Chapter Fourteen.
Well, we"ve gone through a wormhole and we"re in a completely different galaxy. n.o.body"s ever going to find me now-not like they had much chance before, even if they were looking for me, Emily thought. She was sitting on the small couch, staring morbidly at the strange glowing red and gold bubbles that filled the tiny fireplace in her room. Or rather, it was Tragar"s room, but he"d given it to her so she could be more comfortable.
"As if anyone could be comfortable in the state I"m in," Emily muttered to herself, looking down at her chest. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were still much too large and swollen and her nipples were so sensitive she couldn"t bear to let anything or anyone touch them. Well, anyone but Tragar, she amended to herself and felt a dull blush spreading over her cheeks.
Several times, during their journey to the mysterious planet where his old master lived, she"d been forced to go to him and admit her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were leaking the strange, sweet amber honey he called "nectar." Each time, he sat her matter-of-factly on his lap and pinched her nipples until the leaking stopped.
And every time, Emily was helpless to stop herself from having a quick, hard o.r.g.a.s.m from the experience.
"So embarra.s.sing," she muttered to herself, feeling her cheeks get even hotter as she remembered the intense pleasure he gave her just from squeezing her sensitive buds. Sometimes if the nectar wouldn"t stop flowing, he tugged her nipples gently or rolled them between his fingers, kneading and ma.s.saging them while she writhed helplessly in his lap. At such times, she couldn"t stop the pleasure from building inside her again, making her p.u.s.s.y feel wet and swollen as he touched her so intimately.
It was humiliating, especially since she knew he was only doing what he had to do in order to keep her body in check and stop her from going deeper into the second stage of Tenrah. What was it called again? Oh right-Scintil. She was in Scintil and Tragar was trying to keep her from going into Vlammen.
G.o.d, can"t believe I"m starting to remember all the terminology now! It"s like some weird, alien biology course except I"m the alien I"m studying.
It was all too strange and embarra.s.sing for Emily and to make matters worse, her emotions were all over the place. She kept comparing this change in her body to getting her period for the first time-although it was infinitely worse-but there was one thing the Tenrah appeared to have in common with her period-she was grouchy and angry and moody as h.e.l.l.
Emily knew some women who were barely affected by hormones during "that time of the month" but unfortunately, she wasn"t one of them. Back when she"d been having a normal cycle, she used to get sad and mad and depressed all at once. Thankfully, the intense moods usually only happened the day before her period finally hit. Once it started, she felt better despite the inevitable cramps. But now the intense emotions seemed to have settled onto her like a coat she couldn"t take off and there was no end in sight.
The worst thing was, even though she knew her emotions were due to the new hormones in her system, she couldn"t shrug off their effects. Back when she"d just been having her period, she could tell herself, "Sure, I feel bad now but it"s just hormonal. This will be over in a little while and I"ll feel like myself again." But now she couldn"t comfort herself like that anymore.
For one thing, though her emotions were heightened, all of her concerns for the future were absolutely valid. And for another, she couldn"t say she"d get "back to herself" because she didn"t know herself anymore. She was changing, d.a.m.n it! And not for the better.
"I just want this to all be over," she muttered to herself. "Just want to go home and live a normal life."
Not that anything would be normal now that she"d had the trouble with Grayson coming back into her world. But she was willing to bet he"d leave her strictly alone now that Tragar had crushed his hand.
Why did he do that, anyway? she wondered. He"s been so careful to tell me he doesn"t care-that he"s only taking care of me because his biology makes him do it. So why bother with punishing Grayson for what he did?
She didn"t know. Maybe it was because hurting a Khalla was akin to defacing a priceless work of art. Emily supposed an art lover might want to break the hand of a vandal who graffitied the Mona Lisa.
Yeah right-only you"re more like the Moaning Lisa, whispered the snarky little voice in her head. Begging and gasping and writhing all over his lap and he"s only touching you and helping you because he has to. Like he has to put up with you acting like a cat in heat while he does what has to be done.
Groaning in humiliation, Emily started to put her head in her hands. But she jumped and gasped with pain as her forearms brushed her too-sensitive nipples.
"Ouch-G.o.d d.a.m.n it!" she nearly shouted. "What the h.e.l.l is wrong with me? Why can"t I even touch myself without feeling like I"m being poked with needles and knives?"
"It"s simply part of this stage of your Shift," a deep voice answered behind her.
Emily jumped and gasped in pain as her arms brushed her nipples once more. G.o.d, she needed some kind of protective shield or something between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and the rest of the world! It didn"t help that they were so much bigger than she was used to that she kept touching them by accident.
"Are you all right?" The big Beast Kindred came around to stand in front of her, a worried expression in his golden eyes. "Are you having pain? Is your nectar flowing again?"
"No and it only hurts when I touch them," Emily said, looking at him resentfully. Despite the fact that he"d licked and pinched her nipples over and over again, she still felt incredibly self conscious sitting there in nothing but her thin nighty with her tight, pink buds poking out of it.
She wished she could hide herself from the big Kindred or at least feel nothing when he looked at her-the way she was sure he felt nothing. But she couldn"t help feeling drawn to him. And whenever he was near enough for her to smell his warm, spicy scent-as he was now-she got a hot tingling sensation between her legs and her p.u.s.s.y felt swollen and achy. It made her angry, both with herself and with him. Especially since she knew he was only helping her because his biology dictated he must.
"Did you just come to check on me or did you have something to say?" she demanded. She was well aware that she sounded petulant and sullen but she didn"t care. She was tired of feeling so out of control of her own body and the big Kindred was a convenient target.
He frowned.
"I came to give you this." He held out one large hand which had a small pink pill in it.
"What"s that? Is it to stop my, uh, nectar from flowing? And why didn"t you give it to me in the first place?" she asked, taking it from him.
"This will not stop your nectar from flowing-nothing can do that indefinitely." Tragar sounded stern. "Eventually it will have to flow from your b.r.e.a.s.t.s but not until you"re fully into the second stages of Scintil."
"What?" She stared at him blankly. "What are you-"
"The pill in your hand contains trace amounts of translation bacteria. As a Kindred you"ll have some natural linguistic ability but this will help reawaken the part of your brain that processes language."
"I always have been good with languages," Emily admitted. "I took French and Spanish and German and aced them all. I even had a professor who thought I"d make a good translator but I like kids too much-I really wanted to teach kindergarten."
"Good-then this pill should take effect almost immediately." He looked at her gravely. "I want you to be able to understand my old Master when he speaks to you and explains what is happening to your body."
"Oh my G.o.d." Emily shook her head. What"s happening to my body? Seriously? You sound like my mom when she gave me the talk about the birds and the bees!"
He frowned. "I fail to see what insects and avian creatures from Earth have to do with anything. Why would your mother speak to you about them?"
"Never mind." Emily waved a hand, dismissing her words. "It"s an Earth thing. So when do I get to meet your old teacher? Will he be able to help me reverse this whole weird Tenrah or at least stop it in its tracks?"
Tragar sighed and ran a hand over his face wearily.
"Emily, I have told you there is no stopping the process. Besides-would you really want to be stuck in the early stages of Scintil forever? With your b.r.e.a.s.t.s always full and tender, needing a release?"
"I..." She bit her lip. "I guess not. It"s really not very comfortable." In fact, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s felt almost painfully full but she didn"t want to admit that. He seemed to know anyway, however.
"Were we closer to Rageron and if I was truly your chosen mate, I would be ma.s.saging you constantly, trying to induce your nectar to flow and ease the pressure in your b.r.e.a.s.t.s," he said softly. "But that isn"t safe right now-not so far from the elders who can help you pick a true mate to see you through the rest of your Tenrah. All we can do for now is to try and hold the process back a little-but nothing can fully stop it. And nothing-nothing-that I have ever heard of can reverse it."
"It stopped before," she pointed out. "After Grayson...after he did what he did."
"What he did was blasphemy. He hurt you-it"s a miracle he didn"t kill you," Tragar said harshly. "And he only delayed your Tenrah."
"So I guess you wouldn"t even consider...helping me try to delay it again?" Another ten year reprieve would be better than nothing, she reasoned. But he was already shaking his head.
"No!" His eyes flashed. "A second wrong and early breeding would kill you. I have never heard of any Khalla surviving such a thing twice. I am sorry, Emily, but you must simply endure. Once the Shift begins, it must carry through to the end."
Emily wanted to ask exactly what would happen at the end but she was afraid to. Afraid to find out that the other would come back and take over and that the girl she knew herself to be would cease to exist completely.
"Fine-I"ll take the pill," she said at last.
"Good. We"re in orbit now and I"m ready to fire up the shuttle to take us down to the planet"s surface." He nodded at her. "Come and meet me there as soon as you"re ready. We don"t have a moment to lose."
"I just need a minute to get ready and I"ll be there."
He nodded once, then turned and left.
Emily watched his broad back disappear resentfully. She knew what was happening to her body wasn"t his fault but she couldn"t help feeling angry with the big Kindred anyway. Her emotions surged again, making her want to lash out. Somehow she controlled the urge to run after him and give him a piece of her mind but that didn"t mean she was ready to accept everything he said.
Surely he had to be wrong. There had to be some way to stop this-some way to reverse all the bizarre changes going on with her body! Something she could do to halt the process before it was too late and she was changed forever.
No matter what the big Kindred said, she was determined to at least ask-to try and find out. If he wouldn"t help her, she would help herself, d.a.m.n it!
"What do you mean I have to stay here?" Emily was glaring at him and it was all Tragar could do to keep from shifting uncomfortably in his seat. But he had to be firm with her.
"It"s for your own safety," he explained. "I need to speak to my old master first and then get the things he promised to help you."
"So? Why can"t I just go with you into his house and wait in another room while you talk to him?"
Tragar repressed a growl of frustration. Being cooped up in the small shuttle with her again had intensified her scent and it was difficult not to let it affect him.
"Xen"dex lives on the edge of a densely populated trade area," he explained, trying to keep his voice even. "If I brought you out into the open, your hot scent would spread far and wide, drawing any males in the area to you."
"Again with the scent thing," she muttered. "I took a shower before we left, you know."
"Yes, I know." He could tell when she"d entered the shuttle by the way her damp hair was slicked back from her forehead and the thin night garment was clinging transparently to her full curves. "Please understand, Emily," he grated, "I"m not saying you smell bad-rather that you smell too good-too hot-to be out right now."
"Too hot. Right." She didn"t sound like she believed him. "So what-I"ll just wait here in the car like a good little girl while you go get me a blanket to cover up with?"
"Essentially, yes. My master should have a scent damping cape you can wear. It will also cover you," he added, his gaze flicking down to her naked pink peaks, still thrusting from the ragged holes in her night garment.
She saw where his eyes were and blushed. But she still lifted her chin defiantly and didn"t try to cover herself.
"Fine, I"ll stay in the car. But will you at least crack a window so I don"t die of the greenhouse effect?"
Tragar fought to keep from grinding his teeth.
"You don"t seem to understand how sharp the senses of the Wulven Kindred males can be." Or how extremely dangerous they are, he almost added, but he didn"t want to scare her. "I will leave the air circulating so you will not suffocate or die of heat exhaustion but you must not open the window. Give me a few minutes to get what I need and I"ll return shortly."
"All right, fine." She turned her head and looked out of the window. "But I hope after this is all over I"ll get a chance to see at least some of the town. I"ve never been on another planet before. I"m sure you take it for granted but it"s kind of a big deal for me."
"We"re not here for pleasure or so you can take a sight-seeing tour of the Wulven Howlund," Tragar growled, losing his patience.
"The what? What"s a Howlund?"
"The place the males congregate when they"re about to...never mind. It"s not a place you should go." He shook his head, knowing his sarcasm was lost on her. The Howlund was the area just outside of town where the male Wulven went when they were close to changing forms-the worst place a female Khalla in heat could go. He"d parked the shuttle as far from that area as possible, in a shaded, hidden place on the edge of a forest in order to be less conspicuous.
"Apparently no place is a place I should go except where you say I can go," she flared. "I"m just supposed to accept everything you tell me and do everything you say without question-is that it?"
"You should listen to me and obey my orders because I"m trying to keep you safe!" Tragar was aware that his voice had dropped to an angry growl but he couldn"t seem to help it-her scent was pushing him over the edge.
Her eyebrows rose.
"Obey your orders? Would you listen to yourself? You"re the one who s.n.a.t.c.hed me away from home and decided to take me to Rageron! It"s not like I signed on for this-I"m not your soldier-I"m your prisoner."
"All the more reason for you to obey," Tragar snarled. "And if you are a prisoner of anything, it"s your own body-the changes you are going through cannot be denied. If I hadn"t taken you, you"d be dead by now or almost so. Is that what you want? To die?"
She sucked in a breath, her eyes suddenly bright.
"Of course not," she whispered. "Of course I don"t want to die."
Tragar let out a low curse and ran his hand through his hair. He"d gone too far, d.a.m.n it! Her scent was making him crazy-making him want to take her when he knew he must not.
"Forgive me," he said roughly. "It"s just...I"ve never dealt with a Khalla before. I have only my old training to fall back on."
"Your training and your instincts-the same ones that kept you from killing me in the first place, isn"t that right?" she said in a low, angry voice. "The same instincts that are the only reason you"re flying me all around the universe instead of zipping me into a body bag." She looked up at him. "I"m sure that would have been easier for you, wouldn"t it? Just killing me?"
Tragar felt guilt wash over him. He had killed again and again and felt nothing every time. But now her cool gaze on him made the sins of the past weigh heavy on his back.
"I have to go," he said shortly.
"Fine." Emily looked away.
"I"ll be back as soon as possible." Her scent was driving Tragar insane-he had to get out, he told himself-had to get away for a little while. Taking care not to open the shuttle door wider than was absolutely necessary, he slipped out and shut the door, making sure it locked from the inside. The moment he took a breath of fresh air he felt better-his head clearer. It was true that her scent had changed since she slipped into Scintil but it was still nearly impossible not to be affected by it in close quarters.
It certainly affected you enough to say some fairly cruel things, a little voice in his brain whispered. He looked at Emily through the window of the shuttle and saw her brush something from her cheek. Was she crying? Had he made her cry? He cursed himself for an insensitive b.a.s.t.a.r.d and for a moment he wanted to open the door of the shuttle and gather her into his arms-to try and comfort her and ask her forgiveness for the fight they"d just had. But he didn"t think she"d want his hands on her just now. h.e.l.l, she probably hated him! Tragar couldn"t say he blamed her-he hated himself at the moment, too.
She glanced up and he saw the shine of tears in her eyes. The sight twisted his heart but he tried to keep his face impa.s.sive. There was nothing he could do to mend the situation now-he"d let Emily cool down a little and apologize to her later.
He gave her a brief nod which the little female didn"t return and looked around to find his bearings. He"d only been to this planet once while hunting a target but a quick call to his master had yielded enough information to get him to Xen"dex"s domicile.
He walked a few steps in the right direction and looked back, shading his eyes from the bright blue sunlight. G"nera orbited a blue giant sun and though the planet was far from its home star, the sunshine was still fiercely hot. To his satisfaction, he saw that the small shuttle appeared completely hidden in the overhanging leaves of the large bush he"d parked under. Unless someone was actually looking for the shuttle, they wouldn"t even see it. Emily should be safe as long as she stayed inside.
Promising himself that he"d be back soon to make things right between them, he set off in the direction Xen"dex had told him, looking for his old master and some much needed help.
Emily couldn"t remember the last time she"d felt so awful. The fight with the big Kindred had really upset her-probably much more than it should have. Maybe it was the weird hormonal changes in her body or maybe it was just the fact that he"d left her shut up in the car like a freaking dog-whatever the reason, she was completely p.i.s.sed off.
I don"t smell-I don"t know what he"s talking about, the big jerk, she thought resentfully. The only one who smelled was Tragar-he had that dark, spicy, dangerous scent that seemed to draw her to him even when she was angry with him. Even now, it lingered in the small shuttle, making her p.u.s.s.y ache and her nipples tight each time she inhaled. G.o.d, what she wouldn"t do for some fresh air! But Tragar had seemed to think that even cracking the window would be a bad idea. d.a.m.n the stupid big Kindred a.s.shole...
Part of her knew it probably wasn"t fair to think of him like that but she couldn"t help it-suddenly she just felt like she was a hair away from losing it and screaming until she was hoa.r.s.e. Then, abruptly, she felt like crying again instead. Freaking mood swings! Oh, she was so over this whole thing. Except she wasn"t-and she wouldn"t be until her body was finished changing. That was, unless she could find a way to keep it from completing the strange, inevitable cycle it was set on. But how?
Emily shifted in her seat again, looking longingly out the window. She couldn"t see much. Tragar had parked them under some kind of huge bush thing with silver and purple leaves.
It was a weird color combination but oddly beautiful, the way the leaves-mostly lavender shading to deep purple at their tips-were etched with thin silver lines which almost looked like some kind of writing. In fact, the more she looked at the broad leaf which was so close it was rubbing against her window, the more she could almost make out some kind of message written in strange, silvery script.
"Come...out," she read aloud, under her breath. Wait-did the leaf really say that? She rubbed her eyes and looked again. Yes-it did! The words weren"t written in English but somehow she was able to read them anyway. Was the translation bacteria working on her? The leaves rustled softly and more words began to form on the pale purple surface. "Come out...be free...breathe deep," she read. "Explore...see what is new..." It was almost as though the leaf knew exactly what she wanted to do and was urging her to do it.