"So much so that no one else could win if they did," said Lord Vorreedi. "They have their own annual bash, very privately, inside the Celestial Garden, but it"s on hold till this period of official mourning is completed."
"So... these ghem-women exhibitors are, um, imitating their haut half-sisters?"
"Trying to, anyway. That"s the name of the game, here."
The ghem-ladies" exhibits were arranged not in rows, but each set individually in its own curve or corner. Miles wondered briefly what kind of jockeying went on behind the scenes for favorable sites and s.p.a.ces, and what kind of status-points one could win for obtaining the best ones, and if the compet.i.tion went as far as a.s.sa.s.sinations. Character-a.s.sa.s.sinations, anyway, he judged from a few s.n.a.t.c.hes of conversation from groups of ghem-ladies strolling about, admiring and critiquing.
A large tank of fish caught his eye. They were filmy-finned, their iridescent scales colored in the exact pattern of one of the ghem-clan"s face paintings: bright blue, yellow, black and white. The fish swirled in a watery gavotte. It was not too remarkable, genetic-engineering-wise, except that the proud and hopeful exhibitor hovering nearby appeared to be a girl of about twelve. She seemed to be a mascot for her clan"s ladies" more serious exhibits. Give me six years, and watch out! her small smile seemed to say.
Blue roses and black orchids were so routine, they were used merely as framing borders for the real entries. A young girl pa.s.sed by, in tow of her ghem-parents, with a unicorn about half a meter high scampering after her on a golden leash. It wasn"t even an exhibit... maybe a commercial product, for all Miles knew. Unlike Ha.s.sadar"s District Agricultural Fair, utility did not seem to be a consideration. It might even count as a defect. The compet.i.tion was for art; life was merely the medium, a bio-palette supplying effects.
They paused to lean on a balcony railing that gave a partial over-view down the hanging garden"s slopes. A green flicker by his feet caught Miles s eye. An array of glossy leaves and tendrils was spiraling up Ivan"s leg. Red blossoms slowly opened and closed, breathing a deep and delicate perfume, albeit the total effect was unfortunately mouth-like. He stared in fascination for a full minute before murmuring, "Uh, Ivan... ? Don"t move. But look at your left boot."
As Miles watched, another tendril slowly wrapped itself around Ivan"s knee and began hoisting. Ivan glanced down, lurched, and swore. "What the h.e.l.l is it? Get it off me!"
"I doubt it"s poisonous," said the protocol officer uncertainly. "But perhaps you had better hold still."
"I... think it"s a climbing rose. Lively little thing, isn"t it?" Miles grinned, and bent nearer, cautiously checking for thorns before extending his hands. They might be retractable or something. Colonel Vorreedi made a hesitant restraining motion.
But before he mustered the nerve to risk skin and flesh, a plump ghem-lady carrying a large basket hurried up the path. "Oh, there you are, you bad thing!" she cried. "Excuse me, sir," she addressed Ivan without looking up, kneeling by his boot and commencing to unwind her quarry. "Too much nitrogen this morning, I"m afraid..."
The rose let go its last tendril from around Ivan"s boot with a regretful recoil, and was unceremoniously plunged into the basket with some other writhing escapees, pink and white and yellow. The woman, her eyes darting here and there at corners and under benches, hurried on.
"I think it liked you," said Miles to Ivan. "Pheromones?"
"Get stuffed," murmured Ivan back. "Or I"ll dip you in nitrogen, and stake you out under the... good G.o.d, what is this?"
They"d rounded a corner to an open area displaying a graceful tree, with large fuzzy heart- shaped leaves filling two or three dozen branches that arced and drooped again, swaying slightly with the burden of the podded fruit tipping each branch. The fruit was mewing. Miles and Ivan stepped closer.
"Now... now that is just plain wrong," said Ivan indignantly.
Bundled upside down in each fruit pod was a small kitten, long and silky white fur fluffing out around each feline face, framing ears and whiskers and bright blue eyes. Ivan cradled one in his hand, and lifted it to his face for closer examination. With one blunt finger he carefully tried to pet the creature; it batted playfully at his hand with soft white front paws.
"Kittens like this should be out chasing string, not glued into d.a.m.ned trees to score points for some ghem-b.i.t.c.h," Ivan opined hotly. He glanced around the area; they were temporarily alone and un.o.bserved.
"Urn... I"m not so sure they"re glued in," said Miles. "Wait, I don"t think you"d better-"
Trying to stop Ivan from rescuing a kitten from a tree was approximately as futile as trying to stop Ivan from making a pa.s.s at a pretty woman. It was some kind of spinal reflex. By the glint in his eye, he was bent on releasing all the tiny victims, to chase after the climbing roses perhaps.
Ivan snapped the pod from the end of its branch. The kitten emitted a squall, convulsed, and went still.
"Kitty, kitty... ?" Ivan whispered doubtfully into his cupped hand. An alarming trickle of red fluid coursed from the broken stem across his wrist.
Miles pulled back the pod-leaves around the kitten"s... corpse, he feared. There was no back half to the beast. Pink naked legs fused together and disappeared into the stem part of the pod.
"... I don"t think it was ripe, Ivan."
"That"s horrible!" Ivan"s breath rasped in his throat with his outrage, but the volume was pitched way down. By unspoken mutual consent, they sidled quickly away from the kitten-tree and around the nearest unpeopled corner. Ivan glanced around frantically for a place to dispose of the tiny corpse, and so distance himself from his sin and vandalism. "Grotesque!"
Miles said thoughtfully, "Oh, I don"t know. It"s not any more grotesque than the original method, when you think about it. I mean, have you ever watched a mother cat give birth to kittens?"
Ivan covered his full hand with the other, and glared at his cousin. The protocol officer studied Ivan"s dismay with a mixture of exasperation and sympathy. Miles thought that if he had known Ivan longer, the proportion of the first emotion to the second would be much higher, but Vorreedi only said, "My lord... would you like me to dispose of that for you... discreetly?"
"Uh, yes, please," said Ivan, looking very relieved. "If you don"t mind." He hastily palmed off the inert pod of fluff onto the protocol officer, who hid it in a pocket handkerchief.
"Stay here. I"ll be back shortly," he said, and went off to get rid of the evidence.
"Good one, Ivan," growled Miles. "Want to keep your hands in your pockets after this?"
Ivan scrubbed at the sticky substance on his hand with his own handkerchief, spat into his palm, and scrubbed again. Out, out, d.a.m.ned spot... "Don"t you start making noises like my mother. It wasn"t my fault.... Things were a little more complicated than I"d antic.i.p.ated." Ivan stuffed his handkerchief back in his pocket, and stared around, frowning. "This isn"t fun anymore. I want to go back to the emba.s.sy."
"You have to hang on till I meet my contact, at least."
"And when will that be?"
"Soon, I suspect."
They strolled to the end of the aisle, where another little balcony gave an enticing view of the next lower section.
"d.a.m.n," said Ivan.
"What do you see?" asked Miles, tracking his gaze. He stretched to stand on tiptoe, but it wasn"t enough to spot what had caught Ivan"s negative attention.
"Our good buddy Lord Yenaro is here. Two levels down, talking to some women."
"It... could be a coincidence. This place is lousy with ghem-lords, with the award ceremony this afternoon. The winning women gain honor for their clan, naturally they want to cash in. And this is just the sort of artsy stuff that tickles his fancy, I think."
Ivan c.o.c.ked an eyebrow at him. "You want to bet on that?"
"Nope."
Ivan sighed. "I don"t suppose there"s any way we can get him before he gets us."
"Don"t know. Keep your eyes open, anyway."
"No lie."
They stared around some more. A ghem-lady of middle-age and dignified bearing approached them, and gave Miles an acknowledging, if not exactly friendly, nod. Her palm turned outward briefly, displaying to him a heavy ring, with a raised screaming-bird pattern filigreed with complex encodes.
"Now?" Miles said quietly.
"No." Her cultured voice was a low-pitched alto. "Meet me by the west entrance in thirty minutes."
"I may not be able to achieve precision."
"I"ll wait." She pa.s.sed on.
"c.r.a.p," said Ivan, after a moment"s silence. "You"re really going to try to bring this off. You will be the h.e.l.l careful, won"t you?"
"Oh, yes."
The protocol officer was taking a long time to find the nearest waste-disposal unit, Miles thought. But just as his nerves were stretching to the point of going to look for the man, he reappeared, walking quickly toward them. His smile of greeting seemed a little strained.
"My lords," he nodded. "Something has come up. I"m going to have to leave you for a while. Stay together, and don"t leave the building, please."
Perfect. Maybe. "What sort of something?" asked Miles. "We spotted Yenaro."
"Our practical joker? Yes. We know he"s here. My a.n.a.lysts judge him a non-lethal annoyance. I must leave you to defend yourselves from him, temporarily. But my outer-perimeter man, who is one of my sharpest fellows, has spotted another individual, known to us. A professional."
The term professional, in this context, meant a professional killer, or something along those lines. Miles nodded alertly.
"We don"t know why he"s here," Vorreedi went on. "I have some heavier backup on the way. In the meanwhile, we propose to... drop in on him for a short chat."
"Fast-penta is illegal here for anyone but the police and the imperials, isn"t it?"
"I doubt this one would go to the authorities to complain," murmured Vorreedi, with a slightly sinister smile.
"Have fun."
"Watch yourselves." The protocol officer nodded, and drifted away, as-if-casually.
Miles and Ivan walked on, pausing to examine a couple more rooted floral displays that seemed less unnervingly uncertain of their kingdom and phylum. Miles counted minutes in his head. He could break away shortly, and reach his rendezvous right on time....
"Well, h.e.l.lo, sweet thing," a musical voice trilled from behind them. Ivan turned around a beat faster than Miles. Lady Arvin and Lady Benello stood with arms linked. They unlinked arms and... oozed, Miles decided was the term, up on either side of Ivan, capturing one side each.
"Sweet thing?" Miles murmured in delight. Ivan spared him a brief glower before turning to his greeters.
"We heard you were here, Lord Ivan," the blonde, Lady Arvin, continued. Tall Lady Benello concurred, her cascade of amber curls bouncing with her nod. "What are you doing afterwards?"
"Ah... no particular plans," said Ivan, his head swiveling in an attempt to divide his attention precisely in half.
"Ooh," said Lady Arvin. "Perhaps you would care to have dinner with me, at my penthouse."
Lady Benello interrupted, "Or, if you"re not in an urban mood, I know this place not far from here, on a lake. Each patron is rowed out to their own little tiny island, and a picnic is served, alfresco. It"s very private."
Each woman smiled repellingly at the other. Ivan looked faintly hunted. "What a tough decision," he temporized.
"Come along and see Lady Benello"s sisters pretties, while you think about it then, Lord Ivan," said Lady Arvin equably. Her eye fell on Miles. "You too, Lord Vorkosigan. We"ve been neglecting our most senior guest quite shamefully, I think. Upon discussion, we think this might be a regrettable oversight." Her hand tightened on Ivan"s arm, and she peeked around his torso to give her red- haired companion a bright, meaningful smile. "This could be the solution to Lord Ivan"s dilemma."
"In the dark all cats are gray?" Miles murmured. "Or at any rate, all Barrayarans?"
Ivan winced at the mention of felines. Lady Arvin looked blank, but Miles had a bad feeling the redhead had caught the joke. In any case, she detached herself from Ivan-was that a flash of triumph, crossing Lady Arvin"s face?--and turned to Miles.
"Indeed, Lord Vorkosigan. Do you have any particular plans?"
"I"m afraid so," said Miles with a regret that was not entirely feigned. "In fact, I have to be going now."
"Right now? Oh, do come... see my sister"s exhibit, at least." Lady Benello stopped short of linking arms with him, but seemed willing to walk by his side, even if it left her rival in temporary possession of Ivan.
Time. It wouldn"t hurt to give the protocol officer a few more minutes to become fully engaged with his quarry. Miles smiled thinly, and allowed himself to be dragged along in the wake of the party, Lady Arvin in the lead towing Ivan. That tall redhead lacked the porcelain delicacy of the haut Rian. On the other hand, she was not nearly so... impossible. The difficult we do at once. The impossible takes...
Stop it. These women are users, you know that.
Oh, G.o.d, let me be used....
Focus, boy, G.o.ddammit.
They walked down the switchback pathway, arriving at the next lower level. Lady Arvin turned in at a small circular open s.p.a.ce screened by trees in tubs. Their leaves were glossy and jewel-like, but they were merely a frame for the display in the center. The display was a little baffling, artistically. It seemed to consist of three lengths of thick brocade, in subtle hues, spiraling loosely around each other from the top of a man-high pole to trail on the carpet below. The dense circular carpet echoed the greens of the bordering trees, in a complex abstract pattern.
"Heads up," murmured Ivan.
"I see him," breathed Miles.
Lord Yenaro, dark-robed and smiling, was sitting on one of the little curving benches that also helped frame the s.p.a.ce.
"Where"s Veda?" asked Lady Benello.
"She just stepped out," said Yenaro, rising and nodding greetings to all.
"Lord Yenaro has been giving my sister Veda a little help with her entry," Lady Benello confided to Miles and Ivan.
"Oh?" said Miles, staring around and wondering where the trap was this time. He didn"t see it yet. "And, uh... just what is her entry?"
"I know it doesn"t look very impressive," said Lady Benello defensively, "but that"s not the point. The subtlety is in the smell. It"s the cloth. It emits a perfume that changes with the mood of the wearer. I still wonder if we ought to have had it made up into a dress," this last comment seemed aimed at Yenaro. "We could have had one of the servitors stand here and model it all day."
"It would have seemed too commercial," Yenaro said to her. "This will score better."
"And, um... it"s alive?" asked Ivan doubtfully.
"The scent glands in the cloth are as alive as the sweat glands in your body," Yenaro a.s.sured him. "Nevertheless, you are right, the display is a bit static. Step closer, and we"ll hand-demonstrate the effects."
Miles sniffed, his paranoia-heightened awareness trying to individually check every volatile molecule that entered his nostrils. The dome was clouded with scents of every kind, drifting down from the displays upslope, not to mention the perfumes of the ghem-ladies and Yenaro in their robes. But the brocade did seem to be emitting a pleasant mixture of odors. Ivan didn"t respond to the invitation to come closer either, Miles noticed. In addition to the perfumes, though, there was something else, a faint, oily acridity....
Yenaro picked up a pitcher from the bench and walked toward the pole. "More zlati ale?" Ivan murmured dryly.
Recognition and memory zinged through Miles, followed by a wave of adrenaline that nearly stopped his heart before it began racing. "Grab that pitcher, Ivan! Don"t let him spill it!"
Ivan did. Yenaro gave up his hold with a surprised snort. "Really, Lord Ivan!"
Miles dropped p.r.o.ne to the thick carpet, sniffing frantically. Yes.
"What are you doing?" asked Lady Benello, half-laughing. "The rug isn"t part of it!"
Oh, yes it is. "Ivan," said Miles urgently, scrambling back to his feet. "Hand me that-carefully-and tell me what you smell down there."
Miles took the pitcher much more tenderly than he would have a basket of raw eggs. Ivan, with a look of some bewilderment, did as he was told. He sniffed, then ran his hand through the carpet, and touched his fingers to his lips. And turned white. Miles knew Ivan had reached the same conclusion he had even before he turned his head and hissed, "Asterzine!"
Miles tiptoed back well away from the carpet, lifted the pitcher"s lid, and sniffed again. A faint odor resembling vanilla and oranges, gone slightly wrong, wafted up, which was exactly right.