"Nathaniel?" I whispered, knowing that I should call 911, but unable to leave his side. Someone in the neighborhood would call it in. They"d have heard the gunshots, and I just couldn"t bring myself to leave Nathaniel"s side in case he didn"t make it. If he slipped away from me while I was on the phone, I would never forgive myself. His head moved, turned to face me, found my lips with his b.l.o.o.d.y ones and kissed me. All the while he kept his eyes closed and his hand over the wound on his chest.
"Theresa," he whispered to me as tears rolled down my cheeks and landed on his chest, his perfect, beautiful, b.l.o.o.d.y chest. "Can I tell you another secret?"
"Yes," I whispered back, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice. Nathaniel"s face was pale, too pale, and he was shaking violently, like he was cold. I brushed my hands down his face and ran my fingers through his hair while I waited for what could very well be his last words.
"Don"t make fun of me, but I ... " He paused to catch his breath. "I believe in love at first sight."
"Do you now?" I asked with the world"s fakest laugh.
"I do," he whispered as he leaned forward just enough so that he could whisper in my ear. "I fell in love with you the first moment I laid eyes on you." In the distance, I could hear the sound of sirens, but Nathaniel couldn"t. His chest was still moving, but his head was drooping to the side, and his eyelids were fluttering like runaway b.u.t.terflies. I folded myself against his side and waited for the ambulance, knowing that if he died, my last chance at happiness would die along with him.
EPILOGUE.
"Are you coming?" Jamie asked as she stood outside my bedroom door. She had on a thick, red coat with black fur around the hood and on the edges of the sleeves. It looked good on her, not so good on me.
"Do we have to wear matching coats? Aren"t we a little old for that?" I asked as I compared her made-up face to my own. I"d chosen to go au naturel. It"d been five years since he"d died, but I wasn"t beyond getting a little teary. I mean, I was lucky that I wasn"t traumatized beyond belief.
"Speak for yourself," she said as she turned on her heel and started out the bedroom door and into the hallway. Immediately, shouts began to emanate from the living room, something about how grape soda doesn"t go well with white sofas. I didn"t want to know. I looked at myself in the mirror, locked gazes with the Theresa McMaster from five years ago and tried to see if I had changed. I had. There was no doubt about it, and in my opinion, it was for the better. I was stronger now, more sure of who I was and who I wanted to become. I was growing and changing everyday, finding new reasons to smile, leaving behind regrets and indecision.
"Do we really have to do this?" Jamie asked as she came back in the room and found me staring at myself. "I mean, we can go to the park without visiting his grave, you know."
"I know," I said as I plucked at the edges of the red coat and wondered if I should wear black, but then, I wasn"t in mourning, I was just paying my respects to a man I had once thought I loved. "But this is the right thing to do. I want to visit him."
"You always get all emotional," she said, hands on her hips and a frown on her face. "Are you going to be okay this time?"
"I"ll be fine," I said thinking of the gunshots and the blood. "It was a long time ago. I"m okay now, really."
"You better be," she said. "Because if you"re lying to me, I"m going to kick your a.s.s."
I marched up the cement steps with Rhea dragging her feet behind me, groaning.
"This is f.u.c.king stupid," she said, and I couldn"t help but remember all of Jamie"s teasing over the years. Teenagers really were monsters from h.e.l.l. "I didn"t even the know the guy." Jamie smacked Rhea in the back of the head with her purse.
"Quiet. You did, too, and he was important to your mother." She paused. "Well, for a short while anyway." She paused and glanced over her shoulder at her sons, her husband, and the baby daughter clutched in his arms and shook her head. "I can"t wait till Alice is a fourteen year old brat." Rhea rolled her eyes and stuffed her earbuds in her ears. Loud music accompanied the rest of our climb until we were standing at the foot of a stone obelisk.
It was a lonely place to be, even with the sun shining bright and cheerful in the sky and the birds singing from every available tree in the park. I laid a bouquet of pink carnations on the gra.s.s in front of the headstone and tried to smile.
"I"m sorry you died because of me," I said while the others milled around behind me, desperate to get out of this place of death and start our hike. Only Jamie stood beside me, one hand on my shoulder for support while I wondered what might"ve happened if things had been different. Tears p.r.i.c.ked my eyes and I blinked them away.
"Don"t go there," Jamie said, and I nodded. There was no reason to. Fate had intervened, thrust her wicked hand into my life and things had turned out all the better for it.
"Am I running late?" a voice asked from beside me, and I turned with a smile to find my husband with a little hand clutched in each of his.
"Nope," I said. "You"re right on time." I kissed my fingertips and placed them on Gary Harper"s grave. I"d killed a man, yes, but I"d had no other choice. He"d threatened me, and it had put Nathaniel"s life at risk. That was unforgivable.
"She was starting to get emotional again," Jamie said in a singsong voice as my boys pulled their hands away from Nathaniel and raced right around me, straight into her arms. Auntie Jamie was their favorite. I"ll admit, I was a little jealous.
"You shouldn"t go there," Nathaniel said as he wrapped his hands gently around my neck and raised my lips to his, soft, tentative, perfect.
"That"s f.u.c.king gross," Rhea said as she scowled and moved away from us. Nathaniel wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his warmth, holding me like the world could fall away, and it wouldn"t matter. He wouldn"t let it take me, not then, not now. I belonged to Nathaniel Sutherland and he belonged to me.
"You don"t have to worry. I"m here. I promise that I"ll always be here." And then he kissed me like he couldn"t get enough, would never get enough. I kissed him back and hoped that he never did.
Never once did he break that promise.
"Never Ross wants to be loved. It"s that simple, but it"s not that easy."
Books by C.M. Stunich.
The Seven Wicked Series.
First.
Second Third Fourth Fifth.
Sixth Seventh.
Houses Novels.
The House of Gray and Graves.
The House of Hands and Hearts and Hair The House of Sticks and Bones.
The Huntswomen Trilogy The Feed The Hunt.
The Throne Indigo Lewis Novels Indigo & Iris.
Indigo & The Colonel Indigo & Lynx Never say Never.
Tasting Never Finding Never.
Keeping Never Stand Alone Novels She Lies Twisted.
h.e.l.l Inc.
DeadBorn Broken Pasts.
About the Author.
C.M. Stunich was raised under a cover of fog in the area known simply as Eureka, CA. A mysterious place, this strange, arboreal land nursed Caitlin"s (yes, that"s her name!) desire to write strange fiction novels about wicked monsters, magical trains, and Nemean Lions (Google it!). She currently enjoys drag queens, having too many cats, and tribal bellydance.
She can be reached at , and loves to hear from her readers. Ms. Stunich also wrote this biography and has no idea why she decided to refer to herself in the third person.
Happy reading and carpe diem!
www.cmstunich.com.
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