XI
BIG EYE BUZZARD
"Mammy, less go up to Jim Weed"s house, he"s going to give me one of his buzzard eggs." Willis was halfway to the gate.
"Come back hyah, boy,--I ain" gwine stirry er step fum dis hyah tree tell I churns dis milk fur Kitty, an" ennyhow yond"r come comp"ny ter see yer,"
she nodded towards Mary Van, who was tip-toeing to unfasten the gate.
""Tain"t anybody but Mary Van, and she can go, too."
"Where, Willis?" and the little girl ran past him to the joggling board[1]
near Phyllis; "Put me up, Mammy!"
[1] Joggling-board.--A long, springy board about three feet from the ground, made fast at each end, and so arranged that children may jump up and down, or joggle on it.
Phyllis dropped the churn top in place and went to the a.s.sistance of Mary Van. "Come on, son," she called over her shoulder, "an" let dem buzzard aigs hatch right whar dey is, "caze de Lawd knows dey"s in de right nes"."
"Jim Weed"s er nice boy," resented Willis, refusing to come.
"He ain" nuthin" but po" white trash." She stood with her arms akimbo, waiting to lift him beside Mary Van. "Come on, an" hole Ma"y Van"s han" so bofe uv yer kin stay on de bo"rd whin yer joggles."
"He"s not poor white trash," exclaimed Willis hotly, "he"s got a pigeon house, and a dog house, and a bird house, and a--"
"I doan keer how minny houses he got, an" I doan keer how much money he got neeth"r--he ain" nuthin" in dis woel but po" trash," she announced with a sweeping bow, then added to Mary Van, as she returned to the churn: "Set down on de bo"rd, honey, tell Willis git reddy ter stan" up an" jump wid you. He bleege ter cool off er while, fus", "cose he know trashy fokes got ter keep on bein" trashy, jes" like he know dat buzzard aig bleege ter hatch out er buzzard; doan keer ef you puts. .h.i.t in Lilly Dove"s nes" er way up yond"r in Jedge Eagle"s nes", hit"s boun" ter be er buzzard dat pips dat aig sh.e.l.l."
Swishing the dasher up and down in the churn, she continued addressing herself to Mary Van.
"Yas, Lawd, yer orter heah ole man Turkey Buzzard tell "bout whin his boy, Big Eye, turn hisse"f ter er eagle. Big Eye tell his pa he ti"ed soshatin" wid de low down buzzards dat lives on Dead Man"s Mountain, an"
he done make up his min" ter greeze his feath"rs an" shave de top er his haid like de ball eagle, an" move ov"r ter Tinker k.n.o.b whar de fus" cla.s.s birds lives at."
"Mammy, I thought buzzards were bald anyhow," said Willis coming a step or two nearer.
""Cose dey bin ball ev"r sense Big Eye shave his haid.
"His pa say, "Doan yer know soon es fokes heahs yer name, dey kin p"int out yer fambly?"
"He tell his pa he gwine change his name ter Mist"r Mount"n Fowel, an"
tell de fokes he"s kin ter Jedge Eagle"s fambly, so he kin git vit"d ter de fine parties.
"His pa say, "Fokes kin tell yo" buzzard lope" soon es you starts ter dancin"."
"He say he ain" gwine dance no "buzzard lope," dat he gwine "cut de pigeon wing."
"His ma ax him, "Whatchu gwine do "bout marryin" yo" cousin Ashy Car"on Crow?"
"He say he done fergit all "bout dat ole black, warty head"d crow, dat he gwine marry Miss Tishy Peafowel.
"His pa tell him he dunno nuthin" tall erbout dis new fangled way er doin", dat he allus heahs de ole fokes say birds bett"r stick ter der own fe"th"r.
"He stan" up an" sa.s.s his pa scan"lous, an" say jes" "caze his fambly wus buzzards, dat ain" no rees"n fur him ter be one. He say he mo" finer lookin" dan dem. "In fack," sez he, "I"m jes" like dem Eagle boys, an" I"m gwine pa.s.s off fur one de fambly, too."
"Ole lady Buzzard cry an" beg him ter stay at home; she say ef he jes"
make er man er hisse"f, he kin be de bigges" buzzard on Dead Man.
"He pat his ma on de back, an" laf" sorter gran" like an" say, "Ooman fokes am" got "nuf sense ter "vise in men fokes "fars." Den he flop his wings an" come flyin" "zackly like dem Eagle boys flies.
"Whin de birds on Tink"r seed him comin", dey "gun ter pa.s.s jedgement "bout who hit mout be. Sum says. .h.i.t"s one, sum says. .h.i.t"s ernuth"r, but all uv "em says one thing dey knows fur sartin an" sho,--"Tain" no ole buzzard."
Willis had come slowly, step by step, until he had climbed up by Mary Van, on the joggling board.
"Big Eye Buzzard sorter circle "roun" lookin" fur er good place ter light. Bimeby, he see Doct"r p.e.c.k.e.rwood lancin" er bile on one dese tall Pine trees, an" he start circlin" "roun" de Pine tree. Atter while heah he come an" light on de ve"y top"es lim". Doct"r p.e.c.k.e.rwood howdy sorter short ter him, "caze he bizzy tryin" ter keep de Pine tree fum moanin"
ov"r de bile, but er lit"le thing like dat doan both"r Big Eye, he up an"
spon", "I"m feelin" poly m"se"f, an" I stop ter git sum med"cine, an" ax Mist"r Tall Pine ef he kin spar" me er room."
"Doct"r p.e.c.k.e.rwood ax him wharbouts he hu"t, an" wharbouts he come fum, an" what"s his name, an" whut he bin eatin"? Yer see Doct"r p.e.c.k.e.rwood want ter git sum news "long wid de symptoms.
"Big Eye say, "I"m tendin" ter sum biznes" fur m" Unkle Jedge Eagle, an" I ain" eat nuthin" sense I lef" Mill Mount"in, whar de Eagleses lives at."
"Doct"r Peck"rwood say, "Surt"n"ly he heah fokes tell "bout de great Jedge Eagle, an" fur him ter stay right dar tell he git good an" well, "caze he know Mist"r Pine Tree ain" nuv"r had one er de Eagle fambly at his house b"fo"."
"Tall Pine say, "I"m pow"ful po"ly m"sef, but hit "ud make me proud ef yer kin make yerse"f comf"bul, an" stay."
"Oh, I tell yer, dem Tree Frogs an" Lizzarts "buse Mist"r Mount"in Fowel scan"lous. Dey sez he keep "em runnin" ev"y which er way all de time, an"
he ain" give "em so much es er ole par er shoes.
"Doct"r Peck"rwood g"long ov"r ter Miss Chicken Hawkes"s ter give one de chillun er dost er cast"r oil, an" he tell "em dat de gentmun dey seed wus Mist"r Mount"in Fowel, an" he wus kin ter Jedge Eagle. An" Polly Parret wus spindin" de day wid Miss Chickin Hawk dat day, an" whin de Doct"r g"long off, An" Polly make Miss Chicken Hawk fix up er nice chickin fur her ter car"y up ter Big Eye. Miss Chickin Hawk want one er her gals ter take de chickin, but An" Polly say dey too young ter be projickin"
"roun" whar gentmuns is at, but hit doan make no diffunce "bout er ole maid like her. Well, she car"d de chickin, an" she brung back de news.--Big Eye stuff her so full, dat she can" hardly fly wid hit. She come ter Miss Magpie"s house, an" I tell yer dey wus jes" waitin" fur her.
Dey runs out ter meet her, an" she bile ov"r "fo" she git in de house, an"
"fo" she git plum th"u, dem Magpie gals had done put on der fine close, an" wus totin" dat news "roun" like er gun wus b"hime "em. Fokes sont him fine vit"als ter eat, an" say soon es he git so es ter be erbout, dey gwine "vite him ter some parties.
"All dis time, Big Eye settin" up on dat lim" gorgin" hisse"f wid der fine vit"als, an" mos" killin" hisse"f laffin" "bout how fokes loves ter be fool"d. He know hits "bout time fur him ter be gittin" well, an" he set an" studdy how he gwine git de money ter keep up wid de hifalutin" a"rs dese fine fokes puts on. Long "bout dat time, Sis" Cow"s cousin take an"
die. Dey keeps her out er day er two, "caze dey fixin" ter have er fine fun"al. Big Eye git well soon es he heah "bout dat dead cow. He flop his wings an" fly back ter Dead Man"s Mount"in, an" tell de buzzards he got er fine piece er meat ter sell "em cheap. Dey barg"ins right den an" dar fur all de dead an"mals on Tink"r, an" Big Eye sign de corntrack part, ef dey promise dey nuv"r is ter come on Tink"r ter git "em, "cep"n on de dark er de moon."
[Ill.u.s.tration: "BIMEBY HE GIT AX"D TER BE ER PAWL B"ARER TER ALL UV "EM."]
"Let "em come in the daytime, Mammy, they can"t see in the dark,"
suggested Willis.
"Big Eye know dey"d run him clean off"n Tinker k.n.o.b ef dem fokes see he git his livin" off"n der mis"ry. Nex" day hyah he come flyin" back wid er big bunch er fun"al flow"rs wid ribbin streamers flyin" ev"y which er way.
Fokes wint ter de fun"al jes" ter see de flow"rs. Ev"ybody talkin" "bout de gran"nes" er Mist"r Mount"in Fowel, an" how he "tend all de berryin"s, doan keer who "tis. An" bimeby he git ax"d ter be er pawl b"arer ter all uv "em.
"Miss Chickin Hawk give er party long "bout den, an" Big Eye he act mouty nice ter her gals, tell Mist"r Turkey Gobl"r "vite him ter his house, den he fergit he ev"r heah tell er de Chicken Hawkeses. He runnin" ev"y minite ter Mist"r Turkey Gobl"rs house, makin" like he wus dancin" "tendance on Mandy Gobl"r, an" all he wanter do is ter git er peep at Tishy Peafowel dat live nex" do". Oh, I tell yer he talk purty talk ter Mandy, but he cas" dem sheep eyes at Tish. Bimeby, Mandy, she pa.s.s Big Eye de "quaintance uv Tishy ov"r de fence, an" hit "tain"t long "fo" Big Eye gits er invite ov"r ter Majer Peafowel"s. Whin dat hap"n, hit look like he done fergit wharbouts Mandy live, an" po" Mandy she look out de wind"r an" see Big Eye an" Tishy sashain" in de yard, lovin" harder"n er mule kin kick.
"Majer Peafowel say he want Tishy ter mar"y Johnny Squinch Owel, "caze he"s de bigges" lawyer on Tinker. But Tishy say he too ugly ter look at, let lone ter mar"y.
"Johnny Squinch ain" sayin" nuthin", he jes" keepin" er lookout fur Big Eye. He see Big Eye go out sumwhars ev"y dark er de moon, an" he low he gwine fol"r "im an" see whut he do. "Caze yer knows de dark"r hit gits, de bet"rer Squinch Owels kin see."
"How can he see in the dark?"