I can do about that. "
"Maybe not," he conceded. "But you can show him that you care."
Where did he get off, lecturing her? She yanked her arms free. With the kitchen counter at her back, her eyes blazed as she faced Nik. "For your information, that old man who needs all this loving you"re talking about ripped my heart out when I needed him. I can"t just come skipping back to him and say everything"s fine and dandy."
Nik slowly measured out his words. Didn"t she see how counterproductive her feelings were? How destructive? "So where"s it going to end?"
She set her mouth firmly. "It already ended."
She didn"t believe that, he decided, studying her. "I don"t think so.
You"re still here," Nik pointed out. She began to answer, but he wouldn"t let her. "I think you just don"t know how to take the first step back."
Her expression was entirely impa.s.sive. He had no idea what she was thinking. "And if I never do?"
His eyes met hers. "I don"t think you"re that stubborn. Or that cruel." She let out a small huff of breath. "It"s easy , Sara. All you do is put your foot down on the path, just one at a time." He cupped her cheek so softly, tears nearly welled up in her eyes. "He needs you, Sara."
Her voice was hoa.r.s.e when she answered him. "I don"t need a guilt trip, Sinclair."
She wasn"t going to put him off. "You need something, Sara. Something has to break up that dam you"ve built inside of you or you"ll never be free."
She didn"t like him making it sound as if she was in some sort of bondage. " " Free to do what? "
His eyes were caressing her face. She could almost feel his touch along her skin. "To love anybody again."
"You, I suppose," she whispered.
A smile played on his lips. "Doesn"t sound all that bad to me." His fingertips curved along her face. "This schism between you and your father is eating you up inside. You"ve got to get rid of it, clear it out: "
He had to make her understand. Otherwise, when it was too late, she"d never forgive herself.
"Look, Sara, life"s short, shorter than we think. I thought my parents would be around forever. They weren"t: Regret filled his voice. "
There were things I said to them , things I did that I wished I could have taken back after it was too late- "
"You?" She looked at him incredulously. "The choirboy ?"
He laughed at the label. He was light-years away from that. Especially back then. "I don"t have those wings yet."
He kissed her forehead lightly. Sara couldn"t help thinking she had never felt anything so sweet. d.a.m.n him for being sweet. She liked it better when they were arguing. She knew how to handle herself then.
"I know what I"m talking about. Don"t waste time being angry or hurt.
Talk to him," he urged. "Tell him what you feel."
Sara dug in stubbornly. "
" I don"t feel anything: "
"Then tell him that, too." He had to be getting back. Nik crossed to the living room. "But work it out. I"ll see you on Monday."
Sara followed him to the front door. A flutter of panic began forming in her stomach. She didn"t want to be alone with her father. Nik had dredged up fresh emotions, disarming her. How was she supposed to cope with this situation ? " " You"re leaving? "
Was that sorrow? He would take anything he could get. "I have to." He ran a finger along her lips. "Miss me a little bit. It might be good for us: His eyes looked over her head toward the back of the house. "
But right now, you need to be alone with him. "
He closed the door behind him.
Bewildered, confused, Sara slowly walked to her father"s room. She stood in the hall for a long time, debating with herself. Finally she knocked lightly on his door. " " Dad? "
He was lying so still on the bed that for a moment, she thought he was asleep. But then he turned his face in her direction , his eyes only half open.
"Can I get you anything?"
He smiled and slowly shook his head. "No, but thanks for asking."
Sara nodded as she slipped out of the room again.
"Sure."
Maybe she"d taken the first step after all, she thought , closing the bedroom door behind her. But she was still going to need time for the others. A great deal of time.
"d.a.m.n you, Nik Sinclair, for messing me up all over again," she whispered as she went back to the kitchen. She needed a strong cup of coffee. Badly.
Chapter 10.
The telephone rang three times before Sara finally realized that there was no one in the office to answer it. Engrossed in her work, Sara had forgotten that Jennifer was out catering a party. One of the waitresses had taken Katie out for a walk, so the room was empty except for her.
She let it ring again, but no one at the front desk picked it up.
Apparently there wasn"t anyone there, either, she thought, irritated.
The shrill noise wouldn"t let her concentrate
Didn"t this thing ring in the kitchen as well? Where was everybody?
Sighing, Sara marked her place with her fingertip on the column of numbers she was inputting, and leaned over to pick up the receiver. Her hoop earring clanked against the earpiece as she cradled the telephone against her shoulder.
"Sinclair"s," she murmured absently. "How may I help you?"
There was a momentary pause on the other end of the line Then a deep male voice asked, "Sara?"
"Yes." She frowned. It didn"t sound like her father. Who would be calling her here? "Who"s this?"
The laugh was resonant. He hadn"t called to talk to her , but now that she was on the phone, Brom was delighted. "Your favorite cousin, last time I checked."
"Brom." Sara sat up, the long column of numbers temporarily forgotten.
She grasped the receiver in her hand again as she pictured her cousin sitting in his office. "How are you? "
"I"m fine. The more important question is, how are you doing? "
Idly she ran her finger along the bottom of the monitor. She thought of her father. "As well as can be expected." Her mind shifted to Nik and took on a completely different tone. "You didn"t tell me that your brother-in-law was pigheaded"