I will my voice to come out balanced. "I"ll be fine. It doesn"t really hurt anymore."
He nods, but he doesn"t move away, sketching his thumb back and forth below my eye. I"m not sure what he"s doing, but his silence is making me nervous.
I peek up at him, trying to read his expression. He looks lost in thought, staring off into empty s.p.a.ce. I study him-the way his brown hair sticks up chaotically, the scars on his skin.
Before I even realize what I"m doing, I reach up and touch a scar just above his brow. His skin feels so soft, despite the scars.
"How did you get this?" I ask.
He blinks from his daze. "What?"
I graze the scar with my fingertip. "This scar, how did you get it?"
He seems thrown off by what I"m doing, so I decide to pull away, worried touching him is inappropriate. But he captures my hand, brings my palm back to his brow, and moves my finger over the prominent scar.
"I got this one during self-defense practice after Ryder knocked his elbow into my face," he explains. "He hit me so hard the skin split open."
"Ryder did that to you?"
"He didn"t do it on purpose. He was only following our instructor"s directions. It was my fault; I didn"t block him properly." He brings my hand down to a thin scar on the bottom of his chin. "And this one was from a warden."
"That"s horrible. How did it happen?"
"It was during a rescue mission," he answers with reluctance. "We ran into a bunch of them when we were trying to get a group of Nameless out of the channels, and one of the wardens managed to cut me with a knife."
I think about all the times a warden took their knife and sliced the blade across my skin. It seems like ages ago when I was trapped underground. How did time go from moving painfully slow to zipping by startlingly fast?
"You made it out, though," I say. "You must be really strong."
"Not strong enough to get all the Nameless out alive." Guilt floods his eyes, like invisible, unseen scars, and he looks away from me.
My heart aches for him, for all the Nameless who didn"t make it out, for the ones still trapped in the channels. "But you got some of them out alive. Think about all the people you"ve helped."
His throat muscles move as he swallows. "Yeah, I know. I just hate that I can"t save them all."
"Me, too." I remind myself to breathe as memories of being imprisoned crash over me. "Whenever I heard someone crying in the cells, I felt horrible that I couldn"t help them. I tried to escape a few times, but I never made it very far."
"You"re a complete mystery, Allura." He shakes his head, looking more befuddled. "You go against everything I know about the Nameless. The way you act, the way you interact, how well you adapt. You"re an anomaly."
"I ..." I"m unsure how to respond. Is that a bad thing?
"It"s good that you"re different. You"re stronger. Braver. I"ve seen so many give up ..." A breath eases from his lips. "I just want to make sure I get you back to the station safely and that you ... you end up okay."
"I"m sure you will." I offer him a smile, hoping to reduce some of his worry.
His lips lift into a faint grin, but he promptly puts on a serious expression. "Good. I"m glad we"re on the same page."
His exaggerated seriousness causes a giggle to sputter from my lips.
He c.o.c.ks a brow. "What"s so funny?"
"Sorry." I bite down on my lip, feeling a bit ridiculous for laughing over something that probably wasn"t supposed to be funny. "It just looked like you were trying so hard to be serious, and I thought it was funny. I don"t know why."
"You sound just like Ryder. He"s always laughing at me whenever I"m trying to give a serious lecture," he admits with a grimace. "He says, one day, my face is going to get stuck in a permanent scowl."
"That doesn"t sound very good."
"No, it doesn"t." A hesitant, contemplative look crosses his face. "When we get back to the station, I think you should stay with us-"
"All clear," Ryder calls out from above. "Get your a.s.ses up here."
Sighing, Reece lets go of my hand. "Okay, we"re headed up," he shouts back then glances at me. "Are you going to be okay getting up there?"
I eye the cliff, measuring the lengthy distance from the bottom to the cave Ryder is standing in front of. "I think so ..." I chew on my thumbnail. "It doesn"t look as steep as the one we climbed down."
"It"s not nearly that bad. We should be able to run up it if we keep a decent pace." Reece places a hand on the small of my back and inches me forward. "I"ll stay behind you just in case you slip."
I nod, adjust my backpack, and then approach the cliff. I pick up momentum the closer I get, knowing if I slow down, I"ll back out. When I reach bottom, I surge upward. Even with the clunky traction of my boots, I slip more than a few times, but like he promised, Reece stays behind me and makes sure I don"t fall. Before I know it, I"ve reached Ryder and the cave.
As I turn and look back at the ground below, a strange sense of pride squeezes at my chest. I made it all the way up by myself.
Ryder shares my feeling, grinning proudly as he slings an arm around my shoulder. "She"s a natural, Reece. She picks up everything so quickly. I"m telling you, with a little bit of-"
"We"re not talking about this right now," Reece says, hoisting himself up the last of the cliff. Brushing the dirt off his cargo pants, he stands beside us and gazes down at the cliffs and the trails that make up the fault line. "I think Blaise pulled it off. I don"t see any sign of him or the Forsaken anywhere."
"Blaise is always a good decoy, just as long as it doesn"t require him to interact with anyone." Ryder sneaks a smile in my direction. "He has some serious social issues."
"That"s not his fault. You of all people should know that." Reece shields his eyes from the sunlight with his hand. "The sun won"t set for at least three or four hours. I think we should get something to eat and get some rest before we head out. I"ll take first watch if you want to fix us some food."
"Sounds like a plan." Ryder heads for the cave with his arm around me. "What sounds good for lunch?" he asks. "I"ve got beans and jerky. Or beans and jerky. Or wait." He taps his finger against his lips. "Beans and jerky."
I giggle. "How about beans and jerky?"
"You have the most beautiful smile." A grin breaks across his face, and my cheeks heat from the compliment. He calls over his shoulder, "Don"t you think so, Reece?"
"Yeah, she does," Reece answers distractedly. "And don"t just feed her beans and jerky. She just got out of the channels. She needs more than that."
"That"s all I have." Ryder stops just shy of entering the cave. "They"re a good source of protein."
"I know that, but she also needs some fruits and vegetables," Reece says. "I think I might have a couple of cans of pears and corn in my bag. Open those and have her eat them."
"Yes, boss," Ryder jokes then steps into the cave, pulling me along with him.
I squint against the darkness, taking a look around.
"It"s empty," Ryder promises. "I checked it out all the way to the back."
"It doesn"t go all the way through?" I ask, feeling smothered by the darkness.
He shakes his head. "Some do, though."
"Where do they lead?"
He shrugs. "I have no idea."
"You"ve never tried to find out?"
"No. And I really don"t want to. The caves ... They"re not my favorite place."
My gaze travels along the domed ceiling and rock walls. "Because of the curse?"
"The curse is just a legend." But he seems less convinced than he did when we were outside.
I summon a breath to alleviate some of my anxiety, but the foul stench of rotten eggs nips at my nostrils, and I nearly gag. "What"s that smell?"
"Sulfur." Ryder slips off his bag and heads deeper into the cave.
My eyes water against the unpleasant odor, and I pinch my nose as I endeavor farther into the cave. I keep expecting something bad to happen, like the roof to cave in or a wild animal to appear.
"Why does it smell like sulfur?" I wonder as he kneels down on the ground.
He doesn"t answer, unzipping his bag and taking out a can of beans. "I wish I could heat these up for you, but building a fire would probably lead the Forsaken straight to us."
"I"m fine with eating them cold." I sigh, sit down on the ground beside him, and crisscross my legs. I"m trying not to get frustrated that Ryder won"t straightforwardly answer my questions, but I really do want to know what"s going on.
Blaise once told me that Reece and Ryder sugarcoat the truth. I wish Blaise were here now. He would probably tell me about the curse and why the cave reeks.
"Can you check if there"s a lantern in your bag?" Ryder asks, pulling out an oddly shaped silver tool from his backpack.
I shuck off my bag and search for a lantern. "There"s not one in here. Sorry."
"That"s okay. Reece probably has one." He sits down in the dirt, stretches out his legs, and balances the can of beans on his lap. Using the silver tool, he cuts the lid off then dips a spoon inside. He takes a bite of the beans before handing me the can and the spoon. "Eat up while I go get Reece"s bag." He starts to stand up, but pauses. "What"s that look for?"
I stir the beans. "What look?"
"You look like you"re upset."
"I"m fine." I scoop up a spoonful of beans and stuff them into my mouth. "I think I"m just hungry."
"No, that"s not it." He leans closer to me. "Come on, Allura, please tell me what"s wrong, or I won"t be able to relax."
I sigh, more at myself for stressing him out. Why couldn"t I just let it go? He"s just trying to protect me from being scared.
"It"s nothing. I just wish I knew more about this curse and why the rocks smell like sulfur in here." I nibble on a bite of beans. "You seem more unsettled in here than you were outside, and I"d like to know why, even if I may get scared. I"d rather be scared than confused."
Heaving a sigh, he sits back down and opens his arms. "Come here."
I pause mid-bite. "Huh?"
His lips quirk. "I promise I won"t bite. I just want you to sit on my lap."
"Oh." My heart skips a beat, which seems like such an odd reaction after everything that has happened. All three of the guys have carried me at one time or another, so sitting on Ryder"s lap shouldn"t be a big deal. Still, as I crawl over to him and sit down, I nearly choke on my ragged breaths.
"We should sit like this all the time," he says, urging me to lean against him.
"That"d be a little hard to do while we"re walking," I retort nervously.
He chuckles, sweeping my hair to the side. Then he grows solemn.
"You really want to know about these caves and the curses?"
"I really do." I nod. "I know you guys think I"ll get scared, and I probably will, but everything out here is scary. And I"ve spent so much time never knowing what"s going on ... It"s nice to have the option."
His expression wavers between worry and pity. "I didn"t think about it like that ... I should"ve, though. Back when I lived on the docks, I didn"t get to make my own choices. And everyone was so dishonest. They kept secrets from each other, and half the people lied, cheated, and stole. And when we disobeyed ..." He trails off, gulping.
"Did they ...? Did someone hurt you when you did something bad?"
He clears his throat, collecting himself. "It doesn"t matter. It was a long time ago. And I escaped." He rests his chin on my shoulder. "I need you to promise me one thing before I tell you about the curse."
I want to talk to him more about what happened on the docks, but I think better of it. If he doesn"t want to talk about it, I shouldn"t force him.
"Promise me that no matter what, you won"t go running out of this cave."
"Why would I do that?"
His breath feathers against my ear. "Because after I tell you, you"re going to be so d.a.m.n scared you"re going to want to run as far away from here as you can."
Chapter Three.
Curse of the Caves "Still want to hear about it?" he asks after a minute of silence ticks by.
I force down the lump wedged in my throat and nod, even though I"m not certain I still do. Ryder"s clearly worried, and my anxious mind is coming up with all sorts of scenarios of what could be so frightening about these caves.
"Okay." Disappointment weighs in his tone. "But if at any time you want me to stop talking, just say so." He waits for me to nod before continuing. "I"m not sure how the legend first started, but the story goes that, when the Grim first showed up in our world, a lot of people took to hiding in these caves. From what I understand, the fault line runs along nearly half of the land, and caves cover the hills. Some of them run so deep into the hills that you can get lost for days in them."
My gaze wanders to the back of the cave. "Is that why you picked one that has a dead end? So we wouldn"t wander off and get lost?"
He slips an arm around my waist. "That and so I won"t have to worry about someone or ... something showing up unexpectedly."
"Oh." I twist back around and relax against his chest. "Is that why everyone"s so afraid of the caves-because they worry they"ll get lost?"
"That"s only part of the reason. There"s way more to it than that."