Her father looked almost skeletal in his street clothes. Could four days make that much of a difference in a man"s appearance? He looked worn and even more shrunken than he had before the operation. For one unguarded moment her heart ached to see him like this. And then she was resurrecting her barriers, shoring up her heart against all breaches.
"I packed," Raymond told her by way of a greeting. His smile looked as if it required more effort than he had to spare. His eyes, mirror images of Sara"s, shifted to Nik. A question rose in them.
Nik moved forward and took the man"s hand in his. Raymond did his best to grip it firmly. It was more difficult than he liked.
Nik took in the stubborn set of the jaw, the proud brown eyes. The man was Sara"s father, all right. "h.e.l.lo. I thought I"d help Sara bring you home. I"m Nik Sinclair, Sara"s boss: "
"He"s taken the term to heart," Sara flung over her shoulder.
She looked in the closet to see if her father had left anything behind.
A single wire hanger swayed slightly in the breeze she had created by opening the door. She closed it again.
"It"s only temporary, though." She had to keep reminding herself of that before she became too complacent. This was all only temporary.
Nik shoved his hands into his pockets as he stood back, out of the way.
Caught in the silent cross fire, he tried to understand exactly what was going on between Sara and her father. It was almost as if their roles were reversed. Sara was the angry parent while Raymond behaved like the contrite child.
She felt Nik"s eyes on her. He was doing it again, she thought, annoyed. He was a.n.a.lyzing her. She turned toward her father. "Has the doctor been here to see you yet?" _ Raymond held up a bulging envelope that was lying on the bed next to him.
"He came by an hour ago to give me my discharge papers" Because it was less painful to look at Nik, Raymond addressed his words to the other man. "I"m a free man." He handed the envelope to Sara. " " The nurse said to ring for her when you got here so that she could bring a wheelchair. "
Sara looked up sharply, the envelope hovering over the mouth of her purse. Her eyes shifted to her father"s legs. "Wheelchair? You can"t walk?"
"Sure I can walk." He waved a disparaging hand in the air, annoyed at what he considered the entire dehumanizing process of being in a hospital. "It"s some d.a.m.ned hospital policy to take away our dignity.
Just like with those drafty hospital gowns they make you wear. Slit straight up the back to rob you of your privacy."
Nik straightened. He jerked a thumb toward the door. "I"ll go get the nurse."
"No." Sara placed her hand on Nik"s arm, stopping him. "I will."
His first impression was that she just didn"t want him doing anything for her. But one look at her face made him realize that the reason she was racing out into the hall ahead of him was that she didn"t want to be alone with her father. The realization hit him. That was why she had agreed to his coming along with her in the first place. She didn"t want to be alone with the man.
Sara hurried out of the room. Nik looked after her and shook his head.
"Have you known my Sara long?"
Raymond"s question had Nik turning away from the door. My Sara. Nik wondered what Sara would have had to say about that.
He felt sorry for the man.
Nik sat in the single chair next to the bed. "No, my brother-in-law recommended her. Brom Culhane, " Nik explained
Raymond"s gaunt face stretched into a smile. "Brom: He repeated the name fondly " How"s he doing these days? " Sara"s father nodded toward the closed door. " Sara didn"t say very much about him. " He shrugged selfconsciously , his eyes bright. " I"ve kind of lost touch with everyone over the years. "
The man looked so eager for news Nik didn"t have the heart to brush him off with a few token words. He searched his mind for something he could tell him. It turned out to be a great deal more than he had realized. They were still talking when Sara returned.
She reentered the room with a nurse"s aide directly behind her. Holding the door open as the young woman pushed in the wheelchair, Sara was surprised by the sound of voices. Her father and Nik were talking as if they were old friends exchanging anecdotes. Her father was actually laughing. Sara pressed her lips together.
She didn"t know exactly why hearing Nik talk with her father annoyed her, but it did. Ruefully she realizerl that, in her own way, she had wanted Nik to be on her side. And there were sides drawn in this, very clear-cut sides. She was on one and her father was on the other. And there were never going to be any peace talks.
"Wheelchair"s here," she announced needlessly. Nik rose from his seat as the aide lined up the wheelchair next to the bed.
Raymond turned to look at Sara. "You didn"t tell me that Nik was related to Kane."
Ididn"t tell you a lot of things because you never asked
"I didn"t think you"d be interested." Her voice was polite , but completely devoid of feeling. "I have no idea what you"re interested in anymore."
Sara picked up her father"s suitcase, her mouth grimly set.
Nik glanced at Sara as he helped Raymond into the wheelchair. Raymond seemed like a basically decent man. Just what the h.e.l.l was Sara"s problem? Nik knew he was going to have to find out before they could make any headway themselves.
When they arrived at the house, Nik found himself just tqcing over. For once, Sara let him.
As Nik helped her father into the house and then into the bedroom, Sara busied herself in the kitchen making coffee. She took an inordinately long time measuring out the crystals and pouring cups of water into the urn. If she couldn"t keep her mind busy, at least her hands were occupied.
She wished she had never come here. Why couldn"t she have just made up an excuse, told her father that she couldn"t get away? Why had she come all this way just to put herself through all this again?
Because part of her had never gotten over his rejection. She had buried it, but not forgotten it. She"d loved him dearly once and there was a part of her that yearned to reestablish their old relationship.
To do that she needed to do the impossible. She needed to forgive him.
Maybe subconsciously that was why she had come, to find a way to forgive him. But she wanted him to know how much he had hurt her, wanted him to squirm for what he had done. Most of all, she wanted her father to apologize. Because she wanted him to tell her why he had walked away from her the way he had.
Grow up, Sara. Not everything has a happy ending.
"You"re making a mistake, you know."
Startled, Sara dropped the measuring cup, and a shower of dark crystals spilled on the colorless vinyl floor. Muttering , she picked up a sponge from the sink and began wiping up the mess. She looked up at Nik, her eyes just the slightest shade dangerous. "No, I don"t know, but I"m sure that you"ll tell me."
He took the sponge from her hand and rinsed it, then squeezed out the water. He envisioned her neck in his hand in place of the yellow sponge. "What"s going on between you and your father? "
"Nothing." She added the last measuring cup of coffee crystals into the receptacle. "Absolutely nothing."
She said the words with such finality it should have been the end of the conversation. But it wasn"t. She might have known that it wouldn"t be. Nik didn"t seem to res pert boundaries or privacy.
"No, it"s definitely something." When she wouldn"t turn around to face him, he laid his hands on her shoulders and turned her toward him.
"Sara, he"s sorry for what he did."
Sara lifted her chin. A stubborn look entered her eyes. "I don"t really care."
She might be fooling herself, but she wasn"t fooling him. "Oh, yes, you do." She struggled to shrug him off, but he wouldn"t let her go so easily. He had to get through to her somehow before it was too late.
For all of them. "You really care. Otherwise, you wouldn"t be acting like a spoiled brat."
The dark look in her eyes would have warned off a lesser man. "You"re going a little too far, Sinclair, don"t you think? " " " No, I don"t think I"ve gone far enough. " He nodded toward the rear of the house.
" There"s an old man in there who needs you. He"s just come face-to-face with his own mortality and he"s scared. "
Nik wasn"t saying anything to her that she hadn"t already thought of.
But it didn"t change anything. "There"s nothing