A greater distrust of myself, and a greater sense of my inability to a.s.sure my boy of the truth contained in the simple little prayers that I had learned from my mother in childhood, gradually caused me to reflect. Still, I never went to church; had not even a Bible in the house. What was I to teach my boy,--Christ and him crucified, or the doctrines I had tried to believe?
One of his little friends died, then another, then his uncle. All these deaths made an impression on the boy. He rebelled against it; wanted to know "why G.o.d had done it?" It was hard that G.o.d should take away his friends; he wished he would not do it. I, of course, had to explain the best I could. One evening he was lying on the bed partly undressed; my wife and I were seated by the fire. She had been telling me that Willie had not been a good boy that day, and I had reproved him for it. All was quiet, when suddenly he broke out in a loud crying and sobbing, which surprised us. I went to him, and asked him what was the matter.
"I don"t want it there, father; I don"t want it there," said the child.
"What, my child, what is it?"
"Why, father, I don"t want the angels to write down in G.o.d"s book all the bad things I have done to-day. I don"t want it there; I wish it could be wiped out;" and his distress increased. What could I do? I did not believe, but yet I had been taught the way. I had to console him, so I said,--
"Well, you need not cry; you can have it all wiped out in a minute if you want."
"How, father, how?"
"Why, get down on your knees, and ask G.o.d for Christ"s sake, to wipe it out, and he will do it."
I did not have to speak twice. He jumped out of bed, saying, "Father, won"t you come and help me?"
Now came the trial. The boy"s distress was so great, and he pleaded so earnestly, that the man who had never once bowed before G.o.d in spirit and in truth, got down on his knees beside that little child, and asked G.o.d to wipe away his sins; and perhaps, though my lips did not speak it, my heart included my own sins too. We then rose, and he lay down in his bed again. In a few moments more he said,--
"Father, are you sure it is all wiped out?"
Oh, how the acknowledgment grated upon my unbelieving heart, as the words came to my mouth,--"Why, yes, my son; the Bible says that if from your heart you ask G.o.d for Christ"s sake to do it, and if you are really sorry for what you have done, it shall be all blotted out."
A smile of pleasure pa.s.sed over his face, as he quietly asked,--
"What did the angel blot it out with? With a sponge?"
Again was my whole soul stirred within me, as I answered,--
"No, but with the precious blood of Christ. The blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin."
The fountains had at last burst forth. They could not be checked, and my cold heart was melted within me. I felt like a poor guilty sinner, and, turning away, said,--
"My dear wife, _we_ must first find G.o.d, if we want to show him to our children. We cannot show them the way, unless we know it ourselves."
And in the silent hour of the night I bowed beside that dear boy, and prayed, "Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief!" My wife, too, united with me, and we prayed jointly for ourselves and our child. And G.o.d heard our prayers, and received us, as he always does those who seek him with the whole heart.
THE WAY TO OVERCOME.
When first from slumber waking, No matter what the hour, If you will say, "Dear Jesus, Come, fill me with thy power,"
You"ll find that every trouble And every care and sin Will vanish, surely, fully, Because Christ enters in.
It may be late in morning, Or in the dark before, When first you hear his knocking; But open wide the door, And say to him, "Dear Jesus, Come in and take the throne, Lest Satan with his angels Should claim it for his own."
For we are weak and sinful, "Led captive at his will."
But thou canst "bind the strong man,"
Our heart with sweetness fill.
So would we have "thy presence"
From our first waking hour; All through the swift day"s moments, Dwell thou with us in power.
NEVER INDORSE.
I shall not soon forget the family of Israel Day, who lived neighbor to my father when I was a boy. Mr. Day was working out as a laborer, and as he had a large family dependent upon his earnings for support, and sometimes it was difficult in our neighborhood to find employment, the family was poor, and the strictest economy had to be practiced to furnish the bare necessities of life.
I often wondered how it happened that such a man as Mr. Day should be so poor. He had no intemperate or extravagant habits, and was a man of more than common education, and there was an air of intelligence and refinement about the entire family that commanded the respect of their neighbors. Mr. Day was industrious, but always seemed to me a man who had no ambition in life, and who expected and desired no more than a mere subsistence for his family. No one in the neighborhood knew anything of his history. The family had come from another State a few years previous, and while polite and friendly, they were very uncommunicative as to their former life, and there was something about them that forbade inquisitiveness.
I was at this time sixteen years old, and on very intimate terms with Mr. Day"s family. At the time of my story he was helping my father on the farm for a few days and boarding with us. One day when we came in from our forenoon work, we found "Squire Black was to take dinner with us, and as he was reputed to be the wealthiest man in the township, we felt quite honored. He was a very genial man and an excellent talker, and had an adroit way of flattering and making every one feel easy in his company.
On this occasion he made himself very agreeable; he praised the neat appearance of the farm and buildings, complimented mother on her good cooking, called me a fine, manly fellow, gave some small change to the children, and by the time dinner was over had gained the good will of the entire family.
After dinner Mr. Black asked to see the stock and examine the arrangement of the barn and outbuildings, and as father took pride in having good, well-fed stock and one of the most conveniently arranged barns in the county, he was glad to show him around, and was much pleased with the hearty commendation which Mr. Black bestowed upon them.
He finally made known the object of his visit; he had found a piece of very desirable property for sale, low, so that there was no question that within less than a year he could clear several thousand dollars on it, but he must pay all cash down and he lacked two thousand dollars of having enough money to pay for it. He wished father to become security for him for one year, as he had found a party who was willing to lend him the amount if his signature could be had to the note.
He did not give father time to think or scarcely to answer his questions, but took out his pocketbook and handed him a paper, supposing it to be the note which he had drawn up, and signed by himself, all ready for father"s signature. I verily believe that if the paper had been what Squire Black thought it to be, father could not have refused to sign it; but it so happened that he had made a mistake and left the note at home and had subst.i.tuted for it another paper.
A shade of vexation pa.s.sed over the "Squire"s face when he discovered the mistake, but he at once recovered his good humor and said, "Never mind; I will call again this evening," and hastily mounted his horse and rode away.
Father looked troubled, and turning to me, said, "I do not like to indorse for any one, but "Squire Black will be insulted if I refuse, and as he is rich I suppose there can be no risk about it. It is only complying with a legal form, and I suppose I shall be obliged to do it; but I wish he had not asked me to do so."
Before I could reply, the barn door opened and Mr. Day came out; he was pale and deeply agitated, and when he spoke I should not have recognized his voice. Calling my father by name, he said, "I believe that you are in danger, and if you will listen to me I will give you a chapter from my own history that I had never intended should be known to any in this neighborhood."
Father motioned for me to leave, thinking that Mr. Day wished to speak to him alone. He noticed it, however, and said, "No, let him stay, for one cannot learn too soon the lesson that my experience teaches. I would be willing that it should be published to the world if thereby some could be saved from my bitter experience. I overheard, as you know, what "Squire Black said to you. Listen to my story and then decide as to whether you will put your name on his note."
[Ill.u.s.tration: Paul at Athens]
"Fifteen years ago, when I was married, I was not the poor man that you now know me to be. My father gave me as my share of his property two thousand dollars, which I had increased to three, and my wife received as her wedding portion one thousand dollars. We were both strong and willing to work, and ambitious to succeed in the world, and we bought a good farm, running in debt a few hundred dollars. For several years we were greatly prospered. We had good health, and the seasons were favorable, so that we grew heavy crops and obtained fair prices for them.
"At the end of five years we had paid off our debt and had nearly one thousand dollars in the bank, and we felt that it would be safe to build a new house, although we expected to put more than the amount of money on hand into it.
"In the meantime there had come into the neighborhood one of the most companionable men I ever met. He was familiarly known as Capt. Cole.
He had been a lawyer, but had been appointed by the General Government to a lucrative office which he held for some years, and had the reputation of being very wealthy. He lived in good style, and was a general favorite in all the community.
"When my house was finished I found myself in debt seven hundred dollars, and as I had given the contract to a carpenter, he to furnish everything, he needed all his money. I went to the bank to borrow the amount until I could find some one who would let me have it for one or two years, and not being accustomed to borrow money, it did not occur to me that an indorser would be necessary, until the cashier of the bank informed me that it was their invariable custom to require security. Capt. Cole, who happened to be in at the time, overheard the conversation and came forward with a pleasant "Good morning," saying, "I shall be only too happy to indorse for my friend, Mr. Day." I felt both grateful and flattered, and when a few months later I happened to be in the bank when he wanted an indorser, I was glad to return the favor.
"We had two years of prosperity, and I paid the debt on my house. I now determined to build a fine barn, and as I had always paid my debts easily and could not well get along with my old barn until I had saved the money to build the new one, I determined to borrow one thousand dollars, and happening to meet Capt. Cole, I asked him if he knew where I could get that amount for three years. He told me he did, and offered to become my security. The money was borrowed and my barn begun.
"A few weeks later Capt. Cole called to see me. Like "Squire Black to-day, he seemed delighted with everything he saw. His flattery put me in the best possible humor, and when he asked me to indorse a note of $5,000 for sixty days, and a.s.sured me that he could meet it (or even twice as much) promptly, to the day, I consented against my better judgment, and affixed my signature to the note. That act ruined me. Before the sixty days expired I learned that he was bankrupt. My farm was sold at a sacrifice, under the hammer, and when I paid the thousand dollars which I had borrowed to build the barn with, I was left penniless.
"With my history in your possession, do you wonder that I was alarmed to-day when I saw you about to fall into the same trap? I tell you I have a right to feel deeply on this subject. Would that I could make my voice heard by every young man in the land. I would say to him, shun as you would a serpent this evil which has brought ruin to so many families. I realize fully what it means to put my name on another man"s paper, and it is just this--that I a.s.sume all the risks of his business, without any voice in its management or any possible chance of profit if he is successful; but with a fearful certainty that if from any cause he makes a failure, my earnings must make it good, even though it reduces my family to beggary. Since my own misfortune I have made this a matter of study, and I find that a very large per cent. of the business failures, of the country (and nearly all among farmers) are due to this practice."
The remainder of my story is soon told. My father was deeply impressed by Mr. Day"s story, and before night I was dispatched to "Squire Black"s with a note from father stating that after carefully considering the matter he had decided not to sign the note. In less than a year after this "Squire Black was declared a bankrupt, and in the final settlement of his business it did not pay ten cents on the dollar.