The shout which was raised at her reply speedily brought poor Fraulein back to her senses, and murmuring:
"Ach, so! I think I come _veruckt_," she hurried off down the hall with the girls" laughter still ringing in her ears.
CHAPTER XVIII
THE LITTLE HINGE
The day before the dance was to be given Toinette wrote her second letter, arguing that when everybody else had so much to occupy their thoughts they would have little time to notice other people"s doings, and the letter could be mailed without exciting comment. Waiting until the very last moment, she ran down to the mail-basket to slip the letter in it un.o.bserved. As ill-luck would have it, Miss Preston also had a letter to be slipped in at the last moment, and she and Toinette came face to face.
It was too late to retreat, for the letter was in her hand in plain view, so, forced into an awkward position, she made a bad matter worse. Dropping the letter quickly into the basket, she said:
"Just a note for papa about something I want for the dance to-morrow, Miss Preston; I didn"t think you"d care, and I hadn"t time to do it earlier,"
and, with flaming cheeks, she turned to go away.
"Wait just one moment, dear," said Miss Preston, "I"ve something to say to you. Walk down to my room with me, please," and she slipped her arm about the girl"s waist.
No more was needed, and all the suspicion and rebellion in Toinette"s nature rose up to do battle with--windmills. It was a hard young face that looked defiantly at Miss Preston.
"Toinette, dear, I want to have a little talk with you," she said, as she locked the door of her sitting-room, and, seating herself upon the divan, drew Toinette down beside her.
Toinette never changed her expression, but looked straight before her with a most uncompromising stare.
"You said just now that you did not think I would care if you sent a note to your father; why should I, sweetheart?"
It must have been a stubborn heart, indeed, which could resist Miss Preston"s sweet tone.
"Oh, I don"t know, but teachers always seem to mind every little thing one does," replied Toinette, sulkily.
"It seems to me that this would be entirely too "little a thing" for a teacher or anyone else to mind. Don"t you think so yourself?"
"Well, of course, I didn"t think you would mind simply because I wrote to papa, but because I posted the letter without first letting you read it,"
answered Toinette.
Now, indeed, was Miss Preston learning something new, and not even a child could have questioned that her surprise was genuine when she exclaimed:
"Read your letters, my dear little girl! What are you saying?" and a slight flush overspread her refined face.
It was now Toinette"s turn to be surprised as she asked:
"Isn"t that the rule here, Miss Preston?"
"Is it anywhere? I can hardly believe it. One"s correspondence is a very sacred thing, Toinette, and I would as soon be guilty of listening at another person"s door as of reading a letter intended for another"s eyes.
Oh, my little girl, what mischief has been at work here?"
While Miss Preston was speaking Toinette had risen to her feet, her eyes shining like stars, and her color coming and going rapidly. Now, taking both Miss Preston"s hands in her own, she said, in a voice which quivered with excitement:
"Is that _truly_ true, Miss Preston? Aren"t the girls" letters ever read?
Haven"t mine been? _Do_ you trust me like that?"
Miss Preston looked the girl fairly in the eyes as she answered:
"I trust you as I trust the others, because I feel you to be a gentlewoman, and, as such, you would be as reluctant to do anything liable to cast discredit upon yourself as I would be to have you. I do not wish my girls to fear but to love me, with all their hearts, and to trust me as I trust them. I do not expect you to be perfect; we all make mistakes; I make many, but we can help each other, dear, and remember this: "Love casteth out fear." Try to love me, my little girl, and to feel that I am your friend; I want so much to be."
Miss Preston"s voice was very sweet and appealing, and as she spoke Toinette"s eyes grew limpid. Miss Preston still held her hands, and, as she finished speaking, the girl dropped upon her knees and clasped her arms about her waist, buried her face in her lap and burst into a storm of sobs. All the pent-up feeling, the longing, the struggle, the yearning for tenderness of the past lonely years was finding an outlet in the bitter, bitter sobs which shook her slight frame.
Although Miss Preston knew comparatively little of the girl"s former life, she had learned enough from Mr. Reeve, and observed enough in the girl herself, to understand that this outburst was not wholly the result of what had just pa.s.sed between them. So, gently stroking the pretty golden hair, she wisely waited for the grief to spend itself before she resumed her talk, and, when the poor little trembling figure was more composed, said:
"My poor little Toinette, let us begin a brand new leaf to-day--"thee and me," as the Quakers so prettily put it. Let us try to believe that even though I have spent thirty more years on this big world than you have, that we can still be good friends, and sympathize with each other either in sunshine or shadow. To do this two things are indispensible: confidence and love. And we can never have the latter without first winning the former. Remember this, dear, I shall never doubt you. Whatever happens, you may rest firm in the conviction that I shall always accept your word when it is given. Our self-respect suffers when we are doubted, and one"s self-respect is a very precious thing, and not to be lightly tampered with."
[Ill.u.s.tration: "LET US BEGIN A BRAND NEW LEAF TO-DAY."]
She now drew Toinette back to the couch beside her, put her arm about her waist, and let the tired head rest upon her shoulder. The girl had ceased to sob, but looked worn and weary. Miss Preston snuggled her close and waited for her to speak, feeling sure that more was in her heart, and that, in a nature such as she felt Toinette"s to be, it would be impossible for her to rest content until all doubts, all self-reproach could be put behind her.
She sat perfectly still for a long time, her hands clasped in her lap, and her big, brown eyes, into which had crept a wonderfully soft expression, looking far away beyond the walls of Miss Preston"s sitting-room, far beyond the bedroom next it, and off to some lonely, unsatisfied years, when she had lived in a sort of truce with all about her, never knowing just when hostilities might be renewed. It had acted upon the girl"s sensitive nature much as a chestnut-p.r.i.c.kle acts upon the average mortal; a nasty, little, irritating thing, hard to discover, a sc.r.a.p of a thing when found--if, indeed, it does not succeed in eluding one altogether--and so insignificant that one wonders how it could cause such discomfort. But it is those miserable little chestnut-p.r.i.c.kles that are hardest to bear in this life, and so warp one"s character that it is often unfitted to bear the heavier burdens which must come into all lives sooner or later.
CHAPTER XIX
"FATAL OR FATED ARE MOMENTS"
"n.o.body has ever spoken to me as you have, Miss Preston," Toinette began presently, "and I can"t tell you how I feel. Maybe heaven will be better, but I don"t believe I shall ever feel any happier than I feel this minute.
It seems as though I"d been living in a sort of prison, all shut up in the dark, and that now I am out in the sunshine and as free as the birds. But I must tell you something more: I can"t rest content unless I do. The letter I posted to-day wasn"t to papa, I sent it to Howard Elting, in Branton, and it isn"t the first I"ve written him, either. I didn"t lie about the other one, Miss Preston; I was ready to mail it, but lost it; I don"t know how. Somebody must have found it and posted it, for he got it and answered it, and I was so puzzled over it that I wrote again. That was the letter you saw me post. Now, that is the truth, and I know that you believe me."
Toinette had spoken very rapidly, scarcely pausing for breath, and when she finished gave a relieved little sigh and looked Miss Preston squarely in the eyes. Truly, her self-respect was regained.
Will some of my readers say: "What a tempest in a teapot?" To many this may seem a very trivial affair, but how small a thing can influence our lives! A breath, the pa.s.sing of a summer shower, may help or hinder plans which alter our entire lives. And Miss Preston was wise enough to understand it. Here was a beautiful soul given for a time into her keeping. Now, at the period of its keenest receptive powers, a delicate and sensitive thing needing very gentle handling.
Stroking the head again resting upon her shoulder, as though it had found a safe and happy haven after having been tossed about upon a troubled sea, she said, quietly:
"I posted the letter, dear; I found it in the hall where it had been dropped; it never occurred to me that there was any cause for concealment; the girls all correspond with their friends; it is an understood thing. I recognized your writing, and, as I had friends at Branton, I wrote to ask if they knew the person written to. They replied that they did, and told me who he was. Knowing how few friends you have, I wrote to this boy asking him to come to our dance to-morrow night, because I thought the little surprise might give you pleasure, and you would be glad to welcome an old friend. Does it please you, my little girl?"
"Oh, Miss Preston!" was all Toinette said, but those three words meant a great deal.
The dressing-bell now rang, and Toinette sprang up with rather a dismayed look. As though she interpreted it, Miss Preston said:
"You are in no condition to meet the other girls to-night, dear. They cannot understand your feelings, and, without meaning to be unkind or curious, would ask questions which it would embarra.s.s you to answer. You are nervous and unstrung, so lie down on my couch and I will see that your dinner is brought up. I shall say to the other girls that you are not feeling well, and that it would be better not to disturb you." Then, going into her bedroom, Miss Preston quickly made her own toilet. She had just finished it when the chimes called all to dinner, and, stooping over Toinette, she kissed her softly and slipped from the room.
Some very serious thoughts pa.s.sed through Toinette"s head during the ensuing fifteen minutes, and some resolutions were formed which were held to as long as she lived.
A tap at the door, and a maid entered with a dainty dinner. Placing a little stand close to the couch, she put the tray upon it, and then asked: "Can I do anything more for you, Miss Toinette?"
"No, thank you, Helma. This is very tempting."