"I know a lot of things."
"But I didn"t tell you my name and there"s no way you could read my registration from there anda""
She French inhaleda"then exhaleda"and said, "As I said, Mr. Sheridan, I know a lot of things." She shook her head. "I don"t know how I got like this."
"Like what?"
"Dead."
"Oh."
"You still don"t believe me, do you?"
He sighed. "We"ve got about eight miles to go. Then we"ll be in Porterville. I"ll let you out at the Greyhound depot there. Then you can go about your business and I can go about mine."
She touched his temple with long, lovely fingers. "That"s why you"re such a lonely man, Mr. Sheridan. You never take any chances. You never let yourself get involved with anybody."
He smiled thinly. "Especially with dead people."
"Maybe you"re the one who"s dead, Mr. Sheridan. Night after night alone in cheap little hotel rooms, listening to the country-western music through the wall, and occasionally hearing people make love. No woman. No children. No real friends. It"s not a very good life, is it, Mr. Sheridan?"
He said nothing. Drove.
"We"re both dead, Mr. Sheridan. You know that?"
He still said nothing. Drove.
After a time, she said, "Do you want to know how tonight happened, Mr. Sheridan?"
"No."
"I made you mad, didn"t I, Mr. Sheridan, when I reminded you of how lonely you are?"
"I don"t see where it"s any of your business."
Now it was her turn to be quiet. She stared out at the lashing snow. Then she said, "The last thing I could remember before tonight was John T. holding me underwater till I drowned off the side of our boat. By the way, that"s what all his friends called him. John T." She lit one cigarette off another. "Then earlier tonight I felt myself rise through darkness and suddenly I realized I was taking form. I was rising from the grave and taking form. And there was just one place I wanted to go. The apartment he kept in town for his so-called business meetings. So I went there tonight and killed him."
"You won"t die."
"I beg your pardon?"
"They won"t execute you for doing it. You just tell them the same story you told me, and you"ll get off with second-degree. Maybe even not guilty by reason of insanity."
She laughed. "Maybe if you weren"t so busy watching the road, you"d notice what"s happening to me, Mr. Sheridan."
She was disappearing. Right there in his car. Where her left arm had been was now just a smoldering red-tipped cigarette that seemed to be held up on invisible wires. A part of her face was starting to disappear, too.
"About a quarter-mile down the highway, let me out, if you would."
He laughed. "What"s there? A graveyard?"
"As a matter of fact, yes."
By now her legs had started disappearing.
"You don"t seem to believe it, Mr. Sheridan, but I"m actually trying to help you. Trying to tell you to go out and live while you"re still alive. I wasted my life on my husband, sitting around at home while he ran around with other women, hoping against hope that someday he"d be faithful and we"d have a good life together. It never happened, Mr. Sheridan. I wasted my whole life."
"Sounds like you paid him back tonight. Two gunshots, the radio said."
Her remaining hand raised the cigarette to what was left of her mouth. She inhaled deeply. When she exhaled, the smoke was a lovely gray color. "I was hoping there would be some satisfaction in it. There isn"t. I"m as lonely as I ever was."
He wondered if that was a small, dry sob he heard in her voice.
"Right here," she said.
He had been cautiously braking the last minute-and-a-half. He brought the car comfortably over to the side of the road. He put on his emergency flashers in case anybody was behind him.
Up on the hill to his right, he saw it. A graveyard. The tombstones looked like small children, huddled against the whipping snow.
"After I killed him, I just started walking," she said. "Walking. Not even knowing where I was going. Then you came along." She stabbed the cigarette out in the ashtray. "Do something about your life, Mr. Sheridan. Don"t waste it the way I have."
She got out of the car and leaned back in. "Goodbye, Mr. Sheridan."
He sat there, watching her disappear deep into the gully, then reappear on the other side and start walking up the slope of the hill.
By the time she was halfway there, she had nearly vanished altogether.
Then, moments later, she was gone utterly.
At the police station, he knew better than to tell the cops about the ghost business. He simply told them he"d seen a woman fitting the same description out on the highway about twenty minutes ago.
Grateful for his stopping in, four cops piled into two different cars and set out under blood-red flashers into the furious white night.
Mr. Sheridan found a motela"his usual one in this particular burga"and took his usual room. He stripped, as always, to his boxer shorts and T-shirt and got snug in bed beneath the covers and watched a rerun of an old sitcom.
He should have been laughinga"at least all the people on the laugh track seemed to be having a good timea"but instead he did something he rarely did. He began crying. Oh, not big wailing tears, but hard, tiny, silver ones. Then he shut off both TV and the lights and lay in the solitary darkness, thinking of what she"d said to him.
No woman. No children. No love.
Only much later, when the wind near dawn died and the snow near light subsided, only then did Sheridan sleep, his tears dried out but feeling colder than he ever had. Lonely cold. Dead cold.
BIOGRAPHY.
In his first decade as a professional writer, Ed Gorman has written ten novels of dark suspense, published three collections of stories, and auth.o.r.ed three screenplays. He has won the Shamus and the Spur awards and been nominated for the Edgar and the Anthony in crime fiction.
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