She didn"t know exactly where she thought this thing between them should go. Looking back later, she doubted that she"d actually thought at all. Reacted was more like it. Sometimes, instincts just took over.
Maybe she"d been a vet too long and her patients had rubbed off on her. She didn"t know. All she knew was that one second she was removing strands of her hair that were in his face and the next, her mouth had made contact with his.
And what contact.
It was something akin to the s.p.a.ce shuttle taking off after countless delays. Lift-off was perfect, accompanied by antic.i.p.ation, tension and a vast number of internal explosions that manifested themselves all around the shuttle.
If she truly was the initiator, all she"d meant to do was to make simple contact. Just brush her lips against his.
Maybe press a little.
Again, it wasn"t a conscious thought process. And after contact, a thought process was the first thing to go in the meltdown.
Rising on her toes, feeling his arms tighten around her, pulling her closer to him, Patience let herself fall into the kiss. Into an endless, spiraling abyss. She was free-falling through s.p.a.ce and it was the most exciting, delicious experience she"d ever had.
Brady had no idea what had just happened. One moment, she was just standing there on her front step, the warm glow from the light inside bathing her face in seductive hues, making him feel things that he had no desire to feel. The next moment, life as he"d known it abruptly changed forever.
He was here as a cop, not as a man. But it was as a man that he was reacting. And when the wind conspired against him, suddenly gliding her hair against his skin, making all h.e.l.l break out inside of him, he felt as if he was fighting a losing battle.
But curiosity and desire got the better of him. He gave in to the former, did his d.a.m.nedest to reconstruct the latter-and kissed her.
There had been many missteps in his life.
At night he would lie awake at times and review them, thinking how different the course of his existence might be if he had just done some things differently. Even one thing differently.
And now this could be added to the list. Because until he"d kissed her, he didn"t know. Didn"t know that this woman could break apart his carefully constructed fortress.
At the moment of contact she made his head spin and his blood heat. It only became more so. The more he kissed Patience, the more he knew he wanted to kiss her. The more he wanted to take her back inside, to her bedroom and to find a way to release all this pent-up tension he was feeling.
His body was hot against hers.
She could feel the heat, feel the desire. What was she doing? She was breaking her own first rule, her own cardinal rule. How could she have just forgotten all about that?
But pleasure had a way of outweighing guilt. And panic. She kissed him as if it were all that mattered in this world.
And then, suddenly, air rushed all around her. And the night made her cold again.
Brady had pulled back.
She pressed her lips together, savoring the taste she found there, telling herself she shouldn"t. He was a cop for heaven"s sake and she wasn"t about to get involved with a cop. Not ever.
Very slowly, she let out a breath. It didn"t help. She felt as if she was still trembling inside like some kind of vestal virgin.
d.a.m.n it, what was wrong with her? It wasn"t as if she were some kind of novice. She did go out. Just not all that often. Most of the time, she preferred the company of her patients or her family to a single, quite often awkward, one-on-one with a man.
Patience cleared her throat before finally venturing to put her confusion into words. "What do you call that?"
"A mistake." He took another step back from her and toward his car. Standing behind him, King danced away. The look on her face was sheer disappointment. Because of the kiss or what he"d said? "I"m sorry."
The words echoed in her head. He was sorry. He thought this was a mistake. Something twisted inside of her and she became aware of pain. "Was it that bad?"
"No," he told her honestly, "it was that good."
She knew he was complicated, but this made no sense. "Then why are you sorry?"
"I had no business kissing you."
"I think business is the last thing either one of us had on our minds."
She was wrong there, Brady thought. He"d meant business. It was only by exercising the extreme control he"d learned over the years that he"d kept from giving in to his feelings. What he wanted to continue feeling.
That he felt anything at all was something he wasn"t about to a.n.a.lyze yet. Or maybe ever.
He"d always thought of himself as not just part of the walking wounded, but of the walking dead. Life within his parents" house and the subsequent shooting had deadened everything inside him, except for maybe a sense of duty toward his mother and his sister. But his mother had died and his sister had gotten married. There was no one for him to take care of. No reason to feel responsible or protective any longer.
Once that was gone, he supposed that he had begun to search for something that might restore even that little bit inside of him. That one spark of sensation that had been left in the wake of his father"s death.
But this kiss had punched a hole into the metal sheeting around his soul. It had showed him a glimmer of a rainbow he hadn"t had any idea even existed within him.
Maybe he was just too tired. Maybe that was why he thought he felt something when there was actually nothing to feel.
He was too confused to sort out his feelings tonight. He looked toward his vehicle, still parked across the street. "I"ve got to go."
Patience nodded. It was better this way. She wasn"t prepared for what her body seemed to want. At least Coltrane had the good sense to back away. If he"d taken the lead, drawn her back inside and shut the door behind them, she didn"t know if she would have been able to put a stop to what she knew in her heart would follow.
Rather than see him down the two steps, she retreated to the shelter of the doorway. "Thanks for stopping by."
He paused for a moment, then nodded toward the door. "Don"t forget to lock up."
She laughed. Her brother and Coltrane definitely had things in common. "Now you sound like Patrick."
There wasn"t even a glimmer of a smile on his lips. "Then you should listen to him."
Because he sounded so serious, Patience couldn"t resist teasing him. She saluted. "Good night." She eased the door closed, then waited a beat.
"The lock," she heard him growl from the other side of the door.
She"d had a feeling he wouldn"t leave until he heard the lock go into place. Patience laughed to herself and then flipped it. Listening, she heard the sound of his footsteps echoing into the night.
Patience leaned against the door, running her fingertips over her lips. She could almost still feel him there. The very thought made her heart start to hammer again.
Wasn"t this a fine mess?
"So," she murmured to the dog who stood beside her and looked up into her face, "what are we going to do about this?"
Tacoma"s answer was to retreat to the kitchen. Not only was her soup bone still there but the one that King had been gnawing on was there, as well.
She could just about make out what Tacoma was doing from where she stood. "Food." Patience shook her head. "Nope, that"s not going to help here."
She wasn"t sure if anything would.
The next moment Patience stubbornly told herself she was making something out of nothing. Coltrane had kissed her. Or maybe she"d kissed him. In any event, they"d kissed one another and although the fireworks she felt rivaled the ones at Disneyland on the Fourth of July, she doubted if the officer had felt the same.
Men never felt the same.
And so, being Brady, he would probably just shrug it off as an incident, nothing more. Certainly not something to lose sleep over.
The way she probably would.
Patience frowned to herself. There was absolutely no point in her agonizing over something that had no life of its own.
"Maybe you"re right after all," she told Tacoma as she walked into the kitchen behind the dog. "Maybe food is the answer."
She headed to the refrigerator. There was half a carton of ice cream in the freezer that could stand revisiting.
His eyes became narrow slits. The anger inside his chest mounted in direct contrast, growing to huge proportions. Threatening to explode. She"d lied to him.
The little b.i.t.c.h was just like all the others. He"d believed her and she"d lied.
He dug his fingers into his hands. Blunt, jagged nails pressed against his flesh, creating red crescents. One began to bleed. He took no notice. All his attention, all his energy was focused on the house in the center of the block.
Cursing under his breath, he retreated into the shadows again, the way he always did when he watched her. Watched Patience.
And he"d been here, cloaked in darkness, watching as she"d kissed that b.a.s.t.a.r.d. That cop. It should have been him on her doorstep, not Coltrane. He should have been the one to taste her mouth, to feel her body molding into his. It was his right, d.a.m.n it. He"d earned it. He"d been patient. Patient with Patience.
His mouth curved cynically. There was no humor there. Only frustration, only anger.
He"d waited, setting the stage, antic.i.p.ating the moment.
And someone else had gotten to experience it.
He felt so angry, so betrayed, he wanted to rip something apart. Anger raged within him like a volley of artillery fire. He closed his eyes, clenched his hands and struggled to regain control over himself.
Maybe she didn"t realize what she was doing. Maybe that cop had taken advantage of her. Smug, distant Coltrane wasn"t fooling anyone. He was just waiting to pounce on her.
Well, he couldn"t.
Patience belonged to him.
And someday soon, she was going to know it. And then he"d have everything he wanted. Because he"d have her. And she would make rest.i.tution for this transgression. So it would never happen again.
He watched the cop pull away in his flashy car. Good, he was leaving.
Becoming bold again, he ventured out a little, away from the shelter of the shadows. He turned his face toward her house. Only the lights on the second floor remained. The second floor.
Where her bedroom was.
A warmth slithered over his body as he began to imagine what she would look like, stripping off her clothes one by one, slipping into bed.
Naked.
His breathing grew heavier. There was no one to hear.
Brady glanced in his rearview mirror. Standing on the back seat, King paced back and forth between the two partially opened windows. This was how the dog acted when they were on the trail of smuggled narcotics and he had caught the scent.
Except that there were no narcotics here.
"What"s the matter with you, boy? Settle down." For once, King took no heed of the command. He continued moving from side to side. d.a.m.n but he wished the animal could talk. At least King would have something worthwhile to say. His thoughts turned to Patience, to the dumb move he"d made minutes earlier.
Taking a corner, he heard a thud behind him. King has fallen off the seat. "Sorry about that, but if you"d settled down and sat, you wouldn"t have fallen off the seat."
Why was the dog so agitated? he wondered. And then it hit him. King was probably feeding off his own agitation. There"d been more than one time when he felt as if the animal read his thoughts, reacted to his tension. Usually it took place in the field, but perhaps the dog was attuned to his personal life, as well.
Brady glanced in the rearview mirror. Warm brown eyes met his. He laughed, something he rarely did. "Yeah, I know just how you feel. She get to you, too, boy? Or was it that pretty dog of hers that has you going?" King barked in response. "The soup bone, huh? Thought you"d hold out for something bigger than that, like a lifetime supply of treats."
Again King barked.
"What"s gotten into you tonight?" he asked. "You"d think we were tracking down a main artery of the Colombian cartel. You know what we both need? To get away from things. To just kick back and lie on the beach."
King"s response was to bark even more.
"Yeah, me neither. It would drive me nuts within an hour. I guess we weren"t meant to relax."
As if in total agreement, King stopped barking and finally settled down on the seat.
Chapter 5.
"Didn"t I just see the two of you yesterday morning?"
Patience"s words were addressed to Josh as the policeman and his K-9 partner walked into the first exam room behind her. Technically, this was the beginning of her lunch hour, and she"d been stuck doing paperwork thanks to the fact that her receptionist had bolted the minute the big hand had met the little hand at twelve on the oversize clock. Shirley was lovable and good with animals, but no one was ever going to accuse the pixish young woman of being an overachiever.
Once Mrs. Chambers and her Siamese cat had crossed the threshold and were gone, Patience had had every intention of locking the clinic door. She needed to grab a bite to eat in her own kitchen and more important than that, she needed a few minutes to herself. A few minutes to unwind. She felt exhausted.
For the most part, sleep had been notably absent from her bedroom last night and this morning. Consuming the remainder of a half gallon of ice cream right before bedtime wasn"t exactly conducive to a restful night"s sleep, but then, she knew that wasn"t the real culprit for her sleeplessness. Kissing Brady had been responsible for that.