"I won"t have another. I"m happy now and feel capable of soliciting any woman I like."
"Shouldn"t you wait a little?"
"Not a single minute."
Kamal walked along bravely and resolutely, arm in arm with his friend. They fell in with the flow of men going their way and ran into another stream coming from the opposite direction, for the curving street was too narrow for its pedestrian traffic. The men swiveled their heads from right to left at prost.i.tutes who stood or sat on either side. From faces veiled by brilliant makeup, eyes glanced around with a seductive look of welcome. At every instant a man would break ranks to approach one of the women. She would follow him inside, the alluring look in her eyes replaced by a serious, businesslike expression. Lamps mounted above the doors of the brothels and the coffeehouses gave off a brilliant light in which acc.u.mulated the clouds of smoke rising from incense burners and water pipes. Voices were blended and intermingled in a tumultuous swirl around which eddied laughter, shouts, the squeaking of doors and windows, piano and accordion music, rollicking handclaps, a policeman"s bark, braying, grunts, coughs of hashish addicts and screams of drunkards, anonymous calls for help, raps of a stick, and singing by individuals and groups. Above all this, the sky, which seemed close to the roofs of the shabby buildings, stared down at the earth with unblinking eyes. Eyaery beautiful woman there was available and would generously reveal her beauty and secrets in exchange for only ten piasters. Who could believe this without seeing it?
Kamal commented to Isma"il, "Harun al-Rashid struts through his harem."
Laughing, Isma"il asked, "Commander of the Faithful, hasn"t one of die maidens found favor with you?"
"She was standing in that empty doorway. Where do you suppose she went?"
"She"s with a customer inside, Commander of the Faithful. Will Your Majesty wait while one of his subjects accomplishes his objective?"
"How about you? Haven"t you found what you"re looking for?"
"I"m a habitue of the street and its inhabitants, but I won"t tend to my interests until I"ve delivered you to your girlfriend. What did you like about her? There are many prettier."
She had a brown complexion, and makeup did not conceal her color. The sound of her voice was slightly reminiscent of that immortal music of A"ida. After all, an eye might even see some resemblance between the skin coloring of a man being strangled and the pure blue surface of the sky.
"Do you know her?"
"Here she"s called Rose. Her real name is Ayusha."
"Ayusha-Rose!" Kamal exclaimed to himself. "If only a person could change his essence as easily as he changes his name. There"s something of this Ayusha-Rose combination about Ai"da herself, and about religion, Abd al-Hamid Bey Shaddad, and vast dreams. Alas! But wine"s raising you to the throne of the G.o.ds. So watch these contradictions drown pathetically in waves of uproarious jests."
He felt an elbow nudge him in the side as Isma"il said, "Your turn."
Kamal looked toward the doorway and saw a man leave the house hurriedly. Then the woman returned to her post where he had first seen her. He advanced toward her with firm steps, and she received him with a smile. He went inside, trailed by her. She was singing, "Let down the curtain around us". Finding the narrow stairway, he started climbing it with a pounding heart. At the top was a hallway leading into a parlor. Her voice caught up with him, saying now, "Go right," then, "Go left," and finally, "The door that"s partway open."
It was a small room decorated with wallpaper, containing a bed, a dressing table, a clothes rack, a wooden chair, a basin, and a pitcher. Confused, Kamal stood in the center of the room as he examined it. She proceeded to close the door and the window, through which the rattling of a tambourine, whistling, and clapping could be heard. Her face seemed so grave and even glowering and stern that he wondered ironically what she had in mind for him. She confronted him and looked him up and down. When her eyes reached hishead and nose, he felt apprehensive. Wishing to quell his anxiety, he moved toward her and put out his arms.
But she brusquely gestured for him to stay back and said, "Wait". So he scood stock-still where he was.
Determined to overcome all obstacles, he said with an innocent smile, "My name"s Kamal."
Staring at him in astonishment, she replied, "We"re honored."
"Call to me. Say, "Kamal.""
All the more amazed, she answered, "Why should I call you when you"re staring me in the face like a calamity?"
"I take refuge in G.o.d!" he exclaimed to himself Was she making fun of him?
Ever more resolved to rescue the situation, he said, "You told me to wait. What am I waiting for?"
"You"re right to ask that," she said. Then she removed her dress with a theatrical gesture and leaped onto the bed, which creaked from her weight. She stretched out on her back and began to caress her belly with hennaed fingers. His eyes opened wide with disapproval. He had not been expecting this acrobatic performance and sensed they were on different sides of a mountain. What a distance there was between the valley of pleasure and that of work. In one moment everything he had built up in his imagination over the past few days was demolished. There was a bitter taste of resentment in his mouth, but his curiosity was still intense. So he overcame his dismay and ran his eyes down the naked body until they reached their target. For a moment it seemed he could not believe his eyes. With uneasy aversion he looked more closely, but in the end experienced something close to alarm. Was this what women really looked like or had he picked a poor example? But even if he had chosen poorly, would that affect the essential characteristics?
"We claim to love the truth," he told himself. "People have been terribly unfair about your head and nose."
His soul instructed him to flee, and he was on the verge of obeying. But he suddenly wondered why the man before him had not fled and what Isma"il would say if Kamal returned right away. No, he would not flee. He would proceed with the ordeal.
"Why are you standing there like a statue?"
"This voice shook your heart," he reminded himself. "Our ears don"t mislead us, but our ignorance may. You"ll have a good time laughing at yourself later, but you"re a winner not a deserter. Suppose life is a tragedy; still, it"s a duty to play your role in it."
"Are you going to stand like that till dawn?"
In a curiously calm voice he answered, "Let"s turn out the lights."
Sitting up in bed, she said coa.r.s.ely and cautiously, "On condition that I see you first in the light."
He asked disapprovingly, "Why?"
"So I can be sure you"re healthy."
He stripped for this medical examination. The sight seemed ludicrous to him in the extreme. Then it was pitch-black.
When he returned to the street, he took with him a dreary heart filled with sorrow. He imagined that he and everyone else were suffering from a painful decline and that their salvation was remote. He saw Isma"il coming toward him. His friend, who looked satisfied, tired, and sarcastic, asked, "How"s philosophy?"
Kamal took his arm and walked off with him, asking earnestly, "Are all women alike?"
The young man cast a questioning glance at him. After Kamal had revealed his doubts and fears in a concise fashion to Isma"il, the latter smilingly said, "In general the essential traits are the same, even if some of the accidental ones differ. You"re so laughable, you deserve pity. Should I a.s.sume from your state of mind that you"ll not be returning here again?"
"To the contrary, I"ll come back here more often than you think. Let"s have another drink". Then he continued as though to himself: "Beauty beauty! What is beauty?"
At that moment his soul yearned for purification, isolation, and meditation. He longed to remember the tormented life he had lived in the shadow of his beloved. He seemed to believe that truth would always be cruel. Should he adopt the avoidance of truth as his creed? He walked along the road to the bar, so lost in thought that he scarcely paid any attention to Isma"il"s chatter. If truth was cruel, lies were ugly.
"The problem"s not that the truth is harsh but that liberation from ignorance is as painful as being born. Run after truth until you"re breathless. Accept the pain involved in recreating yourself afresh. These ideas will take a life to comprehend, a hard one interspersed with drunken moments."
107.
KAMAL HAD come to the alley by himself this evening. Inebriated, he was singing under his breath as he made his way boldly through the boisterous tide of humanity. Finding Rose"s door vacant, he did not hesitate as he would have when first getting to know the alley. Instead, he headed straight for the house and entered without knocking. He climbed the stairs to the hallway and once there glanced at the closed door, where light was visible through the keyhole. He went to the waiting room, which fortunately was empty. He sat down in a wooden chair and stretched his legs out with satisfaction. A few minutes later he heard the door creak open and prepared to stand up. The other man"s movements as he left the bedroom and headed for the stairs were revealed by his footsteps. Kamal tarried a few moments before rising to go into the hall. Through the open door of her room he saw Rose, who was remaking the bed. When she noticed him, she smiled and called for him to sit back down a minute. He retraced his steps, smiling with the confidence of a regular customer. He soon heard someone come up the stairs, and that upset him. He hated to have to wait with other clients, but the new arrival headed for Rose"s room.
Kamal heard the woman tell this man gently, "I have a customer. Go to the parlor and wait". Then she raised her voice to summon Kamal: "Please come in."
He rose without any hesitation and ran into the new arrival in the hall, He found himself face to face with Yasin. Their stunned eyes met. Kamal immediately looked down, seething with shame, confusion, and discomfort. He was about to run off as fast as he could, but Yasin forestalled that with a laugh so loud it reverberated strangely against the hall ceiling. The youth looked up at his brother, whose arms were opened wide as he yelled delightedly, "A thousand magnificent evenings! A thousand days of imperial splendor!" He roared with laughter as the dazed Kamal stared at him. When life started to flow through the youth again, he emerged from his stupor and a quizzical smile appeared on his lips. He regained his composure but did not lose his embarra.s.sment.
In an oratorical tone, Yasin burst out, "This is a happy night: Thursday, October 28, 1926, a truly joyous evening. We"ll have to celebrate it every year, for on this night two brothers discovered each other and it was demonstrated that the baby of the family"s grown up. He"s bearing aloft the banner of our glorious traditions in the world of pleasures."
Rose walked up and asked Yasin, "Your friend?"
Laughing, Yasin replied, "No, my brother. The son of my father and No, my father"s son. That says it all. So you see, you"re the darling of the whole family, you n.o.body."
She murmured, "Swell". Then she told Kamal, "Etiquette dictates that you yield your turn to your older brother, kid."
Yasin roared his mighty laugh and said, "Etiquette dictates"! Who taught you the manners of s.e.x? Can you imagine a brother waiting outside the door? Ha-ha "
Giving him a warning look, she said, "If you laugh in that alarming way, drunkard, the police will hear. But you"re excused, since your kid brother"s always tipsy when he getshere."
Yasin looked at Kamal with astonished admiration. "You"ve learned that too!" he exclaimed. "My Lord, we really are blood brothers, in every way. Bring your mouth up close so I can smell it. But what"s the use? A drunk can"t detect the smell of liquor on anyone else"s breath. Tell me now: What"s your opinion of this wisdom you"ve gained from life instead of from books?" Then he pointed toward Rose and exclaimed, "One visit to this hussy"s equivalent to reading ten banned books. So, you get drunk, Kamal . A thousand bright days! We"ve been friends from the beginning. I"m the one who tau "
"G.o.d, G.o.d! Am I going to have to wait till daybreak?"
Yasin gave Kamal a shove and said, "You go with her, and I"ll wait."
But Kamal fell back, shaking hishead in vehement rejection. Then he spoke for the first time: "No way! Not not tonight". Putting his hand in his pocket, he took out ten piasters, which he gave to the woman.
Yasin cried out admiringly, "Long live gallantry! But I won"t let you go off alone ". Giving Rose"s shoulder a goodbye pat, he took Kamal"s arm, and they left the building together.
Yasiti was saying, "We must celebrate this evening. So let"s spend some time in a bar. I usually do my drinking on Muhammad Ali Street with a group of civil servants and some others, but it"s not an appropriate place for you, and besides, it"s far. Let"s choose somewhere nearby, so we can get home in good time. Since my latest marriage, I"m as eager as you to return home early. Where did you get drunk tonight, hero?"
Kamal stammered with embarra.s.sment, "The Finish."
"Great! Let"s go there. Take advantage of this moment and make the most of it. Tomorrow when you"re a teacher, visiting this district with its brothels and taverns will be difficult for you". Then, laughing, he continued: "Imagine one of your pupils running into you here . Even so, the field of pleasure"s wide open, and you"ll soon advance in it to ever more beautiful experiences."
They continued on to the Finish Bar in silence. Fortunately the bond between Yasin and Kamal had not been affected by Yasin"s exodus from the old house, and there was no artificial reserve between them. It was typical of Yasin to overlook his prerogatives as the eldest brother. What Kamal knew from firsthand observation of his brother"s conduct as well as from other people"s comments gave him every reason to believe that Yasin was addicted to women and easily influenced by pa.s.sion. Even so, meeting his brother at Rose"s was a violent shock, for his imagination had never pictured Yasin intoxicated or loitering down this alley. As time pa.s.sed, Kamal began to recover gradually from the shock, and his alarm began to give way to confidence and even relief. When the brothers reached the Finish, they found it packed. So Yasin suggested they take a table outside, choosing one toward the edge of the sidewalk at the corner of the street, to be as far as possible from other people. Smiling, they sat down opposite each other.
Yasin asked, "How much have you had to drink?"
Kamal answered hesitantly, "Two gla.s.ses."
"No doubt our unexpected meeting destroyed their effect. Let"s start all over. I only have a few, seven or eight ."
"You don"t say! Is that a few?"
"Skip the naive astonishment, because you"re not naive anymore."
"By the way, two months ago I didn"t even know what it tasted like."
Yasin observed disapprovingly, "It seems I"ve given you more credit than you deserve."
They laughed together, and Yasin ordered a couple of drinks. Then he renewed his questioning: "When did you meet Rose?"
"I was introduced to Rose and whiskey the same night."
"What other experiences have you had with women?"
"None."
Yasin bowed hishead slightly and looked at Kamal from beneath eyebrows contracted in a smiling frown as if to protest: "Come on now!" Then he said, "Don"t play the fool. I had many opportunities to observe your flirtations with the daughter of Abu Sari", who grills snacks. At times it was a glance, then a gesture. Remember? Pimp, these matters can"t be hidden from an expert. No doubt you were content to play with her, so you wouldn"t find yourself obliged to make Abu Sari" your father-in-law unlike my former mother-in-law, who got involved in a marriage with Bayumi the drinks seller. Yes? Now he"s a man of property and your next-door neighbor. I wonder where Maryam"s hiding. No one"sheard anything about her. Her father was a good man. Don"t you remember Mr. Muhammad Ridwan? See what"s become of his household. But it"s all a question of manners. Any woman who neglects them will find herself despised."
Kamal could not help laughing as he asked, "What about men? Can they neglect their manners without getting in trouble?"
Yasin laughed in his forceful way and replied, "Men and women are two different things, smart aleck. Tell me, how"s your mother? Is that good woman still angry at me, even after I"ve divorced Maryam?"
"I think she"s forgotten the whole affair. She has a fine heart, as you know."
Yasin endorsed his brother"s words and then shook hishead sadly. The waiter brought the drinks and the appetizers. Yasin immediately raised his gla.s.s and said, "To the health of al-Sayyid Ahmad"s family."
Kamal raised his too and drank half, hoping to regain his lost mirth. His mouth full of black bread and cheese, Yasin commented, "I imagined that, like our late brother, you resembled your mother in temperament. I thought you"d be a straight arrow, but you, but we "
Kamal cast his brother a questioning look. Yasin smilingly continued: "But we"re both created from our father"s mold."
"Our father! He"s so serious it"s hardly possible to live with him."
Yasin roared with laughter. He hesitated a little before saying, "You don"t know your father. I didn"t either, but then an entirely different man was disclosed to me, an extraordinary one". He stopped speaking.
With great curiosity and interest Kamal asked, "What do you know that I don"t?"
"I know he"s a princely wit with a deep appreciation of music. Don"t stare at me like an idiot. Don"t think I"m drunk. Your father"s a master of jests, music, and love."
"My father?"
"I learned that for the first time in the home of the singer Zubayda."
"Zubayda! What are you saying?
Ha-ha "
But since Yasin"s expression was anything but joking, Kamal stopped laughing even before his face could regain its serious look. His mouth closed gradually, until his lips were pressed together. He gazed silently at his brother"s face as Yasin related in exhaustive detail what he had seen and heard of their father.
Was Yasin fabricating lies about his father? How could that be? What motive would justify it? No, he was only telling what he knew. So this was what Kamal"s father was like.
"My Lord!" Kamal exclaimed to himself. "The seriousness, dignity, and gravity what are they? If you hear tomorrow that the earth"s flat or that mankind really did spring from Adam, don"t be surprised or alarmed."
Finally Kamal asked, "Does my mother know about this?"
Yasin laughingly replied, "She"s no doubt aware of the drinking at least."
"I wonder what effect that"s had on her," Kamal brooded. "She becomes alarmed for no reason at all. Is my mother like me in presenting a happy front while feeling wretched inside?"
As though marshaling excuseshe did not believe in, Kamal observed, "People love to exaggerate. Don"t believe everything they say. Besides, hishealth showshe"s a temperate man."
Gesturing for the waiter to bring another round, Yasin said admiringly, "He"s a marvel! His body"s a miracle. His spirit"s another. Everything about him"s miraculous, even his glib tongue". They both laughed. Then Yasin continued: "Imagine, in spite of all this, he rules his family with the firm hand you know and maintains his dignity as you can plainly see. How come I"m such a failure?"
"Consider these wonders," Kamal advised himself. "You"re drinking with Yasin. Your father"s a shameless old man. What"s genuine and what"s not? Is there any relationship between reality and what"s in our heads? What value does history have? What connection is there between the beloved A"ida and the pregnant A"ida? I myself who am I? Why did you suffer this savage pain from which you"ve yet to recover? Laugh till you"re exhausted."
"What would happen if he saw us sitting here?"