"I don"t understand how someone could live that way. It sounds like living in a Fast & Furious sequel more than real life. I"m sure you had something or someone you loved." Henry shook his head as he tried to see from her perspective."We just all learn to love different things when we were growing up. My love just happened to be something I knew was worth the risk. Nolan has always supported me following this dream of mine.
He is self-sufficient in his goals as I am in mine. He loves me happy more than he loved me bored and safe. Everyday I think about it--I wish I could get a chance to finish the race I started.." Ellie said staring off into s.p.a.ce dreamily. Her eyes met Henry"s. The bolt of sunlight streaming through the window lit up his face so it looked like it was carved from marble--sharp and sure. His eyes had little bits of hazel in them which took her breath away. She wished she had more time to really relish the fact that she had bagged such a beautiful man.
She hid a sigh as she now realized that if she had enough time she would have loved to get to know him better. He was infinitely interesting. She could have fought to hold his heart in her two hands even though she knew his social cla.s.s and pay grade were high above hers. There was wetness forming on the corner of her eyes. She was surprised to feel pressure as Henry lifted the moisture with a tissue. Ellie looked at him in surprise.
Henry smoothed the hair out of her forehead, "You don"t have to be strong for me Ellie. I know you"ve been keeping it together for Nolan for so long. I know I"m not good enough to have you."
Ellie started to wipe her tears when Henry caught her hands and dabbed at her eyes. "Please, let me do this. I promise I"ll take care of you and everyone you love for as long as I can."
She wiped her nose, before grabbing the tissue out of his hands and blowing her nose loudly. She smiled with a serene expression. Her voice was firm. "No. I can do what little I can too."
"Isn"t this so weird now that you think about it? If I didn"t need to get married, I would have never met you. We would have pa.s.sed each other in that hallway and not know. I don"t know why . . . but I feel really protective over you. I just don"t want any more things to cause you difficulty. I wanted a marriage just on paper, but I keep feeling things I don"t understand. Do you feel it too? I lost both of my parents and I have no siblings. I"m completely alone in the world. I just don"t know why this is more than what I bargained for?"
Ellie touched his hand softly. "Yes. I do understand a bit. I didn"t think I would get this from you." Henry put his palm on hers before clasping her hand. His hand was surprisingly warm and Ellie could feel a tingling in the back of her hands. She wished she had the strength to touch more of him. She could see the sharp collarbones and the curve of his neck. It would be a pleasure to touch him, that would be really invigorating. But she knew as her brain sent a signal to her hips, they would again, not respond. "I hope, when I"m not here anymore, you do find somebody who can hold you in the ways I can"t. I"m sorry I"m filling the s.p.a.ce where she is supposed to be."