Out of boredom, though, he plugged away, walked past the disdainfully-staring eyes of neighbors to the village library, and withdrew dusty microfiles on robotry. Eventually he had acquired a little skill at contemplating what, essentially, remained a mystery to his easily-tired mind. It was not completely satisfactory but it would be enough to get him a better-than-average menial job when he had finally accepted his new condition.
At long last a letter came from Ted on Mars. It said:
Guilty by a.s.sociation, that"s what I am! When it first happened I was furious with the two of you but resignation has its own consolations and I"ve given up the ranting. Of course, I"ve lost my job and my new one will keep me from Earth a longer time but the real loss is not being able to think on Earth Central once a day. As you know, it"s a funny civilization here anyway. As yet, there"s no local telepathic Central but all Active Communicators are permitted to think in on Earth Central once a day--except for the big shots who can even telepath social engagements to each other by way of Earth! Privileged but a pretty dull crowd anyway.
Oh yes, another exception to the general ration, Suspendeds like me.
Funny thing about that, seems to me there are more Suspended from the Earth System all the time. Maybe I"m imagining it.
As lovingly as ever, your son, Ted. (NO. _More_ than ever!)
Rhoda really went to pieces for a while after that letter but, oddly enough, all recriminations soon stopped. She began going into the city every day and after each visit seemed a little calmer for having done so.
Finally Connor could no longer remain silent about it. But by now all conversations had to be broached by tactful beating around the bush so he began by saying he had decided to take a lower level job in the metropolis.
Rhoda was not surprised. "I know. A good idea but I think you should wait a while longer and do something else first."
That made him suspicious. "Are you developing a new kind of unblockable ESP? How"d you know?"
"No," she laughed. "Some day we will maybe and people will use it better this time. But right now I"m just going by what I see. You"ve been studying Max and I knew you were bound to get restless." She became thoughtful. "What you really want to know, though, is what I"ve been doing in the city. Well, at first I did very little. I kept ending up in theatres where we Suspendeds can go. That gave a little relief. But since Ted"s letter it"s been different. I finally got up the courage to see Dr. Newbridge."
"Newbridge!"
"Connor, he"s a great man. You should see him too."
"My mind may have smaller scope outside the System but what"s left of it isn"t cracking, Rhoda." Working himself into a spasm of righteous rage, he stalked out into the garden and tried to convince himself he was calmly studying the rose bushes" growth. But Sheila and Tony Williams came down the lane that skirted the garden and, as their eyes moved haughtily past him, his rage shifted its focus. He came back into the house and remained in sullen silence.
Rhoda went on as if there had been no interruption. "I still say Dr.
Newbridge is a great man. He dropped out of the System of his own free will and that certainly took courage!"
"He willingly gave up his advantages and privileges?"
"Yes. And he"s explained why to me. He felt it was destroying every Subscriber"s ability to think and that it could not last. Some day we would be without anything to do our thinking and he wanted out."
Connor sat down and stared thoughtfully out the window. Max had just lumbered into the garden and, having unscrewed one hand to replace it with a flexible spade, was starting on the evening schedule for turning over the soil at the base of the plants. He would go methodically down one flower bed, then up the next one, until all had been worked over, then would start all over again unless ordered to stop. "Are we to end up the same way?" Connor shuddered. He slapped his knee. "All right, I"ll go with you tomorrow. I"ve got to see what he"s like--a man who"d voluntarily surrender ninety percent of his powers!"
The next morning they rode into the city together and went to the Harker Building. It was in an area dense with non-telepaths each one showing that telltale cleft of anxiety in his forehead but briskly going about his business as if anxiety were actually a liveable quality. Newbridge had the same look but there was a nonetheless rea.s.suring ease to the way he greeted them. He was tall and white-haired and his face frequently a.s.sumed an abstracted look as if his mind were reaching far away.
"You"ve come here," he said, "for two reasons. The first is dissatisfaction with your life. More precisely, you"re dissatisfied with your att.i.tude toward life but you wouldn"t be willing to put it that way, not yet. Secondly, you want to know why anyone would willingly leave the System."
Connor leaned back in his chair. "That"ll do for a starter."
"Right. Well, there aren"t many anomalies like me but we do exist. Most people outside the System are there because they"ve been Suspended for supposed infractions, or they"ve been put out through guilt by a.s.sociation, or because they were born into a family already in that condition. Nothing like that happened to me. From early childhood I was trained by parents and teachers to discipline the projective potential of my mind into the System. Like every other paraNormal, I received my education by tapping Central for contact with information centers and other minds. But I was a fluke." His dark blue eyes twinkled.
"Biological units are never so standardized that _all_ of them fall under any system that can be devised. I functioned in this System, true, but I could imagine my mind existing outside, could see my functioning _from the outside_. This is terribly rare--most people are limited to the functions which sustain them. They experience nothing else except when circ.u.mstances force them to. I, though, could see the System was not all-powerful."
"Not all-powerful!" Connor exploded. "It got rid of me awfully easily."
His wife tried to calm him. "Listen, dear, then decide."
"You"re surviving as a pariah, Mr. Newman, aren"t you? Your wife tells me you"ve even started to study robot controls, valuable knowledge for the future and personally satisfying now. Millions of people do survive as outsiders, as do the planetary colonists who only have limited access so far to social telepathy. The System has built into it defenses against Subscribers who lack confidence in it--if it didn"t it would collapse. But people _in_ the System are not forced to remain there.
They can _will_ themselves out any time they close their minds to it, as I did. But they don"t want to will themselves out of it--you certainly didn"t--and their comfortable inertia keeps everything going. I think you have to know a little about its history, a history which never would have interested you if you were still comfortably inside it."
He slowly outlined the way it had developed. First those uncertain steps toward understanding the universally latent powers of telepathy, then growing chaos as each individual spent most of his time fighting off unwanted messages. After a period of desperate discomfort a few great minds, made superhuman by their ability to tap each others" resources, had devised the Central System Switchboard. Only living units, delicately poised between rigid order and sheer chaos, could receive mental messages but this problem had been solved by the molecular biologists with their synthesized, self-replicating axons, vastly elongated and cunningly intertwined by the billions. These responded to every properly-modulated thought wave pa.s.sing through them and made the same careful sortings as a human cell absorbing matter from the world.
Then, to make certain this central mind would never become chaotic, there was programmed into it an automatic rejection of all sceptical challenges.
"That was the highest moment of our race," Newbridge sighed. "We had harnessed infinite complexities to our needs. But the success was too complete. Ever since then humanity has become more and more dependent on what was to be essentially a tool and nothing more. Each generation became lazier and there"s no one alive who can keep this Central System in proper working order." He leaned forward to emphasize his point. "You see, it"s very slowly breaking down. There"s a steady accretion of inefficiency mutations in the axons and that"s why more and more switching mistakes are being made--as in your case."
Connor was dazed by it all. "What"s going to be the upshot, I mean, _how_ is it going to break down?"
Newbridge threw up his hands. "I don"t know--it"s probably a long way off anyway. I guess the most likely thing is that more and more errors will acc.u.mulate and plenty of people will be Suspended just because Central is developing irrational quirks. Maybe the critical social ma.s.s for change will exist only when more are outside the System than inside.
I suspect when that happens we"ll be able to return to _direct_ telepathic contact. As things are, our projection attempts are always blocked." A buzzing sound came out of a small black box on the doctor"s desk, startling Connor who in his executive days had received all such signals directly in his head. "Well, I"ve another patient waiting so this will have to be the end of our chat."
Connor and his wife exchanged glances. He said, "I"d like to come back.
I"ll probably have a twenty-hour week so I"ll be in town a few days a week."
"More than welcome to come again," Newbridge grinned. "Just make the arrangements with Miss Richards, my nurse."
When they were in the street Rhoda asked, "Well, what do you think now?"
"I don"t know what to think yet--but I do feel better. Rhoda, would you mind going home alone? I think I"ll find a job right away."
"Mind?" she laughed. "It"s wonderful news!"
After he left her he wandered around the city awhile. In his paraNormal days he had never noticed them but it certainly was true that there were a lot of Suspendeds about. He studied some of them as he went along, trying to fathom their likes and dislikes by the way they moved and their expressions. But, unlike the paraNormals, each was different and it was impossible to see deeply into them.
Then, as he rounded a corner, he was suddenly face to face with his new enemy. A large flat park stood before him and there in the middle was a hundred-story tower of smooth seamless material, the home of the Central System"s brain. There were smaller towers at many points in the world but this was the most important, capable of receiving on its mile-long axons, antennas of the very soul itself, every thought projected at it from any point in the solar system. The housing gleamed blindingly in the sun of high noon, as perfect as the day it had been completed. That surface was designed to repel all but the most unusual of the radiation barrages that could bring on subtle changes in the brain within. The breakdown, he thought bitterly, would take too many centuries to consider.
He turned away and headed into an Employment Exchange. The man behind the desk there was a Suspended, too, and showed himself to be sympathetically understanding as soon as he studied the application form. "ParaNormal until a few months ago," he nodded. "Tough change to make, I guess."
Connor managed a little grin. "Maybe I"ll be grateful it happened some day."
"A curious thought, to say the least." He glanced down the application again. "Always some kind of work available although there do seem to be more Suspendeds all the time. Robot repair--that"s good! Always a shortage there."
So Connor went to work in a large building downtown along with several hundred other men whose princ.i.p.al duty was overseeing the repair of robot servitors by other servitors and rectifying any minor errors that persisted. He was pleased to find that, while some of his fellow workmen knew much more about the work than he did, there were as many who knew less. But the most pleasing thing of all was the way they cooperated with one another. They could not reach directly into each other"s minds but the very denial of this power gave them a sense of common need.
He visited Newbridge once a week and that, too, proved increasingly helpful. As time went on, he found he was spending less of it regretting what he had lost. But once in a while a paraNormal came through the workshop, eyes moving past the Suspendeds as if they did not exist and the old resentment would return in all its bitterness. And when he himself did not feel this way he could still sense it in men around him.
"Perfectly natural way to feel," Rhoda said, "not that it serves any purpose."
"It"s paraNormal lack of reaction," he tried to explain, "that"s what really bothers me. They don"t even bother to notice our hatred because we have the strength of insects next to theirs. They can all draw on each others" resources and that totals to infinitely more than any of us have, even if as individuals they"re so much less. The perfect form of security."
But for a moment one day that security seemed to be collapsing. Above the work floor in Connor"s factory there was a gallery of small but luxurious offices in which the executive staff of paraNormals "worked."