"Stop trying to change the subject. Henry, we need to figure this out." She tried to make her voice less high pitched as she felt fear creep into her voice. Ellie took a breathe as she tried to collect her thoughts."Yes, that is true." He looked at her seriously for a moment as he nibbled behind her ear. "But, today is mine. I know there are a lot of reservations in your mind, but my own intention is to make you feel very very good. You always make sure it is so for me, so I want to return the favor. Yes, my future can be with someone else, but I"m not cheating on anyone. I haven"t even approached the other her for G.o.d"s sake. I"m married to you. I want to taste what that means. I want on my birthday to enjoy my wife. I want you to stop thinking about such silly things. Maybe you need to be a bit more convinced. What"s wrong with a husband to seduce his wife?"
Henry tilted his head and began to slowly kiss along her collarbone. He paused to look up at her as one of his hands trailed almost chaistly against her knee. Ellie felt locked in a car"s headlights as what she had always dreamed of was suddenly at her grasp. Her stomach was tied in knots as she nodded quickly before looking away. She peeked back at him not believing what he did next.
He lowered his head down and pushed her legs apart he could see that his attentions had not gone unnoticed at the core of her. The idea of it seemed to wring a mischievious grin off of his already intense expression. He pulled himself back upto full height before kissing her softly. Then as his toungue entered her mouth the same motion was copied by his hand inside of her.
Ellie closed her eyes as the intensity boiled in her. She felt like a tea kettle tising in temperature. Slowly the rising feeling in her melted into the hunger of the kiss. She recalled the earlier attempts she had with men who scratched her insides with bluntly cut nails. The unpleasantness of the former unexperience was molded into something new as her mind hummed with the slowly building climax. She moaned into his mouth as the sensations peaked and she tore her mouth away as he fingers pulled out quickly.
Ellie looked from the wetness to the mesmerized look on his face. She moved backwards as she wanted some s.p.a.ce. That wasn"t supposed to happen quite like that. He looked at her startled eyes before quickly cleaning his fingers off with a rag.
Henry"s thoughts turned darker as he realized she was quite bulnerable with him. He wasn"t even sure if Nadia was true to her word in giving him a chance. He knew that she went through men like a dealer with a stack of cards. In a game of blackjack she was the one usually counting cards and knowing what her opponent could play. She would weigh her chances with him like a well placed bet. The odds would never be in his favor if he bet and did not cheat like she did. It would be nice to be free of all gambling and game. He knew Ellie was good at dealing with an open heart while he was not. Here he was woefully ignorant. If his wife charms were more potent than his Nadia"s then he really was about to descent into a spider"s very tangled web. Here his mind had gone blank while he had tried to maintain her pleasure. What an abomination to rational thought.
"I don"t want to do that again." Henry said, his voice coming out like crackling ice. "It"s not productive."
Ellie froze as she looked at him with bubbling moisture in the rims of her eyes. "What do you mean? I thought this was your idea in the first place. I wouldn"t have let you if—"
"I do feel strange." Henry moved closer to her and enveloped her into his arms. Ellie could feel a lick of anger rising, but realized there was a shaky panic in his chest. He clutched her tigher as his breath struggled to catch.
Ellie hand soothed against his back as the tremors continued. "Henry. You didn"t do anything wrong. We"re at home. No one cares what happens between us here. I don"t hate what you did." She held him tighter and was relieved when his breathe came back in measured control. "Remember I have no expectations for you beyond this house. This is ours. While we"re married who cares what happens. But, I never want you to continue doing something if it really did not make you feel good. Romance. Physical contact. It should be something you enjoy as much as I do."
He felt her breath in his shoulder as the tremors began. He hated when he was like this but her body was like a soft cat who only wished him solace while the world outside did not. The affection was infectious as he responsed in kind. His only intent with her was always to make her feel the same good that rubbed off from her onto everything. Such a light to hold, he did not deserve. The rushing blood stopped in its downward path as her rational thoughts pulled his mind out from the well it had been going down. He wanted to do more to her to continue the stream of warmth that would numb her mind into bliss. That comfort he wanted her to feel in him. She was too good to be his real partner.
He squished her playfully to entinguish her concern for his pa.s.sed panic. "I agree with your points. I just got overwhelmed with a lot of it at once." His words came put of him with regret ringing off of each word. "My mind was one place while my head was somewhere else. I just couldn"t rectify my two selves. I don"t know if starting a relationship with the contours you described would be in my own best interests. I don"t want to injure my heart further and I meber want you to look at me with any more than delight over our shared time together. Can I leave you happy? Letting you go isn"t a good thought when I can hold you like this. It"s confusing. I can"t come to a conclusion. Pardon the toungue twister there. My mind really is in knots."
Her hands pulled at rhe longer strands of hair at the back of his neck making a cold spot there as her fingers stopped. Henry wished she had continued.
"I"m stuck too." Ellie agreed. "Maybe this isn"t a good idea at all. I know your confusion isn"t helping you. It"s probably the smartest idea to sleep on it. I really can"t think of giving yiu soace when I"m this close to you. All I want is to convince you to stay and fix this broken house with me. Be an English baron instead of an American CEO."
Henry laughed with her. What a strange thought that he had a t.i.tle too now? He couldn"t imagine sitting alone in his office in the city single. It would be difficult not to remember this hour in the cellar when he was alone again