"Certainly. Nothing is easier."
The voice was full of that injured dignity which most surely irritated him, as Gloria knew. But the servant was in the room, and he said nothing, though it was a real effort to be silent. His tongue had been free that day, and it was hard to be bound again.
They finished dinner almost in silence, and then went back to the drawing-room by force of habit. Gloria was still in her walking-dress, but there was no hurry, and she resumed her favourite seat by the fire for a time, before going to dress for the reception.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
THERE was something exasperating in the renewal of the position exactly as it had been before dinner. To make up for having eaten nothing, Reanda drank two cups of coffee in silence.
"You might at least speak to me," observed Gloria, as he set down the second cup. "One would almost think that we had quarrelled!"
The hard laugh that followed the words jarred upon him more painfully than anything that had gone before. He laughed, too, after a moment"s silence, half hysterically.
"Yes," he said; "one might almost think that we had quarrelled!" And he laughed again.
"The idea seems to amuse you," said Gloria, coldly.
"As it does you," he answered. "We both laughed. Indeed, it is very amusing."
"Donna Francesca has sent you home in a good humour. That is rare. I suppose I ought to be grateful."
"Yes. I am in a fine humour. It seems to me that we both are." He bit his cigar, and blew out short puffs.
"You need not include me. Please do not smoke into my face."
The smoke was not very near her, but she made a movement with her hands as though brushing it away.
"I beg your pardon," he said politely, and he moved to the other side of the fireplace.
"How nervous you are!" she exclaimed. "Why can you not sit down?"
"Because I wish to stand," he answered, with returning impatience.
"Because I am nervous, if you choose."
"You told me that you were perfectly well."
"So I am."
"If you were perfectly well, you would not be nervous," she replied.
He felt as though she were driving a sharp nail into his brain.
"It does not make any difference to you whether I am nervous or not," he said, and his eye began to lighten, as he sat down.
"It certainly makes no difference to you whether you are rude or not."
He shrugged his shoulders, said nothing, and smoked in silence. One thin leg was crossed over the other and swung restlessly.
"Is this sort of thing to last forever?" she inquired coldly, after a silence which had lasted a full minute.
"I do not know what you mean," said Reanda.
"You know very well what I mean."
"This is insufferable!" he exclaimed, rising suddenly, with his cigar between his teeth.
"You might take your cigar out of your mouth to say so," retorted Gloria.
He turned on her, and an exclamation of anger was on his lips, but he did not utter it. There was a remnant of self-control. Gloria leaned back in her chair, and took up a carved ivory fan from amongst the knick-knacks on the little table beside her. She opened it, shut it, and opened it again, and pretended to fan herself, though the room was cool.
"I should really like to know," she said presently, as he walked up and down with uneven steps.
"What?" he asked sharply.
"Whether this is to last for the rest of our lives."
"What?"
"This peaceful existence," she said scornfully. "I should really like to know whether it is to last. Could you not tell me?"
"It will not last long, if you make it your princ.i.p.al business to torment me," he said, stopping in his walk.
"I?" she exclaimed, with an air of the utmost surprise. "When do I ever torment you?"
"Whenever I am with you, and you know it."
"Really! You must be ill, or out of your mind, or both. That would be some excuse for saying such a thing."
"It needs none. It is true." He was becoming exasperated at last. "You seem to spend your time in finding out how to make life intolerable. You are driving me mad. I cannot bear it much longer."
"If it comes to bearing, I think I have borne more than you," said Gloria. "It is not little. You leave me to myself. You neglect me. You abuse the friends I am obliged to find rather than be alone. You neglect me in every way--and you say that I am driving you mad. Do you realize at all how you have changed in this last year? You may have really gone mad, for all I know, but it is I who have to suffer and bear the consequences. You neglect me brutally. How do I know how you pa.s.s your time?"
Reanda stood still in the middle of the room, gazing at her. For a moment he was surprised by the outbreak. She did not give him time to answer.
"You leave me in the morning," she went on, working her coldness into anger. "You often go away before I am awake. You come back at midday, and sometimes you do not speak a word over your breakfast. If I speak, you either do not answer, or you find fault with what I say; and if I show the least enthusiasm for anything but your work, you preach me down with proverbs and maxims, as though I were a child. I am foolish, young, impatient, silly, not fit to take care of myself, you say! Have you taken care of me? Have you ever sacrificed one hour out of your long day to give me a little pleasure? Have you ever once, since we were married, stayed at home one morning and asked me what I would do--just to make one holiday for me? Never. Never once! You give me a fine house and enough money, and you think you have given me all that a woman wants."
"And what do you want?" asked Reanda, trying to speak calmly.
"A little kindness, a little love--the least thing of all you promised me and of all I was so sure of having! Is it so much to ask? Have you lied to me all this time? Did you never love me? Did you marry me for my face, or for my voice? Was it all a mere empty sham from the beginning?
Have you deceived me from the first? You said you loved me. Was none of it true?"
"Yes. I loved you," he answered, and suddenly there was a dulness in his voice.
"You loved me--"