I didn"t have much time to ponder about my feelings though, because seconds after rearranging the dresser, it was shoved out of the way.
"I thought monsters had to be invited in," I exclaimed when Noah stepped through my doorway with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and a look of determination etched on his face.
Stalking into the lounge, Noah slammed a bottle of Jameson on the coffee table with a loud bang before turning around and glaring at me.
"We"re not done here," he told me in a low, warning tone, eyes locked on my face, daring me to push him.
"I think we are," I shot back, red-faced, as I backed into the kitchen and far away from the professional fighter in my apartment. Anger was radiating off Noah in waves and suddenly I wasn"t feeling as brave as before.
"No, Thorn, we"re not."
With eyes dark and full of bad intentions, Noah took a step forward and I automatically took a step back. I felt a shiver of fear run down my spine. If he touched me again I was f.u.c.ked. If he touched me, I may as well break my own heart. That"s how toxic he was to me.
That trickle of fear quickly faded when he crouched down and lifted Hope into his arms. "Which room is hers?" he asked me, standing slowly with my best friend snoring loudly, cradled in his arms.
Ignoring the weird fluttering I had in my chest from the sight of Noah taking care of his niece so tenderly, I muttered, "first door on the right," before busying myself with draining the contents of my wine gla.s.s. I quickly refilled it, only to guzzle it down again.
I watched out of the corner of my eye as Noah marched down our small hallway and used his foot to nudge open Hope"s bedroom door before slipping inside.
He returned a moment later, looking calmer than he had when he arrived. His presence was still overwhelming me, but he wasn"t being hostile. In fact, his mood seemed eerily calm and I found myself easing my finger off the mental defensive trigger inside of my brain the one I kept c.o.c.ked and ready to strike when threatened.
"I was going to do that," I garbled, with my lips around my gla.s.s. Actually, I had planned to cover her with a blanket because there was no way I could lift Hope by myself. Skinny as she was, Hope had at least four inches on me, and twenty pounds of bone weight but he didn"t need to know that.
His dark eyes traveled past me, looking around briefly, before returning to my face. "It"s done now."
"You"ve changed," I blurted out, taking in his beautiful, hard features. He was crueler now. Prison had turned him darker. Meaner. "You"re...different."
"I didn"t have much of a choice, Thorn," Noah replied in a flat tone. Wandering over to the coffee table, he retrieved his bottle and put it to his mouth, swallowing deeply. "It was fight or die in there."
Like always...
"I"m not talking about that, Noah." Clasping my hands in front of my stomach, I studied the beautiful, cold man standing in my apartment. "You"re different...with me."
c.o.c.king his brow, Noah seemed to ponder my reply for a moment before nodding his head and taking another deep swig from his bottle. "But you still want me."
It wasn"t a question. It was a boldfaced statement and one I venomously rejected. "I do not," I snapped, red-faced and lying through my teeth. "I stopped wanting you a long time ago, Noah," I added shakily.
"Of course you did," he surprised me by saying as he walked around aimlessly. "This is a good apartment." He stopped at the window and took a slug out of his bottle before looking out. "Nice view."
Oh, so we were doing pleasantries now?
Fine, I could do that too.
"Hope owns the place," I replied, squeezing the stem of my gla.s.s so hard I was surprised it didn"t crack in my hand. Normally, I wasn"t much of a drinker, but with Noah in close proximity, there wasn"t a brewery in the country that could have stocked enough alcohol to keep my frazzled nerves at bay.
"I just rent the spare room," I heard myself say before swallowing down another gulp. The wine hit the pit of my stomach and created a pooling burning sensation. I felt myself growing lightheaded.
"Does she do that often?" he finally asked. Wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb, Noah gestured to the coffee table to where Hope had pa.s.sed out.
"No she does not make a habit out of getting inebriated and pa.s.sing out." Hope was my best friend and I felt incredibly protective of her. Having Noah question her morals irked me. "She"s in a bad place right now," I found myself explaining. "Don"t be so quick to judge her, Noah not when you don"t know the facts."
With a hiss of annoyance Noah shot towards me, faster than I antic.i.p.ated, and I had to force myself not to squirm. The second he slapped the bottle down on the countertop beside me and stepped into my personal s.p.a.ce, the atmosphere around us crackled with intensity. "Like me?" Noah asked me in a heated tone, stepping closer, backing me up against the fridge. His dark brown eyes penetrated me, cracking me clean open, making me feel more exposed than if I were naked and spread open for him.
Suddenly, the air around us became thick and muggy.
"What do you mean like you?" My question was a breathy whisper and my skin flushed with heat; I had to suppress the urge to fan my face.
"You were quick to judge me without knowing the facts." Noah"s breath flooded my senses and I could practically taste the mint and alcohol on his tongue.
Leaning forward, Noah placed his hands on either side of my head, surrounding me, caving me in. "You left me in Thirteenth Street to rot," he whispered softly. "Threw in the towel when I needed you most."
"You cheated on me, Noah," I choked out, red faced and eyes watering with temper. All the emotions I felt when I was seventeen came back full force, smothering my heart and sabotaging my ability to rationalize the situation. "I can"t get over that." Turning my face away from him, I felt my whole body shudder. "I never will."
Reaching out one hand, Noah trailed his thumb down my cheek before catching my chin and forcing me to look him in the eyes.
"I was a f.u.c.k up back then," he told me, his brown eyes searing me. "And I know that I"ve purposefully hurt you on more than one occasion but I never cheated on you. Not once."
I wanted to believe him, so d.a.m.n much, but it didn"t make sense.
Nothing made sense when it came to Noah.
"Noah, I saw you." I closed my eyes and felt the hot sting as my tears trickled down my cheeks. "Naked on your bed with her on your lap." Throwing my hands up between us, I placed them on his hard chest and pushed, desperately trying to regain my personal s.p.a.ce. "You betrayed me."
"Reese f.u.c.ked me over, Teagan," he snarled. "She took advantage of me when I was too f.u.c.king weak to know what I was doing. G.o.ddammit, you were my whole life, Teagan. Why the f.u.c.k would I have touched her when I had you a future with you?"
"I don"t know why you would do that to me, okay," I screamed as my emotions threatened to overturn my sanity. "I don"t know why you ripped me open and humiliated me like that." Fury swished inside of me and I had to steady myself or my pain would spill over and morph into nasty words and cruel remarks. "I"ve had seven years to torture myself with that question, and I still don"t know!"
"You don"t know because you were wrong about me, Teagan. You made a mistake." Noah breathed harshly against my mouth, eyes still locked on mine. "Admit it."
"No, I didn"t." He was lying to me again just like before. Spinning a web of lies, and enticing me like a spider would its prey. "I know what I saw."
"You"re wrong about me, Thorn," Noah countered coolly. "And one of these days you"re going to realize that."
Tipping my chin up, I looked Noah straight in the eye and said, "I. Don"t. Believe. You," enunciating every word clearly.
"And I don"t trust you," he shot back evenly, not missing a beat. "Yet here we are." Smirking, he added, "Why do you think that is, Thorn?"
Shaking my head, I managed to squeeze around Noah and make a break for a quick getaway or at least it would have been quick if Noah hadn"t once again grabbed the back of my nightdress and pulled me to an abrupt stop. "You had to know this day was coming," he said from behind me. His lips brushed against my ear lobe, one of his hands splayed across my stomach, and every nerve in my body exploded in a frenzy of tingling sensations. "You had to know I would come for you."
"How come you never moved on?" I whispered, feeling my resolve falter.
"There"s no moving on," he countered gruffly. "You should know that better than anyone."
"Don"t act so stupid, Teagan. Do you honestly believe he"s not going to come looking for you when he gets out? Bringing with him all the danger and trouble that comes hand in hand with gang members..."
Uncle Max"s words of warning flittered through my mind, causing me to shiver and my walls of defense to rise up once again.
"You need to leave, Noah," I whispered shakily, not even trying to hide the way he affected me. It was as clear as the nose on my face that I was a mess. "Please. Just. Go."
Noah turned me in his arms so fast that I didn"t have a chance to stop him when he hooked me under my thighs with his hands and hoisted me up.
"I"m not going until I get what I came for," he replied in a deep husky tone, walking us over to the wall, not stopping until my back hit the plaster with a thud. "You."
And then he crushed his lips against mine.
The second our lips touched, a growl tore from the back of Noah"s throat and my whole body ignited in fire; an aching of desperation thrummed low in my belly.
The feel of his mouth on mine stunned me into submission.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I cupped his head in my hands and kissed him with a pa.s.sion that had been burning for seven years. Everything I felt for him, all my pain, my desire ignited when his lips touched mine.
Being with Noah was like putting my hand in a fire and enjoying the burn, reveling in the pain, and daring the flames to burn brighter and blind me.
Maybe it was the alcohol running through my veins that was making me so reckless, or maybe it was temporary insanity, but for the life of me, I couldn"t think of a good enough reason to stop this. Nothing mattered in this moment except having this man inside my body again.
Shamelessly, I clung to Noah"s huge frame, allowing all the pa.s.sion, pain and desire that had built up inside to spill out and duel with his as he walked us down the hallway and into my moonlit room.
Setting me down on my feet, Noah broke our kiss to drag my nightdress over my head, and I wasted no time in pushing his shirt down his broad shoulders to join mine on my bedroom floor, before clawing at his belt buckle and quickly undoing his fly.
"I didn"t even have a photograph of you," Noah growled against my mouth, kicking off his boots. "All those years... my memories didn"t do you justice."
Reaching one arm behind his shoulder, Noah tugged his vest off in one swift move. "But I kept you in here," he told me, tapping his temple before slamming the palm of his hand against his chest. "And in here."
"Noah, I..." I started to say, but my words turned into a gasp when he shrugged off his jeans and boxers and shoved me backwards.
My back hit the mattress followed swiftly by Noah"s weight as he landed on top of me.
"Don"t say anything." He clutched my neck with his large hand and my pulse quickened, not from fear, but sheer excitement. It was like my body remembered Noah"s touch. "Not another word."
Nodding in compliance, I brought my face up to his and poured everything I had into kissing him, letting him know all of the things I was too afraid to say aloud.
Noah kissed me back just as furiously.
Like he couldn"t get enough of me.
Like he sensed this was the last night we would ever have.
My fingers trailed over his rock hard stomach. My fingers touched each groove, memorizing the body mine seemed to call out for.
Shoving my legs apart with his knees, Noah knelt between them. "You"re mine, Thorn, and tonight I"m going to remind you of that."
Reaching down, he cupped my pubic bone and stroked my wet folds, growling in approval when I jerked beneath him as bolts of desire rippled through me.
The instant his thumb touched my c.l.i.t, my eyes rolled back in my head and my body began to rock against his hand. "Yes," I begged, writhing in pleasure, buckling beneath his skilled touch, thrashing in pure unadulterated ecstasy. "Please, Noah."
"You want more?" he purred, upping his pace, grinding his thumb harder against my c.l.i.t, making the friction almost unbearable.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to weep, to cry out in joy.
This man, this beast of a man wanted me.
He was here for me, dominating me, taking me over, doing everything I had dreamed of him doing to me for as long as I could remember.
"Tomorrow," Noah grunted, as he leaned over me and replaced his hand with his c.o.c.k. "When you"re aching and throbbing and f.u.c.king shivering all over. Remember who made you feel that way," he told me seconds before thrusting inside me. "Me, Thorn," he hissed, filling me to the brim with his erection. "I"m going to f.u.c.king ruin you for all other men. You"ll only be good for me."
"I will," I cried out, pulling him closer, tightening my legs around his waist. "Wait," I gasped. "Wait..."
He froze inside of me and groaned, "What?"
"Did you win the fight tonight?" I breathed, clawing at his back, pulling him closer.
Noah smirked. "Yeah, baby," he rasped, plunging into me, filling me to the hilt, pounding me with thrust after remorseless thrust. "I won the fight."
I felt so full; he was so big I could hardly breathe. "That"s...uh...wonderful." He felt so right. Inside me, on top of me, his mouth on mine, his tongue on my skin. The taste of him. The feel of his skin. Flesh on flesh. It was everything. I wanted him. I couldn"t deny it. I wanted him with a fervor that bordered insanity.
I wanted to do to him more than any other woman could. Take him to new heights. The feel of his muscles flexing beneath his skin was arousing me more than I thought possible and I rocked against him, meeting his every move, pulling him deeper.
"f.u.c.k," Noah hissed after a moment and it was a raw guttural sound that came from deep inside his chest. Freezing inside of me, I watched as a vein in his neck throbbed. "Condom," he gritted out, jaw clenched tight and strained, as he stared down at me with eyes black with desire.
"Don"t you dare stop," I cried out, clawing at his back, rocking against him. The familiar feeling of tightness was teasing my core, causing my thighs to tremble and my p.u.s.s.y to clench uncontrollably. "I"m so close..."
Relief flashed in Noah"s eyes and he began to move inside me again. "Thank f.u.c.k," he rasped, f.u.c.king me harder than before.
Dropping his mouth to my chest, Noah claimed one of my pebbled nipples with his mouth and sucked hard as his hips flexed against me frantically.
"Yes," I screamed, clutching onto the sheets beneath me as my o.r.g.a.s.m ripped through me, shattering me, causing me to jerk uncontrollably beneath his beautiful body.
Noah didn"t miss a beat, continuing to pump into me as my release rolled through me, sucking him in deeper, pulling him harder, milking him until his big body shuddered and he emptied himself inside of me.
Pulling out, Noah let out a sigh of contentment and collapsed on the mattress beside me A hot flush crept over my skin as I clutched the sheets, and desperately tried to scramble through my thoughts and make sense of what the h.e.l.l had just happened.
Turning onto my side, away from Noah, I curled up in a ball and had a full blown panic attack internally of course.
I thought I put it all behind me; every memory, the smell of him, the taste of his skin, the undeniable attraction that burned between us, and the danger he represented to my life.
But one hour had changed it all...
Noah Messina had been back in my life one hour and I had taken him into my bed and into my body. And now I was aching in all the places he had told me I would.
"You have a tattoo." His voice broke through the silence that had built up between us and my entire frame tensed up.
"Yes," I whispered, tugging the sheet up so that my back was covered from view. The light coming from the hallway gave him a clear view of my nudity, and I was suddenly very shy around this man.
I felt the mattress shift under his weight and then the cool night air on my bare skin as Noah"s hand pressed against my back, gently pushing me onto my stomach.
Smoothing his hand across my skin, he pushed the sheet down further and trailed his fingers over my skin. "Tre...ach," he sounded out ever so slowly out as he gently touched each letter that ran the entire length of my spine. "Treach..." he tried again. "er...ous..."