Caught in My Own Trap

Happy Labour Day everyone! We have now moved into the 5th month of the year. How time flies…….. Hope that April had been a great month for everyone. My 6 months of career break is finally over and it is time to get back to the reality. So I am officially starting my new contract work this month. As much as I could, I would try to continue with the daily post. However, please bear with me should there are any delay. The new project that I took up would be taking up pretty much of my days as I do have a time frame to complete it. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy the read for today……

This is an exciting chapter for me… Shi Lin finally confessed to He He. So what happen next? Did He He accepted him and start dating him? Read on and find out……

Chapter 18.4: What a mess….

He He and Shi Lin finished their dinner and Shi Lin sent her home.

It was a pleasant dinner. Shi Lin has always treated her well, just like a big brother. He He only need to casually said something and he will take it seriously. For professional terminology that He He could not understand, he will use the most simple lay-man terms to explain the anthropomorphic to her. He has always been like that.

On the way home, they drove past a newly opened ice-shaving store. On the display in front of the door, there is a bunch of three-dimensional fruit, very bright and lovely. He He could not help but give it a few more glance.

Shi Lin parked the car a few meters away, turned around and asked He He: “Do you want to eat that?”

He He originally did not want to eat but seeing that he had stopped the car, nodded and said: “This time let me treat you instead.”

There is a small park at the end of the road. They parked the car there and walked over to the shop to have their ice.

He He dug in and ate with her small mouth. Shi Lin just looked at her. And when she quickly finished her portion, he pushes the other portion to her and said: “In fact, eating too much of these are not good for the stomach. You should also eat less.”

He He shyly said: “Oh. I forgot that you do not eat cold stuff.” She vaguely remembered Shi Lin said before that he does not eat ice-cream.

Shi Lin said: “I see that you are particularly happy when eating these. Turning anyone looking at you mood to a happier mood as well. So I kept this for you, so that I could see you for a while more.”

He He is a little embarra.s.sed, and bowed her head to concentrate on eating the second portion quietly.

Shi Lin smilingly said: “I should not have said that to you. As a result, you now are alert. Your expression is different now from the earlier expression.”

He He smiled and change the subject: “This time after returning to the United States, when is the next time you would be coming back?”

Shi Lin asked earnestly this time: “Do you wish for me to come back?”

“I certainly hope that elite compatriots overseas will come back to the motherland.” He He tried to muddled through.

“This is a good reason.” Shi Lin stopped and then hesitantly said: “He He, there is some words that I know are presumptuous, but if I do not say it now, I am afraid that I will lose the courage in the future or lose the opportunity.”

He He bow her head in silence.

Shi Lin thought for a moment and continued: “He He, despite my age, I have never been in love. But I feel comfortable with you. You have made me want to have the idea of settling down.”

He He continued to keep her silence.

“I do not want you to make the decision now. I just want you to know. If you…. If you still have not been able to meet anyone that have moved your heart, or you do not particularly feel bored with me, especially bored, so….. I hope you could consider me…….”

He He suddenly looked up and turned to look at him. Although it is nighttime, the small park lighting is sufficient for Shi Lin to see the clear faze undetected. Hence, he could not finished what he intended to say.

He He softly said: “Brother Shi, I have always respected and admired you as a big brother, just like how I treat Brother Zheng Xie.”

Shi Lin was silent for a moment and said with a wry smile: “He He, in fact, do you not need to give me the answer so quickly. You could at least let me have a few more days to look forward to.”

He He looked down at the bowl of ice that she is holding in her hand, the milk and the ice has melted from the temperature of her palm. She lower her voice and say: “Brother Shi Lin, you are a good man. A very good man. If I have any sisters, I would hope that they marry you…”

“Unfortunately, you do not want to marry me, so I am not good enough.”

“This is not your problem.” He He lowered her voice so low that he almost could not hear anything. “My brother’s friend, will always be a brother to me. This is the idea that I had since I was young. I have never changed. So it is not you, but because of my own.”

“If…. He He, if I am not, then….. Would you…..” He He saw the rare expression of Shi Lin. She had a sense of guilt, and found out for the first time, that her eloquence is very poor.

“There is no if.” He He finally said and looked up, but not to look at him, but to look at the light far out. She mechanically repeated: “There is no if.”

Shi Lin suddenly seems to have an epiphany. He hesitantly said: “He He, do you like Zheng Xie but he could not read your mind.” He then explained hastily after finishing the sentence: “I have no other meaning. It that is true, at least I can try to let him know.”

“No.” He He did not panic nor look lost. Her eyes firmly looked at Shi Lin and said: “Really there is no such thoughts. I just hope that he and Ms Yang Wei Qi get married earlier and live a happy life forever.”

Shi Lin sigh slightly but no longer speak.

A dinner that started off well did not end very well. When Shi Lin sent He He home, on the road, both of them kept quiet and said nothing. When Shi Lin wanted to adjust the tense atmosphere in the car by switching on the radio station, even after changing a few channels, all are broadcasting sad love songs.

He looked embarra.s.sedly looked at He He and laughed. She also happen to look at him, took her hand and pull out a cd. “Let’s put this on.”

It turns out to be a cla.s.sical symphony, very out of tune to the noisy night outside of the car. But this succeeded in changing the atmosphere between them in the car.

Shi Lin said: “He He, what I said earlier, please don’t put it into your heart. Take it as I have never said them. Next time when I come back, please don’t pretend to not know me. Didn’t you say that a few steps away from where you stay, there is a good barbecue restaurant. Let’s go there when I am back.”

He He said: “Good.” She blinked hard and said: “This evening, apart from talking about your work, we did not talk about anything else.”

Shi Lin said with a smile: “Yes ah, I am already old. So have bad memory.”

Although Shi Lin was driving very slowly, they soon reached their destination. He got out of the car and open the door for He He.

He He got out of the car and took a few steps before turning back and said: “Brother Shi Lin, you go first.”

“You go upstairs first. I will leave when you turned on your lights.”

Shi Lin looked at He He climbing up the stairs quicker than her usual pace. He is not surprised. And the lights in her apartment turned on quicker than normal.

He self-deprecating smiled in the dark, got back into the car. Before re-starting the car, his cell phone beep to indicate a new text message received. Xiao He He had sent him a text message. Very simple words: “I am sorry.”

He looked dazedly at the words until the screen darkens. And then he only think that he should reply back. Him who never had used the drawing functions, clumsily drew a smiley face and sent it back to He He. Under the smiley face, he had handwritten some words: If you need help, remember to look for me.