Bad as things were so far as I knew them, this dejection seemed disproportionate and excessive. She was like a mad woman distraught with fear or grief; and she waved her hands about as if wrestling with emotions she could not conquer.
"Oh, it can"t be true; it can"t be," she moaned; and then came suddenly to me, turned my face to the light holding it between her white trembling hands, and gazed at me with a look of mingled anguish, fear, doubt, wildness, and--love; her lips parted and her bosom rising and falling as if with the strain of her pa.s.sionate feelings.
When her scrutiny was over, her hands seemed to slip down and she fell on her knees close to me and I heard her muttering prayers with vehement fervour.
"What does this mean, Olga?" I asked gently, bending down and laying my hand on her shoulder. She looked round and up at my touch, and tried to smile. Then she rose and standing opposite to me, put her hands on my two shoulders so that her face was close beneath mine. And all the time she was muttering prayers. Then, in a voice all broken and tremulous, she said:--
"Brother, swear as you believe there is a G.o.d in Heaven, you will answer truly what I ask."
"I will. I swear it," I answered, wishing to quiet her.
"Did you really do this?"
"Do what?" I asked, not understanding.
"Kill Christian Tueski?"
"Did I kill him? No, child, certainly not." I spoke in the greatest astonishment.
"Oaths may bind you to secrecy, I know. But for G.o.d"s sake, tell me the truth--the truth. You can tell me. I am...." I felt her shudder.
"Is it this which has been driving you distracted? There is no cause.
I know no more by whose hand that man came by his death than a babe unborn."
"Say that again, Alexis. Say it again. It is the sweetest music I have heard in all my life."
I repeated the a.s.surance, and a smile of genuine relief broke out over her face. Next she cried and laughed and cried again, and then sat down as if completely overcome by the rush of relief from a too heavy strain.
"What does all this mean?" I asked quietly, after a while. "Try and tell me."
"I have been like a mad thing for two days. Let me wait awhile. I will tell you presently. Oh, thank G.o.d, thank G.o.d for what you have said. It drove me mad to think you should have been driven to this by me; and that perhaps for my sake you might have been urged to do such a horrible thing. Waking and sleeping alike I have thought of nothing but of your suffering torture and death. And all through me--through me." She covered her face in horror at the remembrance of her thoughts: but a moment later took away her hands to smile at me.
"You have not told me yet what made you think anything of the sort."
"I will tell you. As soon as I heard the news, I knew of course that as I had been mixed up in some old Nihilist troubles, it would be hopeless for me to think of leaving Moscow; and when the police agent came I let him understand that I had given up all thought of travelling yet. Then I was all anxiety for news of you, and in the afternoon I went to your rooms. I found the door shut and could hear nothing.
Then I began to fear for you. I am only a woman."
She stopped and smiled to me before resuming. Then with a shudder she continued:--
"Then a most strange thing happened, Borlas came to me just at dusk; and he looked so strange that at first I thought he had been drinking.
Saying he had a message from you he waited until I had sent the servant away.
""What is it?" I asked.
"For answer he gave me a sign that made my heart sink. I knew it too well, and I looked at him with the keenest scrutiny. Had the Nihilists put a spy on you even in your own servant? Then I saw--that it was not Borlas, but a man so cleverly made up to resemble him that I had been at first deceived.
""What do you want here?" I asked, now with every nerve in my body at full tension.
""Do you know?" and the light in his eyes seemed to flash into mine.
""Do I know what?" I could see there was something behind all this.
"He bent close to me, though we were of course alone, and spoke his reply in a fierce whisper.
""Tell your brother that after this proof our hearts beat but for him; our plans shall all wait on him; every man of us will go to his death silently and cheerfully at his mere bidding. He leads, we follow. He has n.o.bly kept his pledge for the cause of G.o.d and Freedom."
"As I heard this my heart seemed to stop in pain. I had to hold to the table to save myself from falling."
""Do you mean," I gasped, "that Alexis has murdered...."
""Silence, sister," replied the man sternly. "That is no word for you to utter or for me to hear. Your brother is as true a friend as Russian Liberty ever had; and I thank my G.o.d that I have ever been allowed to even touch the hand that has dealt this vigorous blow and done this n.o.ble and righteous act."
""I will tell him," I said.
""Tell him also, he need have no fear. Not a man who was at the meeting is in the city now, save me; and not a single soul of the thousands these h.e.l.l dogs of tyranny can seize knows anything--save only me. And I would to the Almighty G.o.d they would take me and torture me and tear my flesh off bit by bit with their cursed red-hot pincers that I might use my last breath and my latest effort to taunt them that I know the hero who has done it, and die with my knowledge a secret."
"Then this terrible man, you may not know his name, but I know him, left me, telling me it was "a glorious day for Russia, and that G.o.d would smile for ever upon you for this deed." And I--I was plunged into a maelstrom of agonising fears, racking doubts, and poisoned thoughts about you and what I had led you to do."
What Olga said had also immense importance and significance for me. It shewed me a startling view of my situation. It was clear the Nihilists attributed the murder to me, and what effect that would have upon us I was at a loss even to conjecture.
"The man"s blood is not on my hands, Olga; but I cannot be surprised at the mistake. I will tell you everything;" and I told her then all that had pa.s.sed.
"Who can have done it then?" she asked, when I finished.
"It is as complete a mystery to me as to the police. The man I saw near the house might have done it; but then I suppose it must have been the same man who came to you: and in that case he certainly wouldn"t have set it down to me. I am beaten. But I am likely to find the wrongful inheritance embarra.s.sing. I must be more cautious than ever to draw down no word of suspicion upon either of us. We must both be scrupulously careful. And thus it will be impossible for you to think of getting away."
"It"s a leaden sky that has no silver streak," replied Olga. "And that impossibility is my streak."
I could not but understand this, and even while my judgment condemned her, my heart was warmed by her words. But my judgment spoke.
"If you were away my anxieties would be all but ended."
"If I were away my anxieties would be all but unendurable," she retorted, following my words and smiling. It was not possible to hear this with anything but delight; but I had my feelings too well under control now to let them be seen easily.
"That may be," I said. "But my first and chief effort will be to get you safe across the frontier."
She made no answer: but her manner told me she would not consent to go until it had become a rank impossibility for her to stay. Presently she said with much feeling:--
"If I had been away and the news had come that you had done the thing these men a.s.sert, how do you think I could have borne it? I should have either come rushing back here or have died of remorse and fear and anxiety on your account. It was through me you commenced all this."
"But of my own choice that I continued," I replied. "And believe me, if all were to come over again I should act in just the same way. I have never had such a glorious time before; and all I want now is to see you safe."
Olga paused to look at me steadily.
"You"ve never told me all the reason why you were so ready to take all these desperate risks. Will you tell me now?"
"I had made a mess of things generally, as I told you before," I answered, with a smile and a slight flush at the reminiscences thus disturbed by her question.
"Was there a woman in it?" Her eyes were fixed on me as she put the question.