Ren Zhouyan woke up from his sleep and looked out the window. The sky was still dark, the blackness outside seemingly swallowing up the earth with the sight of people panicking. He looked at An sleeping by his side, unknowingly pulling on his clothes with a face of satisfaction. Laughing, Ren Zhouyan kissed his forehead, pulled up the quilt he had kicked down and laid back once more.He closed his eyes; messy pictures began playing out in his head as dreams.The images in the dream were very chaotic. Sometimes he dreamt of when he was a child living in the orphanage, embarra.s.sed to refuse his cla.s.smate who wanted to come over to this home to play. Sometimes he dreamt of An, and how he hid at home with him for several months, afraid to go out. And sometimes, he dreamt of when he was in the archaeological team, and how his peers cast contemptuous and puzzled gazes at him.His mind a mess, Ren Zhouyan simply opened his eyes and stared at the dark ceiling.He was unusually calm. He felt that he had never seen his past and present so clearly.In his past, to be honest, he lived quite badly. He minded his own childbirth. Whatever he did, he was afraid of offending people—afraid of being looked down upon. So he had always been cautious, observing the reactions of others.Literature was the only thing he valued before he got An. As a child, he was with literature, grew up to eat with literature, seemed to only be in front of literature. He lived like a normal person, a man who had his own ideas.But because of his obsession, he dazzled him on that night five years ago and changed his life.He didn"t remember the man"s name, or what he did. Over the years, the only thing he could recall was that arrogant face that he wanted to beat up so badly.He looked at An who had scooted closer to his bosom. A corner of his heart went soft—if it wasn’t for that absurd time, he wouldn"t have such a clever and obedient son.That man ruined his future and changed the trajectory of his life, but gave him what he wanted the most.A home.Ren Zhouyan turned over, hugged An closer to his chest and rubbed his hair with his chin. Then, he closed both his eyes once more.This time, those pictures no longer bothered him. It was as if the hard days were going to be left behind. That after being alone for so long, he would eventually get the life he wanted.The next day, Ren Zhouyan was up early. He laid in bed to see An sleeping next to him with a flushed face and helped him wake up*. He then aided him to change into a handsome polo shirt and jeans, held him while going to the sink, pushed a toothbrush with some toothpaste into his mouth and went out to make breakfast.*他将还赖在床上睡得满脸通红的安安唤醒
It was April, and schools of all sizes had started. Kindergartens in metropolitan cities were slightly better equipped. It was also thanks to Fan Wenfeng that he found a private kindergarten nearby that was willing to accept a transfer.An washed his face and came out of the bathroom less groggy than he was before. He saw Ren Zhouyan busy by the kitchen. He thought for a moment then went in. As usual, he grabbed the hem of Ren Zhouyan"s shirt, following him closely as he asked: "Dad, where are we going this morning?"Ren Zhouyan sandwiched the last friend egg between the bread, turned off the stove and put the pan in the sink. Then, he carried a plate each in his hands while dragging his little follower behind him to the hall.An very consciously climbed up onto the couch. From one of the plates, he picked up a sandwich and began to eat it while looking Ren Zhouyan in the eyes.Ren Zhouyan took another piece. While eating, he said: "We have to go to kindergarten to play. There are plenty of children there, An can play with them. And there are so many beautiful teachers that will teach you. When An learns, come back and teach Dad."As An listened, his complexion suddenly changed, the beautiful face wrinkling together. But he didn"t say anything good or bad. He just kept eating his bread silently.Ren Zhouyan understood at a glance that An was unhappy. He knew that An didn"t like kindergarten. But the kindergarten itself had no problem. It was the fact that he had to leave Dad that made An dissatisfied.He was incredibly touched by his son"s affection for himself, but at the same time it was a headache. As An sat quietly on his lap, Ren Zhouyan whispered: "Dad also doesn"t want to send An-an to kindergarten, but Dad has to work to make money. If An is left at home alone, Dad is going to worry about bad guys. There will be no one to protect An. If An gets taken away, Dad will never see An again."As soon as he heard those words, An"s eyes began tearing up, looking like he suffered a great injustice. He childishly whimpered and said: "Can"t Dad work at home like before?"Ren Zhouyan felt his heart clench, but his tone was firm as he said: "Dad wants to make a lot of money so he can send an to elementary school then to university. But if Dad works at home, I can"t send An to school. Does An want to be a bad boy who knows nothing?"Before An and Ren Zhouyan lived outside, they had once seen children being chased by their parents. At that time, Ren Zhouyan told him that he should study hard to become a good boy, not a bad boy. The term "bad boy" had been recorded by An, and every time Ren Zhouyan said it, he would think of that child who was being chased.Sure enough, when he said it, An hesitated. But he quickly said again: "An won"t be a bad boy! Dad can teach An, so that An won"t have to go to elementary school or university. I don"t want to be a big boss*. I want to take care of Dad at home."*aka: An wants to become a big shot CEO or something. Go for it An. Shoot for the skies!
Ren Zhouyan didn"t know whether to laugh or cry at his words. An always said that when he grows up, he would become a big boss so that he could take care of his Dad. But now, just so he could avoid attending kindergarten, he gave up his dream of becoming one.He felt that he would be worn down and soon fail to convince An. He gave in first, so this time he became cold-hearted, and said: "Didn"t An say that he"ll listen to Dad"s words? Dad doesn"t like disobedient kids."When An heard this, he instantly went quiet.But at An"s silence, Ren Zhouyan felt panic in his heart. He wanted to let the child know that he would be sent to kindergarten no matter what, but he was afraid that he would be sad. An was different from other children since he grew up running around with him, so his heart was particularly sensitive. Like him before when he was afraid of others being unhappy, An was afraid that Ren Zhouyan didn"t want him.The two of them sat on the same position while Ren Zhouyan glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost time to go out, so he wanted to coax An. However, he suddenly felt something wet on his arm.Ren Zhouyan panicked and put down the sandwich he was holding. He wanted to turn An"s face, but the child had been dodging. Soon, he even used his feet, hiding behind them so that he wouldn"t be seen*.*蹬着小腿儿不愿把正面露出来 MTL: Do not want to expose the front with your calf.
An had been shedding his tears silently, not letting even the smallest sound out. He repressed his sadness in his heart. At this time, he was a little out of breath, so when he pulled out his cries, it was likely he hadn"t gasped for breath*.*哭得一抽一抽的，像是有点喘不过气来MTL: Cries to pull out, a little has not gasped likely for breath.
Ren Zhouyan panicked to G.o.d. He held An in his arms and rubbed his back to soothe him, saying: "An, please don"t cry. Please don"t cry ah. Dad just wants to scare An. It wasn"t true. An is very obedient. Dad can"t love you enough, so how can I hate you?"An"s sobs became louder and louder, but Ren Zhouyan felt relieved at this. Before, An often suppressed his weeping. He didn"t know he was crying, so he was shocked to discover him doing so.Ren Zhouyan felt that he couldn"t be a strict father in his lifetime. As soon as the child would cry, he would be at his wits end, the so-called defeat of the loving mother*. This sentence applied to him even if he was a man. He really couldn"t bear to see his child sad. Ren Zhouyan sighed: "An is good. If An doesn"t want to go to kindergarten, Dad will stay with you at home."*probably meaning that he"s weak to the child like a warm/caring mother is
An"s two hands grabbed both sides of Ren Zhouyan"s clothes. His mood had gradually calmed down. He buried himself in Ren Zhouyan"s chest and whispered: "Dad big bad guy.""En, Dad is a big bad guy." He said, stroking An"s head with his hand and wiping his sweat off. "Come, lift your head. Don"t hold your breath."An turned and reluctantly looked up.The beautiful face was red from crying. Ren Zhouyan was a bit embarra.s.sed to think it looked cute. Only now in the present could An be spoiled and cry like normal children."Dad will hold you while you wash your face. Let"s not go to the kindergarten, Dad will go back and call the teacher later." Ren Zhouyan thought that it wasn"t appropriate to put the child in kindergarten so suddenly. In the future, he would slowly try to leave the child alone and let him have more contact with the outside world. Good, he would discuss this matterHe suddenly remembered Vichy and the education group* it had that was targeted at children An"s age. However, at the thought of that man, he erased the idea immediately.*note: Vichy is a technology company that targets children 5-18 years old, remember? They have this education program for testing their products, I think. And this is what Ren Zhouyan is referring to.
Ren Zhouyan was thinking of how to progress, but An suddenly said: "I"ll go.""Ah?" Ren Zhouyan didn"t hear clearly, so he was a little late in responding. His eyes shone disbelief*. "An is going to kindergarten?"*actually said "inconceivable," but I had no idea how to fit that into the sentence (orig text: 不可思议)
Ren Ju An pursed his lips and nodded hesitantly.Ren Zhouyan was really shocked since he just witnessed An"s pitiful crying face. He wanted to tell him that he shouldn"t force himself, but for the child to be more independent, he swallowed back his words.After a bit of preparation, he successfully got An outside the house. When the two arrived at the kindergarten, it was an hour later than agreed. Even so, the teachers who received them were still very calm and didn"t show any impatience because of their tardiness.Fan Wenfeng helped him get everything done. Because he trusted him, he hadn"t come here yet. It was his first time going to the place.Miss Chen, the teacher responsible for An"s cla.s.s, led them around the campus and introduced them to the facilities. Ren Zhouyan felt that there was no problem, so he took the child to register.An had been following behind Ren Zhouyan quietly, not saying a word. He knew that he was still acting difficult, but Miss Chen saw this as him being well-behaved. Being half* would make him quite popular, and he also had an attractive face, so she wanted to have closer relations with the child.*actually says "mixed breed/half breed," but it sounds like we"re talking about a dog, so just half will do
"Little cla.s.smate is called Ren Ju An, right? Is there a nickname?" Teacher Chen smiled while looking at An, glancing up to Ren Zhouyan to ask.Ren Zhouyan was determined to make An more courageous, so he touched his head and said: "Introduce yourself to the teacher."An instinctively hid behind Ren Zhouyan, wrinkling his brows while looking at his Dad. He timidly glanced up the teacher and said: "I"m called An."Ren Zhouyan held back his impulse to help. Before, An"s behaviour could be seen as well-behaved and obedient, but now it was exactly a form of resistance to the appearance of others. Sure enough, Miss Chen saw the way he acted and froze for a moment. Immediately, she nodded while smiling. "An, is it? Call me Teacher Chen*. I"ll be your cla.s.s adviser*."*teacher-in-charge
Then, she looked at Ren Zhouyan.Ren Zhouyan could only smile awkwardly at her.Miss Chen eased up the atmosphere by saying: "An is quite close to your Dad*. Nowadays, only a few children are close to their fathers." As soon as she said this, she suddenly thought of how An"s information on his mother was blank. She deduced something and quickly changed the topic.* MTL: An and dad feelings really good
After they finished all the formalities, An followed Miss Chen back to the other children. Ren Zhouyan wasn"t sad to see him go. However after seeing An"s performance today, he began to reflect on his own educational problems.Miss Chen was right about one point. Children were closer to their mother. In fact, her words were true.However for the rest of his life, An would probably only have him as both a mother and a father.TL Note: Awww, An is so cute! He’s incredibly attached to his father to the point that he doesn’t want to leave him at all. But this can be bad too, especially since Ren Zhouyan needs to finds a new job. Well, at least he decided to go despite everything.
But on the other hand, An want to be a big boss when he grows up so that he can take care of his Dad! Isn’t that adorable? Where can I get an understanding and sensible bun like An?? Just kidding, I don’t want kids haha
As usual, feel free to point out any mistakes or ask for some clarifications.