T aking a break, Teri looked at Hawk over the rim of her coffee mug. For most of the morning, she and he had been cross-referencing information, searching for a connection, a name, something to hang their newest theory on.
A headache formed over the bridge of her nose and she paused to ma.s.sage it, her eyes never leaving the top of Hawk"s head. He was busy poring over something. Intent. Focused.
Unlike her. Her mind bounced back and forth like a ball at zero gravity, going from their case to the night they"d spent together.
She didn"t want to feel this way, this happy-glad-Fourth-of-July-sparkler sort of way every time she thought of him. What she wanted, or felt she wanted, didn"t seem to enter into it.
The sparkler continued to burn.
For the first time in her life, she had feelings, potentially deep feelings for someone-if she allowed herself to admit it-and it worried her. More than that, it frightened her. She"d seen what really loving someone could do. She only had to look to her father if the memory began to fade a little. She"d watched what he endured when he"d lost her mother. Her disappearance created a hole in his life, a hole that nothing could really fill. Despite all the love that abounded in their house, in their family, at bottom Andrew Cavanaugh was still lonely for his wife.
She didn"t want that happening to her, didn"t want to love someone so much that it hurt to breathe, that it cast a shadow on everything else.
And yet she knew she was on that kind of a path if she didn"t somehow manage to stop herself. For all her optimism, she knew that Jack Hawkins wasn"t the kind of man who allowed himself to be tied down. Home and hearth were not his kind of thing.
If she fell in love with him, she was only setting herself up for her father"s kind of heartache.
It wasn"t going to happen, she promised herself. It wasn"t.
With effort, Teri forced herself to get back to the stack of files on her desk. She wasn"t getting paid to pine, she was getting paid to solve a crime.
It felt different.
The air, the day, the office, his skin-they all felt different this morning. As if he"d just turned onto a new page, a new chapter. A new book.
Shuffling through files he wasn"t completely focused on, Hawk frowned to himself.
What the h.e.l.l was going on? He wasn"t the type to think this way, to feel this way. To feel at all. Feelings were for people who had a prayer of leading regular lives. From the first moment he"d opened his eyes, a heroin-addicted baby born to two people who had no business procreating, his life had been anything but regular. There"d been times, when he was very young, when he"d dreamed of that life. Of actually being normal with normal parents.
But that dream had faded a very long time ago. There was no reason for it to be raising its head now, peering into his existence and whispering ever so seductively in his ear.
He didn"t believe in things like that. In feelings. In people like Teri Cavanaugh who seemed to have no hidden agendas. It made him almost angry to be placed in this kind of a position, to be sitting here and wrestling with emotions he was uncomfortable with-not to mention totally unfamiliar with.
She"d opened a door inside of him, a door to a place he hadn"t even suspected existed. It hadn"t happened just with the s.e.x, because it hadn"t been just about s.e.x, no matter how much each one of them denied this. It had been more.
He didn"t have an explanation. He only knew that he didn"t feel like himself. Shades of gray seeped into his black-and-white world. Not just gray, but a soft sheen of colors, as well. Colors that came along with waves of confusion that washed over him. Most confusing was that she asked nothing of him, wanted nothing.
It made him want to give her everything.
Except that he knew he had nothing to give. His parents had seen to that.
He was a walking, breathing empty sh.e.l.l, masquerading as a person.
It had been two days since they"d been together in his apartment. Two days, two nights and a great deal of endless time in between. Time that had been filled with work, with following up leads and with trying to find the name of someone who had at one time or other worked in all or most of the valet services that seemed to be implicated. Time in which his mind was only half on the job.
And half on her.
He scrubbed his hands over his face, wishing he"d never left Homicide. Edmunds had never lingered on his mind this way.
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Hawk raised his eyes. She was watching him. He had the feeling she"d been doing it for quite a while now. Was she feeling restless, too? He couldn"t tell.
"You"re awfully quiet-for you," Hawk tacked on. "What"s up?"
"This is a first, isn"t it? You wanting to know if something was bothering me."
Belatedly, she"d remembered that it wasn"t, that he"d tried to get at the root of what was bothering her the day they"d wound up making love. Her brain was so addled, she"d forgotten. She had to get a grip before she fell completely apart.
"It"s been a week for firsts," he commented. Then, thinking that he might have given too much away, redirected her thoughts to the case. "You don"t normally chew on things and keep them to yourself." He nodded toward her desk. "Find anything?"
"A h.e.l.l of a lot more than I bargained for," she muttered under her breath. By the look on his face, Teri realized that the comment had slipped out when she"d meant it to be internalized. d.a.m.n, she was going to have to watch that.
"Would you like to share that with the cla.s.s?"
The question came from behind her. Teri swung her chair around to find herself looking up at a worn-down-at-the-heels-looking Mulrooney. Even the doughnut in his hand looked droopy. The dead ends in the case were taking their toll.
Glancing to her left, Teri"s eyes met Hawk"s. Her mind scrambled for something plausible to say. "Just that beyond the common thread of all the victims having used valet services sometime before the burglaries or home invasions occurred, there doesn"t seem to be anything that links up." She looked at the list of valet services, some of which had gone out of business. "The services aren"t owned by a single parent company and there hasn"t been anyone who"s worked at most, much less all of them."
"Maybe there doesn"t have to be," Hawk ventured. Getting up, he came around to her desk. Teri suddenly felt hemmed in. "Maybe it"s a group effort. Four or five friends all coordinating from their various valet services."
Teri thought of the two dead bodies in the alley. "Some friends."
"Oh, great," Mulrooney groaned, polishing off his snack. He crumpled the napkin and tossed it into her trash basket. "So what, we stake out-" he paused to count the names on Teri"s list "-twelve different services?" He offered them a beefy frown. "The chief"s never going to give us the manpower to do that."
"No," Hawk agreed, his mind racing ahead. "But we can get a court order to let us get access to the forms all the employees filled out when they were applying for the job. Maybe there"s a common name given as a reference. He might be our key player." Mulrooney groaned again, louder this time. Hawk shot him a dark look. "It"s worth a shot. We"ve got nothing else."
Teri raised her eyes innocently to his face. "Do we really want to wait for a court order?"
Hawk ignored the strange feeling stirring in his gut when she looked up at him like that. "You got a better idea?"
Teri glanced toward the captain"s gla.s.s office. It was at the end of the squad room. Right now, the captain looked busy with his work, but she was taking no chances. "I do if you watch my back."
Mulrooney caught on and grinned widely at Hawk. "She"s going to do her thing again, isn"t she? She"s going to hack into their systems."
The former chief"s daughter or not, hacking wasn"t something that was smiled upon. Hawk looked at the other man sharply. "Why don"t you try standing on the roof and making that announcement?"
Mulrooney was slow to anger, but there was definite simmering going on. "Hey, what crawled up your b.u.t.t and died?"
Looking to avert any escalation, Teri came to his rescue. "He"s just edgy because we haven"t solved it yet. Right, Hawk?"
"Yeah, right," he bit off.
"Hey, we all want this thing wrapped up," Mulrooney said good-naturedly. He glanced down at Teri. "Need me to do anything?"
"Your desk is closer to the captain"s office than Hawk"s is. Find a way to give me a warning if you see him coming my way." Pausing for a moment, she glanced over her shoulder at the big man. "This is going to take some time."
"Gotcha." With a smart salute, Mulrooney went back to his desk.
For a second, nothing was heard in the immediate area except for the sound of keys being tapped. Hawk glanced around. Most of the squad room was empty. The teams were all working on other cases. But there was still the network system that could easily be accessed to see what every computer in the precinct was doing. She was doing something risky and, depending on who caught her, it could carry stiff penalties and consequences.
"You know," Hawk observed, trying to sound disinterested, "for someone whose whole family is in law enforcement, you don"t exactly tread the straight and narrow path."
She didn"t answer him right away. Instead, afraid she might lose the thread, she waited until she completed typing in a sequence. And then she murmured, "Patience isn"t."
"Patience isn"t what?"
Teri looked up and smiled at him. "My cousin Patience," she clarified. "She isn"t in law enforcement. She"s a vet."
d.a.m.n it. The woman"s smile was going straight to his gut. That wasn"t normal and he didn"t like it. "I"ll try to remember that the next time I need a rabies shot," he grumbled. And then he replayed her comment to him. It didn"t make sense. "Why do you feel you had to share that with me?"
Mentally she counted off another sequence before typing it in. "So you"ll know when you come over for breakfast tomorrow."
"Come over for breakfast tomorrow?" It made no more sense to him when he said it that when she did. "What are you talking about? I didn"t agree to anything. I haven"t lost that bet yet," he reminded her.
Teri didn"t even look up. Her fingers continued to fly across the keyboard. He was surprised that she could even think of anything else beyond the codes she typed. The woman gave new meaning to multi-tasking. "No, but you will. There"s a connection here between all the robberies and we both know it. Besides, it"s time you met the rest of my family."
His eyebrows drew together. He didn"t like the sound of that. Hawk bent over so that he was close to her ear. He didn"t want to take a chance of anyone else overhearing. "Hey, we only slept together once. That doesn"t mean I"m about to meet with your father and exchange a dozen war ponies for your hand."
G.o.d, he was jumpy, wasn"t he? And because he was, she felt an inner calm rising up out of nowhere. "No ponies, no hand, Hawk, just a lot of food and conversation. You"re my partner," she pointed out. "Partners get brought to breakfast, or lunch, or dinner if you prefer, although breakfast is the most common time. It also has a built-in time limit you might like because we all have to dash off to work. Well, all except Dad, of course, but then-"
He had to stop her before she got a second wind. There was no way he was going to go and meet her family under any pretext. "I don"t do breakfast."
Stopping in midword, she looked up and pinned him with a look that would have made a lesser man squirm. "You do coffee. You can sit and sip."
He snorted at the idea. "Why would I want to do that?"
"Because you do." She couldn"t begin to explain it any better than that. It was the way things were done, had always been done. Anyone who figured prominently into any of their lives was brought around for viewing. Time changed nothing. Her father still wanted to know the people in her life, in all his children"s lives. Hawk, she could see, still waited for more. She added only two words. "Trust me."
He trusted her to watch his back, but there was no way he was going to allow her access to any other part of him. That night in his apartment had already created havoc inside of him.
If he were honest with himself, the groundwork for that havoc went back further than two nights ago. Still, the word no didn"t come when called. Instead, he heard himself muttering, "We"ll see."
Teri grinned at him. "Don"t forget. I know where you live."
"So you"ll come and get me?"
She still looked at him even though her fingers flew along the keyboard. "Either that, or bring everyone to you."
Hawk laughed shortly, shaking his head. "They wouldn"t fit."
"My family is surprisingly resourceful. Seven-thirty would be good," she told him, lowering her eyes to the screen again.
She heard Hawk sigh and smiled to herself.
He wasn"t going to show. There was no earthly reason for him to turn up at her house, he thought. He"d go into the precinct the way he"d done every other morning.
Except that he knew in his gut that if he didn"t show up for breakfast, Cavanaugh wouldn"t give him any peace, and if there was one thing that woman knew how to do, it was to mercilessly nudge at a man until he literally and figuratively screamed "uncle."
Like a tropical storm pounding a beach, the woman was relentless. He"d seen her in action. It would be easier just to show up.
Resigned, Hawk drove to the Cavanaugh house. With myriad cars parked in front of it and around it, the house was hard to miss. It looked more like the scene of a party than breakfast.
He fought the temptation to turn around and driving out of the development. Finally, he parked down the block and walked up to the front door.
She answered on his first ring. He wasn"t even sure if he made complete contact with the doorbell before the door swung open.
"You came."
The house gave off an aura of warmth. Somewhere inside of him, where a tiny part of the small boy he"d once been still lived, came the thought that he would have liked growing up here. He envied her. And then he buried the thought.
"I figured I"d save myself a lot of grief." He looked down at her. "But just this once."
"Just this once," she agreed cheerfully. "They all have good memories," she a.s.sured him, referring to her family. "Once is all they"ll need." Urging him on, she walked into the busy, noisy kitchen a step ahead of him. Teri raised her voice in order to be heard. "Everyone, this is my partner, Jack Hawkins."
Sixteen sets of eyes turned and looked in his direction. Most of the women, he noticed, were blond like Teri. The men were all dark-haired and except for two, looked incredibly similar. It was easy to see that most of them were related.
For someone who"d been alone for as long as he had, the scene was a little overwhelming. He"d never seen a table that big before outside of a banquet hall or a conference room. And every place, save three, was filled. The head of the table and two chairs to the right of that.
"Here, take a seat," Teri urged, gesturing to one of the two chairs that were side by side.
Feeling awkward and out of place, Hawk chose the one that was to the right of the head of the table. A tall, distinguished-looking man in a white chef"s ap.r.o.n crossed to him. The man paused to wipe his hands on the ap.r.o.n before extending his hand.
"Andrew Cavanaugh. Nice to finally meet you."
The handshake was firm, powerful, accepting. "I know who you are, Chief."
"It"s chef" now." Andrew grinned, gesturing toward the professional stove against the back wall. His children had all chipped in and bought it for him for his last birthday. "I"ve dropped the i."
"The h.e.l.l he has." To his right, Hawk saw a younger version of the chief rising from his seat to take his hand. Shaw, wasn"t it?
"Nice to see you again." Shaw nodded at him. Amus.e.m.e.nt played on his rugged face. "So, you"re ready to meet the others?"
"Here, let me do this," Teri said, cutting in. "It"ll be faster."
Clay laughed. "That"s only because you have the fastest mouth."
Teri gestured toward him. "You"ve just heard from Clay, my little brother-"
"By five minutes," Clay pointed out. The protest was automatic. Ever since they"d been little, Teri had taken great glee in calling herself the older one.
"I was referring to maturity," Teri clarified. She went around the table. "Next to Clay is Ilene, his fiancee, poor lady, and their son, Alex." She glanced at Hawk, but there was no curiosity there. No need to know details. He was a rare man, she thought. "You"ve already met my older sister, Callie. Beside her is Judge Brenton Montgomery and his daughter, Rachel." She purposely left their relationship un-stated, although they were slated to get married soon. Again, there was no sign that Hawk was even mildly curious as to the nature of their relationship. The man wasn"t human, she decided. "My baby sister, Rayne-" Rayne rolled her eyes at the description "-and Cole Garrison, who for some reason wants to marry her."
She gestured toward the other side of the table. "And these are my cousins, Patrick and Patience-their dad was my uncle Mike Cavanaugh."
The reason she was afraid of hospitals, Hawk thought, nodding his head at the duo.
"And next to them," she was saying, "are Dax, Troy, Jarrod and Janelle, Uncle Brian"s kids. Uncle Brian couldn"t make it this morning."
At this point, Hawk found himself fervently wishing that he hadn"t been able to, either. He looked at her as he took his place at the table. "Neither could the partners, I take it."