"I cannot do it--oh, I cannot!" she said despairingly. "The shame of it!
To be the talk of Rome--the scandal of the day--a disgrace to my father and mother!"
Dalrymple frowned, and biting his lip, he struck his clenched fist softly with the palm of his hand, making a few quick steps backward and forward. He stopped suddenly and looked at her with dangerous eyes.
"I have told you," he said. "I will not repeat it. You must choose."
"Oh, you cannot be in earnest--"
"You shall see. It is plain enough," he added, with an accent of scorn.
"You are more afraid of a little talk and gossip in Rome, than of being told to-morrow morning that I died in the night. That is Italian courage, I suppose."
She hung her head for a moment. Then, as she heard his footsteps, she threw her veil back and saw that he was going towards the door without a word.
"You are cruel," she said, half catching her breath. "You know that you make me suffer--that I cannot live without you."
"I shall certainly not live without you," he answered. "I mean to have you at any price, or I will die in the attempt to get you."
The words have a melodramatic look on paper. But he spoke them not only with his lips, but with his whole self. They were not out of keeping with his nature. There is no more desperate blood in the world"s veins than that of the Celt when he is driven to bay or exasperated by pa.s.sion. In him the reckless fatalism of the Asiatic is blended with the cool daring of the northerner.
Maria Addolorata had little experience of the world or of men, but she had the hereditary instincts of her s.e.x, and as she looked at Dalrymple she recognized in him the man who would do what he said, or forfeit his life in trying to do it. There is no mistaking the truth about such men, at such moments.
"I believe you would," she said, and she felt pride in saying it.
Her own life was in the balance. She bent her head again. Her temples were throbbing, and it was hard to think at all connectedly.
"I want your answer," he said, still standing near the door. "Yes or no--for to-morrow night?"
"I cannot live without you," she answered slowly, and still looking down. "I must go."
But she did not meet his eyes, for she knew that she was wavering still, and almost as uncertain as before. All at once Dalrymple"s manner changed. He came quietly to her side and took one of her hands, which hung idly over the back of the chair, in both of his.
"You must be in earnest, as I am, my dear," he said, very calmly and gently. "You must not play with a man"s life and heart, as though they were worth nothing but play. You called me cruel, dear, a moment ago.
But you are more cruel than I, for I do not hesitate."
"I must go," she repeated, still avoiding his look. "Yes, I must go. I should die without you."
"But to-morrow when I come, you will hesitate again," he said, still speaking very quietly. "I must be sure. You must give me some promise, something more than you have given me yet."
She looked up with startled eyes.
"You do not believe me?" she asked. "What shall I do? I--I promise! You yourself have never said that you promised."
"Does it need that?" He pressed the hand he held, with softly increasing strength, between his palms.
"No," she answered, looking at him. "I can see it. You will do what you say. I have promised, too."
He gazed incredulously into her face.
"Do you doubt me?" she asked.
"Have I not reason to doubt? You change your mind easily. I do not blame you. But how am I to believe?"
She grew impatient of his unbelief. Yet as he pressed her hand, the power he had over her increased with every second.
"But I will, I will!" she cried, in a low voice. "And still you doubt--I see it in your eyes. Have I not promised? What more can I do?"
"I do not know," he answered. "But you must make me believe you." The strength of his eyes seemed to be forcing something from her.
"I say it--I promise it--I swear it! Do I not love you? Am I not giving my soul for you? Have I not given it already? What more can I do or say?"
"I do not know," he answered a second time, holding her with his eyes.
"I must believe you before I go."
He spoke honestly and earnestly, not meaning to exasperate her, searching in her look for what was unmistakably in his own. His hands shook, not weakly, as they held hers. His piercing eyes seemed to see through and through her. She trembled all over, and the colour rose to her face, more in despair of convincing him than in a blush of shame.
"Believe me!" she said, imperiously, and her eyelids contracted with the effort of her will.
But he said nothing. She felt that he was immeasurably stronger than she. But just then, he was not more desperate. There was a short, intense silence. Her face grew pale and was set with the fatal look she sometimes had.
"I pledge you with my blood!" she said suddenly.
Her eyes did not waver from his, but she wrenched her right hand from him, and before he could take it again, her even teeth had met in the flesh. The bright scarlet drops rose high and broke, and trickled in vivid stripes across her hand as she held it before his face. Her own was very white, but without a trace of pain. Something in the fierce action appealed strongly to the fiery Celtic nature of the man. His features relaxed instantly.
"I believe you," he said, and she knew it as his arms went round her; and the pain of the wound made his kisses sweeter.
CHAPTER XI.
WHEN Dalrymple left Maria on that day, he returned as usual to Stefanone"s house. Sora Nanna was alone, for Stefanone was still absent in Rome, and Annetta had gone on the previous day with a number of women to the fair at Civitella San Sisto, which took place on Sunday. She was expected to return on Monday afternoon. It is usual enough for a party of women, with two or three men, to go to the fairs in neighbouring towns and to spend the night with the friends of some one of the company. It was more common still, in those days.
Sora Nanna gave Dalrymple his dinner and kept him company for a while.
But he was gloomy and preoccupied, and before long she retired to the regions of the laundry, which was installed in a long low building that ran out into the vegetable garden at the back of the house. Monday was generally the day for ironing the heavy linen of the convent, which was taken up on Tuesdays in the huge baskets carried by four women, slung to a pole which rested on their shoulders in the old primitive fashion, just as litters are still carried in many parts of Asia. It had occurred more than once to Dalrymple, during the last two days, that he could hide almost anything he chose in one of these baskets, which were always delivered directly to Maria Addolorata and which she was at liberty to unpack in the privacy of the linen room if she chose.
He thought of this again as he sat over his dinner, and heard the endless song of the women, far off, at their work. He knew the habits of the house thoroughly and all the customs regarding the carrying up of the baskets, and he remembered that several of them would surely be taken to the convent on the morrow. He thought that if he could procure some more suitable clothes for Maria to wear, this would be a safe means of conveying them to her. She could put them on in her cell, just before the hour at which she was to expect him, so that there would be no time lost and the danger of detection during their flight would be greatly diminished. But there were all sorts of difficulties in the way, and he realized them one by one, until he almost abandoned the scheme in favour of the cloak and plaid which he had first proposed.
He pushed back his chair and went upstairs to his own room. The impression made upon him by Maria Addolorata, when she had bitten her hand, had been a strong one, but the man"s nature, though not exactly distrustful, was melancholic and pessimistic. Two hours and more had pa.s.sed since they had been together, and things had a different look. He realized more clearly the strength of the ties which bound Maria to her convent life, and the effort it must be to her to break them. He remembered the arguments he had used, and he saw that they had been those of pa.s.sion rather than of reason. Their effect could not be lasting, when he himself was not there to lend them his words and the persuasion of his strength. Maria would repent of her promise, and there was nothing to bind her to it. Hitherto there had been no risk, no common danger. By a chain of natural circ.u.mstances he had made his way into a most extraordinary position, but it was in her power, in a moment of repentance, to force him from it. While the abbess was ill, Maria was virtually mistress of the convent. At a word from her the doors might be shut in his face. She might promise again, and bite her hand again, but when it came to his waiting outside the garden gate, she might be seized by a fit of repentance, and he might wait till morning.
As he sat in his room he realized all this, and more, for he knew that on calm reflexion he meant to do what he had that morning threatened in his haste. He had never been attached to life for its own sake.
Melancholic men often are not. He had many times thought over the subject of suicide with a sort of grim interest in it, which indicated the direction his temper would take if he were ever absolutely defeated in a matter which he had at heart.
Nothing he had ever felt in his life had taken hold of him as his love for Maria Addolorata, for he had never really been in love before and he had completely abandoned himself to it, as such a man was sure to do in such surroundings. She was beautiful, but that was not all. Since he had heard her sing, he knew that her voice and her rare talent together were genius and nothing less. But that was far from being all. She was of his own cla.s.s, and he had been seeing her daily, when the peasant women amongst whom he lived were little more than good-natured animals; but even that was not all. He was at that time of life when a man"s character is apt to take a violent and sudden turn in its ultimate direction, when the forces that have been growing show themselves all at once, when pa.s.sion, having appealed as yet but to the man, has climbed and is within reach of his soul, to take hold of it and twist it, or to be finally conquered, perhaps, in a holy life. But Dalrymple was very far from being the kind of man who could have taken refuge against himself in higher things. At a time when materialism was beginning to seem a great thing, he was a strong materialist in scientific questions. He grasped what he could see and held it, but what he could not see had no existence for him. Nothing transcendental attracted him beyond the sphere of mathematics. Yet he had not the materialist"s temperament, for the Highland blood in his veins brought strong fancies and sudden pa.s.sions to his head and heart, such as his chemistry could not explain; and when the brain burned and the heart beat fast, it meant doing or dying with him, as with many a Scotchman before and since. Life had never seemed to be worth much in his eyes, compared with a thing he wanted.
He sat still and thought the matter over, and considered the question of death, for a few short minutes. There was not a trace of philosophical speculation in his reflexions, or they would have lasted longer. He merely desired to be sure, with that curious Scotch caution, of his own intentions, in order not to be obliged to think the matter over again at the last minute.
He had drunk a measure of strong wine with his dinner, as usual. To-day it increased the gloom of his temper, and the pessimistic view he took.