It made her light-headed. It made her content.
It made her whole.
She wasn"t beautiful. She knew she wasn"t beautiful, she knew she"d never be more than pa.s.sably attractive, and that was only on her good days. But he thought she was beautiful, and when he looked at her ...
She felt beautiful. And she"d never felt that way before.
He kissed her again, his lips hungrier this time, nibbling, caressing, waking her body, rousing her soul. Her belly had begun to tingle, and her skin felt hot and needy where his hands touched her through the thin green fabric of her dress.
And never once did she think, This is wrong. This kiss was everything she"d been brought up to fear and avoid, but she knew-body, mind, and soul-that nothing in her life had ever been so right. She had been born for this man, and she"d spent so many years trying to accept the fact that he had been born for someone else.
To be proven wrong was the most exquisite pleasure imaginable.
She wanted him, she wanted this, she wanted the way he made her feel.
She wanted to be beautiful, even if it was only in one man"s eyes.
They were, she thought dreamily as he laid her down on the plush cushion of the carriage bench, the only eyes that mattered.
She loved him. She had always loved him. Even now, when he was so angry with her that she barely recognized him, when he was so angry with her that she wasn"t even sure she liked him, she loved him.
And she wanted to be his.
The first time he had kissed her, she had accepted his advances with a pa.s.sive delight, but this time she was determined to be an active partner. She still couldn"t quite believe that she was here, with him, and she certainly wasn"t ready to let herself dream that he might ever be kissing her on a regular basis.
This might never happen again. She might never again feel the exquisite weight of him pressing against her, or the scandalous tickle of his tongue against hers.
She had one chance. One chance to make a memory that would have to last a lifetime. One chance to reach for bliss.
Tomorrow would be awful, knowing that he would find some other woman with whom to laugh and joke and even marry, but today ...
Today was hers.
And by G.o.d, she was going to make this a kiss to remember.
She reached up and touched his hair. She was hesitant at first-just because she was determined to be an active, willing partner didn"t mean she had a clue what she was doing. His lips were slowly easing all the reason and intelligence from her mind, but still, she couldn"t quite help noticing that his hair felt exactly like Eloise"s, which she had brushed countless times during their years of friendship. And heaven help her...
She giggled.
That got his attention, and he lifted his head, his lips touched by an amused smile. "I beg your pardon?" he queried.
She shook her head, trying to fight off her smile, knowing she was losing the battle.
"Oh, no, you must," he insisted. "I couldn"t possibly continue without knowing the reason for the giggle."
She felt her cheeks burning, which struck her as ridiculously ill-timed. Here she was, completely misbehaving in the back of a carriage, and it was only now that she had the decency to blush?
"Tell me," he murmured, nibbling at her ear.
She shook her head.
His lips found the exact point where her pulse beat in her throat. "Tell me."
All she did-all she could do-was moan, arching her neck to give him greater access.
Her dress, which she hadn"t even realized had been partially unb.u.t.toned, slid down until her collarbone was exposed, and she watched with giddy fascination as his lips traced the line of it, until his entire face was nuzzled perilously close to her bosom.
""Will you tell me?" he whispered, grazing her skin with his teeth.
"Tell you what?" she gasped.
His lips were wicked, moving lower, then lower still. "Why you were laughing?"
For several seconds Penelope couldn"t even remember what he was talking about.
His hand cupped her breast through her dress. "I"ll torment you until you tell me," he threatened.
Penelope"s answer was an arch of her back, settling her breast even more firmly in his grasp.
She liked his torment.
"I see," he murmured, simultaneously sliding her bodice down and moving his hand so that his palm grazed her nipple. "Then perhaps I"ll"-his hand stilled, then lifted-"stop."
"No," she moaned.
"Then tell me."
She stared at her breast, mesmerized by the sight of it, bare and open to his gaze.
"Tell me," he whispered, blowing softly so that his breath brushed across her.
Something clenched inside Penelope, deep inside of her, in places that were never talked about.
"Colin, please," she begged.
He smiled, slow and lazy, satisfied and still somehow hungry. "Please what?" he asked.
"Touch me," she whispered.
His index finger slid along her shoulder. "Here?"
She shook her head frantically.
He trailed down the column of her neck. "Am I getting closer?" he murmured.
She nodded, her eyes never leaving her breast.
He found her nipple again, his fingers tracing slow, tantalizing spirals around it, then on it, and all the while she watched, her body growing tighter and tighter.
And all she could hear was her breath, hot and heavy from her lips.
Then- "Colin!" His name flew from her mouth in a strangled gasp. Surely he couldn"t- His lips closed around her, and before she"d even felt more than the heat of him, she bucked off the bench in surprise, her hips pressing shamelessly against his, then settling back down as he ground against her, holding her immobile as he pleasured her.
"Oh, Colin, Colin," she gasped, her hands flying around to his back, pressing desperately into his muscles, wanting nothing other than to hold him and keep him and never let him go.
He yanked at his shirt, pulling it free from the waist of his breeches, and she followed his cue by slipping her hands under the fabric and running them along the hot skin of his back. She"d never touched a man this way; she"d never touched anyone like this, except maybe herself, and even then, it wasn"t like she could easily reach her own back.
He groaned when she touched him, then tensed when her fingers skimmed along his skin. Her heart leaped. He liked this; he liked the way she was touching him. She hadn"t the least clue what to do with herself, but he liked it just the same.
"You"re perfect," he whispered against her skin, his lips blazing a trail back up to the underside of her chin. His mouth claimed hers again, this time with increased fervor, and his hands slid underneath to cup her derriere, squeezing and kneading and pressing her up against his arousal.
"My G.o.d, I want you," he gasped, grinding his hips down. "I want to strip you bare and sink into you and never let you go."
Penelope groaned with desire, unable to believe how much pleasure she could feel from mere words. He made her feel wicked, naughty, and oh-so-desirable.
And she never wanted it to end.
"Oh, Penelope," he was groaning, his lips and hands growing more frantic. "Oh, Penelope. Oh, Penelope, oh-" He lifted his head. Very abruptly.
"Oh, G.o.d."
"What is it?" she asked, trying to lift the back of her head from the cushion.
"We"ve stopped."
It took her a moment to recognize the import of this. If they"d stopped, that meant they"d most likely reached their destination, which was ...
Her home.
" Oh, G.o.d!" She started yanking at the bodice of her gown with frantic motions. "Can"t we just ask the driver to keep going?"
She"d already proven herself a complete wanton. There seemed little harm at this point in adding "shameless" to her list of behaviors.
He grabbed the bodice for her and hauled it into place. "What is the possibility your mother won"t have noticed my carriage in front of your house yet?"
"Fairly good, actually," she said, "but Briarly will have done."
"Your butler will recognize my carriage?" he asked in disbelief.
She nodded. "You came the other day. He always remembers things like that."
His lips twisted in a grimly determined manner. "Very well, then," he said. "Make yourself presentable."
"I can race up to my room," Penelope said. "No one will see me."
"I doubt that," he said ominously, tucking in his shirt and smoothing his hair.
"No, I a.s.sure you-"
"And I a.s.sure you," he said, leaping on top of her words. "You will be seen." He licked his fingers, then ran them through his hair. "Do I look presentable?"
"Yes," she lied. In truth, he looked rather flushed, with swollen lips, and hair that didn"t remotely adhere to a current style.
"Good." He hopped down from the carriage and held his hand out to her.
"You"re coming in as well?" she asked.
He looked at her as if she"d suddenly gone daft. "Of course."
She didn"t move, too perplexed by his actions to give her legs the orders to step down. There was certainly no reason he had to accompany her inside. Propriety didn"t really demand it, and- "For G.o.d"s sake, Penelope," he said, grabbing her hand and yanking her down. "Are you going to marry me or not?"
CHAPTER 14.
She hit the pavement.
Penelope was-in her opinion, at least-a bit more graceful than most people gave her credit for. She was a good dancer, could play the piano with her fingers arched perfectly, and could usually navigate a crowded room without b.u.mping into an uncommon amount of people or furniture.
But when Colin made his rather matter-of-fact proposal, her foot-at the time halfway out of the carriage-found only air, her left hip found the curb, and her head found Colin"s toes.
"Good G.o.d, Penelope," he exclaimed, crouching down. "Are you all right?"
"Just fine," she managed to get out, searching for the hole in the ground that must have just opened up, so that she could crawl into it and die.
"Are you certain?"
"It"s nothing, really," she replied, holding her cheek, which she was certain now sported a perfect imprint of the top of Colin"s boot. "Just a bit surprised, that is all."
"Why?"
"Why?" she echoed.
"Yes, why?"
She blinked. Once, twice, then again. "Er, well, it might have to do with your mentioning marriage."
He yanked her unceremoniously to her feet, nearly dislocating her shoulder in the process. "Well, what did you think I would say?"
She stared at him in disbelief. Was he mad? "Not that," she finally replied.
"I"m not a complete boor," he muttered.
She brushed dust and pebbles off her sleeves. "I never said you were, I just-"