Captain Jinks, Hero

Chapter 31

"Yes, they fought for freedom, that"s true. And what are the Cubapinos fighting for?" asked the young man.

"Oh, shucks!" cried Reddy. "I ain"t a-going to argher with you. What were we talking about? Oh, yes. We were saying that them societies fight together. They do fight a good deal, that"s a fact, and there"s no end of trouble in our militia battalion too. They all want to be captain, and they don"t get on somehow as well as the fire companies.

But still it"s a fine thing to see all this military spirit. I didn"t see a uniform for years, and now you can"t hire a man to dig a ditch who hasn"t got a stripe on one leg of his trousers at any rate. Girls like soldiers, I tell you, and they like pensions too. I"ve just got married myself. My wife is seventeen. Now I"ve drawed my pension for nearly forty years, and she"ll draw it for sixty more if she has any luck; that"ll make over a hundred. That"s something like. Why, if one of these fellows is twenty now and marries a girl of seventeen when he"s ninety, and she lives till she"s ninety, they can keep drawing money for a hundred and fifty years, and no mistake. It"s better than a savings bank. Here they come!"

The procession had formed round the corner at the other end of the main street, and now the band began to play, and the column could be seen advancing. First the band pa.s.sed with an escort of small boys running along in the gutter on either side. Then came two carriages containing the heroes, two in each. They held themselves stiffly and took off their hats, and no one would have supposed that they had drunk too much if the fact had not been universally understood by the public. Behind them came a line of other carriages in which were seated the magnates of the town, including the office-holders and the prominent business men. They all had that self-important air which is inseparable from such shows and which denotes that the individual is feeling either like a great man or a fool. Then came the militia battalion, a rather shamefaced lot of young men who seemed to be painfully aware that they were not at all real heroes like the soldiers in the carriages, but merely make-believe imitations. The patriotic societies followed, genuine and non-genuine, resplendent in "insignia," sashes, and badges.

"There"s my wife, she"s a G.C.M.C.T.C.," said Reddy proudly, pointing out a very plain young woman with gold spectacles. "And here come the Genuine Ancestors of Future Veterans. See that old woman there on the other side? She made all the fuss. You see when anybody wants to get into a society and finds they can"t get in they go off and start another. And some people that hadn"t any tax collectors or connections or anything, they just got up the "Ancestors of Future Veterans," and everybody in town wanted to get into that. And old Miss Blunt there, she wanted to come in too, and she"s over seventy, and they said she couldn"t be an ancestor nohow, and she said she could and she would, and they voted forty-one to forty against her, and the forty went off and founded the Genuine Ancestors, and they"re twice as big as the others now. Hear "em applaud?"

The old lady walked along with a martial tread, and was loudly cheered as she pa.s.sed.

"Now we"d better get into the church if we want seats," said the young man, and Cleary followed him, leaving the ancient warrior behind. The church was very crowded and very hot, and Cleary had to sit on a step of the platform, but it was an exhibition of patriotism worth beholding. The band played with great gusto, and the whole audience was at the highest pitch of excitement. The chairman made an address, and Josh Thatcher responded in a few words for himself and his three companions. Then flowers were presented to them, and a little girl recited the "Charge of the Light Brigade," but the main feature of the program was the oration of Dr. Taylor, the pastor of the church. He was famed as an orator not only in his denomination and in the county but in the National Order of Total Abstinence, of which he was a leading light. In his address he welcomed the four heroes back to their hearths and firesides. He thanked them for having conquered so many lands and spread the blessings of civilization and Christianity to the ends of the earth.

"We have been told, my friends, by wicked and unpatriotic scoffers, that these wars have stirred up the pa.s.sions of our people, that there are more lynchings and deeds of violence than ever before, and that negro soldiers returning from the war have shot down citizens from car-windows. I have even been told that its effect is to be seen in the attempts of worthy citizens, including a distinguished judge, to have the whipping-post reestablished in our midst. I can only say for myself that such traitors and traducers should be the first victims of the whipping-post. (Cheers.) So far from crime having increased since the departure of these young heroes, I can testify that there has been a marked decrease in our community. Since they left, not a single barn has been burned, not a chicken stolen. My friend, Mrs. Crane, informs me that she keeps more chickens than ever before, and that she has not missed one in over a year. I am also told that during the absence of these young men the amount of liquor drunk in our town has sensibly diminished. The war then has been a blessing to us and to our nation."

During these remarks Josh Thatcher, who was sitting in the front row, gave sundry digs in the ribs to his cousin Tom, and they both laughed aloud.

"We welcome our heroes back," continued the orator. "We open our arms to them. All that we have is theirs. We applaud their manly courage and Christian self-sacrifice. We shall never, never forget their services, and we shall recite their n.o.ble deeds to our children and to our children"s children."

The meeting broke up with three cheers and a tiger for each of the four heroes. For an hour later the crowds stood in the street talking over the great events of the day, each of the young veterans forming the center of an admiring group, Tom Thatcher being surrounded by a bevy of pretty girls who seemed to find nothing objectionable in his pimpled face and hoa.r.s.e voice. Cleary stood for a long time watching them and talking with the insurance man.

"It"s their night," said the latter, "but it won"t last long. We know them too well. When the barns begin to burn again, folks"ll all know what it means. I wish they"d keep a war going a long way off forever for these fellows. It would be a good riddance. And that"s all talk of old Taylor"s anyway. He won"t take them to his heart, not by a great deal. I heard Dave Black ask him for a job to-day, and he wants a man too, and he said, "What--an ex-soldier? Not much!" The words were out of his mouth before he knew what he"d said. He"s a slick one."

When Cleary returned to Mr. Jinks" house, he found Sam much worse, and the gravest fears were entertained as to his recovery. In the morning he was a little easier, and Cleary was able to have a little talk with him before he left. Sam had been told by the doctor that his condition was serious, and he had no desire to get well.

"You must brace up, old man," said Cleary cheerily. "I"ll come back in a few days and we"ll lay out our plans for the future. You"re the finest soldier that ever lived, and I haven"t done with you yet."

"Don"t say that, don"t say that!" cried Sam. "I"m no soldier at all. I wanted to be a perfect soldier, and I can"t. It"s that that"s breaking my heart. I don"t mind the nomination for President nor anything else in comparison. My poor wife! Why did I let her marry a coward like me?

I can"t tell you now, but if I"m alive when you come here again I"ll tell you all."

"Nonsense, old man," said Cleary. "You"ve got the fever on you again.

It"s in your blood. When it gets out, you"ll be all right."

It was with tears in his eyes that Cleary bade his friend good-by, for he could see that he was a very sick man. It was impossible, however, for him to remain longer, and as Sam"s wife and cousin were there to nurse him, and his father and mother had been telegraphed for, he felt that there was no necessity for him to remain.

After the lapse of three weeks Cleary received the sad news that Sam had shown unmistakable signs of insanity and had been removed to an insane asylum. His father wrote that while his insanity was of a mild form, the doctors thought it best for him to be placed in an inst.i.tution where he could receive the most scientific treatment. Six months later Cleary, who was now one of the editors of the _Lyre_, went on a sad pilgrimage to see his friend. The asylum was several hours away from the metropolis beyond East Point, and was none other than the great building which they had described to the chief of the Moritos. Cleary took a carriage at the station and drove to his destination, and at last arrived at the huge edifice in the midst of its wide domain. He went into the reception-room and explained his errand. After a while a young doctor came to him, and told him that he could have an interview with Captain Jinks at once, and offered to act as his guide. It was a long walk through corridors and pa.s.sages and up winding stairs to Sam"s apartment, and Cleary questioned the doctor as they went.

"Captain Jinks is a dear fellow," said the doctor in response to his inquiries. "We are all fond of him. At first he was a little intractable and denied our right to direct him, but now that we"ve got it all down on a military basis, he will do anything we tell him. I believe he would walk out of the window if I ordered him too. But I have to put on a military coat to make him obey. We keep one on purpose. As soon as he sees it on anybody he"s as obedient as a child.

He"s such a perfect gentleman, too. It"s a very sad case. Here"s his room."

The doctor knocked.

"Who goes there?" cried a husky voice, which Cleary hardly recognized as Sam"s.

"A friend," answered the doctor.

"Advance, friend, and give the countersign," said the same voice.

"Old Gory!" cried the doctor, with most unmilitary emphasis, and he opened the door and they entered.

Cleary saw what seemed to be the shadow of Sam, pale, haggard, and emaciated, sitting in a shabby undress uniform before a large deal table. Upon the table was a most elaborate arrangement of books and blocks of wood, apparently representing fortifications, which were manned by a dilapidated set of lead soldiers--the earliest treasures of Sam"s boyhood, which had been sent to him from home at his request.

Sam did not lift his eyes from the table, and moved the men about with his hand as if he were playing a game of chess.

"Here is a friend of yours to see you, Captain," said the doctor.

Sam slowly raised his head and looked at Cleary for some time without recognizing him. Gradually a faint smile made its appearance.

"I know you," he said in the same strained voice. "I know you.

You"re----"

"Cleary," said Cleary.

"Cleary? Cleary? Let me see. Why, to be sure, you"re Cleary." And he rose from his chair unsteadily and took the hand that Cleary offered him.

"How are you, old man? I"m so glad to see you again," said Cleary.

"And so am I," said Sam, who now seemed to be almost his old self again. "Sit down."

Cleary drew up a chair to the table, while the doctor retired and shut the door.

"How are you getting on?" said Cleary. "You"re going to get well soon, aren"t you?"

"I am well now," said Sam. "I was awfully ill, I know that, but it all came from my mind. I think I told you that. My heart was breaking because I couldn"t be a perfect soldier. I had to face the question and grapple with it. It was an awful experience; I can"t bear to speak of it or even think of it. But I won. I"m a perfect soldier now! I can do anything with my men here, and I will obey any order I receive, I don"t care what it is."

As he spoke of his experience a pained expression came over his face, but he looked proud and almost happy when he announced the result of the conflict.

"They say I"m a lunatic, I know they do," he continued, looking round to see that no one else was present, and lowering his voice to a whisper. "They say I"m a lunatic, but I"m not. When they say I"m a lunatic they mean I"m a perfect soldier--a complete soldier. And they call those fine fellows lead soldiers! Lunatics and lead soldiers indeed! Well, suppose we are! I tell you an army of lead soldiers with a lunatic at the head would be the best army in the world. We do what we"re told, and we"re not afraid of anything."

Sam stopped talking at this juncture and went on for some time in silence maneuvering his troops. Finally he picked up the colonel with the white plume, and a ray of light from the afternoon sun fell upon it, and he held it before him, gazing upon it entranced. The door opened, and the doctor entered.

"I fear you must go now, Mr. Cleary. He can"t stand much excitement.

He"s quiet now. Just come out with me without saying anything," and Cleary followed him out of the room, while Sam sat motionless with his eyes fixed on his talisman.

"He sits like that for hours," said the doctor. "It"s a kind of hypnotism, I think, which we don"t quite understand yet. I am writing up the case for _The Medical Gazette_. It"s a peculiar kind of insanity, this preoccupation with uniforms and soldiers, and the readiness to do anything a man in regimentals tells him to."

"It"s rather more common, perhaps, out of asylums than in them,"

muttered Cleary, but the doctor did not hear him. "Do you think he will ever recover, doctor?" he continued.

The doctor shook his head ominously.

"And will he live to old age in this condition?"

"He might, if there were nothing else the matter with him, but there is, and perhaps it"s a fortunate thing. He"s got a new disease called filariasis, a sort of low fever that he picked up in the Cubapines or Porsslania. There"s a good deal of it among the soldiers who have come back. We have a lot of lunatics from the army here and several of them have this new fever too. It wouldn"t kill him alone, either, but the two things together will surely carry him off. He will hardly live another half-year."

"I suppose his family is looking out for him?" said Cleary.

"His mother visits him pretty regularly, and his father comes sometimes," said the doctor, "but I think his wife has only been here twice. And she"s living at East Point, too, only an hour or two away.

She"s a born flirt, and I think she"s tired of him. I"m told that one of this year"s graduates there, a fellow named Saunders, is paying attention to her, and when the poor captain dies, I doubt if she remains long a widow."

[Ill.u.s.tration: HARMLESS "HE SITS LIKE THAT FOR HOURS"]

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