here."
Maggie took a deep breath. "Sorry, Donald," she muttered, turning the green Listerine bottle a fraction of an inch to the left. During her adventures in s.p.a.ce, she"d somehow forgotten what a perfectionist her fiance was. Really, his need to have everything in the exact location he wanted it bordered on OCD-it was driving her crazy.
"And another thing," he said as she returned to the bedroom with its blue pinstriped bedspread and matching curtains which also matched the pajamas he was wearing. "I noticed when we were eating supper last night that you de-alphabetized my canned goods. Creamed corn does not go before cream of celery soup as you very well know. Please fix it."
"You mean you noticed while you were eating the meal I fixed you? The meal that met your exact specifications down to the one-fourth teaspoon of salt and the napkin folded into a perfect isosceles triangle?" Maggie demanded, exasperated.
"Yes, exactly." Donald nodded without a trace of irony. It irritated Maggie to no end that he either didn"t get her sarcasm or chose to ignore it.
She thought with longing of the meals she and Kor had shared on the little s.p.a.ce ship he"d stolen from Lady Pope"nose. They had cooked together, using exotic alien ingredients in the tiny kitchen-laughing and stopping often to touch and kiss. Then, when the meal was done, they had sprawled on the couch and watched a vid or simply talked as they ate. It was lovely and so relaxed.
Maggie hadn"t realized how much she enjoyed that informality until she came back to her fiance and his precise rules for dining. All meals had to be made exactly to specification and served on a proper china plate at a perfectly set table. There must be only minimal conversation and no other outside distractions during mealtime because it interfered with digestion, according to Donald. Afterwards, dishes had to be done immediately-by hand-and put back in their proper order. It was a joyless routine, one she could never get exactly right-or not right enough to please Donald, anyway.
"What do you feel like for dinner tonight?" Maggie asked, trying to keep her voice even and the conversation light. "Maybe we could try something new."
Donald looked at her as though she was crazy. "It"s Tuesday. We"re having pasta primavera with exactly three meatb.a.l.l.s each."
"Oh, right." Maggie sighed. "I just thought maybe it would be fun to switch things around some. Maybe order a pizza?"
"Pizza is Friday night." Donald frowned. "You know that."
"Friday. Right. Sorry, how stupid of me."
"You"re not unintelligent, Margaret, just lacking in attention to detail," Donald said seriously. "Speaking of which, when you make the meatb.a.l.l.s please be sure each one is exactly an ounce and a quarter. Last time you made them they were all over the place-one and a half...one and three quarters...one was even two ounces! I measured it on the food scale."
Suddenly Maggie felt like her head was going to explode. She opened her mouth, not certain what was going to come out.
"Donald," she heard herself say. "I slept with someone else while I was gone. I...I cheated on you."
"What?" He stared at her blankly and Maggie clapped a hand over her mouth.
Oh my G.o.d, I can"t believe I just spit it out like that! What a horrible way to tell him! Why did I do it?
But for whatever reason, it was out now. Her dirty secret. The thing she"d been trying to hide. Maggie lifted her chin. Now it was time to face the consequences of what she had done, to be responsible for her actions. She would have to tell Donald everything and let the chips fall where they may.
"It"s true," she said quietly. "I"m sorry-I didn"t mean to tell you like that. I just...I couldn"t keep it inside anymore."
Donald frowned and a furrow appeared between his bushy eyebrows-Maggie knew that meant he was thinking deeply.
"So you had coitus with another man," he said at last, slowly. "Was it purely biological or were your emotions involved?"
Maggie knew she couldn"t lie anymore.
"My feelings were involved, I"m afraid," she said. "Very involved. I"m...I"m so sorry, Donald."
"No, no-let"s consider this." He frowned again. "I suppose since you"ve been unfaithful to me, this should be the end of our relationship."
Maggie gulped down a little sob. "I...I suppose so," she whispered.
"Well, then..." Donald took a deep breath, his skinny chest expanding, and then let it out slowly. "Well, then," he said again. "At the risk of sounding unkind I must say... what a relief."
"A what?" Maggie looked at him disbelievingly. "What did you say?"
"I said it"s a relief." Donald frowned. "Look, Margaret, I haven"t wanted to say this but this past week as we have been thrown into closer proximity than ever before, it occurred to me that you really..."
"Really what?" Maggie demanded.
"Oh, what"s the colloquialism? Ah, yes-you really get on my nerves."
"What?" Maggie stared at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. "I get on your nerves?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Donald said calmly. "Ever since you came back from your trip through s.p.a.ce, you"ve been distracted and moody-not your usual self at all. Worse, you"re simply unable to conform to our usual protocol-you interrupt my entire routine."
"Oh my G.o.d..." Maggie ran a hand through her hair. "Did it ever occur to you that I"ve been distracted and moody because of what I"ve been through? I was sold as a slave, Donald! Captured and implanted with an alien device and sold to the highest f.u.c.king bidder! I think I have a right to be a little "distracted and moody!" Don"t you?"
Donald frowned disapprovingly. "I really don"t care for either your tone or your language, Margaret. You never used to swear."
"I never used to be a s.e.x slave either, Donald. I"ve changed."
"Yes, I noticed that. Unfortunately not for the better."
"No, because I"m miserable now!" Maggie exploded. "Here I"ve been waiting on you hand and foot, feeling so guilty for what I did but you"re more upset that I de-alphabetized your creamed corn than the fact that I slept with another man! Who, I might add, was amazing."
Donald frowned. "You know s.e.xual intercourse has never been my priority, Margaret, so if you"re trying to injure my feelings by comparing me to some alpha-male Neanderthal-"
"Kor wasn"t just some Neanderthal!" Maggie clenched her hands into fists. "He was warm and funny and kind and protective and absolutely incredible in bed. He was everything you"re not."
Donald shrugged his boney shoulders.
"Well, Margaret, if you expect me to change to conform to your new ideals, I"m afraid you"re going to be disappointed. If, on the other hand, you wish to make an effort to return to normal yourself, I may consider taking you back as a romantic partner."
"Oh, you"ll consider taking me back? How big of you." Maggie began to pace. "No, Donald, I"m afraid I can"t go back to the way I was before. And you know what? I don"t want to."
"Well, then," he said calmly, "I suppose we should say goodbye and end the relationship."
He was so cool and collected about it, Maggie felt sick. Had their relationship really meant so little to him? All the time she"d spent agonizing about cheating on him, all the guilt she"d felt when she could have been enjoying Kor"s warm, gentle touch to the fullest-was it all wasted? Looking at Donald"s calm expression, she supposed so.
"So this is it," she said dully. "The end. After five years we"re just going to go our separate ways."
"Amicably, I hope," Donald said seriously. "I hope this won"t taint our professional relationship. You know I"m going to be doing some research myself aboard the Kindred Mother Ship, don"t you? If I see you there, I don"t want to cause a scene."
"You mean you don"t want me to cause a scene," Maggie said. "Don"t worry, I won"t." She ran a hand through her hair again. "I guess I"ll go."
She began to gather her things which basically consisted of getting her purse and one overnight bag where she had to keep everything because Donald didn"t want her personal possessions cluttering his s.p.a.ce.
"Don"t forget your toothbrush," he said helpfully. "I hope you didn"t place it in close proximity to mine. You know how I feel about germs."
"Yes, Donald. I know." Maggie went in the bathroom and grabbed the offending brush, somehow resisting the urge to drop Donald"s tooth brush in the toilet as she did so. She did rearrange the shampoo and conditioner bottles, though, which she knew he would hate. They were too high up for him to reach in his current condition. It was a small act but it made her feel marginally better.
She came out of the bathroom and walked toward the bedroom door.
"Wait," Donald said frowning as she put her hand on the k.n.o.b. "One more thing occurs to me."
"What?" Maggie turned back briefly. "If you"re worried about someone helping you until you"re fully recovered, call a home health nurse. I didn"t get two Ph.Ds to empty your d.a.m.n bedpan."
"I was thinking nothing of the sort. Actually, I have the name of a reputable home health company already-the hospital sent it home with me."
"Well then?" Maggie looked at him expectantly. "Hurry up, Donald. This may not bother you but it isn"t every day I end a five year relationship and I"m just a little bit upset. What is it?"
"About that," he said. "As our relationship is ending, it occurs to me that you should give back the engagement ring I purchased for you. It represented a sizable investment on my part and since said investment-i.e. our relationship-did not come to fruition, I would like to recoup my losses as much as possible."
Maggie looked down at the tiny diamond chip winking on her finger. She had kept it on through everything-her adventures at the spa, capture, implantation, slavery, her time with Kor-and the entire time it had been a symbol of her guilt. A weight tied to her, reminding her of how she was breaking her promise. A promise she had thought was sacred. But now she wondered.
"What did it really mean?" she asked softly. "What was it really worth?"
"Actually, I think I can get enough for it to purchase a new laptop," Donald said seriously. "Not a top of the line model but something serviceable I can take to conferences so I don"t have to worry about my current one being lost or damaged."
Maggie choked back a sob. "So that"s my price-my worth to you," she whispered. "The cost of a not-very-good backup laptop. That"s it."
Donald frowned. "Really, Margaret, I don"t think one can equate one"s personal worth with that of a computer."
"Oh, I think you just did." Maggie pulled off the ring and threw it at him. It bounced off his narrow chest and fell behind the bed where he would have a h.e.l.l of a time reaching it.
"Margaret!" he protested. "Was it really necessary to-"
"Goodbye Donald. Good luck with your new laptop-I"m sure it will bring you a lot more happiness than I ever did," Maggie said.
She slammed the door and left, not looking back.