Finally she sits up in her bed and looks at me with angry eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I want to talk to you."
She shrugs. "So talk."
"Why did you and Tony bail on us last night?"
"We got in a fight."
"Oh." I nod. "I"m sorry. Are you guys okay?"
She nods back.
"But Mollie, I need to understand. Why are you treating me like I"m the enemy?" I ask. "Every time I call you, it seems like you either ignore my call, or you hang up, or you"re just grumpy. What did I do to-"
"Maybe this isn"t about you you, Erin."
"Huh?"
"Why do you a.s.sume that everything is about you?"
"Well, I"m talking about our friendship. I have something to do with it. But maybe we"re not friends anymore. Is that what you"re trying to tell me?"
She looks down at her lap.
"And it would make me sad, but I could handle it, Mollie. I guess I just want to know why. Did I do something to hurt your feel-"
"There you go again...a.s.suming this is about you."
Now I"m really frustrated. I mean, can she even hear herself? I take in a slow breath and try to keep from saying something harsh.
"No, Erin, you didn"t do anything to hurt my feelings. Not specifically anyway. But you did kind of leave me behind."
"I left you behind?"
"We used to spend time together. Then you sort of abandoned me."
"But it feels like you abandoned our friendship," I reply. "I might"ve been busy with the show, but it"s like you gave up completely. I mean, I"ve been trying to keep in touch as much as I could."
She looks at me with teary eyes now. And, for some reason, I suspect there"s something else going on here-something Mollie"s not telling me. But what?
"We grew apart, Erin. That"s all."
"But I don"t see how-"
"Fine." She grabs her pillow and clutches it to her stomach. "You want to know what"s really wrong? I"ll tell you." But then she doesn"t say anything.
"What is it, Mollie?" I ask as gently as I can. "Talk to me."
"I"m pregnant."
Wow. This feels like it came from out of nowhere and I wonder if I heard her right. "What?" I say quietly. This feels like it came from out of nowhere and I wonder if I heard her right. "What?" I say quietly.
"I"m pregnant." She looks evenly at me, waiting for me to say something.
I don"t know what to say-how to respond. I want to ask her how this happened, but I already know that answer. And yet I also know that Mollie, like me, had made a commitment not to have s.e.x before marriage. But obviously something had changed. "What are you going to do?"
She"s running her hand over the pillow. "I"m going to have a baby."
"And then?"
"And then I"m going to be a mommy." But her voice is kind of flat and emotionless, as if she"s not really feeling this. Or maybe she doesn"t want to feel it. I"m just not sure.
"Oh."
"I know you"re judging me, Erin."
"I"m not." I hold up my hands. "I"m just trying to grasp this. It"s kind of shocking, you know."
"It hasn"t been exactly easy for me. I could"ve used a best friend." She looks at me accusingly.
I consider this. For someone who could"ve used a best friend, she sure seemed to have been pushing me away. But I don"t say this. "When is the baby due?"
"Mid-August." Her features soften a bit.
"Oh."
"And, yes, Tony is the dad."
"And he knows?"
"Oh, yeah."
"How"s he dealing with it?"
"It depends."
"On?"
"On how he"s feeling at the time. Sometimes he says we should just get married and be parents and that everything will be fine." She sighs.
"And other times?"
"Other times he thinks I should give the baby up for adoption."
"And what do you think?"
"I want to keep the baby." Her voice is full of determination now. "No matter what, I will keep the baby."
"Have you told your parents?"
She shakes her head no.
And then I hug her and she begins to cry quietly. "I"m still your friend," I a.s.sure her. "I am am here for you. You"re going to get through this, Mollie." here for you. You"re going to get through this, Mollie."
She wipes her tears on her pillow and nods.
"This isn"t how I wanted my life to go," she says sadly.
"I know."
"But I just have to make the best of it. I have to be strong. For the sake of the baby, I have to keep it together."
"And you will."
I end up spending the entire day with Mollie, and there are moments when we"re just doing normal things and I almost forget that she"s pregnant. It"s like we"re just our same old selves. And then it hits me. Mollie is going to have a baby. Mollie is going to have a baby. Her life is changing in a huge way and it will never be the same. And I feel sad, like I"m grieving something that"s being left behind. Maybe it"s just childhood. Still, at the same time, I feel hopeful. I think Mollie will be a good mother. But I know it won"t be easy, and I"m thankful I"m not in her shoes. Her life is changing in a huge way and it will never be the same. And I feel sad, like I"m grieving something that"s being left behind. Maybe it"s just childhood. Still, at the same time, I feel hopeful. I think Mollie will be a good mother. But I know it won"t be easy, and I"m thankful I"m not in her shoes.
Chapter 19.
The next two weeks aren"t too busy for Paige and me in regard to our show. We do a few fashion spots with a focus on swimsuits, beachwear, and vacation clothes. But mostly we"re enjoying some down time, recovering from the New York trip, and gearing up for the Oscars red carpet. I"m also trying to spend more time with Mollie. I even went to the OB GYN with her. That wasn"t exactly easy for me, and I felt irked that Tony was MIA right then. It"s hard to tell what"s going on with that boy, but Blake thinks he"s mostly just really confused. Actually, both Tony and Mollie are. It"s kind of like their lives-or their lives as they knew them-have been derailed. and me in regard to our show. We do a few fashion spots with a focus on swimsuits, beachwear, and vacation clothes. But mostly we"re enjoying some down time, recovering from the New York trip, and gearing up for the Oscars red carpet. I"m also trying to spend more time with Mollie. I even went to the OB GYN with her. That wasn"t exactly easy for me, and I felt irked that Tony was MIA right then. It"s hard to tell what"s going on with that boy, but Blake thinks he"s mostly just really confused. Actually, both Tony and Mollie are. It"s kind of like their lives-or their lives as they knew them-have been derailed.
Both Blake and I have been encouraging Mollie and Tony to plug themselves back into church. Mollie is getting more comfortable about being pregnant and finding that most of our friends are very understanding. And the ones who aren"t-well, who cares?
But during these not-so-busy weeks, I notice that Paige is falling into something of a pattern. And it"s got me worried. She and Benjamin are going out a lot. I suspect it"s partly to be seen and photographed because they"re both publicity addicts. And it seems to make Helen Hudson happy each time Paige"s face appears in some gossip rag. At least it used to please Helen. Today she sounds a little concerned.
"Hey, Jiminy Cricket," she says to me when she calls this morning. That"s her nickname for me because she says I play Paige"s "conscience," which is actually pretty ridiculous if you think about it-it"s not like I can control Paige. "So how about that sister of yours?"
"What about her?" I ask.
"It looks like she and Benjamin have really been playing the club circuits lately. Do you think she"s getting out of control?"
"Out of control?" I consider this. "You mean like drinking and partying too much?"
"Basically."
"I actually asked her about this last week," I confess. "I mean, about whether or not she"s drinking. She a.s.sured me she"s not into that anymore."
"What about Benjamin?"
"I didn"t ask about him."
"Well, according to my sources, he"s starting to get carried away again. You know he had a binge drinking problem on Malibu Beach Malibu Beach the previous season. He allegedly cleaned up his act, but to be honest, I"m not so sure about the boy." the previous season. He allegedly cleaned up his act, but to be honest, I"m not so sure about the boy."
I want to ask her why she"s telling me all this, except that I know why. She expects me to keep a watchful eye on my sister.
"It"s not that I don"t trust Paige," she says slowly. "But On the Runway On the Runway is really starting to take off. The ratings are rising. The sponsors are calling. And Paige is the main reason. That girl has the right stuff to make the show soar, Erin. In other words, I"m kind of like a mother hen here, and I have to protect my baby chicks, otherwise known as my a.s.sets." is really starting to take off. The ratings are rising. The sponsors are calling. And Paige is the main reason. That girl has the right stuff to make the show soar, Erin. In other words, I"m kind of like a mother hen here, and I have to protect my baby chicks, otherwise known as my a.s.sets."
"And you want me to protect my sister?"
"Well, I was thinking...how about if you and your boyfriend went out with Benjamin and Paige? You kids would make a cute foursome and you could sort of keep an eye on things."
"I don"t know if she and Benjamin will want us tagging along all the time." What I"m not saying is that I don"t think Blake and I want to be stuck babysitting.
"Not all the time. Just some of the time. See what"s really going on and make sure that your sister is safe. That"s all I"m saying."
"I"ll see what I can do."
"Thanks, Jiminy. You"re really a great kid, you know that."
I laugh. "Yeah. I"m great at taking care of Paige, right?"
"A lot of people don"t realize that stars need someone to ground them. It"s like the old kite metaphor."
"The kite metaphor?"
"Yes. The star is like a kite-she needs to fly high and free, but she also needs someone on the ground holding onto the string."
"And that would be me?"
"You"re a good kite flyer, Erin. And that"s not so bad, is it?"
"I guess not."
So Blake and I end up inviting ourselves to meet up with Benjamin and Paige tonight. And although Blake was perfectly willing to hang with the stars-eager even-I feel guilty about keeping him out so late when he has cla.s.ses in the morning. Finally, we have to bow out, but I"m not feeling too worried because I could see that Paige wasn"t drinking. And, as far as I could tell, Benjamin wasn"t either.
"Do you think they were just on their best behavior because we were there?" Blake asks me as he"s walking me to the door.
"That occurred to me."
"Does Helen Hudson really think you can control Paige?"
I laugh. "No. But I"m sure she"s hoping." Then I thank him for coming along tonight, apologize for keeping him out so late, and we kiss and say good night. And although I"m still not sure it"s wise taking our relationship to the next level, it"s so nice. The b.u.t.terflies are nice. Blake is just as attractive to me now as he was last year. Maybe even more so since we"ve both grown up a little. I just hope that I don"t end up being sorry. Maybe I won"t think about that.
Fortunately, the next few days are all about the Oscars and getting ready for the red carpet. This means that Paige has to try on a number of evening gowns and c.o.c.ktail dresses, which we do with cameras running. Well, not running as she actually changes, but running as she models the different dresses by the various designers. It will be part of the show. It"s like she does her own little runway segment of trying on outfits-trying to decide which one is perfect. She eventually settles on the Dylan Marceau gown, which he designed specifically for her. And I"m not sure if it"s because she likes it the best-although I admit it looks awesome-or because she"s still feeling slightly attracted to Dylan. It"s a peac.o.c.k blue satin in a slightly Asian style, fitted and cla.s.sic with a long slit that reveals a fair amount of leg.
Despite Paige"s begging me to wear a gown too, I insist on playing my role as Camera Girl on the red carpet this time. It"s quite a battle, but to my relief, and after I remind her of our initial agreement, Fran finally agrees. "It"s a nice contrast," she a.s.sures Paige. "And it adds interest."
When Oscar day comes, Paige and I head over to the Kodak Theater, where fans are already ama.s.sed and waiting. In contrast to when we did the Golden Globes, this time they seem to know who Paige is. They call out to her, whistling and cheering as she blows kisses and yells "thank you!" then bows. And, to my surprise, a few of them even call out to me.