"I"m fine."
Love?No. Not in this lifetime. Not with any man and especially not with Mark.
"What were you thinking?" he asked.
She avoided his gaze. "Just that I"m glad we"ve been responsible since that first time. You"ve been really good about wearing a condom."
"I"m happy to do it."
If s.e.x was going to be a part of her life, she needed to take precautions. This time she"d gotten off lightly, but what if she had been pregnant? The odds of her getting involved with anyone seemed slim, but it obviouslycould happen.
"Maybe I should go on the Pill," she said, more to herself than him.
"An interesting idea."
Heat flared in her cheeks as she realized what she"d just said aloud. "Oh! I didn"t mean to say that. I, ah, just..." She drew in a breath. "I was thinking out loud. I wasn"t hinting."
He lightly touched her arm. "I"ve missed you."
She knew what he meant. He"d missed her in bed. She wanted to say she hadn"t missed him. That she didn"t want a physical relationship with him. Not anymore. Unfortunately she"d never been much of a liar.
She breathed his name.
For a man with a swollen ankle, he moved darned fast, she thought as he eased closer and wrapped an arm around her.
She told herself to resist. She told herself to pull away. s.e.x with Mark always made her life more complicated. They"d barely gotten one mess straightened out did she really want to make a new one?
He lightly kissed her mouth. Her resolve faded like so much mist as her body went on alert.
"I don"t want to start trouble," she said, even as she wiggled closer to him.
"We make the best kind of trouble," he whispered, and deepened the kiss.
Chapter Twelve.
Darcy thought about trying to convince herself that she was being swept away against her will when the truth was she wanted to be with Mark. Being close to him might weaken her resolve to the point where she didn"t have a whole lot of choice in the matter, but that was her problem. Not his. She and Mark created some kind of sensual magic when they were together.
He cupped her face, his fingers warm and gentle as they rested on her cheek. His mouth moved against hers, his tongue stroking her lower lip. His scent surrounded her. Although they"d only made love a handful of times, the moment felt familiar. She knew how he would taste when she parted for him. She antic.i.p.ated the lean strength of his body, the way his arousal would press against her. She knew his touch, his heat, his need.
Such knowledge implied an intimacy that frightened her. Her first instinct was to push him away. But her longing was too intense. She could only part her lips and surrender, hoping she was smart enough to keep her heart out of reach.
His tongue brushed against hers. She moaned softly as feeling swept through her. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s grew more sensitive as her nipples tightened, pushing against her bra. Between her legs, familiar need made her insides heavy as her body antic.i.p.ated their joining.
As she went to wrap her arms around him, she found herself trapped against the sofa. Sitting next to each other made the logistics awkward at best. She started to move,then remembered his tender ankle.
"We have a problem," she said, pulling away and gazing at him.
He took her hand and drew it down to his crotch. "I think maybe "ma.s.sive" would be a better description.Certainly not "problem.""
She closed her fingers around his arousal. Just knowing how much he wanted her made her go all soft.Soft to his hard. She shivered slightly.
"I meant your ankle," she said. "Our positions here are a little awkward. I"m not sure how to make it easier."
"You could help me into your bedroom."
"Yes, I could."
She rose to her feet,then helped him to his. An hour ago, she"d been furious and hurt. Now she simply wanted to make love with him.
They moved slowly toward the hall. He hopped, while allowing her to support some of his weight. When they entered her bedroom, they headed for the bed. Mark sat on the mattress,then reached for her, pulling her between his parted legs.
"What about your ankle?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and bent toward him.
"Let me worry about that."
They kissed, tongues circling and dancing in a pattern they"d created for just the two of them. The deep, intimate contact made her toes curl. His hands leisurely stroked up and down her back, drawing her closer while touching her all over. He cupped her rear, squeezing the curves,then stroked her hips. From there his hands journeyed up toward her chest.
He avoided her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, instead running his fingers along her arms. Even through her long-sleeved shirt she felt the warmth of his touch. She shivered,then sighed.
He returned to her waist where he pulled her shirt free of her jeans. As he nibbled her lower lip and breathed her name, he began to unfasten the b.u.t.tons.One by one.Slowly. Cool air tickled along her bare skin, then her shoulders and arms as he drew off the shirt. He reached for her bra hooks and unfastened them. She dropped her arms to her side and let the garment slip to the floor.
Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were already swollen in antic.i.p.ation, her nipples tight. When he broke the kiss on her lips, she caught her breath in antic.i.p.ation of those same actions repeated on another sensitive spot.
He read her mind. His hands pressed on her back, urging her forward until he licked her right nipple. Darcy held in a scream. Fire flared from that single point of contact, heating her other breast, her chest, then searing down between her legs. She felt herself dampen instantly. Her jeans felt too tight. Hunger filled her hunger brought on by a need so powerful she knew she would die if he didn"t touch her intimately.
He licked her, moving from breast to breast,then breathing against the valley between. He bent his head and nipped the sensitive skin on her side.
"I want you," he said, raising his gaze to hers.
She saw the need in his eyes, the pa.s.sion flaring there. She bent to kiss him, as she reached for the b.u.t.tons on his shirt.
Her fingers fumbled as her tongue mated with his. Laughing softly, they broke apart to remove the rest of their clothes.
"We need to be careful," she reminded him as he gingerly removed the sock on his swollen ankle. "Are you sure about this?"
Mark pulled off his briefs. His arousal sprang free. "Does that answer your question?"
Her gaze lingered on that most male part of him. She liked the shape of him, the way she could hold him and feel the heavy pulse of his blood.
"It"s a very visual reply," she murmured.
He eased himself back on the bed. "I don"t think we"re going to have a problem," he said. "As long as you don"t mind being on top."
Darcy had never been completely comfortable with her body.At least not in the company of other people. But with Mark she felt safe. He"d touched every part of her and his obvious pleasure in pleasing her had made her stop worrying that she wasn"t perfect enough.
"I can be on top," she told him, then imaginedherself straddling him, his arousal thrusting into her.
"Good, then come here."
He drew her to him, shifting her so that they faced each other. She stared into his eyes, watching his pupils dilate when she reached down to stoke him.
"Two can play at that game," he teased, brushing her hand away and slipping his fingers between her thighs.
He found her point of pleasure instantly. She was already swollen and oh, so ready. Her eyes closed of their own accord as she lost herself in the feeling of him touching her. He"d already learned the rhythm she preferred. Slow, then faster as she got closer.
Over and over, the steady stroking brought her to the edge of madness. He stopped to shift her legs,then continued. But this time was different. She felt his hardness probing. Instinctively she arched toward him, trying to draw him in. But because of their positions he could only enter a little bit,then he retreated. Her inner muscles clenched tightly, as if they could will him to be inside of her. Antic.i.p.ation fueled her desire. She found herself moving closer and closer as her body tensed.
"Tell me just before," he whispered.
She forced herself to open her eyes. "Why?"
"I"m gonna stop."
"Mark!"
"You"ll like it. I promise."
Her eyelids sank closed as he began to move faster. Tension spiraled nearly out of control. She didn"t want to stop. She wanted this to go on forever. She wanted- "Now!" she cried.
As promised, he removed his fingers. She gasped in disappointment as the intensity subsided slightly. Then she noticed that he was still pushing against her.Going in a tiny bit, but not fully. All her attention focused on that place where they touched. Tension began to grow again.
He teased her with his not-quite-entering until she was breathless and begging. Then he stopped that, too.
Darcy knew she was going to die. Or explode. She couldn"t stand it. Not like this. She had to they had to- Still on his side, he bent down and licked her nipple. The contact was better than it had been before. Every part of her was sensitized. She rolled onto her back, offering herself to him. He bent over her, sucking deeply, using his fingers on one nipple, his tongue on the other. He touched and tormented untila sheen of perspiration covered her body. She could barely catch her breath.
Finally he raised his head. "About that protection we were discussing earlier."
She reached for the box of condoms in her nightstand. Her fingers shook as she slipped one on him.
"I"d like you to get on top of me," he whispered, then smiled a smile that promised paradise."Slowly."
She did as he requested, first rising to her knees, then straddling him. He was hard and ready, slipping easily into her waiting wetness. She was so ready. So close. Her first instinct was to ride him. He grabbed her hips to hold her still.
"Slow," he repeated.
Her breath caught. She couldn"t goslow . She would die. Or explode.Or both.
It was agony, but she forced herself toraise up in millimeters, then settle back on his length. With her second stroke, he reached between their bodies and rubbed her swollen center.
The unexpected caress was more than she could stand. She found herself shattering without warning. All thoughts of slow went out of her mind as shepulsed her hips and lost herself in the sensations shooting through her. He continued to rub her,then suddenly he clutched her hips and groaned. She felt him stiffen.
The last of her contractions faded as contentment filled her. When he drew her into his arms, she went willing, resting her head on his chest and listening to the rapid thunder of his heart.
They snuggled under the covers. Darcy breathed in Mark"s scent and sighed with happiness. Maybe she was being foolish, allowing herself to connect physically with this man, but she couldn"t find it in her heart to feel regret. Maybe that would come later, but for now there was only a sense of belonging.
Mark wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair, wrapping her curls around his fingers,then releasing them.
"I"ve missed you," he told her. "I missed talking to you."
She didn"t want to a.n.a.lyze his words too much, or read more into them than he meant, so she settled for the easiest, most honest response.
"Me, too."
"Tell me what"s been going on in your life since we were last together."
"I got the baking contract at the Hip Hop. I"m going to see Melissa tomorrow after my shift and we"ll decide on what I"ll be baking and how much."
"Hey, that"s great." He squeezed her. "Are you going to have to give up sleep to get it all done?"
"Maybe.But it"s worth it." She hesitated. "I"m not trying to get rich. I need the money to pay for Dirk"s school."
Mark rolled onto his back and settled her with her head on his shoulder. "I"ve never been to theMadisonSchool, but I"ve heard about it. It has a great reputation."
"I know." She tilted her head so she could look at him. "We knew pretty early that there was something different about Dirk. My dad completely freaked out. He would-n"thave anything to do with him. My mom went in the other direction. She became completely absorbed with his problems, and wanted to fix him. When she found out there wasn"t a cure for what he had, she turned her back on him, as well."
Darcy pressed her hand against Mark"s chest. "I was too into my own life to realize what was going on. To me, Dirk was my brother. I loved him, we had fun together. End of story. It wasn"t until my parents died and I was responsible for him that I began to worry about his future."
"Is he the reason you moved toArizona?"
"Part of it.There was a decent school where we were, but after all our friends abandoned us, I didn"t see the point in staying. I wanted to try living somewhere warm. Dirk was in a day program there and he was really doing well, but as he got older, he needed more."
"How old is he?"
"Fourteen." She smiled. "He"s a great kid.Funny and caring. But he"s growing taller every year and it became difficult to find a baby-sitter for when I wasn"t home. Plus he needed more one-on-one attention. I found out about theMadisonSchool. They"re different in that they focus on preparing teenagers like Dirk for the real world. They have a fabulous staff and an excellent curriculum."
"How do you pay for it?"
She raised herself up on her elbow. "Not by laundering money."
"Ouch."
She lightly kissed him. "Sorry. I was teasing. Actually I"ve been getting by. I had some savings when we moved here and the school lets me pay monthly. That money you saw in my music box is my entire savings account."
"You shouldn"t keep it in cash."
"I know. But I get paid in cash and getting to the bank is one more thing I don"t have time to do. The good news is that one of Dirk"s counselors told me that he thinks we"ll be eligible for financial aid. I"m trying not to get my hopes up, but if they could cover even half of his school, it would be a huge help."
"And in the meantime you work two jobs."