"I do so wish I were now in Cambridge (a very selfish wish, however, as I was not with you in all your troubles and misery), to join in all the glory and happiness, which dangers gone by can give. How we would talk, walk, and entomologise! Sappho should be the best of b.i.t.c.hes, and Dash, of dogs; then should be "peace on earth, good will to men,"--which, by the way, I always think the most perfect description of happiness that words can give."
Later on in the Lent term he writes to Fox:--
"I am leading a quiet everyday sort of a life; a little of Gibbon"s History in the morning, and a good deal of _Van John_ in the evening; this, with an occasional ride with Simc.o.x and const.i.tutional with Whitley, makes up the regular routine of my days. I see a good deal both of Herbert and Whitley, and the more I see of them increases every day the respect I have for their excellent understandings and dispositions.
They have been giving some very gay parties, nearly sixty men there both evenings."
_C. D. to W. D. Fox._ Christ"s College, April 1 [1829].
MY DEAR FOX--In your letter to Holden you are pleased to observe "that of all the blackguards you ever met with I am the greatest." Upon this observation I shall make no remarks, excepting that I must give you all due credit for acting on it most rigidly. And now I should like to know in what one particular are you less of a blackguard than I am? You idle old wretch, why have you not answered my last letter, which I am sure I forwarded to Clifton nearly three weeks ago? If I was not really very anxious to hear what you are doing, I should have allowed you to remain till you thought it worth while to treat me like a gentleman. And now having vented my spleen in scolding you, and having told you, what you must know, how very much and how anxiously I want to hear how you and your family are getting on at Clifton, the purport of this letter is finished. If you did but know how often I think of you, and how often I regret your absence, I am sure I should have heard from you long enough ago.
I find Cambridge rather stupid, and as I know scarcely any one that walks, and this joined with my lips not being quite so well, has reduced me to a sort of hybernation.... I have caught Mr. Harbour[80] letting ---- have the first pick of the beetles; accordingly we have made our final adieus, my part in the affecting scene consisted in telling him he was a d----d rascal, and signifying I should kick him down the stairs if ever he appeared in my rooms again. It seemed altogether mightily to surprise the young gentleman. I have no news to tell you; indeed, when a correspondence has been broken off like ours has been, it is difficult to make the first start again. Last night there was a terrible fire at Linton, eleven miles from Cambridge. Seeing the reflection so plainly in the sky, Hall, Woodyeare, Turner, and myself thought we would ride and see it. We set out at half-past nine, and rode like incarnate devils there, and did not return till two in the morning. Altogether it was a most awful sight. I cannot conclude without telling you, that of all the blackguards I ever met with, you are the greatest and the best.
In July 1829 he had written to Fox:--
"I must read for my Little-go. Graham smiled and bowed so very civilly, when he told me that he was one of the six appointed to make the examination stricter, and that they were determined this would make it a very different thing from any previous examination, that from all this I am sure it will be the very devil to pay amongst all idle men and entomologists."
But things were not so bad as he feared, and in March 1830, he could write to the same correspondent:--
"I am through my Little-go!!! I am too much exalted to humble myself by apologising for not having written before. But I a.s.sure you before I went in, and when my nerves were in a shattered and weak condition, your injured person often rose before my eyes and taunted me with my idleness. But I am through, through, through. I could write the whole sheet full with this delightful word. I went in yesterday, and have just heard the joyful news. I shall not know for a week which cla.s.s I am in. The whole examination is carried on in a different system. It has one grand advantage--being over in one day. They are rather strict, and ask a wonderful number of questions.
And now I want to know something about your plans; of course you intend coming up here: what fun we will have together; what beetles we will catch; it will do my heart good to go once more together to some of our old haunts. I have two very promising pupils in Entomology, and we will make regular campaigns into the Fens. Heaven protect the beetles and Mr.
Jenyns, for we won"t leave him a pair in the whole country. My new Cabinet is come down, and a gay little affair it is."
In August he was diligently amusing himself in North Wales, finding no time to write to Fox, because:--
"This is literally the first idle day I have had to myself; for on the rainy days I go fishing, on the good ones entomologising."
November found him preparing for his degree, of which process he writes dolefully:--
"I have so little time at present, and am so disgusted by reading, that I have not the heart to write to anybody. I have only written once home since I came up. This must excuse me for not having answered your three letters, for which I am really very much obliged....
"I have not stuck an insect this term, and scarcely opened a case. If I had time I would have sent you the insects which I have so long promised; but really I have not spirits or time to do anything. Reading makes me quite desperate; the plague of getting up all my subjects is next thing to intolerable, Henslow is my tutor, and a most _admirable_ one he makes; the hour with him is the pleasantest in the whole day. I think he is quite the most perfect man I ever met with. I have been to some very pleasant parties there this term. His good-nature is unbounded."
The new year brought relief, and on January 23, 1831, he wrote to tell Fox that he was through his examination.
"I do not know why the degree should make one so miserable, both before and afterwards. I recollect you were sufficiently wretched before, and I can a.s.sure [you], I am now; and what makes it the more ridiculous is, I know not what about. I believe it is a beautiful provision of nature to make one regret the less leaving so pleasant a place as Cambridge; and amongst all its pleasures--I say it for once and for all--none so great as my friendship with you. I sent you a newspaper yesterday, in which you will see what a good place--tenth--I have got in the Poll. As for Christ"s, did you ever see such a college for producing Captains and Apostles?[81] There are no men either at Emmanuel or Christ"s plucked.
Cameron is gulfed,[82] together with other three Trinity scholars! My plans are not at all settled. I think I shall keep this term, and then go and economise at Shrewsbury, return and take my degree.
"A man may be excused for writing so much about himself when he has just pa.s.sed the examination; so you must excuse [me]. And on the same principle do you write a letter brimful of yourself and plans."
THE APPOINTMENT TO THE "BEAGLE."
In a letter addressed to Captain Fitz-Roy, before the _Beagle_ sailed, my father wrote, "What a glorious day the 4th of November[83] will be to me--my second life will then commence, and it shall be as a birthday for the rest of my life."
Foremost in the chain of circ.u.mstances which led to his appointment to the _Beagle_, was his friendship with Professor Henslow, of which the autobiography gives a sufficient account.[84]
An extract from a pocket-book, in which Darwin briefly recorded the chief events of his life, gives the history of his introduction to that science which was so soon to be his chief occupation--geology.
"1831. _Christmas._--Pa.s.sed my examination for B.A. degree and kept the two following terms. During these months lived much with Professor Henslow, often dining with him and walking with him; became slightly acquainted with several of the learned men in Cambridge, which much quickened the zeal which dinner parties and hunting had not destroyed.
In the spring Henslow persuaded me to think of Geology, and introduced me to Sedgwick. During Midsummer geologized a little in Shropshire."
This geological work was doubtless of importance as giving him some practical experience, and perhaps of more importance in helping to give him some confidence in himself. In July of the same year, 1831, he was "working like a tiger" at Geology, and trying to make a map of Shropshire, but not finding it "as easy as I expected."
In writing to Henslow about the same time, he gives some account of his work:--
"I have been working at so many things that I have not got on much with geology. I suspect the first expedition I take, clinometer and hammer in hand, will send me back very little wiser and a good deal more puzzled than when I started. As yet I have only indulged in hypotheses, but they are such powerful ones that I suppose, if they were put into action but for one day, the world would come to an end."
He was evidently most keen to get to work with Sedgwick, who had promised to take him on a geological tour in North Wales, for he wrote to Henslow: "I have not heard from Professor Sedgwick, so I am afraid he will not pay the Severn formations a visit. I hope and trust you did your best to urge him."
My father has given in his _Recollections_ some account of this Tour; there too we read of the projected excursion to the Canaries.
In April 1831, he writes to Fox: "At present I talk, think, and dream of a scheme I have almost hatched of going to the Canary Islands. I have long had a wish of seeing tropical scenery and vegetation, and, according to Humboldt, Teneriffe is a very pretty specimen." And again in May: "As for my Canary scheme, it is rash of you to ask questions; my other friends most sincerely wish me there, I plague them so with talking about tropical scenery, &c. Eyton will go next summer, and I am learning Spanish."
Later on in the summer the scheme took more definite form, and the date seems to have been fixed for June 1832. He got information in London about pa.s.sage-money, and in July was working at Spanish and calling Fox "un grandsimo lebron," in proof of his knowledge of the language. But even then he seems to have had some doubts about his companions" zeal, for he writes to Henslow (July 27, 1831): "I hope you continue to fan your Canary ardour. I read and re-read Humboldt;[85] do you do the same.
I am sure nothing will prevent us seeing the Great Dragon Tree."
Geological work and Teneriffe dreams carried him through the summer, till on returning from Barmouth for the sacred 1st of September, he received the offer of appointment as Naturalist to the _Beagle_.
The following extract from the pocket-book will be a help in reading the letters:--
"Returned to Shrewsbury at end of August. Refused offer of voyage.
"_September._--Went to Maer, returned with Uncle Jos. to Shrewsbury, thence to Cambridge. London.
"_11th._--Went with Captain Fitz-Roy in steamer to Plymouth to see the _Beagle_.
"_22nd._--Returned to Shrewsbury, pa.s.sing through Cambridge.
"_October 2nd._--Took leave of my home. Stayed in London.
"_24th._--Reached Plymouth.
"_October and November._--These months very miserable.
"_December 10th._--Sailed, but were obliged to put back.
"_21st._--Put to sea again, and were driven back.
"_27th._--Sailed from England on our Circ.u.mnavigation."
_George Peac.o.c.k[86] to J. S. Henslow_ [1831].
MY DEAR HENSLOW--Captain Fitz-Roy is going out to survey the southern coast of Tierra del Fuego, and afterwards to visit many of the South Sea Islands, and to return by the Indian Archipelago. The vessel is fitted out expressly for scientific purposes, combined with the survey; it will furnish, therefore, a rare opportunity for a naturalist, and it would be a great misfortune that it should be lost.
An offer has been made to me to recommend a proper person to go out as a naturalist with this expedition; he will be treated with every consideration. The Captain is a young man of very pleasing manners (a nephew of the Duke of Grafton), of great zeal in his profession, and who is very highly spoken of; if Leonard Jenyns could go, what treasures he might bring home with him, as the ship would be placed at his disposal whenever his inquiries made it necessary or desirable. In the absence of so accomplished a naturalist, is there any person whom you could strongly recommend? he must be such a person as would do credit to our recommendation. Do think of this subject; it would be a serious loss to the cause of natural science if this fine opportunity was lost.