Uncle Three pulled the rifle bolt. "This guy is really an embarra.s.sment to me. I didn"t expect him to be such a useless f.u.c.kup. He was bragging like a G.o.dd.a.m.n hero before he got here." Handing the gun to Poker-face, my uncle told him, "This gun holds only two bullets at a time. When those are gone, you"ll have to reload. The farther it has to travel, the less power the bullet carries-be sure to choose your target carefully before you fire."
Panzi and I held the double-barreled shotguns. Uncle Three and Big Kui each had their army knives in one hand and folding shovels in the other, which they used to paddle the boat forward. Slowly we punted toward the ma.s.s of corpses that were bathed in a dim green glow.
Under the feeble light from our lamps and that mysterious green glimmer, we could see the cave become bigger and bigger. I heard Poker-face mumble words in a language I didn"t understand while Panzi cursed vehemently. And then I saw a sight that I will never be able to forget.
At the opening to this part of the cave, the green light showed us that we were entering a supercolossal natural chamber. The ca.n.a.l that we followed became a river, and on sand banks at either side lay many rotting, pale green carca.s.ses. It was impossible to tell whether they had once been men or animals. Rows and rows of skulls were piled neatly in the innermost part of the cave, looking as though they had been stacked carefully by human hands. But the collections of skulls that lay farther outside were less meticulously grouped together, especially near the riverbanks where many of the bodies had not yet completely deteriorated.
All of the carca.s.ses were covered with a thin layer of gray film, as if they had been swaddled tightly with plastic wrap. As we looked, several large corpse-eating bugs erupted from the insides of the bodies. Smaller corpse-eaters scurried over to join the feast but as soon as they arrived, the bigger ones snapped at them and swallowed them in one gulp.
"Look, you guys!" Big Kui pointed toward the wall of the cavern. We turned and saw a crystal coffin, tinged with green, mounted perpendicularly on the cave"s wall, looking as if it were floating in midair. Inside seemed to be a woman wearing a white dress, but she was too far away for us to see her clearly.
"There"s one on that side too!" Panzi pointed to the other wall. Sure enough-at the same exact spot on the opposite side hung a crystal coffin, but this one was empty.
Uncle Three gasped. "Where did that body go?"
"Could it be a zombie?" asked Big Kui. "Master Three, there couldn"t be any zombies in here, could there?"
"Pay attention, all of you. If you see anything moving at all, don"t ask questions-just shoot it," said Uncle Three as he stared into the darkness.
At this moment, we went around a bend in the river that took us past a large pile of skulls and bones. Big Kui screamed with fear and fell on the deck of the boat. The rest of us saw a woman with her back turned toward us, long black hair falling past her waist. Her clothing was made of white feathers and the adornment on her outfit I was sure dated back to the Western Zhou dynasty.
I swallowed hard and said, "Here"s our missing corpse."
"Stop-stop!" Uncle Three wiped a large film of sweat from his forehead. "Big Kui, take the oldest donkey hoof we have out of the bag-the black one that we brought to ward away zombies and vampires. This is the most amazing zombie I"ve ever seen and probably that anyone has encountered over the past thousand years. We need our oldest donkey hoof to jam into her mouth and take away her powers if we"re going to protect ourselves."
No reply came from Big Kui so my uncle shouted his name again. As we looked for him, we found him lying at our feet, twitching convulsively and foaming at the mouth.
"Panzi, bring me the hoof. f.u.c.k me, if I ever bring that fat idiot with me again, I deserve to have a zombie eat me alive." Uncle Three grabbed the black donkey hoof from Panzi"s hands and spat on it, saying, "Take a good look at my skills, nephew. This is a once-in-a-lifetime feat. If I don"t succeed, then fire a shot toward the sky for me, so I"ll die without remorse."
I pulled him back. "Are you sure you can do this?"
Truthfully, I wasn"t very frightened. After all, this was a new situation for me and if I gave it any thought, the sight of a woman dressed in mournful white was more melancholy than terrifying. On the other hand, in horror movies when a long-haired woman in white turns and shows her face, this is never a good thing.
Poker-face drew closer and put his hand on Uncle Three"s shoulder. "Black donkey hooves are used for conquering zombies, true-but I"m sure this thing isn"t a zombie so your hoof will be useless. Let me handle this." From his bag he took out a long object which I immediately recognized as the antique weapon he had bought from Uncle Three. He opened the cloth scabbard, and inside was an ancient black sword that looked as though it were made of black iron.
Taking out the sword, he drew it across the back of his hand, then stood at the bow of our boat and let his blood drip into the river. When the first droplets. .h.i.t the surface of the water, all of the corpse-eating bugs crawled out of the bodies as though they had seen a ghost. In a maddened frenzy, they scurried away from our boat. In a second, all the corpse-eaters were gone, leaving not even a shadow behind.
Soon the flow of blood completely covered Poker-face"s entire hand, which he pointed toward the woman in white. As we watched in awe, our faces frozen and blank with shock, she knelt before us. "Go-get us out of here-and whatever you do," Poker-face muttered, "don"t look back."
Of course I wanted to see the woman"s face but dared not risk it after Poker-face"s command-what would happen to me if I looked at a mummified countenance? Uncle Three and Panzi rowed our boat with a speed born of terror and desperation. Finally we saw an opening in the cave that looked as though it was the one we had entered earlier.
As we entered the robbers" tunnel, I realized that although I had been forbidden to look back, certainly it would be all right to see what might be behind us from its reflection in the water? I looked and immediately lost my breath. What I saw was the reflection of something clinging to my back. I couldn"t help it-I began to turn so I could see what was on my body when something struck the back of my head and I was engulfed in blackness.
Chapter Seven.
HUNDREDS OF HEADS.
In a haze, I saw the woman in a white dress with her back turned toward me. Wanting to see her face, I ran in front of her, but once again I could only see her back. No matter how quickly I ran, again and again, I could never be face-to-face with her. How is this possible? I wondered, and then I realized she had no face-her body was made up of two backs with no front. My scream awoke me, and my eyes opened to see the sky illuminated by a bloodred sunset.
"Awake?" Panzi smiled, his face close to mine.
I squinted my eyes to adjust to the fading daylight. Panzi pointed to the sky. "You see that? No s.h.i.t, we"re finally out!"
I touched the back of my head. "Hey f.u.c.ker, was it you who hit me?"
"I had to. You"d been warned not to look back. You almost killed us, you stupid a.s.shole."
My memory came back in a minute. Terrified, I touched my back abruptly to see if the creature was still there. Panzi laughed. "Relax. It"s gone."
"What was it?" I was still lost in fear.
"Menyouping says it was the soul of that woman dressed in white. She was relying on your positive chi to get her out of the cave. We don"t have all the details because he fainted as soon as he told us that much," Uncle Three said as he paddled along the river under the open sky. "But apparently he"s had some incredible experiences. Even that zombie knelt down before him. What extraordinary power that guy has!"
I sat up and saw Poker-face leaning against Big Kui, both of them sleeping like two oversized babies. I smiled. Seeing the sky was especially comforting after the dark menace of the cave with its horrible green light. I asked, "Who is that guy anyway?"
Uncle Three shook his head. "I really don"t know. I asked my friend in Changsha to recommend an experienced helper and he sent me this fellow. I only know his last name is Zhang so I gave him the nickname Menyouping. I tried to learn more about him on the way here, but all I found out was that he was always either sleeping or lost in a trance. I don"t know his story, but the person who sent him to me has an impressive reputation in this business and I can always trust anyone that he recommends."
The more I heard about this person, the more mysterious he became. But since Uncle Three said he didn"t know much about him, it was pointless to ask any more questions. I looked ahead into the distance and asked Panzi, "Can you see that village there?"
"Straight ahead."
Uncle Three pointed to the dots of light in the darkness. "It looks like these people aren"t poverty-stricken. They have electricity."
A village-I immediately thought of a hot bath, stir-fried meat dishes, and pretty women with their hair in long, fat braids. I began to feel excited. I could see the shadows of people riding mules down the hills behind the village. It looked as though they were coming to the village as well. As we came closer, I began to see that these people did not dress like country people, and I wondered what might bring them to this place.
Our boat pulled in toward the pier and a little village girl cried out as she saw us, "Look! There are ghosts!"
We stood in puzzlement, unable to ask what she meant because she zoomed away immediately. We clambered onto the riverbank. As soon as his feet touched dry land, Big Kui woke up, muttering something about the nightmare he had just dreamed, which earned him cuffs from Uncle Three and a few kicks from Panzi.
Poker-face was bleeding heavily from his wounded hand and remained unconscious. I picked him up to carry him, which was an easy job-his body was as light as a young woman"s, as though he had no bones at all.
Uncle Three grabbed a pa.s.serby and asked if there were any hotels around. The man looked at us as if we were a bunch of lunatics. "Where do you think you are? Our village has only around thirty families. Why would we have a hotel here? If you"re looking for someplace to stay, go to the village guesthouse."
We found the guesthouse. From the outside it looked like a haunted dwelling but inside it was unexpectedly civilized with a phone, electricity, clean sheets, and-best of all-hot water. In this village, it was like finding a five-star hotel.
We all took a bath and felt terrific after we washed away the stench of corpses. Then we went out and had stir-fry for dinner, even Poker-face, who was finally conscious but with little energy. We fed him a big platter of fried pig liver to replenish the blood he had lost in order to save us. We didn"t ask him much, thinking it was better to save our questions until he had recovered his strength.
As I ate, I teased the waitress, "Big Sister, your place isn"t so bad! You have concrete floors in here and paved roads outside. Was all this construction material carried by the mules over the mountains?"
"How would that be possible? It would take the mules forever! A highway was built to pa.s.s through here a long time ago. Even Mao"s Liberation tanks came this way. Then a few years ago a landslide covered up the road and in the debris was found a huge ancient cooking pot. Many people came from all over to have a look and said it was a national treasure that dated back to the Warring States Period. Then they took the pot away because that was all that mattered-they couldn"t care less about the road. Doesn"t that p.i.s.s you off? Later we in the village said we could repair it ourselves. But what kind of repairs could we make without funding? Our men worked and stopped, worked and stopped in cycles. It"s been over a year, and they"re still repairing it."
"Can"t you travel by water? Don"t you have a pier here?"
"That was built before Liberation and n.o.body has used it for many years. If someone tells you to travel by water, he probably plans to murder you. You outsiders must be careful; these shoals are very treacherous. For years men have drowned in these waters and none of their bodies have been recovered. When the old people of the village talk secretly among themselves, they say that the bodies must have been swallowed by the G.o.d of the Mountains!"
I glanced over at Uncle Three and thought, that G.o.dd.a.m.n guide that you found was obviously a brigand. Embarra.s.sed by this loss of face, my uncle took a huge gulp of beer to gain some time and then asked, "By the way, do many outsiders come to stay at your magnificent place?"
"Don"t look down on my little guesthouse. I can tell you that anybody who has visited from the outside has stayed here. Since the ancient pot was discovered, we"ve had an increasing number of visitors. There are even people planning to build a villa on the other side of the mountain."
Uncle Three leaped to his feet and yelled, "h.e.l.l, they can"t be going that far, can they?" He knew, as did we all, that anybody who built a vacation home in these remote and barren hills would have to be either overseas Chinese or grave robbers.
The waitress jumped in shock. Panzi hurriedly pulled Uncle Three back to his chair. "Master Three, you"re an old man. Don"t get so upset-it"s not good for you." Then he said to the waitress, "Don"t mind him. He probably just thought it was peculiar."
I heard Uncle Three swearing very quietly; then he forced a smile and asked, "Oh yes. Do you have any monuments or interesting places to visit around here?"
The waitress beamed and suddenly whispered in a conspiratorial fashion, "You gentlemen don"t look like you came to sightsee. Why, of course, you came to rob graves, didn"t you?"
None of us said a word as she sat down beside us. "To be honest, what kind of outsiders don"t come here to rob graves? If you guys really were tourists, wouldn"t all the equipment you carry be way too burdensome?"
Uncle Three looked at me, and poured a gla.s.s of beer for the waitress. "Tell us since you know so much, are you also in the business?"
"What? Of course I"m not. I heard from my grandfather that there have been quite a few grave robbers coming here these past few years who took out a lot of good stuff. But my grandfather says that the most important thing is still in the inner part of the place-it"s the tomb of a G.o.d. The gold and silver jewelry that is easily found inside the cave is nothing when compared to the treasure hidden away in the tomb."
"Oh." Uncle Three was very interested. "So your grandfather has gone in to the cave himself?"
The waitress closed her lips and smiled. "My grandfather heard this from his grandfather. I don"t know how far this tale goes back. A celestial G.o.d was rumored to have been sent here by the Jade Emperor. He transformed himself into a general, and fought many wars for the king who was ruling at that time. When his mission was successfully completed, his spirit soared back into the heavens, and his body and the weapons he used in battle were buried together in a tomb that is better than that of a king. Of course it had to be-he was after all a celestial G.o.d."
"Since this is well-known, there must certainly be a lot of people going to search for this tomb, aren"t there?" Uncle Three asked nervously. "Has anyone found it yet?"
"Oh, don"t you know? n.o.body can reach it now. The year before last during the landslide, that place collapsed into the ruins as well. Guess what fell out of that spot in the mountain?"
"What? Another one of your cooking pots?" Big Kui said.
"Don"t be stupid. If it was an ancient pot, it would have been taken away and n.o.body would ever talk about it again. I"ll tell you what, but you can"t tell anyone else." The waitress took a generous swig of her beer and muttered, "Hundreds of human heads were dug out of that spot."
Chapter Eight.
THE VALLEY.
Uncle Three frowned. "All heads without bodies?"
The waitress said, "Yes! Isn"t that creepy? Ever since the landslide, not even mules can make it to that place. If you guys want to go there, you"ll have to go on your own. I imagine once you get there, all you"ll be able to do is take a look. A few groups of people have been there before and the most experienced of them just shook their heads when they saw the collapsed hillside."
Uncle Three looked at Poker-face, who was slouching lazily as though he hadn"t heard a thing. "Before the mountain collapsed, there had to be people who had gone in before, right?" my uncle asked.
"True enough, but I saw them go in for a few days and in the end come back out just as they went in, carrying no new discoveries. They were all happy to leave that place and when they came out, their clothes smelled terrible, like garments worn by beggars. My grandfather said they most likely did not even come close to the tomb. Why do you ask? Do you gentlemen want to try?"
"Having heard what you said, we may as well go take a look. Otherwise, wouldn"t this trip be in vain?" Uncle Three smiled, and did not say any more.
The waitress went back into the kitchen and as she left, Panzi said, "Sounds like that big grave would be in the right place. But like this waitress said, it would be difficult to carry our equipment into the hills."
"There are ways to rob with equipment, and ways to rob without them. Graves from the Warring States Period are usually straight pits, going up and down with no coffin chamber. I don"t know if this was dug in the same way, but we"ll find out when we"re at the site. As far as how big the grave is, and how deep it goes, I"m afraid this won"t be the same as the ones we"ve robbed before. The heads that were found after the mountain collapsed sound as though they came out of what our ancestors called a Devil Heads" Pit, a place where humans and animals were sacrificed and then buried along with the deceased." Uncle Three took out the map, and pointed to the circle.
"You see," he said, "this is the place, still far away from the tomb we seek. The people who came before us would have stopped here if they followed the essential principles of Feng Shui. Here is the place we are intended to go. Under normal circ.u.mstances, the grave would be right below here. But you see, if you walk farther, here is an entrance like the tip of a calabash. If we don"t go in there, it"ll be impossible to find out whether there is a different world inside, which is our true goal. The person who designed this cave must have been extremely familiar with the Feng Shui skill of going for the vital point when attacking a dragon, and intentionally placed a decoy spot here for robbers to dig into. I"m sure that below this false entrance is an empty tomb full of intricately designed traps!" Uncle Three saw from the expressions on our faces how excited his speech was making us and he proudly continued. "If it wasn"t for this map, we would be stuck here even if our ancestors came to help us. Tomorrow we will take only what is necessary, travel light, and try to go into this place. If it really is in fact impa.s.sable, we"ll come back to get more equipment."
We nodded, went to our rooms, and began to a.s.semble what we would need to take with us.
We knew we didn"t need our traditional Luoyang shovels, choosing instead a shovel used for archaeological excavations, which could be lengthened as necessary by s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g sections of steel pipe to the head. This was easier to carry and much less noticeable than the wooden Luoyang shovel.
Since the graves of the Warring States Period typically went as deep as thirty feet or more, we couldn"t pack too little. We each carried one shovel head and ten steel sections to form as long a handle as we might need. Panzi had a short rifle which could hardly be seen when carried under one"s shirt. He stuffed this and several rounds of ammunition into his backpack. I had only a digital camera and a small trowel-it was obvious that I was a grave-robbing intern.
Since the night was quiet and my body was exhausted from our adventures, I slept incredibly well and when I woke up, my joints felt numb and weak. We hastily ate breakfast, bought some packaged dry food, and set off on our journey. The waitress was cheerful and asked a kid from her village to lead us to the site of the collapsed mountain.
We walked for more than two hours when suddenly the kid pointed, announcing, "It"s right here!"
Indeed, the valley ahead of us had obviously been carved out by the landslide and we now stood between two mountain ranges. The valley was very long and looked as though during the rainy season it would become the bed of a river. However, having been covered by debris and parched by several months of drought, only a shallow trickle was visible in the middle of the valley.
I patted the kid on the head and said, "Go back home to play and thank your sister for us!"
The kid reached out a hand. "Give me three hundred!"
I was puzzled. The kid didn"t say another word but stood with his hand stretched out, his eyes fixed on me. I asked, "What the h.e.l.l?"
Uncle Three laughed and gave three hundred yuan to the kid. Then he took out a gun, and the boy ran off.
I suddenly realized what happened, and smiled. "The country kids nowadays are such rascals!"
"Men die for birds..." Big Kui misquoted the old saying of "Men die for money, birds die for food." Panzi aimed a kick at him. "Don"t you have any culture at all? Die for a bird? You"re probably dying for a c.o.c.k."
We began to climb. The rocks were more stable than we antic.i.p.ated and we scaled the slope easily. The place was not nearly as scary as the waitress had described, and we saw none of the hundreds of heads she told us about. Behind the collapsed hills was a large canyon which stretched gradually into trees, and then a dense forest touched the horizon. As we stared at the landscape, we saw an old man getting water at the rivulet that ran through the bottom of the canyon where it touched the ruined hills. I looked closely and thought, s.h.i.t, isn"t that the d.a.m.n guide that led us into the cave? The old man saw us and was so startled that he fell into the stream. Then he crawled back out and ran.
Panzi cursed and laughed. He took out his pistol and fired a shot into the sand right in front of the old man"s left leg. The old man jumped with terror and ran in the opposite direction. Panzi fired three consecutive shots, all of which landed right in the old guy"s footprints.
Realizing Panzi was playing with him, the old man knew he had nowhere to run and quickly knelt on the ground. He kowtowed to us as we ran towards him. "Gentlemen, please have mercy! I am an old man who has no way out of my poverty. That was why I tried to deceive you as I did. I never thought you would be such supernatural beings. My horizons are much too narrow!"
He burst into tears and Uncle Three asked him, "Why, I see you have plenty of energy. You really can"t figure out a way to make an honest living?"
"I won"t lie to you. I am very sick. I might seem like I"m in good health, but really I have to take several doses of medicine a day. You see, I am only drawing water to brew my herbal remedy." He pointed to the bucket that lay overturned beside him.
"Let me ask you, you old cheat. How did you disappear so suddenly in the cave?"
"If I tell you, will you promise not to kill me?" the old man begged.
"Relax. Our society today is governed by law," Uncle Three said. "You"ll be forgiven if you truthfully account for your crimes. Only resistance will be treated severely."
"Yes, yes, I"ll confess," the old man said. "Actually it was no big deal. The cave might seem like a straight tunnel, but in fact there are many hidden alcoves within. If you don"t know they are there, you will never find them. I waited until you were distracted, stood up, and made my way into one of these alcoves. I was supposed to wait for your boat to leave before I came out. Once Donkey Egg heard my whistle, he would pull out a wooden tub, and I would be able to go home. When the mission was successful, the boatman Young Lu would give me my share, which really is never very much." He gasped as something suddenly came to mind. "Oh yes. Where is Lu? He fell into your hands, didn"t he?"