Esther wore a neat black mantle, and looked taller and more womanly than usual in a pretty bonnet and a spotted veil. There was a flush of color in her cheeks, her eyes sparkled. She had walked in cold sunny weather from the British Museum (where she was still supposed to be), and the wind had blown loose a little wisp of hair over the small sh.e.l.l-like ear. In her left hand she held a roll of ma.n.u.script. It contained her criticisms of the May Exhibitions. Whereby hung a tale.
In the dark days that followed the scene with Levi, Esther"s resolution had gradually formed. The position had become untenable. She could no longer remain a _Schnorrer_; abusing the bounty of her benefactors into the bargain. She must leave the Goldsmiths, and at once. That was imperative; the second step could be thought over when she had taken the first. And yet she postponed taking the first. Once she drifted out of her present sphere, she could not answer for the future, could not be certain, for instance, that she would be able to redeem her promise to Raphael to sit in judgment upon the Academy and other picture galleries that bloomed in May. At any rate, once she had severed connection with the Goldsmith circle, she would not care to renew it, even in the case of Raphael. No, it was best to get this last duty off her shoulders, then to say farewell to him and all the other human const.i.tuents of her brief period of partial sunshine. Besides, the personal delivery of the precious ma.n.u.script would afford her the opportunity of this farewell to him. With his social remissness, it was unlikely he would call soon upon the Goldsmiths, and she now restricted her friendship with Addie to receiving Addie"s visits, so as to prepare for its dissolution. Addie amused her by reading extracts from Sidney"s letters, for the brilliant young artist had suddenly gone off to Norway the morning after the _debut_ of the new Hamlet. Esther felt that it might be as well if she stayed on to see how the drama of these two lives developed. These things she told herself in the reaction from the first impulse of instant flight.
Raphael put down his pipe at the sight of her and a frank smile of welcome shone upon his flushed face.
"This is so kind of you!" he said; "who would have thought of seeing you here? I am so glad. I hope you are well. You look better." He was wringing her little gloved hand violently as he spoke.
"I feel better, too, thank you. The air is so exhilarating. I"m glad to see you"re still in the land of the living. Addie has told me of your debauches of work."
"Addie is foolish. I never felt better. Come inside. Don"t be afraid of walking on the papers. They"re all old."
"I always heard literary people were untidy," said Esther smiling.
"_You_ must be a regular genius."
"Well, you see we don"t have many ladies coming here," said Raphael deprecatingly, "though we have plenty of old women."
"It"s evident you don"t. Else some of them would go down on their hands and knees and never get up till this litter was tidied up a bit."
"Never mind that now, Miss Ansell. Sit down, won"t you? You must be tired. Take the editorial chair. Allow me a minute." He removed some books from it.
"Is that the way you sit on the books sent in for review?" She sat down.
"Dear me! It"s quite comfortable. You men like comfort, even the most self-sacrificing. But where is your fighting-editor? It would be awkward if an aggrieved reader came in and mistook me for the editor, wouldn"t it? It isn"t safe for me to remain in this chair."
"Oh, yes it is! We"ve tackled our aggrieved readers for to-day," he a.s.sured her.
She looked curiously round. "Please pick up your pipe. It"s going out. I don"t mind smoke, indeed I don"t. Even if I did, I should be prepared to pay the penalty of bearding an editor in his den."
Raphael resumed his pipe gratefully.
"I wonder though you don"t set the place on fire," Esther rattled on, "with all this ma.s.s of inflammable matter about."
"It is very dry, most of it," he admitted, with a smile.
"Why don"t you have a real fire? It must be quite cold sitting here all day. What"s that great ugly picture over there?"
"That steamer! It"s an advertis.e.m.e.nt."
"Heavens! What a decoration. I should like to have the criticism of that picture. I"ve brought you those picture-galleries, you know; that"s what I"ve come for."
"Thank you! That"s very good of you. I"ll send it to the printers at once." He took the roll and placed it in a pigeon-hole, without taking his eyes off her face.
"Why don"t you throw that awful staring thing away?" she asked, contemplating the steamer with a morbid fascination, "and sweep away the old papers, and have a few little water-colors hung up and put a vase of flowers on your desk. I wish I had the control of the office for a week."
"I wish you had," he said gallantly. "I can"t find time to think of those things. I am sure you are brightening it up already."
The little blush on her cheek deepened. Compliment was unwonted with him; and indeed, he spoke as he felt. The sight of her seated so strangely and unexpectedly in his own humdrum sanctum; the imaginary picture of her beautifying it and evolving harmony out of the chaos with artistic touches of her dainty hands, filled him with pleasant, tender thoughts, such as he had scarce known before. The commonplace editorial chair seemed to have undergone consecration and poetic transformation.
Surely the sunshine that streamed through the dusty window would for ever rest on it henceforwards. And yet the whole thing appeared fantastic and unreal.
"I hope you are speaking the truth," replied Esther with a little laugh.
"You need brightening, you old dry-as-dust philanthropist, sitting poring over stupid ma.n.u.scripts when you ought to be in the country enjoying the sunshine." She spoke in airy accents, with an undercurrent of astonishment at her attack of high spirits on an occasion she had designed to be harrowing.
"Why, I haven"t _looked_ at your ma.n.u.script yet," he retorted gaily, but as he spoke there flashed upon him a delectable vision of blue sea and waving pines with one fair wood-nymph flitting through the trees, luring him on from this musty cell of never-ending work to unknown ecstasies of youth and joyousness. The leafy avenues were bathed in sacred sunlight, and a low magic music thrilled through the quiet air. It was but the dream of a second--the dingy walls closed round him again, the great ugly steamer, that never went anywhere, sailed on. But the wood-nymph did not vanish; the sunbeam was still on the editorial chair, lighting up the little face with a celestial halo. And when she spoke again, it was as if the music that filled the visionary glades was a reality, too.
"It"s all very well your treating reproof as a jest," she said, more gravely. "Can"t you see that it"s false economy to risk a break-down even if you use yourself purely for others? You"re looking far from well. You are overtaxing human strength. Come now, admit my sermon is just. Remember I speak not as a Pharisee, but as one who made the mistake herself--a fellow-sinner." She turned her dark eyes reproachfully upon him.
"I--I--don"t sleep very well," he admitted, "but otherwise I a.s.sure you I feel all right."
It was the second time she had manifested concern for his health. The blood coursed deliciously in his veins; a thrill ran through his whole form. The gentle anxious face seemed to grow angelic. Could she really care if his health gave way? Again he felt a rash of self-pity that filled his eyes with tears. He was grateful to her for sharing his sense of the empty cheerlessness of his existence. He wondered why it had seemed so full and cheery just before.
"And you used to sleep so well," said Esther, slily, remembering Addie"s domestic revelations. "My stupid ma.n.u.script should come in useful."
"Oh, forgive my stupid joke!" he said remorsefully.
"Forgive mine!" she answered. "Sleeplessness is too terrible to joke about. Again I speak as one who knows."
"Oh, I"m sorry to hear that!" he said, his egoistic tenderness instantly transformed to compa.s.sionate solicitude.
"Never mind me; I am a woman and can take care of myself. Why don"t you go over to Norway and join Mr. Graham?"
"That"s quite out of the question," he said, puffing furiously at his pipe. "I can"t leave the paper."
"Oh, men always say that. Haven"t you let your pipe go out? I don"t see any smoke."
He started and laughed. "Yes, there"s no more tobacco in it." He laid it down.
"No, I insist on your going on or else I shall feel uncomfortable.
Where"s your pouch?"
He felt all over his pockets. "It must be on the table."
She rummaged among the ma.s.s of papers. "Ha! There are your scissors""
she said scornfully, turning them up. She found the pouch in time and handed it to him. "I ought to have the management of this office for a day," she remarked again.
"Well, fill my pipe for me," he said, with an audacious inspiration. He felt an unreasoning impulse to touch her hand, to smooth her soft cheek with his fingers and press her eyelids down over her dancing eyes. She filled the pipe, full measure and running over; he took it by the stem, her warm gloved fingers grazing his chilly bare hand and suffusing him with a delicious thrill.
"Now you must crown your work," he said. "The matches are somewhere about."
She hunted again, interpolating exclamations of reproof at the risk of fire.
"They"re safety matches, I think," he said. They proved to be wax vestas. She gave him a liquid glance of mute reproach that filled him with bliss as overbr.i.m.m.i.n.gly as his pipe had been filled with bird"s eye; then she struck a match, protecting the flame scientifically in the hollow of her little hand. Raphael had never imagined a wax vesta could be struck so charmingly. She tip-toed to reach the bowl in his mouth, but he bent his tall form and felt her breath upon his face. The volumes of smoke curled up triumphantly, and Esther"s serious countenance relaxed in a smile of satisfaction. She resumed the conversation where it had been broken off by the idyllic interlude of the pipe.
"But if you can"t leave London, there"s plenty of recreation to be had in town. I"ll wager you haven"t yet been to see _Hamlet_ in lieu of the night you disappointed us."
"Disappointed myself, you mean," he said with a retrospective consciousness of folly. "No, to tell the truth, I haven"t been out at all lately. Life is so short."
"Then, why waste it?"
"Oh come, I can"t admit I waste it," he said, with a gentle smile that filled her with a penetrating emotion. "You mustn"t take such material views of life." Almost in a whisper he quoted: "To him that hath the kingdom of G.o.d all things shall be added," and went on: "Socialism is at least as important as Shakspeare."