Jason checked a couple points on Lottatna"s face now that the bottle wasn"t in the way.Resetarits cleaned up the kitchen and found something for himself to eat as he watched Jason remain kneeling next to Lottatna"s shoulder as he worked.
When that was done, many, many emotions came up. All of them lead to horrendous things she had experienced in her life. Things Resetarits had never heard of happening, nor fathoming that someone could disrespect another so much to put them through such horrible things. The smell that accompanied these emotions was worse than her strongest death smell had been. He couldn"t stop from crying either. The smell nauseated him, but he felt as if her body were dead despite her moving and the strength of life coming from their offspring.
Jason supported her through two more emotions before Lottatna"s mating tail rested on top of her legs. The tip turned towards Resetarits then rested back on her leg a couple times before he dare approach. The closer he got, the more horrible the smell became. He stood by her mating tail and lightly touched it. A burst of pheromones pushed out of her entire being, sweeping away the nauseating stench. Her tail stopped moving and he caressed it.
"Selfish. Here and now," Jason said.
"Part of me feels like I"ve used Resetarits; mating him because it would prevent me from being lonely instead of mating because I care for him."
"I could say the same about myself, Lottatna," he said, stopping and looking up at her. "Perhaps that was why my touch changed you… and Licus."
His head lowered and he turned away.
"Resetarits," Lottatna said.
He didn"t respond, but sat with his back to them on the beanbag. He tried to take a steadying breath. Even after these few months together he wished that Lottatna hadn"t had to change; while hoping that she would never desert him.
Lottatna"s body wrapped around Resetarits". All of her tails weaving into his few while her arms held him securely. "I appreciate you, Res," she said. "Thank you for helping me release the rest of my wish to stop living."
He gripped her arms, feeling like she really was going to leave him.
Her ungloved hand rubbed his arm and she kissed his neck. Her head turned, but her hold didn"t change.
"Good luck, Lottatna," Jason said.
"Same for you, Jason, Let me know what day works best so I can come up and work on you."
"I"ll come down here for it. You shouldn"t be treking with six little ones."
"Okay. Thank you for everything."
"I"m just grateful your mate helped aggravate all those memories so we could get all of it instead of leaving some of it unaddressed and having things get harder."
"Yes. Travel safely."
"Always. See you later."
"Later."
Jason locked the door handle as he left. He waved to Resetarits and he nodded once before the door closed.
Lottatna rested her chin on his shoulder. Each breath she took was deep and her energy very still compared to the turmoil it had been all day or the complete absence it have been for the last eleven weeks. She held him, not speaking. Her only movement was the steady rise and fall of her chest. It pressed her pouch against his low back. Resetarits closed his eyes, not daring to ask the question he felt he had to.
"You"re leaving me, aren"t you?"
"No, I"m not. I still need my best friend around; I still need a father for our children; and I need to be here to support my friend as he has supported me."
His grip on her sleeve and all of her tails tightened.
"I know what I have right here; I don"t want to leave and hope I can find it again."
Resetarits cried and Lottatna held him tighter. He tipped his head to rest against hers.
"I love you, Res."
"And I you, Lottatna."
She kissed his neck then continued to hold him for a while. "What do you say to taking our offspring for a walk?" she asked.
"I"d like that very much," he replied.
"Okay." She patted his arm and let him go.
They stood and he kissed her deeply and embraced her.
"Thank you, Lottatna."
"I did not mate you, or become your friend, just to use you, Resetarits. I"m here for you as much as you are for me."
He nodded.
They released their embrace and kissed before they put on shoes and went for a walk.
Despite the release Jason did, Lottatna retired early and slept late. Did the balance not take? Resetarits was about to check on her when she stretched and rolled over onto all fours.
"How do you feel, Lottatna?" he asked.
"A little tired, Resetarits, but well. Very well."
"Good."
He kissed her lightly before leaving her to eat while he put a picnic lunch together. He figured Lottatna would want to spend some time outside since she had missed watching a lot of the sunrises and sunsets.
"What time is your first appointment?" Resetarits asked as Lottatna dressed.
"Ten."
"Then we should leave soon."
"We need to spray the parts our clothes don"t cover," she said.
"I already have."
"Okay."
Lottatna sprayed her head, neck, and feet. Then she slipped on her shoes before meeting him by the door. The smell of death had dissipated with Lottatna"s balance. He hoped it stayed that way. Resetarits gave her abdomen a light rubbing as she hung her note back on her door. Then he sat in the far chair while she prepared her office s.p.a.ce. Once her table was ready, Lottatna sat at her desk and just sat still. They sat in silence until just after ten when we heard her first client arrive.
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"Nice one, Lottatna," he laughed. His laughing stopped when he stepped into the office and saw her. "That"s a mask, right?"
"No, Dean. It"s not. This," she said revealing her old face. "is the mask."
He backed up into the door, eyes wide.
Resetartis shifted only slightly and Dean turned to him, his eyes bulging even more.
"Whether you stay or leave is your choice, Dean," Lottatna said, getting his attention again. "So far the change I have experienced has not affected other clients. I have done hands on with almost all of them.
"I… This is too weird!" he said.
"I know. I"m sorry. You know how to reach me if you decide to come back, or would like a referral to another pract.i.tioner."
Dean stayed for a moment longer before fleeing the office.
Lottatna rested her elbows on her desk and covered her mouth with one hand. Death"s smell stirred the air. It was light, but enough of a change that Resetarits put her sign out and closed the door. Lightly he gripped Lottatna"s arm and tugged on it to get her to stand. She sniffled then stood. He held her against him and she wrapped her arms around him.
"Do you still want to walk this road with me?" he asked gently.
Her hold tightened. "I have no other road to walk," she whispered fiercely.
"Then what can I do to help you?"
"I don"t know."
"Do you want to rest? Be held?"
Lottatna shook her head.
"Do you need me to leave you alone for a while?"
Again she shook her head.
He took a deeper breath and her grip only loosened slightly.
"Do you need to take more of the Shooting Star?"
"I can see."
"Okay."
Lottatna slowly let go then went to her flower essences. She took the shooting star and the death smell nearly disappeared again. She kept the bottle in her hand a moment longer.
"Are all the women on Chrdtlsy moody when they are pregnant?" she asked.
"Sometimes worse than you"ve been," he replied.
"Goodie," she said sarcastically.
She put the flower essence away then climbed onto her table and lay on her back.
"I wish this didn"t have to feel so hard."
"If I could take it all back I would."
"No. It would have only been a matter of time before this happened." She emptied her lungs completely of air before taking in a deeper breath. Her nose twitched with a sharp scent from Resetarits.