I have no choice!
She commanded him in ways no one ever had. Her touch made him weak, and he was helpless before her. Deep inside, he knew he would give her anything she wanted.
And that he could never do.
Nay, once this day was finished, so was their relationship. He must make sure of it.
Brushing his lips against her forehead, Braden allowed himself a moment to absorb the taste and smell of her. He closed his eyes and let those sensations wash over him. He would carry this memory for the rest of his life.
And it would haunt him throughout eternity.
"Good-bye, my love," he whispered.
Chapter 18.
Maggie came awake slowly to the sound of Braden"s gentle snore.
Not quite ready to rise, she snuggled closer against his side, until she recalled poor Connor waiting for her in her room.
Afraid the boy would think she had abandoned him, she quickly got up and dressed.
With a parting look at Braden"s naked, slumbering form draped in furs, she rushed from the room and gathered apples, bread and a cup of milk for Connor.
She knew she should have told Braden about his son last night, but it just hadn"t seemed the time.
Especially not after the way Braden had reacted when she"d asked him about children.
Nay, she would have to wait until he was more open to the possibility. The last thing Connor needed was to know his father hated the very idea of having a child. The boy had been hurt enough; she would add no more pain to his damaged soul.
Still, that voice in her head nagged her to tell Braden about Connor. He had a right to know.
Clasping the food to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, Maggie tried not to think about it lest she cry. And she had promised herself she wouldn"t cry over what was necessary.
Braden would go his own way, and she...
She would care for Connor. The lad would be happy with her. Much happier than he would be with his uncles and father. After all, they were bachelors who had little knowledge of children. What Connor needed most was a mother"s love.
If she couldn"t give her love to Braden, then she would content herself with lavishing it on his child.
Maggie returned to her room just as the boy stirred.
Not fully conscious, Connor cringed from her as she stood over his bed. "I"ll milk the cows," he whimpered, raising his arm to protect his head.
"It"s just me, Connor," she said gently, placing the food and milk on the table. "And there are no cows to be milked."
He put his arm down and blinked as if unable to believe his eyes.
"I brought this for you," she said, handing him a slice of bread.
He ate it so fast, she half feared he would choke on it. "Slow down, lad, it"ll make you sick."
He did, but only for a minute before he tore back into it, then reached for the milk and apples.
Smiling at his enthusiasm, Maggie ruffled his hair. "I want you to know that I have to go meet with the MacDouglas in a little bit, but as soon-"
"Nay," he gasped around a mouthful of apples. He swallowed hard and stared at her with wide, terrified eyes. "You can"t be doing that. He"ll kill you!"
"It"s all right," she soothed, wishing her words could comfort her as well. "He won"t harm me."
"Aye, he will."
"Nay," she rea.s.sured him, hoping it was true. "I can handle my own. But I want you to stay here until I return. Can you do that?"
His greenish brown eyes full of reticence, he nodded. "You will return, won"t you?"
"Aye," she said, hoping it wasn"t a lie.
Reluctantly, she left him and returned to his father. While she walked, she realized today was the day Ewan would free Lochlan. She only hoped Lochlan and her brothers were still safe and whole.
As gently as she could, she shook Braden awake.
"Braden," she whispered, brushing his hair back from his shoulders before she placed a tender kiss right where the tiny hairs covered the nape of his neck. She nipped his flesh with her teeth. " "Tis morning."
Braden groaned and shifted ever so slightly, baring one tawny hip to her eager gaze. "It can"t be morning," he mumbled, "I just went to sleep."
Maggie laughed as she lifted the fur and admired his naked backside. In her mind, she could see him again as he had been last night, unabashed and completely hers, his eyes narrowed on her as she rode him. She could feel his strong hands on her hips urging her on, feel his warm breath on her skin.
Even now her body burned for him.
And right then, it was all she could do to stay focused on the task ahead, as well as on those who waited below for them.
"It is morning," she repeated, "and we have a laird to meet."
Again he groaned before he rolled over, showing her his perfect male body.
"Fine," he said, rubbing his hands over his face. "Let us be about meeting our maker, shall we?"
Her cheeks burned as she saw his erection plainly in the morning light.
Braden laughed as he noticed where her gaze lingered. "What can I say? Even in dreams, you haunt me."
He sat up then and pulled her close. "Care to-"
A sudden pounding on the door interrupted him. "Braden?" Sin called from the other side.
"I"m up," Braden shouted at his brother, then mumbled beneath his breath, "and likely to stay that way if you keep pounding the d.a.m.n door."
"We"re waiting for you," Sin said.
"I"ll meet you downstairs."
Maggie smiled bashfully at him. "They"re waiting."
By his face she could tell Braden barely bit back some sarcastic retort. Grumbling under his breath, he reluctantly left his bed.
Maggie helped him to dress, then hand in hand they went down the stairs.
She knew she should tell him about Connor before they left, but for some reason she couldn"t. The boy had been through enough rejection. She would take him home with her and in a few months or even years, when Braden was more ready for it, she would tell him.
As they reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw the women gathered in the great hall. In spite of the large number of them, it was so quiet, the only sound Maggie could hear was her heart pounding in her chest.
Sin rose from the table where he had been eating and met them just inside the door.
"Ceana is in position," he said. "I made sure she"ll be comfortable for the rest of the day."
"Do you think this will work?" Braden asked his brother.
Sin shrugged. "Why not? I never thought we"d get this far. I guess in another hour we"ll know for certain."
Braden looked at Maggie and tightened his grip on her hand. "Aye, we will."
It was then Maggie saw the uncertainty in his gaze. But it was only there for an instant before he concealed it.
Without another word, he led her from the hall.
Outside the door, Agnes stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for them in the inner bailey.
"Are you ready, my lady?" Braden asked her.
Agnes nodded, her eyes sharp and cunning. "We all are. And G.o.d help the lad if he doesn"t react like he ought. I might be old, but I"m still spry enough to whack his bottom if he shames his upbringing."
Maggie smiled, even though she was terrified from the inside out.
With Braden standing between them, the three of them walked to the gate. Maggie crossed herself and whispered a quiet prayer for success.
Slowly, the women who had been manning the walls wrenched the gate open.
A sudden hush fell on the men as they gaped at the rising gates.
"I"ll be a d.a.m.ned beggar in h.e.l.l," Robby MacDouglas said. His face incredulous, he came forward to meet them at the entrance.
With a disbelieving smile, Robby held his hand out to Braden, who took it and shook it quickly. "How did you do it, man?"
Braden shrugged. "It wasn"t hard."
"The devil you say," Robby said.
Robby met his mother"s glare, then looked about behind them. "Where"s Ceana?"
"She"s gone," his mother said before Braden could deliver the deception they had planned.
Robby took the news like a king who had just found himself without a throne. The smile faded from his lips and the young laird"s face flushed bright red.
Rage descended into his eyes. "What?" Robby roared. "What do you mean, gone? Gone where?"
Agnes put her hands on her hips as she faced her son with atskxng sound. "She couldn"t take any more of your whining about Isobail. And who can blame her? I"m surprised she stayed with you as long as she did."
Robby glared at all three of them as if he couldn"t decide who to cleave in twain first. His anger palpable, every muscle in his body stood taut. "When did she leave?"
"Last night," his mother said. "When I went to wake her this morning, I found this." She handed him the folded piece of vellum that they had prepared the night before.
Robby read it, his hands shaking.
With a fierce curse, he turned to his men. "Search the castle," he ordered them. "I want to make sure this isn"t another one of Ceana"s pranks."
"It"s no prank," his mother said firmly. "She"s left ya sorry hide."
It was then Maggie saw what they had wanted to see. The pain on Robby"s brow, the concern and loss.
Whether he admitted it or not, he cared for his wife.
She smiled.
"Gather the horses," Robby shouted to his men.
"Why?" Braden asked. "If you dinna care for her-"
The MacDouglas"s eyes flared. "Why dinna you stop her?"
"She said you wouldn"t even miss her," Braden answered with the very words Ceana had used to dissuade them from this plan. "She said you had never once seen her, for your eyes were filled with the image of Isobail ingen Kaid."
Robby winced as if he"d been struck. "I want my Ceana back!" he said, his voice ragged and agonized.
"And I won"t stop looking until I find her."
One of the young lads brought a saddled horse to Robby. As he moved to mount, Braden stopped him.
"It"s not necessary."
Before Braden could explain, a shout rent the air.
Maggie turned to see smoke billowing out from one of the small buildings in the inner bailey. It took a full second more before it dawned on her which building it was.