I held her gaze. She was clever. She"d asked me a question without asking me a question. She was holding back, and I understood that. This was new, shaky territory that we were in. The corners of my mouth twitched.
"Ask me something . . . intimate."
Did her breath catch?
She searched for the salt, and I picked it up as she reached for it. Instead of giving it to her, I took her hand, turning it to expose her palm. I leaned forward and licked a line across her wrist. She tasted as sweet as she smelled, and I had to hold myself back from pinning her to the floor and devouring her whole. Her eyes were fixed to mine and her mouth was parted. I poured salt across the wet mark I"d made, but didn"t let go of her hand.
Slowly she bent her head, her tongue echoing the path I"d just made, and reluctantly I let go of her hand. She threw back her shot.
Keeping her eyes on mine, she licked her fingers free of lime juice.
"Your turn," she said, shifting forward, her dress revealing the curve of her breast. I had to suppress a moan. She was so f.u.c.king beautiful.
"When you put on that dress tonight, did you want me to notice you?"
She looked away and whispered, "I always want you to notice me."
My stomach flipped. She was raising the stakes. Quickly, I did my shot. I wanted to know what was next.
"Why are you here?" she asked, looking directly at me.
It was a good question. The ultimate question. Why was I there? I was there to risk everything. I could fob her off. Tell her we were celebrating, rather than mention how I wanted to spend every last moment of this evening with her. It was as though this urge to be with her had broken free within me and now was overwhelming my every thought, my every action.
"Because I want to kiss you," I said. It had been true since I"d first seen her in that dress; it just wasn"t the whole truth.
Her cheeks flushed, and she looked away. "All of a sudden?" she asked, suspicion in her voice.
"Hey, you can"t have two questions in a row. Do your shot," I said, using her words against her. "Do you want me to help?"
"I think I can manage this time."
I needed her to digest what I"d said. I wanted to give her time to think about whether or not she wanted to kiss me. Would I have to convince her to kiss me back?
Without sparing me a single glance, she went through the tequila ritual, squeezing her eyes shut at the burn of the alcohol.
"My turn." My heart was beating through my chest. "So you have to tell me the truth, whatever it is," I said, reminding her that there would be no way out of this question. She nodded. "Do you want me to kiss you?"
She looked away as if I"d wounded her. "Luke," she said. "You can"t ask me that." Her voice was soft, sad even.
"Why?" I was genuinely confused.
"Because you know the answer," she said.
"I do?" Maybe I did. Maybe there had always been something beneath the joking and the teasing that felt true.
"You know that I"ve wanted you to kiss me since forever. I might joke about us, but it doesn"t mean that I"m not serious."
My heart clenched at her honesty. It was one of the many things I loved about her. We didn"t need to play truth or dare. Every conversation with Ash was honest.
I took a deep breath. This was it. This was the point of no return. I downed my shot of tequila. No salt, no lime. "You"re beautiful." I leaned forward, my hand on the back of her neck.
"Luke," she whispered. It was half warning me away, half calling me home.
I was close enough to feel her breath against my lips. I moved forward and pressed my mouth against hers. She was soft and open, and I pushed my tongue into her mouth, wanting to taste more of her, all of her.
Ashleigh Luke was kissing me.
Luke was kissing me! I felt it in every inch of my body. I wasn"t quite sure how we ended up that way. All I knew was how right it felt, how it was as I"d always imagined it would be-perfect. He was strong and firm and eager-so eager-as if he"d forgotten it was me. As though he"d forgotten our history and all the complications that this kiss brought. Everything disappeared with the press of his lips.
He let out a small, contented sigh and pulled away from me slightly. "You"re so beautiful," he whispered. It was what I"d always wanted to hear from him, but now I had, it didn"t seem real somehow.
"Is that the tequila talking?" I asked softly, confused by what seemed such a sudden change of heart. Luke pulled back even more and moved to sit on the sofa. I"d ruined the moment, broken the spell. But then he held out his hand to me. I took it, and he coaxed me onto his lap.
He stroked my back as he buried his head in my neck. "No . . . I don"t know. I think it"s been building for a while, and I"ve only now noticed. I was surprised that I didn"t really like you dating Richard. I couldn"t figure out why it bothered me, and then tonight, when I saw you, I realized."
"Realized?" I asked.
He brushed the hair from my neck and bent to kiss it. "Yeah, that I wanted to kiss you."
It wasn"t much of an explanation, but my brain was foggy with confusion and l.u.s.t and tequila. My body bowed toward his as if I were under his total control. He trailed kisses down my collarbone. Did I need to know everything, right at this second? As if answering my question, his mouth met mine again, his tongue running along the seam of my lips. Did he feel what I was feeling? I reached for him. Completed our connection. I never wanted to let him go.
My hands roamed across his chest. I"d always imagined what it would feel like, but he was harder than I had expected, more defined. He shifted underneath me and groaned. I stilled for a moment, wondering briefly if I shouldn"t be touching him. "Don"t stop," he whispered, and he moved me off his lap and pushed me down on the sofa, crawling over me.
He kneed my legs apart and looked at me before diving for my mouth again. I could feel him properly now. He was hard against my thigh. He wanted me. In a way I never thought he would, he wanted me. This had been building in me for fifteen years, but somehow it had all happened so fast. It was nothing I"d expected.
"Jesus, you taste so good, Ash. How did I not know you tasted like this?" he asked, pressing kisses between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
My skin heated everywhere he touched. His words, his fingers, his lips-they all conspired to pull me under. It felt so good-almost too good.
"Luke," I said softly. He didn"t seem to hear me. "Luke," I repeated. I put my hands on either side of his face.
He looked at me, his eyes burning.
"What are we doing?" I asked.
He dropped a kiss on my lips then moved to my side. With his leg slung over mine, he propped his head up on his hand. "You don"t want this?" he asked as he trailed his hand up and down my body.
"Yes, of course, but . . ."
"But you wonder what happens next: Will we still be friends? What will Haven say? Will it be good?"
I smiled at him. "Yeah. That"s pretty much it."
He nodded. "That"s all I"ve been thinking about all night. Well, in between wondering how you"d taste, what it would feel like to be buried in you and what you look like when you come."
"Luke," I said, embarra.s.sed.
"I can"t help it. It"s like someone"s opened a door, and I"ve stepped through to this different world. There"s no going back."
I placed my hand on my chest to try to calm my heart. "Do you think we should slow down?" I asked. We were moving quickly, and soon we would be at a point where things would change forever.
"Whatever you want. I don"t want to push you into anything. My heart and my groin are saying one thing, but maybe my brain is in synch with yours."
"I"m pretty sure our groins are in agreement, too," I said with a laugh.
Luke grinned at me. "You have the most fantastic smile. I"ve always thought so."
"Let"s make a promise that whatever happens tonight, we make sure we"re always family."
"That"s non-negotiable as far as I"m concerned," he said with that s.e.xy grin that had made my insides melt since forever.
"Then kiss me." I was giving him, and myself, permission to cross the line of no return.
I could tell by the way he looked at me that he knew what I was saying. He searched my face, maybe to find a trace of doubt, but I knew there wasn"t any. He stood and held out his hand to me. The nerves in my stomach danced as I took it. He led me down the corridor to my bedroom.
What if it wasn"t good? What if he had some weird kink I couldn"t get into? What happened if my body didn"t respond to him the way my mind did?
"Are you nervous?" he asked as we stepped inside my bedroom.
"A little," I replied, breathlessly.
He swept a hand down my back then pulled me toward him. "Me too," he said. I"d never known Luke to be nervous about anything. Could he be nervous about being with me?
Our bodies were pressed against each other. I reached for the b.u.t.tons of his shirt, methodically undoing the first, the second. I steadied my breathing then tackled the third. I trailed my finger down his exposed skin, eliciting a sharp intake of breath. I loved that I could do that to him.
He trailed his fingers round my neck and pushed the shoulders of my dress off. The fabric was loose, and as I put my arms to my sides, it just slipped off my body and pooled at my feet. I watched Luke, his eyes growing wider as they flitted across my body. He looked away and took a breath.
"You"re so beautiful. I don"t know where to start." He brushed my cheek with his knuckle. I finished unb.u.t.toning his shirt. He was straining through his pants. I was desperate to get to what was next. Before I started on his zipper, I palmed him through the tight fabric and he groaned, his hands going to my shoulders.
"Jesus, Ash. I . . ." He moved me toward the bed and pushed me gently back. "Lie down. I want to taste you while I get a grip on myself."
I lay back on the bed, lifting my bottom to allow him to remove my underwear. He knelt by the bed and held my thighs wide. There was no room for self-consciousness. He knew me better than anyone in my life other than Haven. Him seeing me like this felt totally right.
His tongue seemed to know my body even better than his mind did, and as it circled my c.l.i.toris, I was lost. I arched off the bed, and Luke slid his hands under my a.s.s and pulled me toward him, intensifying the pressure, the pleasure. I cried out his name, a prayer; I had no idea. I had lost control over my mind, body and heart.
Luke Watching her body shudder with the aftershocks of the o.r.g.a.s.m I"d just given her made me feel like a f.u.c.king G.o.d. She was so perfect. Perfect for me. I"d been an idiot, not seeing it all these years. I think I"d always known, but there had been some kind of invisible barrier keeping me away.
I stood over her, as she recovered from her first o.r.g.a.s.m of the evening. I couldn"t wait to get her to the next one. I quickly undressed, my hard-on verging on painful, soothed only by the thought of being inside her.
"f.u.c.k," I said, suddenly remembering I didn"t have any condoms.
Ash snapped her head up to look at me.
"I didn"t bring any condoms. Do you have any?" I asked.
She shook her head. I collapsed on my back on the bed. This couldn"t be happening. It was a promise I"d made to myself when I was seventeen that I would never have s.e.x without protection. It was one of the last pieces of advice my father had given me before he"d died. He"d told me that I needed to do everything I could to prevent my girlfriend from getting pregnant-or worse. It was good advice that I"d followed with no exceptions. Not even with Emma.
We lay next to each other. Would not using anything with Ash be the wrong thing to do? If Ash got pregnant, how would I react? Panic didn"t sweep over me like it did when Emma talked about marriage and children, but maybe it was l.u.s.t keeping those feelings at bay.
"I"ve never . . ." she said. "I"m on the pill."
It was all the encouragement I needed. "I"ve never, not once. Not with anyone. I"m safe. Are you sure?"
She smiled and nodded. I moved my body over hers and bent to kiss her, slowly, patiently, my tongue exploring her mouth. Her hands gripped my a.s.s and her nails sank into my flesh.
"Jesus, I need to be inside you."
She opened her legs in response, inviting me in. I positioned myself at her entrance, desperate to feel her around me, but at the same time I wanted this delicious torture to go on forever. She thrust her hips forward.
"Patience," I teased her.
"Oh, I think I"ve been patient long enough," she said.
I sank into her slowly, inch by inch, reveling in the sensation of heat between us. I had to still when I got as deep as I could go. I needed to empty my head of the reality of what was between us, what was happening. If I didn"t, this would be over too quickly, and I never wanted this to be over.
I started to move out of her slowly, watching her, wanting to see what she was feeling by looking at her beautiful face. Her mouth formed a perfect "O" as I dragged my flesh against hers.
"Ash," I whispered.
"You feel so good," she replied.
I responded by slamming back into her. I couldn"t stop myself. My body had overtaken my head. I needed to f.u.c.k her.
Small noises I"d never heard her make before slipped from her lips. The Ash underneath me was someone I"d never known before. I pushed my face into her neck and licked, wanting to taste the sheen developing on her skin. It was like nectar, and I bit down wanting more of it. She clenched around me, and I groaned as I dragged myself out of her. I was so hard, so close, so ready, but I wanted her there again, with me this time. I didn"t know how her body worked yet. I didn"t know what her turn-ons were. I grinned at the thought that I would be learning all of them very soon.
Without breaking our contact, I leaned back on my knees, lifting her a.s.s to rest on my thighs. I ran my hands down her body, pinching one nipple, then the other, interrupting the movement of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s as they shifted in time with my thrusts. I wouldn"t be able to hold myself back for long. My palm smoothed across her taut stomach, then lower until my thumb found her c.l.i.toris. She moaned as she flung her hands over her head, grabbing at the pillows behind her.
"Is that what you like?" I asked. "You like me to rub you while I"m f.u.c.king you?"
Her breaths were short and tight, and our eyes locked together as her mouth opened a fraction wider, giving me my answer.
"More, please G.o.d, more," she said breathlessly.
"I want you to come for me," I said as I increased my pace.
"Please, more," she replied. She looked so f.u.c.king beautiful-undone, open, mine.
I thrust harder and faster, gritting my teeth, trying to stop myself from falling before her. Then she was there; her back arched and she shuddered. And all the while her eyes were fixed on mine. I emptied myself into her, coming so strongly I thought I might pa.s.s out-a combination of the exertion and the ecstasy.
I collapsed on top of her and then moved to the side, pulling her closer. She was precious, like an abandoned treasure I"d finally found. I never wanted to let her go. I was still panting as I pressed my lips to her temple. "You"re amazing."
We lay there, our breathing returning to normal, until Ash tried to move out of my arms. I pulled her closer.
"I need to go to the bathroom," she said.
"Don"t be long," I said, not wanting to lose contact with her for a second. I would have followed her if she wouldn"t think I was a total lunatic. "Water?" I asked and she nodded.
I came back to the bedroom from the kitchen with two gla.s.ses of water at the same time Ash returned wearing a t-shirt.