"Miss Benette, you must not be shocked at what I shall now say, because I mean it with all reverence. I could no more call in question the decision of such genius than I could that of Providence if it sent me death-sickness or took away my friends. I am certain that the motive, which you cannot make clear just yet, is that you would approve of."
"And you also, sir?"
"And I also, though it is as dark to me as to you. Let it stand over, then; but for all our sakes do not thwart him,--he has suffered too much to be thwarted."
"Has he suffered? I did not know that."
"Can such a one live and not suffer? A nature which is all love,--an imagination all music?"
"I thought that he looked delicate, but very happy,--happy as a child or an angel. I have seen your smile turn bitter, sir,--pardon,--but never his. I am sure, if it matters to him that I should accede, I will do so, and I cannot thank you enough for telling me."
"Miss Benette, if you are destined to do anything great for music, it may be in one way as well as in another; that is, if you befriend the greatest musician, it is as much as if you befriended music. Now you cannot but befriend him if you do exactly as he requests you."
"In all instances, you recommend?"
"_I_, at least, could refuse him nothing. The nourishment such a spirit requires is not just the same as our own, perhaps, but it must not the less be supplied. If I could, now, clean his boots better than any one else, or if he liked my cookery, I would give up what I am about and take a place in his service."
"What! you would give up your violin, your career, your place among the choir of ages?"
"I would; for in rendering a single hour of his existence on earth unfretted,--in preserving to him one day of ease and comfort,--I should be doing more for all people, all time, at least for the ideal, who will be few in every age, but many in all the ages, and who I believe leaven society better than a priesthood. I would not say so except to a person who perfectly understands me; for as I hold laws to be necessary, I would infringe no social or religious _regime_ by one heterodox utterance to the ear of the uninitiated: still, having said it, I keep to my text, that you must do exactly as he pleases. He has not set a seal upon your throat at present, if you have been singing all the morning."
"I have been singing from his new great work. There is a contralto solo, "Art Thou not from Everlasting?" which spoiled my voice; I could not keep the tears down, it was so beautiful and entreating. He was a little angry at me; at least he said, "You must not do that." There is also a very long piece which I scarcely tried, we had been so long over the other, which he made me sing again and again until I composed myself. What a mercy Mr. Davy taught us to read so fast! I have found it help me ever since. Do you mean to go to this oratorio?"
"I am to go with Miss Lawrence. How n.o.ble, how glorious she is!"
"Your eyes sparkle when you speak of her. I knew you would there find a friend."
"I hope you, too, will hear it, Miss Benette. I shall speak to the Chevalier about it."
"I pray you not to do so; there will not be any reason, for I find out all about those affairs. Take care of yourself, Mr. Auchester, or rather make Miss Lawrence take care of you; she will like to have to do so."
"I must go home, if it is not to be just yet, and return on purpose for the day."
"But that will fatigue you very much,--cannot you prevent it? One ought to be quiet before a great excitement."
"Oh! you have found that. I cannot be quiet until afterwards."
"I have never had a great excitement," said Clara, innocently; "and I hope I never may. It suits me to be still."
"May that calm remain in you and for you with which you never fail to heal the soul within your power, Miss Benette!"
"I should indeed be proud, Mr. Auchester, to keep you quiet; but that you will never be until it is forever."
"In that sense no one could, for who could ever desire to awaken from that rest? And from all rest here it is but to awaken."
I felt I ought to go, or that I might even remain too long. It was harder at that moment to leave her than it had ever been before; but I had a prescience that for that very reason it was better to depart.
Starwood had returned, I found, and was waiting about in the evening, before the candles came.
We both watched the golden shade that bound the sunset to its crimson glow, and then the violet dark, as it melted downwards to embrace the earth. We were both silent, Starwood from habit (I have never seen such power of abstraction), I by choice. An agitated knock came suddenly, about nine, and into the room bounced the big dog, tearing the carpet up with his capers. Seraphael followed, silent at first as we; he stole after us to the window, and looked softly forth. I could tell even in the uncertain silver darkness of that thinnest sh.e.l.l of a moon that his face was alight with happiness, an ineffable gentleness,--not the dread alien air of heaven, soothing the pa.s.sion of his countenance. He laid for long his tiny hand upon my shoulder, his arm crept round my neck, and drawing closer still, he sighed rather than said, after a thrilling pause,--
"Carlomein, wilt thou come into my room? I have a secret for thee; it will not take long to tell."
"The longer the better, sir."
We went out through the dark drawing-room, we came to his writing-chamber; here the white sheets shone like ghosts in the bluish blackness, for we were behind the sunset.
"We will have no candles, because we shall return so soon. And I love secrets told in the dark, or between the dark and light. I have prevented that child from taking her own way. It was very naughty, and I want to be shriven. Shrive me, Charles."
"In all good part, sir, instantly."
"I have been quarrelling with the manager. He was very angry, and his whiskers stood out like the bristles of a cat; for I had s.n.a.t.c.hed the mouse from under his paw, you see."
"The mouse must have been glad enough to get away, sir. And you have drawn a line through her engagement? She has told me something of it, and we are grateful."
"I have cancelled her engagement! Well, this one,--but I am going to give her another. She does not know it, but she will sing for me at another time. Art thou angry, Carl? Thou art rather a dread confessor."
"I could not do anything but rejoice, sir. How little she expects to bear such a part! She is alone fitted for it; an angel, if he came into her heart, could not find one stain upon his habitation."
"The reason you take home to you, then, Carlomein?"
"Sir, I imagine that you consider her wanting in dramatic power; or that as a dramatic songstress under the present dispensation she would but disappoint herself, and perhaps ourselves; or that she is too delicately organized,--which is no new notion to me."
"All of these reasons, and yet not one,--not even because, Carlomein, in all my efforts I have not written directly for the stage, nor because a lingering recollection ever forbids profane endeavor. There is yet a reason, obvious to myself, but which I can scarcely make clear to you. Though I would have you know, and learn as truth, that there is nothing I take from this child I will not restore to her again, nor shall she have the lesson to be taught to feel that in heaven alone is happiness."
He made a long, long pause. I was in no mood to reply, and it was not until I was ashamed of my own silence that I spoke; then my own accents startled me. I told Seraphael I must return on the morrow to my own place if I were to enjoy at length what Miss Lawrence had set before me. He replied that I must come back to him when I came, and that he would write to me meantime.
"If I can, Carlomein; but I cannot always write even, my child, to thee. There is one thing more between us,--a little end of business."
He lit with a waxen match a waxen taper, which was coiled into a brazen cup; he brought it from the mantelshelf to the table; he took a slip of paper and a pen. The tiny flame threw out his hand, of a brilliant ivory, while his head remained in flickering shadow,--I could trace a shadow smile.
"Now, Carlomein, this brother of yours. His name is David, I think?"
"Lenhart Davy, sir."
"Has he many musical friends?"
"Only his wife particularly so,--the cla.s.s are all neophytes."
"Well, he can do as he pleases. Here is an order."
He held out the paper in a regal att.i.tude, and in the other hand brought near the tremulous taper, that I so might read. It was,--
ABBEY CHOIR, WESTMINSTER.
Admit Mr. Lenhart Davy and party 21st June.
SERAPHAEL.
I could say nothing, nor even essay to thank him,--indeed he would not permit it, as I could perceive. We returned directly to the drawing-room, and roused Starwood from a blue study, as the Chevalier expressed it.