"No. Not that I know of. I don"t know. I"m just scared."
Risking dismemberment, he reached out and took her hand in his. "I know. It"s because you lost the baby before and what if something is wrong this time."
She sighed. "Yeah."
"There"s no reason to think there"s any problem. You"ll be fine."
"You don"t actually know that."
"You don"t actually know I"m not telling the truth."
She squeezed his fingers. "Okay. Maybe."
He sensed her relaxing a little and decided it was a good idea to keep her distracted. "Reid mentioned you didn"t want to know the s.e.x of the baby."
"What else did you talk about?" she asked.
"I agree with you," he said, ignoring the question. "There are too few good surprises in life these days."
"Oh, please. You"re only saying that because you"re a.s.suming I"m having a boy. Typical male. The whole world just lives to be your p.e.n.i.s."
He chuckled. "Something like that."
They parked in the multilevel structure by the medical building. He followed her into the office.
The waiting room was uncomfortably cheerful and feminine and he was the only guy in sight. Despite feeling awkward, he was glad he"d come. Especially after Penny gave her name, took a seat and then grabbed his hand in hers.
"You can come in," she said, not looking at him, but instead staring at the floor and speaking very quickly. "Tell me if you hear them talking about anything. I want to know."
He turned and touched her chin so she met his gaze. "I promise." Then he drew their clasped hands to his mouth and kissed her fingers. "Relax. Everything is going to be fine."
"You don"t know that. And I"m only letting you be nice to me because I"m scared. Just so we"re clear, I"m still furious with you."
He shook his head. "Okay, you can imagine ways to roast me over an open flame after the appointment."
She was quiet for a while, then she said, "I appreciate you doing this."
"Why wouldn"t I be willing? It"s not that big a deal."
She looked at him. "What do you think is going to happen?"
He didn"t like that question. Or the gleam in her eye. "It"s an ultrasound. They rub goop on your belly."
The nurse called her name. Penny stood and smiled at Cal.
"Sorry, no. We"re not doing it that way."
"What other way is there to see the baby?" He frowned as he followed her.
"From the inside," she said smugly.
The inside? How the h.e.l.l would they get a probe...
"You"re kidding."
"YOU WERE GOING to let Reid see this?" Cal asked fifteen minutes later as Penny lay on a table in a small room filled with equipment.
"He was going to stand by my head, which is where you"ll be standing."
"I"m fine with that. Better than fine. Happy, even." He might have recently seen Penny naked and touched every inch of her, but he wasn"t excited about watching an intimate medical exam.
"If you start to get queasy, close your eyes and think of England," she said with a grin.
"I"m not British," he muttered as the door opened and the doctor stepped into the room.
"Good morning," she said. "How are you feeling, Penny?"
"Good. Nervous. This is Cal. He"s a friend."
"I know you"re not the father," the doctor said. "I did the IVF procedure. Hi. I"m Dr. Robins." She shook hands with Cal, then turned her attention to Penny. "Don"t be nervous. We"re only doing this to check on the baby. There"s no reason for any of us to think something"s wrong."
"I know. It"s just...you know. What happened last time."
"Yes, I know." The doctor checked her folder, then reached for the paper sheet covering Penny"s bottom half. "All right. Let"s see what your little guy looks like."
Cal did his best to ignore what was happening. He held Penny"s hand, only half listened to the conversation and thought about the restaurant. When that didn"t work, he considered the yearly question of whether or not the Mariners would make it to the World Series. Now that Reid wasn"t playing baseball, he didn"t have to worry about divided loyalties.
"There we go," the doctor said.
"Oh, look," Penny whispered.
Cal turned to the screen and saw something moving. It was just a bunch of light and dark patches. Not anything he recognized. Then the picture shifted and sharpened.
"Is that the head?" he asked.
"Uh-huh. There we go. A head, the body. Arms and legs."
"Just two of each, right?" Penny asked anxiously. She tightened her grip on Cal"s hand.
"Just two. Everything looks normal." She clicked a switch and the room filled with the sound of the baby"s heartbeat.
Seeing the infant move, hearing its heart, was incredibly profound. Until that moment, Cal hadn"t connected Penny"s pregnancy with actual life. Her first pregnancy had ended before they got to this stage and he realized now that in some ways, it hadn"t been real to him, either.
She was having a baby. A real baby who would grow up to be an actual person.
He stared down at her, seeing her smile, watching tears fill her eyes. How could she be so d.a.m.n confident that she was willing to take this on by herself?
But he already had the answer. He could see it in the love in her eyes. She"d always wanted children. At first with him, and when he screwed that up, then any way she could.