"She"s hot," Baker commented. "Even in high school she was a hottie. When"s your divorce final, Wolfe? I want to ask her out."
Wolfe"s eyes flashed again until I laughed.
"You wouldn"t have a chance with Gabby. She"s way too sophisticated for you, Baker. I"m still trying to figure out what Rainey ever saw in you," I laughed. Wolfe chuckled as he realized we were kidding. Baker was always good for a laugh.
Baker winked. "Oh, you mean what she still sees in me?"
"What? When did that happen?" Wolfe asked. "I figured she would be smart enough to stay away from you after the horror stories I heard about the first time around."
Baker glared but he explained. "She said that she"s here for a week and we can be friends with benefits while she"s home. She"s probably going to come home for the summer, too, so I guess we will be spending a lot of time together."
"But what made her decide to be with you?" I asked.
"Har-har. Very funny. I am actually a really great guy. I make the ladies laugh," he said, boasting.
"Yeah, when you take your pants off." Wolfe rolled his eyes.
I laughed aloud.
"I guess she decided she wanted to get me out of my pants again. So we"re kind of dating, but not really. It"s a perfect relationship. She doesn"t want anything more than the summer." He smiled.
I was happy for him. I was. But I was so far from a perfect relationship with Mallory that my jealousy formed a fireball in the pit of my stomach. Why did their connection have to be easy when I fought every day to get close to Mallory? I pushed down the jealous part of me and focused on being happy for them.
"Congrats, man, that"s great." I hoped I didn"t sound too lame.
"Yeah, you"re living the dream! A relationship with a woman that doesn"t get emotional or needy. Good for you," Wolfe said. "Who wants a beer?" He made his way to my fridge. He pulled three cans out but I waved him off.
"I"m good," I said.
He shrugged and tossed one to Baker. I grabbed a bottle of water while they sat in my living room. I joined them a minute later.
"So I see you haven"t made much progress with Gabby," Baker said to Wolfe.
"No, not really. She refuses to talk to me until we go before the judge again. It"s like she"s afraid having any kind of conversation with me at all will make her fall back in love with me. But she"s never mean-she is the epitome of being civil. I don"t know how to get her to change her mind about me."
"Get her to sleep with you," Baker suggested. At our questioning looks, he grinned sheepishly. "Seriously. She will feel emotionally tied to you again after she sleeps with you. It"s how all women work."
"Okay, first of all, when did you become knowledgeable about women? And second, if you truly believe what you say, why is Rainey immune?" Wolfe asked him.
Baker looked truly worried as he considered Wolfe"s words. He remained silent.
I shook my head at the two of them. "Can we talk about Mallory yet?"
"Sheesh, what a girl you are," Baker teased.
Wolfe laughed.
"Yeah, well, it"s not like I"m getting anywhere with her," I mumbled.
"Did you sleep with her?" Wolfe asked.
I didn"t answer but the look I gave them told them the truth.
"Way to go!" Baker raised his hand for a high five. I glared at him and his hand went down. "So you"re already on the path of making her emotionally attached."
"I don"t understand you, Baker. Why would you give advice about getting a woman emotionally attached when you clearly have no intentions of evoking an attachment in your own relationship?" I asked him.
"Women are supposed to fall in love with us. It"s the way of the world," he said with authority.
"So women are supposed to fall in love with us and we"re supposed to, what? Toss them aside?" Wolfe asked.
Baker flashed a grin. "Exactly."
"No way. I only want one woman. I agreed to be her husband forever and I will be. I just have to figure out how to make her mine again," Wolfe said, more to himself than to us.
"s.e.x. I"m telling you," Baker started.
"Shut up, Baker," Wolfe and I said at the same time, which caused another round of laughter.
We spent the rest of the day discussing our women troubles, since we were all in the same boat. The only difference was that Baker was the only one happy in his boat. I envied him.
SEVENTEEN.
Mallory.
After the service reception, I didn"t see Luke. It wasn"t on purpose, though I"m sure I would have tried if I had been capable of leaving the house. But I wasn"t. I sat in the house for five days. Rainey and Gabby visited me every day, but even their visits were fewer and fewer, as they couldn"t stand to be around me.
I knew I wasn"t fit for company, but I also knew they worried about me doing something stupid. And although I would never admit it aloud, I had thought about that something stupid. Just end it and be rid of the pain of losing my dad. But in the end, I was a coward. I didn"t have the guts to make it happen. Rainey called the doctor for me and he made a house call. He tried to engage me in conversation, but it just didn"t happen. I was inconsolable.
Dad"s death had turned me into this hollow sh.e.l.l of a woman. I couldn"t feel, couldn"t express emotion-I was numb. The worst part was, I could see myself the way everyone else did-the depression, the denial-but I wasn"t just mourning the death of my father. I"d repeated history and given up on Luke. I knew we could easily start a life here in Casper and be happy.
But why did I have to be the one to sacrifice what I wanted? Why was it my fault he didn"t want to move to the city? And so, I mourned our relationship alongside the death of my father. Even Dad had thought Luke and I were meant to be. And for a while, so did I. But we weren"t.
It was the day of the reading of Dad"s will. I would be driving back to Boston tomorrow morning. I"d managed to call my roommates and beg them to give me my room back. They agreed and said they hadn"t even found someone to replace me yet. My job was a little more difficult, but after pulling some strings, my boss managed to get me a position at least somewhat similar to the one I"d had.
So I was set. I packed my duffel, leaving out an outfit for me to wear tomorrow on the drive back to the city and loaded it into the car. I drove to the lawyer"s office and met Luke in the lobby. He looked amazing in jeans and a polo shirt paired with work boots. It was as close to dressing up as he got. I smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. It was a goodbye smile.
"Mallory," he said in greeting.
He tipped his head at me and the receptionist looked up.
"Miss Wells. Now that you"re here, we can do the reading," she said as she led us into a small conference room. "Mr. Jamison will be right in."
I sat in the chair furthest from the door and Luke took the one next to me. The only other chair was the single one across the table, which was obviously designated for the lawyer. I kept my eyes straight ahead and my mouth shut. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him turn to me and open and close his mouth several times. He couldn"t seem to find the right words. We were both saved when the lawyer came in and sat in front of us.
"Miss Wells, Mr. Bates. I"m so glad you could meet me today. Mallory, I believe your father explained the distribution of his estate." He looked at me.
"Yes, sir, he did. I would like to put the house up for sale immediately," I explained.
"Of course. I will put you in contact with a real estate agent as soon as possible. Mr. Bates, did Mr. Wells explain what he was bequeathing to you?" Jamison glanced at Luke. When Luke shook his head, Jamison continued. "Mr. Wells is leaving you his lake house in Greenville-"
"What? He"s leaving me the lake house? Did you know about this?"
He gave me a furious look. I nodded.
He was speechless. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly as he searched for the right words. I would have smiled at the comical expression on his face if I wasn"t so afraid of feeling anything at all for him. He finally turned back to the lawyer.
"Is that all?" he whispered as if he was afraid of the answer.
"No, sir. Mr. Wells is also leaving you ten thousand dollars cash. It won"t be payable until the life insurance company pays Mallory, but the money is set aside for you," Jamison said.
Luke looked like he was going to be sick. But he didn"t say anything. "There"s only one other thing Joe asked me to give each of you," he said as he pulled two envelopes from the file folder on the desk. He handed one to each of us.
"What"s this?" Luke asked.
"Joe wrote a letter to the two of you and he wanted them given to you upon his death. He only gave them to me the week before he died, so I think they are his final goodbyes," Jamison said.
"Thank you, Mr. Jamison."
I shook his hand and left the room. I would not break down in front of Luke. I walked slowly out of the office to my car. Luke didn"t follow me out right away. I sat in my car, holding the letter-Dad"s last words from the grave. I gulped. I sat in my car, afraid to open the letter. I was afraid that whatever he"d written to me would change my mind about moving back to Boston. I wasn"t prepared for that, but I had to know what he had to say. I ripped open the envelope and pulled out his hand-written letter.
My Dear Mallory Anne, Never was a father more proud of his daughter than I am of you. You have grown into an amazing woman, a strong, successful, and stubborn woman. That"s what I love about you. And since you"re reading this after my death, I get the last word. For once.
You cannot run away from your life. I learned that the hard way with your mother and trust me, you don"t want to learn it the hard way. By now, I figured you"re all set to move back to Boston. Bags are packed, car loaded up? You"re nothing if not predictable, baby girl. But this isn"t about me telling you not to go.
This letter is to let you know how much I love you and that no matter what choice you make, I will always love you. I will always be proud of you. No woman has ever brought as much light into my life as you. And someday, you"ll bring that precious light into another man"s life. I"m not saying it will be Luke, or even that it should be, but I am asking you for only one thing...
Trust your heart.
All my love, Dad.
I managed to drive home after the tears settled and I wasn"t surprised one bit to find Rainey and Gabby waiting for me. They were already comfortable in the house with a cup of coffee from Irene, who had moved in, temporarily. I wanted to give her the house, but she refused when I discussed it with her. She said she would stay until it sold so that it stayed clean and I didn"t have to deal with showing it to interested people. She said she would take care of everything. I had no doubt that she would.
"Mallory, how did it go?" Rainey asked me the second I walked through the door.
She didn"t look like she expected an answer, though, and I guess that was my fault. I hadn"t spoken much to them the last few days. But now that I was resolved to go back to Boston, I was a bit more talkative.
"About as I expected. Dad and I discussed the distribution of his estate before he pa.s.sed. I wasn"t surprised by the meeting," I told her.
I didn"t mention my shock at having a letter given to me following Dad"s death. Or the contents of that letter. Rainey and Gabby both looked shocked to hear me reply in full sentences. They were used to one-word answers from me all week.
"I"m glad to hear it," Irene said from the kitchen.
She never missed a beat. After a few minutes, the shock wore off and my friends were able to actually have a conversation with me. I sat in my favorite chair and Irene brought me a cup of coffee.
"So what"s next?" Gabby asked.
"Well, I"m going to put the house up for sale and move back to Boston in the morning," I explained. Gabby"s eyes widened but Rainey looked away. "I know it"s sudden, but I need to get back to my life."
"Of course," Rainey said.
She still wouldn"t look at me and I got the impression she was fighting tears. I still hadn"t figured out what was wrong with her-she"d been edgy and nerved up since her return home.
"Rainey, don"t do this," I begged.
She was going to make a scene and I didn"t need more guilt. Dad"s letter hadn"t changed my mind about my decision, either. The fact that I was so predictable probably meant I was on the right track. I needed to get away.
"Don"t do what, Mal? Don"t care that you"re leaving and we only just got you back? Because I can"t do it. I care. I want you to stay," she whispered.
She finally looked at me and I saw the tears welling in her eyes. I took a steadying breath.
"I know, Rain, I know. But this hasn"t exactly been easy for me. Dealing with my dad and Luke and then Dad"s death. It"s been a rough couple of weeks," I protested. I had good reasons to leave. I needed her to understand them.
"Oh yeah, so rough. You got to spend the last few days with your dad and have a conversation with him. Mine died in a car accident three weeks after I moved to LA. No goodbyes there. The man who loves you only wants you to be happy, even if it"s not with him, you poor thing. Run away to Boston, Mallory. Just like you did after high school," she sneered, and tore out of the house with Gabby chasing her.
I sat there, stunned. When she put it in black and white like that, the right choice seemed obvious. But this wasn"t a black and white situation. There were so many variables and I actually wasn"t sure I was making the right choice. But I had to make a choice, right or wrong. No matter which choice I made, there were going to be people in my life who weren"t happy with my decision.
Her pain cut to my heart. She must feel like I was leaving her instead of this town and Luke. It was true, even though I didn"t want to see it. I was leaving her, Gabby, all of my small town friends, and the people who had rallied around me after my dad"s death. I was the one turning my back on them.
Gabby came back into the house a few minutes after Rainey drove away. She sat across from me and looked into my eyes. I felt no judgment from her, though.
"What are you doing, Mal?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you running away? Everyone knows you"re going through a lot right now. Why not take the summer, like you planned and then decide what you"re going to do? You can make an informed decision," she said.
"I am informed," I protested. The longer I stayed here, the more I was afraid I would want to stay. I didn"t want to want to stay. Which meant I needed to get away. Now.
"No, you"re not. There are things you don"t understand about Luke. About Rainey. There are things going on that you just don"t know about," she said.
I sat forward and rested my elbows on my knees. "Then tell me. Tell me what"s going on with Rainey," I pleaded. I knew there was something going on.
"It"s not my place," she whispered with a sigh. "Rainey will tell you when she"s ready. Luke-I should think his issues are obvious. But apparently not, so I will point it out. He"s in love with you, Mallory. Not like he was when you guys were kids. Though I"m not sure he ever really got over you back then. But since you"ve been back, he"s fallen for you all over again."
I sat back in the chair with a gasp. It was a knee jerk reaction. I"d been told by so many people that Luke still had feelings for me, but I never imagined he was in love with me. It didn"t seem possible. He was too stubborn to fall back in love with me. But I knew I was wrong. I"d fallen for him all over again in the past few weeks. It made sense he"d fallen for me, too.