CARM: Signor Enrico, Signor Enrico, what is the English for Buona notte?
MYSELF: Buona notte in English is Good night.
ALESS:--and Paris is being besieged by four Turkish emperors, namely, Rodoferro di Siberia, Balestrazzo di Turgovia, Leofine di Cina and Bracilone d"Africa, and they have two hundred thousand men--
GILDO: Now me, please. Teach me to speak English. What did you say is the English for Grazie?
MYSELF: Thank you.
GILDO: And Buona notte?
MYSELF: Good night.
GILDO (_tentatively_): Thank you. Good night.
MYSELF: Bravo, very good.
CARO: What does that mean?
MYSELF: Very good means--
PAPA:--and this professor of ours told us that in consequence of certain natural--do I explain myself?--of certain natural causes, it is rare for a human being to live more than one hundred years. It is therefore unlikely that--
ALESS:--and Paris is being besieged by--
MYSELF: Yes, I know, Buffo, by four Turkish emperors and they have two hundred thousand men. I should think it must be rather a serious situation. But I want to hear about Ettorina.
ALESS: It is a very serious situation, but do not be alarmed because--
PAPA:--it is therefore unlikely that Gildo will ever reach the age of one hundred and seventy-four. Do I explain myself?
CARO: Signor Enrico, Come sta? what does it mean?
MYSELF: It means How do you do?
CARO (_trying her hand_): How do you do?
MYSELF: Brava. Very good.
(_Nina did not ask to be taught English_._ She was following the conversation with sympathetic ill.u.s.trative gestures not caring two straws whether anyone observed her_, _just as she did not care whether anyone observed that she was breathing_; _and_, _just as she could not stop breathing_, _so she appeared unable to stop her gestures_._ She was as incessant and as resourceful as the orchestra in_ Hansel and Gretel.)
CARM: Signor Enrico, Signor Enrico, Io t"amo.
MYSELF: Oh! but this is so sudden.
ALESS:--do not be alarmed, because--
CARM: What does it mean in English?
MYSELF: Oh, I beg your pardon. It means--
ALESS:--do not be alarmed, for it is the will of heaven that--
PAPA: I may even go further and say it is unlikely that Gildo--
CARO: Signor Enrico, do you know what Carmela is doing?
MYSELF: She is making lace on a pillow, no doubt for her wedding trousseau.
CARM (_demurely_): Not for my wedding. No one will ever want to marry me.
MYSELF: Oh, come now, you don"t expect me to believe that?
ALESS:--it is the will of heaven that they shall all escape--
MYSELF: Well, if this is not for you, perhaps it is for Carolina"s wedding?
ALESS:--that they shall all escape to Montalbano--
CARO (_demurely_): Not for my wedding. I shall never marry. I shall stay at home and look after my dear papa and my dear brothers.
NINA (_recklessly_): That"s all very pretty, but I"m going to get married. (_She was sitting on the edge of the table swinging her legs_.)
ALESS:--that they shall all escape to Montalbano through the subterranean road which the devils--
MYSELF: Why don"t you tell me about Ettorina? Come to Ettorina.
ALESS: One moment, if you please--which the devils will make on Wednesday evening--
CARM: You have not yet told me what it is in English.
MYSELF: What what is in English?
CARM: Io t"amo.
(_By the time I had given the information Papa_, _who had been proposing my health in a speech of which I caught little except an occasional_ Do I explain myself? _had begun perorating towards a close and was about to crown his remarks with a brindisi in verse_.)
PAPA: Questa tavola--
GILDO (_taking the words out of his mouth_):
--oggi e a.s.sai piu bella.
Enrico! Bevo alla salute di tua sorella. {60}
ALESS:--which the devils will make on Wednesday evening by command of Argantino the--
PAPA (_beginning again_):