What"s left to save? the voice in her head asked caustically. The man"s been cheating on you for years. He isn"t the same person you married. Or maybe he is, and you just didn"t realize what a jerk Jeff Buckley was when you were that starry-eyed virgin who fell in love with the college quarterback. You did what was expected of you by your family. By his family. You were the good girl who saved herself for marriage, but the son of a b.i.t.c.h never really cared. He expected it just like he expected you to behave as you always have. Dutiful. Chaste. Patiently waiting. Waiting for what? To be sc.r.a.ped into the garbage like yesterday"s mashed potatoes?
"I"m finished," Jeff said, breaking into her thoughts. He pushed his plate and gla.s.s at her.
Rising, Nora rinsed them and tucked them into the dishwasher, smiling to herself. She was so deferential, the good wife. She turned to him. "Would you like to go into the den to talk?" she asked.
"No, here is as good a place as any," he told her.
Nora nodded, and sat down again.
"I guess," he began, "you realize that we haven"t been getting on, or rather that we"ve been growing apart, for the last couple of years."
"You want a divorce, Jeff. Is that it?" Nora said, surprising him.
"Yeah, I do," he replied, a little taken aback by her calm.
"You don"t think we should try to mend this breach between us?" she pressed him. Well, for her own conscience" sake she had to at least make an effort, she thought.
"I think we"re past that," he answered her, but a wary look was creeping into his eyes.
Nora sighed. "If you don"t love me, I can"t hold you, Jeff," she said quietly. "If you want a divorce, you may have one. I a.s.sume there"s another woman."
"No tears? No recriminations?" He was at once suspicious.
"Jeff, I"d have to be a complete fool, and G.o.d knows I"ve been near to it over the course of our marriage, not to realize you weren"t happy these past few years. You grew in one direction. I grew in another. It"s no one"s fault. These things happen. And there is another woman, isn"t there?"
"You can"t prove adultery," he said quickly. "Besides, those aren"t grounds in this state. I want a divorce. Plain and simple."
"And I said you could have one. Plain and simple," Nora responded. So he had already checked out grounds, had he? What a b.a.s.t.a.r.d!
"Then I"ll have my lawyer set it up, and you can sign the papers when he has them," Jeff Buckley said to his wife.
"No, I think you should have your lawyer call my lawyer," Nora told him, almost laughing at the surprised look on his handsome face.
"When did you get a lawyer?" he demanded.
"Every woman has a lawyer, Jeff. That"s something you had best keep in mind, for future reference, of course." She was enjoying his discomfort immensely.
"Who"s going to represent you?" he asked suspiciously.
"Rick and his firm," she said softly.
He looked relieved. "Oh." Obviously he didn"t consider Rick was going to give his lawyer any difficulty. "Okay, I"ll have Raoul call him on Monday."
"Do you want me to tell the children?" she asked.
"Yeah. They"ll understand, and it"s better coming from you, Nora. When they see how on board you are with this, they won"t be so angry." Then he grew wary again. "You"re not going to blame me for this, are you? I don"t want you turning the kids against me over this. h.e.l.l, they must have seen how it was between us these last years."
"You"re their father, Jeff. Sadly I can"t change that," Nora told him.
"You were hot to be my wife," he answered crudely. "If I hadn"t been certain of your virginity when we married, I would have really wondered about you, Nora. But then you were always my good girl, weren"t you?"
"The girls in my generation were raised to wait, Jeff. How clever of you to understand that. But that doesn"t mean we don"t like s.e.x," Nora replied. The arrogant son of a b.i.t.c.h, she thought. He had always been like this, and she just hadn"t seen it.
"Like s.e.x?" He laughed. "You haven"t had s.e.x since I last banged you. Do you even remember when that was?"
"I don"t remember nonevents," Nora answered him softly.
"You know, you"re turning into a real b.i.t.c.h," he said, and then he stood up.
Nora laughed. "Good!" she told him.
"I"m going to go back into town tonight," he said. "Drive me to the station."
"Call a cab," Nora responded. "As of this moment, I am no longer at your service, my lord. Tell me, does your girlfriend cater to you the way I always have? Or is it her independence and f.u.c.k-you att.i.tude that turns you on, Jeff?" There was just the hint of a smile playing about her lips as she saw his jaw tighten.
He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed the local cab company, ordering his transportation. Then he said to her, "I"ll wait out front."
"Aren"t you afraid of what the neighbors will say?" Nora taunted him.
"Oh, I think they already know," he snapped back at her. "Even your friend Carla isn"t as dumb as you"ve been, Nora."
"I trusted you, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" Her anger rose up.
"Like I said, Nora, dumb," he told her, and then he walked out the door.
She stood in her foyer for the briefest moment, shaking. Then she shut the door firmly behind him. She hated him. She never wanted to see him again. How could she have fallen in love with him all those years ago? Dumb! Yes, d.a.m.nit, she had been dumb! But she wasn"t going to be dumb anymore. And if he thought he was going to get away with leaving her in poverty, he was sadly mistaken. What was it Ivana Trump had once said? "Don"t get mad. Get everything." Well, she didn"t want everything, but she wanted her house. And alimony until she could get on her feet. The house should be hers. But she wouldn"t take a penny more from Jeff than it took to get her started moving in a new direction. And the kids" schooling had to be paid for because she didn"t want them starting out burdened by debt. Especially Jill. Law school wasn"t cheap, but at least her daughter would be able to support herself if she turned out to be as dumb as her mother where men were concerned. Jeff couldn"t leave their children out in the cold. His children. What if the girlfriend had a child? Well, G.o.d help her if she did, Nora thought.
She needed The Channel tonight. She wanted to get away from all of this, and be the woman she really was. But J. J. would be home by midnight. Unless, she considered, she told him he could stay over at one of his buddies". She heard a car honk outside, and peering through one of the sidelights edging the front door, she saw her husband hurrying to get into a Ca.s.sandra"s cab. Schmuck, she thought, using one of Rina"s favorite terms. Nora turned to go into the den so she could call The Channel and escape from all this nasty reality.
"Nora!" The back door slammed shut.
d.a.m.n! She said the word silently. It was Carla.
"What happened?" Carla came into the hall. "I saw Jeff leaving."
"He"s asked for the divorce," Nora said sanguinely. "And he thought he"d just have his lawyer draw up the papers so I could sign them." Then she laughed. "You should have seen the look on his face when I said his lawyer should contact my lawyer."
"The b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" Carla exploded.
"No, it"s alright. I almost feel relieved now that it"s happened. I"ve been such a naive little fool all these years, Carla. With Jill going to law school and J. J. off to college, what would I do with myself? Join the Garden Club? The Egret Pointe Ladies" Reading Circle? I"m only just realizing how out of touch with reality I truly am."
"You are not out of touch with reality!" Carla responded loyally.
"Yes, I am," Nora answered quietly. "I"ve got a college degree, and yet I"ve spent the last quarter of a century looking after the needs of a selfish man, and two children. I have no idea how to operate a computer, or program the VCR. But I"m going to learn, Carla. And I"m going to survive on my own, and pay my own way. Not at first, but eventually. I"m glad to be rid of Jeff. I don"t really know him anymore, but what I do know, I don"t like."
"Oh, honey!" Carla put her arms about her friend and hugged her.
"Now if you"re convinced that I"m not going to kill myself, get out of here," Nora said, drawing away from the other woman. "I"m going to let my son stay over with his buddies tonight, and I"m going to get The Channel."
Carla giggled. "Yeah," she replied with a grin, "a good s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g always makes a girl feel a whole lot better. Have fun! Oh, Rick says come into the office on Monday at eleven a.m. so he can get started on protecting you in this mess. Night!" And she was gone with a wave of her hand.
Nora heard the door slam behind Carla as she left. She went into the kitchen and turned the lock. Then she went into the den and called the house where the party J. J. was attending was being held. It took a while, but finally someone picked up the telephone.
"If you"re bringing more beer, come on over!" the voice said.
She could hear the thumpa-thumpa of the music in the background. "It"s Mrs. Buckley. Find J. J. for me, Peter," she told him.
"Oh, gee, Mrs. B. just kidding," he replied.
Nora laughed. "Just don"t go driving, okay?" she said.
"I"ll get J. J.," Peter responded.
She waited, not surprised that Peter Mulligan"s parents weren"t there. They were a very liberal, let"s-be-friends-with-the-kids type. And being friends with your son meant few, if any, rules and regs. She began to have second thoughts about letting J. J. stay out.
"Ma? Is everything alright?" J. J. sounded anxious. He was really such a sweet kid.
"If I let you stay over with someone," Nora said, "who would it be?"
"I don"t have to come home tonight?" J. J."s voice was excited.
"Answer the question, J. J.," Nora said.
"The twins, Mike and Joe Carter, asked me," J. J. said.
"I"ll call the Carters and tell them if it"s okay with them, it"s okay with me," Nora told her son. The Carters were stricter than she was.
"Ma? Why?" His voice sounded so young, and he really wasn"t that young anymore. He was heading to college in a few weeks. "You sure everything is okay?"
"Everything is fine, J. J. But you"re eighteen now. It"s almost graduation, and I remember how I wanted to be with my friends then. I mean by summer"s end you"ll all be scattering, honey. So I decided it was time I was a little less uptight. If you don"t hear back from me, just go along with the twins. I"ll see you sometime tomorrow."
"Ma, you are the greatest!" he said, and hung up.
Nora chuckled. Ma was h.o.r.n.y. She reached for her school list to get the Carters" telephone number and, finding it, punched the number in, humming under her breath as she waited for someone to answer.
"h.e.l.lo?" It was Marian Carter.
"Marian, Nora Buckley. J. J. said the twins invited him to spend the night. Is that alright with you?"
"Of course it is, and they have a twelve thirty a.m. curfew," Marian Carter said. "I hope you don"t think that"s too late, but it"s such a special time for them."
"No, no, twelve thirty is perfect. Thank you so much for having J. J.," Nora responded.
"He"s such a nice boy," came the reply. "Did you know that Mike will be at State with J. J.? He doesn"t have a soccer scholarship, but he"s going to try for the team. Joe decided to join the marines. He says he can make a good career with the marines."
"And if he decides not to," Nora said cheerfully, "he"ll probably get college money out of it. Marian, thanks for having J. J. Send him home when he gets to be a pest tomorrow."
"Any time, Nora." And Marian Carter hung up.
Nora set her phone back in its cradle. She went to her front door, locked it, and threw the extra bolt. Returning to the den, she poured herself a gla.s.s of wine and sat down. Had she really had a s.e.xual adventure with two men on Monday night? Or had it just been a dream? Well, she considered with a little grin, the only way to find out was to call the cable company and ask for The Channel again. She picked up the phone again.
"Thank you for calling Suburban Cable," the automated message came on.
Nora waited patiently.
"Suburban Cable. This is Francie. How may I help you?"
"I"d like to order The Channel," Nora answered calmly, and gave the requested information.
"Just go to channel sixty-nine, Mrs. Buckley. The Channel"s already operational this evening," Francie told her. "Anything else we can do for you tonight?"
"No, thanks," Nora replied, and hung up. She put the phone back, and sat back in her recliner for a long few minutes. Then she took a gulp of wine. She got up and turned off the lights in the room. She took another gulp of wine as she sat down again. Then, drawing a deep breath, Nora pressed the ON b.u.t.ton on the channel changer, punched in sixty-nine, and waited anxiously as the darkened screen began to grow light, and her dream apartment came into view. "Kyle?" Her voice sounded jittery in her ears. Oh, let it all be as good as it was last time. Especially the s.e.x. She wondered if she would take up where she had left off the last evening, with one c.o.c.k in her c.u.n.t and another in her mouth. Where was Kyle? She was beginning to get nervous, and then she heard his voice.
"You don"t need my hand, darling. You just need to put your own hand on the screen. You left in a hurry Monday night. I lost track of the time. Sorry."
Nora put her hand on the screen, felt the pop, and was back in the apartment. Before she could turn, his arms were about her waist, one hand sliding between the folds on her satin shorty robe to cup a full and firm breast. Nora sighed with utter pleasure. "I didn"t mean to go," she said. She could feel the sticky wetness already beginning.
"I forgot to tell you that The Channel closes down between four and four thirty a.m.," he said, his tone apologetic.
"Does anyone have a watch around here?" Nora said. "The last thing I remember was Rolfie coming like a raging river, and you blowing off down my throat. The next thing I knew, I was back in my recliner." She turned about so she could see his handsome face. "We can"t have that happen again, Kyle, can we?"
"Just pick up the phone," he told her, pointing to the elegant little portable on the living room table, "and press one. Tell them you want a wake-up call at four a.m. They"ll just ring through, and that will let us know we have a few minutes to finish up our business," he said with a grin. "I didn"t get my turn," Kyle murmured, kissing her ear.
"You had more than your turn last time," she chuckled.
"But Rolf got last licks," he pouted.
"No, I got last licks," she teased him, reaching down to fondle his p.e.n.i.s. Then she turned away, pulling out of his embrace, and, picking up the phone, pushed number one.
"Concierge," a crisp voice answered.
"I want a wake-up call for four a.m.," Nora said.
"Very good, Mrs. Buckley," the crisp voice replied, ringing off.
"How did she know my name?" Nora wondered aloud.
"You"re in the penthouse," Kyle responded logically.
"Oh." Was she going mad? Well, who cared!
"You didn"t eat at the awards dinner," Kyle said. "I fixed you something."
"How do you know that?" She set the phone back in its cradle.
"It"s my job to know everything about you and to fulfill your fantasy, Red Rover," he told her.
"I think I like that, even if it is a little creepy," Nora said. "What have you prepared for me, my handsome slave?" She caressed his face, and catching her hand in his, he kissed her palm, then licked at it, before releasing it again.