"For your information, I"ve made arrangements to have a hospice nurse come to the house to take care of whatever I can"t do, and I was all but forced to go out last night. I don"t need you to tell me what to do with my life. I"m staying with my dad until the end." I was proud my voice didn"t falter.
"You"re such a spoiled rotten brat, Mallory. If you cared, even once, for someone besides yourself, you would let Joe die in peace," he barked.
I was floored. Did he really think so little of me? I wondered.
"Why don"t you run back to Boston and your little boyfriend, who you obviously miss so much?"
I demanded an answer. "What are you talking about?"
"I"m talking about Jason."
Oh, I thought. My silence was Luke"s undoing.
"The sooner you leave, the better the whole town will be."
Wait as second, how did Luke know about Jason? I wondered. Before I had a chance to question him about it, he ducked into Dad"s room to say goodbye, then came back out and rushed down the hall. I stood there, dumbfounded for a full minute before I went back into Dad"s room. I would ponder about how Luke had any idea who Jason was later. For now, I needed to get Dad home.
"Ready to go, Dad?" I asked with forced perkiness.
He was sitting up in bed with his legs swung over the side, his feet resting comfortably on the floor. He looked tired.
"I am more than ready." He smiled, despite his fatigue.
He looked so ragged and fragile. Luke"s words about Dad"s need for full-time care a.s.saulted me. "Your dad is going to need intensive, non-stop care." I didn"t want to think about his words no matter how true they might be, but they were implanted in my head and I couldn"t shake them. Dad was going to need a lot of attention. Was I really ready to give him the kind of care he needed?
"So how was the bar last night, Mal?" Dad asked.
His lopsided grin had me smiling in response. "Word gets around fast, huh?" I laughed.
"Luke filled me in," he admitted.
Luke told my dad about last night? I wondered how much information he divulged.
"He likes to run his mouth," I muttered.
"Don"t judge him too harshly. He also told me you were seeing someone named Jason?"
So Luke told my dad about Jay. I did not want to have this conversation.
"It"s no big thing, Dad. He"s just a guy I dated a while back," I explained.
"Well, is it serious?"
I sighed. "No, Dad. It"s over. We broke up."
Jason wasn"t a bad guy. He was probably a perfect guy for someone, but there just hadn"t been any spark outside of the bedroom. He was a great lover, but there wasn"t much else between us. He wasn"t dumb, but holding any kind of sophisticated conversation seemed to drain him. He had a smokin" bod, though. We stayed together for several weeks until we both realized it wasn"t going to work. We kept up our booty calls for a few more weeks, but eventually I got tired of mindless s.e.x and no emotions.
I broke it off and we even managed to remain friends. I hooked him up with one of my roommates and the two were very happy together. I still had s.e.x dreams about him occasionally though, which made for an awkward encounter at breakfast when he slept over with my roomie.
"Humph," Dad grunted. "I"d like to have grandkids, you know."
I coughed to cover my repulsion. At twenty-one, I wasn"t ready for kids. h.e.l.l, I wasn"t even ready for a long-term, committed relationship. I wanted to live a little. There was also the fact that Dad would probably be gone before the end of the summer, which meant even if I got preggo right now, he wouldn"t be able to meet his grandchildren. Maybe he was in denial about going home to die.
Rainey scolded him. "Joe! Don"t mess with her like that."
When he laughed, I realized he"d been kidding, but the thought still scared the c.r.a.p out of me. I wasn"t sure I wanted children ever, let alone right now. Good thing it was a joke. I made a sound I hoped sounded like a laugh but didn"t say anything else.
The doctor came in then and gave Dad his discharge paperwork. He was free to go, but I had to call and check-in every other day to track his progress. Or rather, his digress. He was only going to get worse. The doctor didn"t say it, but we all knew he was going home to die and the next time he came into the hospital would be in a heavy black bag. It was a depressing thought.
But I figured I had some time. I wanted to get close to him again, make up for time lost. If he made it until the end of the summer, I would have plenty of time to say my goodbye. And make it count.
EIGHT.
Luke.
I couldn"t keep my d.a.m.n mouth shut. I had to bring up Jason. Whoever he was, he wasn"t some platonic friend. He was her lover. And here I"d been, thinking we could get back together while she was planning her next escapade with her Boston beau. I felt like an idiot.
It had been bad timing on my part to run into her at the hospital. I"d known I should have gotten out of there before she showed up with Rainey. But then she walked in and my brain stopped functioning. I wanted to rub it in her face that I knew about Jason. I might not have known much, but I did know something. So I made sure to bring it up.
It probably would be better if she left town, but not for anyone but myself. As long as she was here, I wouldn"t be able to stay away, no matter what she demanded or how much I thought I should. I was a fiend for her; her very presence brought me happiness and feelings of contentment. Bah, I was such a girl. Baker would never let me live it down if I admitted my addiction to Mallory aloud.
I ripped past the nurse"s station and heard Carrie call out to me.
"Luke!"
She chased me halfway down the hall before I stopped. I wanted to be free of this place and all the emotions Mallory stirred up in me.
"What is it, Carrie?" I asked impatiently. I didn"t mean to be rude, but I was going to explode and I wanted to be away from anyone who might get in the way.
"I just wanted to let you know I have no hard feelings," she said.
Her eyes told a different story, though, one of sadness and rejection.
"Don"t lie, Carrie. At least be honest with yourself," I spat.
My inner a.s.shole was coming out and I needed to get out of there. Fast.
"You don"t need to be a jerk," she replied.
I stepped forward and she retreated until her back pressed against the wall of the hallway.
"I am a jerk, Carrie," I whispered.
She looked up at me with her pretty brown eyes and I willed myself to feel something, anything, for her. She wasn"t a bad person; she didn"t deserve to be treated the way I treated her. She deserved someone who wasn"t hung up on someone else.
"You aren"t, Luke. I know you"ve still got feelings for her," she whispered.
Her eyes were nearing tears and I felt the guilt seep into my bones. I would never be able to atone for doing this to her.
"You don"t know s.h.i.t," I growled.
It was bad enough I had admitted to myself I was still half in-love with Mallory, but for Carrie to be able to see it bugged me to no end. I spun around and bolted out of the hospital.
I jumped into my truck, slammed the door closed and peeled out of the parking lot as fast as I could. I didn"t care about drawing attention to myself in this gossip-loving town. I just needed to escape.
With no place in mind, I made my way north and continued on for hours. My cell rang several times but I ignored it. I needed to be alone. Once I was out of Casper, I headed up the coast toward the Rockville Lighthouse. The rocky sh.o.r.eline would help me clear my head.
I maneuvered my way down the steep dirt road and stopped in the tiny parking lot. I walked to the water"s edge and picked up a few flat rocks to skim across the surface.
It felt like things were about to change. Joe was going to die. Mallory would go back to Boston. And I would be alone. Again. Only this time, I wouldn"t have Joe to guide me and steer me away from disaster. How could I have let this happen again? As if falling in love with Mallory Wells wasn"t bad enough the first time around, I had to go and do it twice, and hurt the people around me in the process.
Carrie was the one I felt worst about. She hadn"t done anything wrong but I had just treated her like nothing. She knew my past, of course, how hung up on Mallory I"d been. It had taken months to get her to go out with me, and I was only so persistent because Joe insisted I needed to move on. I didn"t disagree with him, but Carrie was probably a poor choice. I compared every aspect of our short relationship to the one I had with Mallory. Carrie didn"t measure up.
Carrie and I were doomed before we ever even got started because of my Mallory obsession. I just couldn"t get over the leggy blonde with a flippant att.i.tude and a smart remark for everything. Mallory and I were no good for each other, though. I knew that. She knew it, too. But there was something that pulled me to her, something inexplicably frightening.
I skipped several rocks over the water and watched them sink, much like my heart. I had to toughen up if I was going to survive the summer. Mallory wasn"t going to leave until her dad was gone, which meant I would be forced to see her, at least in pa.s.sing, at places like the grocery store or the post office. I would have to be stronger than I"d been lately. It wasn"t impossible. Highly unlikely? Oh yeah. But not impossible.
I tossed out the last rock in my hand and before it could sink, I turned away from the ocean with a new resolve. I would ignore Mallory as best I could for the remainder of her time here. I would be polite when the situation called for it, but I wasn"t about to engage her in a conversation. I could do it. I knew I could.
I hopped in my truck with a better outlook on Mallory and the situation as a whole. I drove back to Casper and went to my apartment. I wasn"t surprised to see Baker"s truck in my driveway.
He leaned against the door, his arms folded across his chest. I parked and nodded to him.
"What the h.e.l.l happened at the hospital?" he asked.
"Good news travels fast, huh?" I remarked. Small towns were gossip h.e.l.l.
"Well, when you took off out of the parking like a bat out of h.e.l.l, it"s hard for people not to talk. Want to talk about it?" He looked sincere, but I wasn"t buying it.
"Who called you?" I knew someone would have put him up to chasing me down.
He smirked. "Carrie. Joe. Rainey. Gabby. Take your pick. My phone has been ringing off the hook. Although I have absolutely no idea how Gabby got involved, since she wasn"t there."
Mallory hadn"t called him. I sighed. Stay strong, I told myself.
"Well, here I am, fine and unharmed." I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. It didn"t work as well as I hoped.
"Yeah, you"re as fine as a mad bull. So what"s with the a.s.shole routine? Everyone knows I"m the resident a.s.shole of Casper." He joked.
"It wasn"t on purpose. I just got p.i.s.sed at something Mallory said the other night-"
"Oh! Mallory. Now it all makes sense. So what did she say?"
His inquisition p.i.s.sed me off.
"What"s with the twenty questions? I don"t want to talk about it, Baker. Leave it alone," I said, hoping he would take the hint.
"Not a chance. Spill it," he said as I went into my apartment building.
He followed me in and took a seat on my couch. He wasn"t going anywhere until his curiosity was satisfied.
I sighed. "When I brought her home last night, she was drunk and half-asleep in her bed and she invited me into her bed."
"Hot d.a.m.n! Why didn"t you tell me this last night? Did you get some?" he asked.
Typical Baker, I thought.
"No! I thought she was talking to me, but then she said the name of some other guy, who was definitely not me. Probably some douche from Boston," I explained.
"Ahh." Baker finally understood. "So she"s seeing someone in Boston, then?"
"I guess," I mumbled. "I don"t really know. It"s not like Mal and I have been overly friendly since she got back."
"That"s true. Want me to have Rainey do some fishing?"
"I thought you were on Rainey"s s.h.i.t list?"
He grinned. "Well, she must have forgiven me, since she called me to check in on you."
"You know, she"s a big time LA screenwriter, Baker. She"s not interested in some small town hillbilly." I laughed at his hurt look.
"I could say the same to you about Mallory except she"s working at the bank." He raised his brow at me and I knew he was right.
"We"re hopeless, you know that?"
He laughed. "Yeah, the only way we could be any worse was if we were hanging out with Gabby"s ex, and he was complaining, too."
"Have you ever met Wolfe?" I asked.
"No, I don"t think so. He"s not from here, is he?"
"He"s from Florida, I think. He spent summers here as a kid, but he"s a few years older than us, so that"s probably why you don"t remember him. He moved here permanently when he started dating Gabby. I met him a few times and didn"t think he was a bad guy. I wonder what happened with those two?"
"Gabby is nuts. That"s what happened to them," he said.
"Don"t be an a.s.s. Every woman is crazy and that"s a fact."
"Ain"t that the truth? We should call him up and have him join our "Love struck without a chance" support group."
"We should. I heard he"s still living here until after the divorce is final to make it easier on Gabby," I said.