"97-68.".
"G.o.d."
"And I scored thirty-eight of them all by myself."
"Wow."
"You want to drink a brewski on that?"
"Yeah. That sounds great." I was rallying again.
"I"ll steal a couple from the fridge. The old man won"t mind." He stood up and walked to the kitchen door. "Remember, Romeo. What"s the motto?"
""f.u.c.k "em.""
"That"s right. "f.u.c.k "em.""
Yeah, I felt real good right then, and it must have lasted for all of thirty seconds.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
"Hi, Mrs. Brasher. I was just wondering if Cindy was up yet."
"I"m afraid not, Spence. Would you like her to call you?"
"No, that"s all right. I"ll just try her a little later."
"All right. I"ll give her the message."
Mrs. Brasher was always nice to me. I"d only been out there three times but each time she went out of her way to make me comfortable. With Mr. Brasher it had been different. He said h.e.l.lo and shook hands and everything but then he didn"t say anything else, just sat in his recliner and watched TV. Every once in a while I"d sense him staring at me. Sizing me up, I suppose, wondering why his daughter would trade in a football hero for somebody like me. But hadn"t they noticed her black eyes and all the other bruises?
"Thanks, Mrs. Brasher."
I tried half an hour later.
"Hi, Mrs. Brasher. It"s me again."
"Oh, h.e.l.lo, Spence."
This time she didn"t sound quite so happy to hear from me.
"Is shea""
"a"not yet, Spence. But I"d be happy to have her call you."
But what if she got the message and decided not to call me?
These were dangerous times.
"Nah, that"s all right. I"ll try again later."
"I wouldn"t try before noon, Spence."
"All right, Mrs. Brasher. I"m sorry to bother you."
I spent most of the morning driving around in my old beater. I stopped in at the used paperback place and found an old Dan J. Marlowe I hadn"t reada"Marlowe was a great crime writera"a novel called Never Live Twice. Usually, I would have been pretty excited.
But all I did was pay for it and then walk outside and drop it on the pa.s.senger seat and start driving around again.
"Hi, Mrs. Brasher."
A long sigh. "h.e.l.lo, Spence."
"I was wondering ifa""
"I thought we agreed to twelve o"clock."
"Oh, I"m sorry, I thought you said around twelve." My whole body was shaking. Now I"d alienated my one lone ally in the Brasher house.
"Well, even if I had said around twelve, Spence, it"s only two minutes after eleven."
"Oh."
"This isn"t a good way to make her want to see you, Spence."
"It isn"t?"
"No. You"ve got to give her a little room."
"Oh."
Then: "I"m sorry, Spence. I really like you."
"Well, I really like you, too, Mrs. Brasher."
Then: "She"s going shopping at the mall this afternoon. Maybe you could just kind of "accidentally" meet her there. She"s supposed to meet some of her friends there around two o"clock."
"G.o.d, thanks for telling me, Mrs. Brasher."
She laughed. "My pleasure, Spencea"as long as you don"t call back in fifteen minutes."
"I won"t. I promise."
"We both like you, Spence, the mister and me. We hope she"ll want to see you again. But just take it a little easy, all right?"
"Thanks, Mrs. Brasher."
On weekends, the farmers come to the mall, a lot of them. It"s kind of funny to think of us as "town people" when the town"s barely 25,000 but there is a difference in the way we dress and talk and even walk around the mall. I guess we all have to feel superior to somebody so we feel superior to the farmers. They just don"t understand life as it"s lived by big-city sophisticates like ourselves.
G.o.d basically invented malls so high school boys would have a nice dry place to hit on girls. At least that"s how I see it.
This Sat.u.r.day was no exception. Love and l.u.s.t bloomed every three yards or so, all kinds of boys making all kinds of fools of themselves over all kinds of girls.
I got there early to check out the B. Dalton. There were a couple of Roger Zelazny reprints I wanted to buy but I figured I wouldn"t look real macho coming up to Cindy with a couple of books in my hand.
She wasn"t there at two, and I got almost panicky. And she wasn"t there are two-thirty, and I got even more panicky.
I patrolled the mall south to east, west to north.
As I"d been ever since she dumped me, I was alternatively despairing, optimistic, angry, joyous, confident, terrified.
And then I saw her.
The scariest thing in the world for most boys is to approach a girl when she"s with a group of other girls. At least it is if you"re as shy as I am.
But today I didn"t even hesitate.
I went right up to her.
A couple of her friends smirked.
Cindy herself looked nervous then faintly angry then a little bit sorry for me.
The girls kept on smirking.
They were the popular girls and to them I was the kind of guy who installed their VCRs or worked on their cars. I wasn"t the kind of guy you talked to in public.
I knew I had to do what Josh had told me to.
I said, out loud and right in front of all of them, "I thought maybe you"d like to go over to Orange Julius with me."
t.i.tters.
She looked embarra.s.sed for both of us.
Then, one of her friends nudging her and giggling, she said, "Sure, why not?"
The nudging friend said, "Hey, you were supposed to go shopping with us."
"Go ahead," Cindy said. "I"ll catch up with you later."
They all looked at me with great scorn. Then they looked at Cindy with great puzzlement.
Why would she be going over to Orange Julius with me?
"I think your mom"s mad at me."
"Actually, my mom likes you."
"Yeah, but I called you a lot this morning."
"Oh, right. Well, I guess she was a little irritated. But not much."
"I really like her."
I wasn"t sure what I"d actually planned to say to her but whatever it was, this wasn"t it.
We sat at a small table in Orange Julius and watched all the people go by in the mall.
They all seemed infinitely happier than I would ever be, and I hated them a little bit for it.
"Boy, isn"t it great out today?"
"Yeah," I said. "Great."
"I heard on the weather report that it only ever got this hot in November once before."
"Wow. I didn"t know that."
Now it was weather.
"Cindy," I said.
She looked at me a moment and then reached over and touched my hand. I went through the usual mixture of feelings, resentful, happy, and scared. A lot of fear.
Her hand was touching mine now but she"d take it away eventually. And then she might never touch me again.
My entire bodya"my entire consciousnessa"was alive and vibrant with the feel of her flesh.
But soon enough I"d be banished to the darkness again.
"I don"t blame you for hating me," she said.
"G.o.d, Cindy, I don"t hate you, I love you."
"You shouldn"t love me, Spence. You should hate me."
"Oh, Cindy."
"There"s something you don"t know and that I can"t tell you and until I figure a way out of it then I can"t see you or anybody else."