Emily bit back a moan as she shifted her hips to get away from him. His touch wasn"t nearly as painful as her own but it didn"t feel good either-it was too intense-too much somehow.
"What"s wrong with me?" she asked, frustrated almost to tears. "All this time even when I couldn"t touch myself-my b.r.e.a.s.t.s I mean-at least you could touch them. And now...this. What the h.e.l.l is going on?"
"Your p.u.s.s.y honey simply needs to flow," Tragar rumbled. "But it cannot-like your nectar, it"s being inhibited."
Emily bit her lip. "By the star-silver thing I used, right?"
"Possibly. For whatever reason, this happens to Khalla sometimes when they enter Vlammen. They grow incredibly sensitive when their honey needs to flow."
"So then...there must be a cure, right? Some way to make things all better?" Emily looked at him hopefully.
He nodded. "There is. It is called the Healing Kiss. Traditionally it is given only by the Khalla"s chosen mate."
"Okay." Emily felt a surge of relief. "So you just need to kiss me? No problem." She was so eager to feel better that she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the big Kindred"s neck and pulled him in close. His warm scent invaded her senses and she pressed her mouth to his, taking his sensual lips in a heated kiss she could feel all the way down to her toes.
Tragar seemed surprised at first but then he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, exploring her mouth gently before sucking her tongue into his mouth until Emily moaned with breathless pleasure. G.o.d, he tasted good! Hot and spicy like cinnamon candy-the flavor of his mouth was wild and delicious and completely addictive.
She loved the feeling of being in his arms, feeling safe and protected and wanted but she needed to get closer to him, to thrust against him until she could feel his big, hard body pressed against every inch of hers. More...need more! whispered an urgent little voice in her head.
But when she pushed closer, the leather of his black vest rubbed against her tender nipples painfully, sending flashes of agony from her pink peaks all the way down to her p.u.s.s.y. Emily gave a little cry and drew back, breaking the kiss abruptly.
"Are you all right?" Tragar"s voice was a soft growl of l.u.s.t but the look in his eyes was concerned.
"Fine, I just...I rubbed against you the wrong way is all." She nodded down at her exposed b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Sorry."
"I am the one who is sorry. I would never want to cause you any kind of pain, my Khalla." He bent to kiss her hurt nipples gently, sending a shiver through her.
"So was that right?" she asked, trying to ignore the urgent need she felt to press her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to his mouth and beg him to kiss them again. "Am I, uh, healed?" Without waiting for his answer, she reached between her legs to cup her p.u.s.s.y. The stab of pain she felt at her own touch made her gasp and pull back her hand as though she"d been burned. "Ow!"
"Are you all right?" Tragar asked at once.
"No! I thought you said the Healing Kiss would help. But I still can"t touch myself and I still feel all swollen and tense." Emily wanted to cry with frustration. "Why didn"t it work? Did we do it wrong?"
"It didn"t work because the Healing Kiss is not meant to be applied to your lips," he murmured. "At least, not these lips." He brushed her mouth gently with the pad of his thumb.
"What? What do you mean?" Emily looked at him uncertainly, her heart thumping.
"You know what I mean," he said quietly. "I am acting as your chosen mate and that is how your body reacts to me. In order to take away your pain and help your honey flow, I must kiss you Emily-kiss your soft little p.u.s.s.y until you feel better."
"I don"t...I can"t..." She felt a stab of panic at the thought of letting him kiss her there-letting him put his mouth between her legs.
"Master Xen"dex thought it might come to this, though I had hoped we would reach Rageron before you entered Vlammen." Tragar looked troubled. "I fear it will only increase the growing dependency between us but it"s the only thing that will ease your pain and allow your honey to flow."
"But...I don"t want you to do that. To kiss me there," Emily burst out at last. "I don"t."
He frowned. "Are you worried I might hurt you? Or are you uncertain because you"ve never had your p.u.s.s.y kissed before, my Khalla?"
"It"s not that I"m afraid it might hurt-you seem to know how to touch me even when I can"t touch myself. It"s just..." Emily closed her eyes, unable to look at him. "Well, it"s not the first time someone wanted to...to do that. I had a boyfriend in high school-a guy named Jason. I never really had any s.e.xual feelings for him..."
"Because you had not reached your Tenrah yet," Tragar rumbled.
"Right, I guess. But he did have s.e.xual feelings for me. I mean, he was a teenaged boy, right? So of course he did. And I wanted to keep him happy so I let him...try a few things."
Emily shuddered as she remembered the wrongness she"d felt when she allowed Jason to touch her. He"d been such a nice guy-so handsome and sweet, if a little bit clumsy-and she"d wanted so desperately to feel for him what he felt for her. But every time she let him grope her b.r.e.a.s.t.s or slip his hand under her skirt, the overwhelming waves of shame and repugnance would wash over her, so strongly sometimes that she could hardly sit still and let it happen. And then, that one night-the night he said he wanted to try something different...
"You let him taste you?" Tragar asked quietly.
Emily nodded. "I did. I didn"t want to but he wanted to try it so much and I was afraid he"d break up with me if I didn"t let him do it at least once."
"And what happened?" he asked softly. "How did it feel?"
"Awful." Emily couldn"t hold back the shiver that pa.s.sed over her entire body. "So...so wrong. I mean, it wasn"t as bad as what Grayson did to me-Jason was never mean, he never held me down or forced me. But I remember just lying there, cringing and feeling so...so..."
"Violated?" he suggested softly.
"Yes. Exactly." Emily nodded and found she was crying. She dashed the tears from her eyes angrily. "Violated...degraded...all that and worse. I felt like I was performing some sick, twisted act or one was being performed on me. And then I couldn"t stand it anymore and I pushed him away and he..."
She shook her head, not wanting to remember. It wasn"t as painful as her memory of Grayson but it was no picnic either.
"He what?" Tragar"s voice was a low, warning growl.
"He didn"t force me or anything-not like Grayson," Emily said quickly. "But he said I was frigid-he said he could tell that any time I let him touch me I was just barely enduring it. He asked me what was wrong with me and I...I couldn"t answer him. Because I didn"t know."
"How could you know?" Tragar asked reasonably. "His touch felt wrong to you because he was not your kind-because he was not Kindred. A Khalla can only bear such an intimate touch from her chosen mate. Your body rejected that other male because he was not right for you."
"I know that now." Emily sniffed and blotted her eyes with the hem of the pale green petal shirt "And I know you only want to help me. It"s just...really hard to get over that memory. I think that experience is the reason it took so long for the, uh, the other to start making herself known. I didn"t have any s.e.xual desire at all until I was in college and she started coming out. And of course, you know how that ended."
"I understand your pain and reluctance." Tragar stroked a strand of hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. "Every male who has ever touched you has taken from you...has hurt you."
"Every one but you," Emily whispered, daring to look up into his eyes.
"And I won"t hurt you now." He held her gaze with his own. "I know you have bad memories a.s.sociated with this act and I swear I wouldn"t ask it of you if it wasn"t necessary. But Emily, I have to ask you to trust me. Can you do that?"
"I..." She took a deep breath. "I guess I can try."
"Good. All I ask is that you let me kiss you just once, very gently." He stroked her cheek, speaking softly and earnestly in that deep, growling voice of his. "Just once and if it feels wrong and bad in any way you can tell me to stop and I will."
Emily bit her lip, filled with uncertainty. On one hand, she really, really didn"t want him to do this. Her memories of this act were so bad and wrong and painful she could barely stand to acknowledge them, much less repeat the act that had caused them. On the other hand, Tragar had seemed to know, right from the start, what was good and right for her-for her body, anyway. He hadn"t steered her wrong yet and even when he"d gotten angry with her, he had never been rough or cruel. And now he was being so sweet and patient and gentle...maybe...maybe she could risk it.
"Just once?" she asked fearfully. "And if I don"t like it you"ll stop?"
"Just once-I swear it on my honor as a warrior."
The steady, honest look in his deep gold eyes decided her.
"All right," she whispered, nodding. "Just once. I"ll let you do it just once if you really think it will help."
"It"s the only thing that can help, my Khalla." Tragar stroked her cheek again. "You honor me with your trust and with the gift of your body. I swear I will never treat you with anything but gentleness and respect."
"Thank you." Emily was touched by his little speech. It was almost as though he was swearing a vow to her, one he intended to honor no matter what.
"All right." He rose from the floor and started reaching for some pillows. "Let"s get you more comfortable."
"What do you mean? What are you doing?" Emily looked at him uncertainly. He had pulled the large, square pillows from the top of the bed and was arranging them under her back and shoulders.
"Getting you into position. I want you to watch as I do this-as I kiss you." Tragar propped a pillow under her behind too, elevating her so that when she leaned back she would be in a semi-reclining position. "I think it will ease your mind somewhat if you can see what is happening."
"I...I"m not sure about that." But she was already in position. And she had to admit it was probably better to see than to lie there in the dark with one arm thrown over her eyes fighting back tears and waiting for the awful sensation to be over. No, don"t think about that, she told herself quickly. Put it out of your mind. Tragar isn"t Jason and this isn"t high school. You"re going to be fine. If it feels bad he"s going to stop-he promised he would.
"Are you comfortable?" Tragar had taken a pillow for himself and put it on the floor in front of the bed. He knelt on it now, looking at her seriously.
"I...I guess so." Emily still wasn"t sure how to feel about this. Was it going to be as bad as last time? She hoped not but she couldn"t help feeling tense inside-the muscles in her stomach were jumping and her entire body felt clenched tight like a fist.
Please, she thought. Please don"t let it be too bad...
As she watched, Tragar lowered himself to kneel before her. Emily had shut her legs when he got her into position-well, she"d shut them as much as she could bear to, anyway. Her p.u.s.s.y was throbbing by now-swollen with need she didn"t want to acknowledge. But she knew if she didn"t get some relief soon she would be in serious pain. Her body was crying out for something-something only Tragar could give her. If she could bear to let him do what needed to be done.
"Gently, my Khalla," he murmured, caressing the tops of her thighs with long, slow strokes of his warm hands. "Gently and slowly, I swear it. Please-open for me."
"All right," Emily whispered. Slowly she let her thighs drift apart again, exposing her swollen p.u.s.s.y. G.o.d, it was so embarra.s.sing how hot and wet she was! Her c.l.i.t was peaking out of her pink folds as if begging for attention. She wondered if the Healing Kiss the big Kindred was going to give her would really make her feel better? She really hoped so-as long as she could stand it.
"I"m just going to kiss the top of your mound first." He stroked the top of her p.u.s.s.y, caressing the small patch of well trimmed blonde curls.
"Okay." Emily shivered at the gentle touch and felt a tendril of pleasure curl through her. Maybe it would be all right...
He dipped his head and, his eyes never leaving her face, placed a soft kiss on the top of her mound, his lips just brushing the top of her slit. He let the kiss linger for a long moment before pulling back.
"All right?" He raised his eyebrows, clearly wanting to know how she felt.
Emily let out a breath she hadn"t known she was holding.
"Yes," she said tentatively. "All right so far."
"Good." Tragar rubbed his cheek against her sensitive inner thigh. "Then I"m going to kiss you a little lower, my Khalla. I"m going to kiss your sweet little p.u.s.s.y, where you need to be kissed."
"All...all right," Emily whispered. "And you"ll stop if I say so?"
"I"ll stop if you say so," he promised gravely. Ducking his head again, he spread her thighs even wider, opening her p.u.s.s.y so that her swollen folds blossomed for him, almost like a flower.
Emily bit her lip, embarra.s.sed at being so open and scared to death at how vulnerable this position made her feel. She wondered what the big Kindred was waiting for-he was just sitting there, his broad shoulders spreading her legs wide and gazing down at her p.u.s.s.y. There was a look almost of reverence on his face as he took her in.
"Beautiful," she heard him mutter under his breath. "So f.u.c.king beautiful..."
She opened her mouth to ask him if he was going to kiss her or not-the suspense was killing her-but just then he ducked his head again. Gently, he pressed a soft, open-mouthed kiss to her swollen p.u.s.s.y.
Emily clenched her hands into fists, waiting for the wrong feeling to envelop her, waiting for the guilt and grief and terror to overtake her...but they didn"t come. In fact, she felt nothing but pleasure as his hot mouth pressed to her most sensitive, secret area.
As before, Tragar let the kiss linger. She felt the press of his warm tongue against her swollen c.l.i.t but he didn"t try to lick or taste her-he just held still, his mouth barely moving, kissing her p.u.s.s.y as tenderly as he had kissed her mouth earlier.
Emily felt some emotion welling up inside her but she didn"t know what it was. Maybe relief? Or maybe something else...the need for more.
"G.o.d," she whispered in a low, shaky voice. "That feels..."
Tragar pulled reluctantly away, licking his lips. "How does it feel my Khalla?" he growled softly. "G.o.ds, but your p.u.s.s.y is so sweet and ripe."
"It feels good," Emily said slowly. "It feels...right."
"Because I am giving you what your body needs." He rubbed her inner thigh again with his scratchy cheek, making her shiver. "But you need even more, my Khalla. You need to let me spread you completely open and taste and lick your p.u.s.s.y. You need to come on my tongue in order to give up your honey."
Emily felt a rush of desire burn through her at his hot words. The big Kindred"s golden eyes were half-lidded with l.u.s.t and she knew he wasn"t just giving her what she needed. He really did like her taste-he wanted more too.
"Then..." She cleared her throat a little self consciously. "Then you can...can kiss me again, I guess."
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Deeper this time?"
"Yes, if...if you want."
"I want to press my tongue inside your p.u.s.s.y and give you the Deep Healing Kiss," he growled softly. "But not until I bathe your sweet little c.l.i.t and make you come."
"You...you do?" Emily couldn"t help how breathless her voice sounded. She was getting warm now-getting hot. Now that she knew she wasn"t going to be swamped by a rush of negative emotions she wanted to feel his mouth on her again.
Tragar nodded. "G.o.ds, yes. If I can help you come, it should make your honey start to flow." His voice dropped to a low growl. "And I want so badly to taste your honey, my Khalla. To taste it right from the source and feel it flow over my tongue as your inner walls clench around me."
"Then do it," Emily whispered. "Kiss me."
"With pleasure." He lowered his mouth to her p.u.s.s.y and started kissing her again-only this time it was more like licking and tasting.
Emily moaned breathlessly as he ran his tongue from the bottom of her slit to the top, stopping along the way to circle the aching b.u.t.ton of her c.l.i.t, bathing it with the tip of his tongue just as he had promised he would. Her fears had completely melted away by now, replaced by pleasure. Oh G.o.d, the feeling of his intimate kisses on her secret flesh was just what she needed. She could feel her body opening for him, her p.u.s.s.y blossoming as she pressed eagerly against his mouth, searching for more of what only he could give her.
Tragar licked and kissed her deeper, tracing her swollen folds with his tongue, flicking her aching c.l.i.t mercilessly until she threw back her head and moaned. Somehow her fingers found their way into his long, black hair and Emily found she was pulling him forward as she pressed her hips up to meet his mouth, rubbing shamelessly against his invading tongue.
Tragar took her invitation eagerly. Sliding his big hands under her a.s.s, he pulled her closer, lapping her open folds and sucking her swollen c.l.i.t into his mouth while Emily moaned and pulled his hair.
"Tragar," she heard herself begging, completely unable to stop herself. "Oh G.o.d, please...I"m so close...please!"
He looked up for a moment, his golden eyes burning with l.u.s.t.
"G.o.ds, Emily, that"s right," he growled hoa.r.s.ely. "Ride my tongue-rub your p.u.s.s.y hard against my face. Pull my hair and come for me...come until you give up all your sweet honey."
Then he ducked his head and redoubled his efforts, licking her swollen folds until she cried out and bucked up to meet his mouth, her thighs clenching around the side of his face as her hands fisted in his long, black hair.
Emily could scarcely believe what she was doing. Could this be timid little kindergarten teacher Emily who never wanted to get within fifty feet of a man, lying here on the edge of the bed with her thighs spread wide by the big Kindred"s broad shoulders? Was she really allowing him to open her p.u.s.s.y with his tongue and lick and suck and kiss her until she moaned and cried and begged for more? It seemed impossible and yet it was happening-she was losing control, giving it up completely for the man between her legs and she never wanted it to end.
The pleasure kept building and building as he bathed her c.l.i.t with his hot tongue until suddenly all the tension she"d felt seemed to burst inside her. It was as though she"d had a spring somewhere deep in her midsection and his relentless attention had finally caused it to snap.
"Tragar...oh! OH!" Emily had never felt so out of control. Crying and gasping she pressed herself up to meet him as the o.r.g.a.s.m overtook her. It was deeper than the ones she"d had when he pinched and sucked her nipples-deeper and more complex in a way that made her feel like she was melting from the waist downward. She was bucking so wildly that the big Kindred had to brace both hands on her abdomen and lace his fingers together to hold her in place but through it all, he never stopped licking. He guided her through her o.r.g.a.s.m, lapping and sucking and circling her c.l.i.t until finally Emily felt something else happen.