They laughed at that and then he added, "Well, the household is yours. Geva will be glad for it, I think. And the boys need a mother sometimes."
"One of the boys is older than me, David."
"It will not always be so, and Michael and Roger are far from home and could use a woman"s understanding sometimes. And you will have your own children, too, in time."
Children. Everything he had mentioned could have been provided by some merchant"s daughter who brought a large dowry. Children, too. But her sons would be the grandchildren of Hugh Fitzwaryn. Morvan suspected that David sought their bloodline for his children with this marriage. Could he be right? She found that she hoped it was true. It would explain much, and mean that she brought something to him that another woman could not.
Late that night she awoke in his sleeping embrace. It seemed normal to be in his arms. She lay motionless, alert to his reality and warmth. How odd to feel so close to someone so quickly. True to his word, he brought her back to Westminster by dawn. She walked through the corridors of a building that felt slightly foreign to her. She slipped into the hidden privacy of her bed while Joan and Idonia still slept.
A firm hand jostled her awake and she looked up into Joan"s beaming face. "Aren"t you coming to dinner? You sleep the sleep of the dead," Joan said.
Christiana thought that skipping dinner and just sleeping all day sounded like a wonderful idea, but she pulled herself up and asked Joan to call for a servant.
An hour later, dressed and coiffed, she sat beside Joan on a bench in the large hall, picking at food and watching the familiar scene that now looked slightly strange. Her senses were both alerted and dulled at the same time and she knew that those hours with David had caused this. Joan asked her some questions about David"s house, and she answered halfheartedly, not wanting to share any of those memories right now.
Toward the end of the meal, Lady Catherine approached their table, her cat eyes gleaming. She chatted with Joan for a while and then turned a gracious face on Christiana.
"You marry quite soon, don"t you, dear?"
Christiana nodded. Joan glanced at Catherine sharply, as if it was rude to mention this marriage.
"I have a small gift for you. I will send it to your chamber," Catherine said before leaving. She wondered why Lady Catherine would do such a thing. After all, they weren"t good friends. Still, the gesture touched her and left her thinking that Morvan, as usual, had overreacted to something in warning her off Catherine.
Thomas Holland spirited Joan away and left Christiana on her own. She returned to Isabele"s deserted apartment, glad for the privacy. The court routine seemed intrusive when her thoughts dwelled on yesterday and the future.
She went into Isabele"s chamber. Four days and I leave here forever, she thought, looking out the window. She no longer feared that. A part of her had already departed. The sound of a door opening reached her ears. Joan or Idonia returning. She hadn"t seen the guardian since her return. She wondered what that little woman would say to her. The footsteps that advanced through the anteroom were not a woman"s, however. Morvan had come. One look at her and he would know. Was she brave enough to say "Aye, you were right and it was magic and I liked it?" His strength had stood for years between her and all men, and now she had given herself to one whom he hated.
The steps came forward. They stopped at the threshold to the bedchamber.
"Darling," a familiar voice said.
Shock screamed through her. She swung around.
There in the doorway stood none other than Stephen Percy.
Chapter 12.
"Stephen," she gasped.
He smiled and advanced toward her, his arms inviting an embrace. She watched him come with an odd combination of astonished dismay, warm delight, and cold objectivity. She noticed the thick muscles beneath his pourpoint. She observed the harsh handsomeness of his features. His blond hair and fair skin struck her as blanched and vague compared to David"s golden coloring. She couldn"t move. Confused, horrified, and yearning emotions paralyzed her. Not now, her soul shrieked. A month ago or a month hence, but not now. Especially not today. Strong arms surrounded her. A hard mouth crushed hers.
She pushed him off. His green eyes expressed surprise and then, briefly, something else. Annoyance?
"You are angry with me, my love," he said with a sigh. "I cannot blame you."
She turned away, grasping the edge of the window for support. Dear G.o.d, was she to have no peace?
She had found acceptance and contentment and even the hope of something more, and now this.
"Why are you here?"
"To see you, of course."
"You returned to Westminster to see me?"
"Aye, darling. Why else? I used the excuse of the pre-Lenten tournament."
The tournament was scheduled to begin the day after her wedding. Stephen loved those contests. She suspected that was his true reason for coming, but her broken heart, not yet totally healed, lurched at the notion that he came for her.
The pain was still too raw, the humiliation still too new, for her to completely reject the hope that he indeed loved her. The girl who had been faithful to this man desperately still wanted to believe it. Her heart yearned for that rea.s.surance.
Her mind, however, had learned a thing or two from its agony. "When did you arrive?"
"Two days ago. I did not seek you immediately because I was with my friend Geoffrey. He is in a bad way with a fever. He lies in Lady Catherine"s house in London."
"You are friends with Catherine?"
"Not really. Geoffrey is, however." He stepped toward her. "She told me all about your marriage to this merchant," he said sympathetically. "If Edward were not my king, I would challenge him for degrading you thus."
She glanced at the concern in his expression. It struck her as a little exaggerated, like a mask one puts on for a festival.
He reached out and caressed her face. The broken heart, aching for the balm of renewed illusions, sighed.
The spirit and mind, remembering last night"s pa.s.sion and David"s rights, made her move away.
"You already knew of my marriage, did you not? I wrote you a letter."
"I knew. I received it, darling. But I never imagined that the King would go through with this. And Catherine has told me of your unhappiness and humiliation."
How kind of Lady Catherine, Christiana thought bitterly. Why did this woman meddle in her affairs?
And how had Catherine known about Stephen and her?
Joan. Joan had gossiped. Did everyone know now? Probably. They would all be watching and waiting the next few days, maybe the next few years, to see how this drama unfolded.
"Perhaps I should not have come," Stephen muttered. "Catherine a.s.sured me that you would want to see me."
"I am glad to see you, Stephen. At the least I can congratulate you on your own betrothal."
He made a face of resignation. "She was my father and uncle"s choice, my sweet. She does not suit me, in truth."
"All the same, she is your wife. As David is my husband."
"Aye, and it tears me apart that there is nought we can do about that, my sweet."
A candle inside her snuffed out then, and she knew that it was the last flame of her illusions and childish dreams. It did not hurt much, but something of her innocence died with it, and she felt that loss bitterly. Through it all, she had saved a little bit of hope, despite knowing and seeing the truth. If he had not returned, it would have slowly disappeared as she lived her life and spent her pa.s.sion with David, much as a small pool of water will disappear in the heat of a summer afternoon. What if Stephen had spoken differently? What if he had come to plead with her to run away together and pet.i.tion to have both of their betrothals annulled? It was what that reserve of hope had wanted, after all.
A week ago she would have done it, despite the disgrace that would fall on her. Even last weekend, such an offer might have instantly healed her pain and banished her doubts about him. Now, however, it would have been impossible. Nowa A horrible comprehension dawned. Stephen"s presence receded as her mind grasped the implications. Impossible now. David had seen to that, hadn"t he?
Last night had consummated their marriage. No annulment would be possible now, unless David himself denied what had occurred. And she knew, she just knew, that he would not, despite his promise that first night.
I expect you to be faithful to me. No other man touches you now. All of those witnessesa even Idonia and her brother.
An eerie chill shook her.
David had known Stephen was coming. He had been asking the pilgrims and merchants. He could not know if Stephen came to claim her, however. Nonetheless, he had still covered that eventuality. Methodically, carefully, he had made sure that she could not leave with Stephen. If she did anyway, despite the invisible chains forged last night, despite the dishonor and disgrace, he possessed the proof necessary to get her back.
The ruthlessness of it stunned her.
She remembered the poignant emotions she had felt last night. Twice a fool. More childish illusions. Her stupid trust of men must be laughable to them.
A warm presence near her shoulder interrupted her thoughts. Stephen hovered closely, his face near hers.
"There is nought that we can do about these marriages, darling, but in life there is duty and then there is love."
"What are you saying, Stephen?"
"You cannot love this man, Christiana. It will never happen. He is base and his very touch will insult you. I would spare you that if I could, but I cannot. But I can soothe your hurt, darling. Our love can do that. Give this merchant your duty, but keep our love in your heart."
She wanted to tell him how wrong he was, how David"s touch never insulted. But what words could she use to explain that? Besides, she wasn"t at all sure that the magic would return now that she knew why he had seduced her. Perhaps the next time, on their wedding night, she would indeed feel insulted and used. Well, what had she expected? David was a merchant and she was property. Very expensive property. She doubted that King Edward gave refunds.
Love, she thought sadly. She had thought that there was some love in it. Her ignorance was amazing. David was right. She did live her life like she expected it to be some love song. But life was not like that. Men were not like that.
"I am a married woman, Stephen. What you are suggesting is dishonorable."
He smiled at her much the way one might smile at an innocent child. "Love has nothing to do with honor and dishonor. It has to do with feeling alive instead of dead. You will realize that soon enough."
"I hope that you are not so bold as to ask for the proof of my love now. I wed in several days."
"Nay. I would not give a merchant reason to upbraid or harm you, although the thought of him having you first angers me. Marry your mercer as you must, darling. But know that I am here."
"I am an honest woman, Stephen. And I do not think that you love me at all. I think that this was a game to you, and still is. A game in which you lose nothing but I risk everything. I will not play in the future."
He began protesting and reaching for her. Footsteps in the anteroom stopped him. She turned to the new presence at the threshold.
Good Lord, was there no mercy?
Morvan filled the doorway, gazing at them both. For one horrible moment an acute tension filled the room.
"Percy, it is good to see you," Morvan said, advancing into the chamber. "You have come for the tournament?"
"Aye," Stephen said, easing away from her.
Morvan eyed them both again. "I a.s.sume that you are wishing each other happiness in your upcoming marriages."
She nodded numbly. There was no point in trying to explain away Stephen"s presence. She saw in her brother"s eyes that he had heard the gossip.
"It is a strange thing about my sister"s marriage, Stephen," Morvan said as he paced to the hearth. "It is said that the King sold her for money, and I believed that too. But I have lately wondered if this didn"t come about for another reason. Perhaps he sought to salvage her reputation and my family"s honor, and not disgrace it."
She watched them consider each other. Not now, Morvan, she urged silently. It doesn"t matter anymore.
"I must be going, my lady," Stephen said, turning a warm smile on her. She gestured helplessly and watched him stride across the chamber.
"Sir Stephen," Morvan called from the hearth. "It would be unwise for you to pursue this."
"Do you threaten me?" Stephen hissed.
"Nay. It is no longer for me to do so. I simply tell you as a friend that it would be a mistake. Her husband is not your typical merchant. And I have reason to think that he knows well how to use the daggers that he wears."
Stephen smirked in a condescending way before leaving the apartment. She faced her brother"s dark scrutiny. He looked her up and down, and searched her eyes with his own.
"It is customary, sister, to wait a decent interval after the wedding before meeting with one"s old lovers."
She had no response to that calm scolding.
"And since you spent the night in that man"s bed, you are indeed truly wed now."
"David. His name is David. You always call him *that merchant" or *that man," Morvan. He has a name."
He regarded her with lowered lids. "I am right, am I not? You slept with him. With David."
It was pointless to lie. She knew he could tell. She nodded, feeling much less secure about that decision now that she understood David"s motivations.
"You must not see Percy again for a long while."
"I did not arrange to meet Stephen."
"Still, you should be careful. Such things are taken in stride if the woman is discreet or if the husband does not care, but you have no experience in such deceptions and your merchant does not strike me as a willing cuckold."
"I told Stephen that I am not interested in him anymore."
"He does not believe you."
He was just trying to help her. In this his advice was probably as sound as any man"s. He"d certainly bedded his share of married women.
"Do you despise me?" she whispered.
A strained expression covered his face. He strode across the s.p.a.ce and gathered her into his arms.
"Nay. But I would not have you be this man"s wife, and I would not have you be Percy"s wh.o.r.e. Can you understand that? And I blame myself because I did not find a way to take you away from here."
She looked into his dark eyes. She read the worry there and thought that she understood part of it.