Christmas Present

Chapter 12

"Why not? I"ve done it before."

"What I mean is," she said softly, slowly, almost thinking one word at a time now, "you"re dressed and lying on the outside of the covers. You won"t be comfortable like that; you won"t be able to get any rest."

"Trust me, Bria. This is probably the only way I"d be able to get any sleep. Taking off my clothes and getting under the covers with you sure as h.e.l.l wouldn"t work. Don"t mistake my wanting to help you with a sudden elevation to sainthood. The way my body responds to you, it would take me about ten seconds flat to forget your headache. And going back to my room wouldn"t work either. I"d only worry about you and get angry all over again about how absolutely stupid you"re acting."

She believed the part about his anger, but she didn"t believe that he would forget about her headache. What he was doing spoke of a caring person.

She started to protest, but he went on. "Close your eyes. Relax. You"ll feel better when you wake up. And if I won"t, it"s nothing for you to be concerned about. I"m doing this because, for better or worse, it seems to be what I want to do."



He was right, she thought. Even though they had slept only a few nights together, she was certain she would now find sleeping without him close to impossible. She might as well try to stack the deck in favor of a good rest. "Thank you, Kells."

"There"s nothing to thank me for. We"ll resume our battles tomorrow."

She had no doubt they would. Days before she had likened him to a hard-edged, jaggedly cut piece of granite. And what she had learned since bore out her conclusion. It wasn"t in his nature to yield to anyone. She should have known he wouldn"t simply leave because she asked. No, whatever it was that he wanted, he would keep trying to get. That"s why she had no time to waste in finding an answer to the puzzle created by the vision in the mirror.

But he was right; she couldn"t do anything more tonight. Already she could feel the aspirin working, dimming her pain. Or maybe it was his fingers as he gently ma.s.saged her temples and occasionally stroked her hair.

Whatever it was, she began to relax and soon drifted off to sleep.

His shoes were off, Kells thought, still half asleep. And someone had pulled a cover over him. His hand automatically went to the other side of the bed. It was empty. Bria. His eyes flew open and searched the room until he found her.

She sat cross-legged on the floor in the slant of the early morning sun, staring into a mirror she had propped against a chair leg. Her long lace and beribboned nightgown skimmed her body and lay in silky folds around her bare feet. Her hair was a shining fall down her back. Her profile showed an expression set in concentration and a beauty that still tended to stop him cold every time he saw her.

When she had asked him to leave Killara, he had been hurt beyond what he had believed was his capacity to be hurt. Like a wounded animal, he had retreated to his room to pace, to exercise, to do anything he could think of to rid himself of the pain of her rejection. But his anger and hurt had gotten so bad, he had been driven to seek her out the previous night. Even now, the more awake he became, the higher his anger climbed. And the more he wanted to fight for what he wanted.

"How"s your headache?"

She jumped. She hadn"t known he was awake, hadn"t expected his softly husky morning voice to sc.r.a.pe across her nerve endings like the serrated edge of a knife. She looked over her shoulder at him. "It"s gone."

"Good. When did you cover me up?"

"I woke up briefly sometime in the night. I thought you"d sleep better if you were warm."

"How kind." She returned her gaze to the mirror, and he silently cursed himself for being unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice. But he had never loved like this before, never been hurt like this. He tossed the cover aside and sat up. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." She shifted to her knees and lifted the mirror into the chair"s seat.

"You must have been doing something. You were concentrating pretty hard. If it"s the way you look that"s bothering you, let me be the first to tell you, there"s something seriously wrong with that mirror."

"I wasn"t looking at myself." She knew the minute the words were out of her mouth, it had been the wrong thing to say.

"Then what were you looking at?"

She surged to her feet. "Nothing." She had been staring into the mirror for over an hour, looking for something. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, it hadn"t showed her anything. "Why don"t you go back to your room now?"

"Still trying to get rid of me?" He walked slowly to her. "It"s not going to work, you know, not until I know the reason why."

As he approached, the musky male scent of his body grew tantalizingly stronger. She sought to counter its effect on her by injecting her words with coldness. "Everyone will be awake soon, if they"re not already, and I don"t want anyone to know you spent the night in here."

"You came to my room the night before, Bria."

"Yes, and if you"ll recall, I said then I didn"t want to flaunt our affair."

"There"s nothing wrong with my memory. The way you cried out while we were making love is burned into my mind. You didn"t seem too concerned about your parents then."

"Don"t be cruel, Kells."

"Baby, you don"t even have a clue about how cruel I can be. And stating a fact is not being cruel. Not explaining what has changed between the night before last and now most definitely is."

"I told you I needed time-"

"You used a bunch of words that were full of nothing but air, Bria. I want to know what changed, and I want to know it now."

Involuntarily her gaze flew to the mirror. "Nothing."

He followed her gaze. "What is so d.a.m.ned fascinating about that mirror?"

"Nothing."

He grabbed her arm and hauled her against him. "I have a very sure feeling," he said softly, "that if you say the word nothing to me one more time, I won"t be responsible for my actions."

She wrenched her arm from his hold, and for one wild moment was tempted to tell him about the mirror. But she immediately backed away from the idea. He wouldn"t believe her any more than her parents had.

His expression sharpened. "Wait a minute. The first night I arrived. Burke asked you about a mirror, but then got sidetracked to something else. Me, I think. Is this the mirror he was talking about?"

She nodded, deciding there wouldn"t be any harm in at least sketching in what little she knew of the mirror"s background. Hopefully it would appease him. "I had found it in the old part of the attic earlier that day, but I haven"t found any doc.u.mentation on it yet. That"s what I was doing up in the attic last night, looking for something that might fill me in on its background."

His eyes narrowed. "Really? Well, then suppose you tell me what"s so d.a.m.ned important about a mirror that it would make you lie to your mother and stay up in a cold attic until you were exhausted and in pain?"

She should have known he wouldn"t be satisfied with tidbits. "I-I"m interested in its history, that"s all."

"Why don"t I believe you?"

Because she was telling him only half truths, she thought guiltily. She turned on her heel. "I"m going to get dressed and-"

He caught her by the arm and swung her around. "You"re not going anywhere until I understand why you want me to leave Killara. Now, it"s d.a.m.ned hard for me to believe that it"s because of a stupid mirror, but at the moment it"s all I have to go on. So explain, Bria, and make me believe it, because, dammit, you owe me that much."

Maybe she did, she thought, suddenly weary of shouldering her fears alone. And after all, he was one of the two people most directly affected. He wouldn"t believe her either, but she supposed she should at least try to make him understand. She exhaled a long, ragged breath. "All right, Kells. I"ll tell you everything, I promise. But I"m warning you, it may make things worse, not better."

He released her and crossed his arms over his chest. "I"m waiting."

"Look into the mirror." "What?"

"Gaze into the mirror for at least a minute, then tell me what you see."

His expression was clearly dubious, but he did as she asked.

"What did you see?" she asked after a minute.

He straightened away from the mirror and faced her, his hands on his hips. "That I need a shave."

She sighed. At least the mirror was being consistent. So far, she was the only person it responded to.

"When I look into it I see scenes of things that I know have happened or are about to happen."

"What?"

"When I first found it, I looked into it and saw my mother riding my dad"s horse across a meadow. I knew that was something that had happened. Since then, I"ve seen various scenes which have come true, up to and including the two of us making love. That particular scene was behind my sudden decision to fly to Tucson."

"Why? Because you didn"t want it to happen?"

"No, because I did."

He uttered a long string of oaths. "Lord, Bria, you"re really a piece of work."

"Yeah, well, wait, there"s more. Yesterday I saw a scene in the mirror that has me more frightened than I"ve ever been in my life."

His expression darkened. "Why, for G.o.d"s sake? Bria, you can"t believe what you"re saying, that you actually see things in a mirror that come true. You"ve got to be joking. Tell me you"re joking!"

She shook her head, her lips tight. "Look, you wanted to know. Just listen and let me finish. The scene I saw was of you and Dad. He was lying on the ground, dead. You were standing over him, holding a gun. That"s why I asked you to leave Killara. I"m trying in every way I know to keep that scene from coming true."

He stayed very still for long moments. When he finally spoke, his voice was vibrating with quiet fury. "Do you honestly believe I would kill Burke?"

"No. That is, I don"t think you would want to, but sometimes people do things they never planned on doing. Fate can take sharp turns without warning, without our permission."

"Fate?"

She threw out her arms. "Don"t you realize that I know how preposterous what I"m saying sounds? I wish I"d never found that d.a.m.ned mirror. But I did, and I"m telling you, almost everything that I"ve seen in there has come true."

"Almost everything?" "I"ve seen five scenes, not counting the scene with you and Dad. So far, four have come true. Based on the mirror"s track record, I"m convinced that what hasn"t yet come true will." He stared at her. "I know you"re not crazy..."

"Thank you for-"

"But you must be pretty d.a.m.ned desperate to get rid of me to come up with this c.o.c.k-and-bull story." "Kells, it"s all truer "It can"t be, Bria." "It is." He jabbed long, stiffened fingers through his hair. He felt as if she were killing him part by part. If anyone but Bria had asked him to leave, had told him an absurd story about a mirror, he"d be gone in a heartbeat. But here he was... "You leave me speechless, Bria."

"Please-" "No. Stop. Don"t say another word." His eyes blazed with fury. "I"ve figured it out. I"m the one who"scrazy, because it doesn"t seem to matter what you say. Despite everything, I"m still here, and I can"t helpbut want you."

"Kells, don"t." "Why not? At least my need for you makes sense. Nothing else appears to." At her sides, her hands curled inward. "d.a.m.n you, Kells, take me seriously. If you even try to kill my father, there won"t be a place on earth where you"ll be safe. If the law doesn"t get you, a Delaney will."

He swirled and hit the wall with his fist. A painting fell to the floor. A chip of wood flew off its frame. He never once looked at it. "I have no intention, no matter what the circ.u.mstances, of killing your dad. Believe me."

His anger was. .h.i.tting her in waves, but she didn"t even flinch. She couldn"t. Too much was riding on the outcome. "I do believe you. Now von believe me. It"s going to happen, just like I saw in the-"

"Impossible." He flung up his hands. "Absolutely impossible."

She briefly closed her eyes as pain swept through her. She knew he was talking about her and them and whatever future they might have together. "Listen to me. Try to understand. Something is going to happen in the future to cause you to kill my father, something you and I can"t foresee, something over which you"re not going to have any control."

He muttered a crude oath. "You mean like a crime of pa.s.sion? Forget it, Bria. It"ll never happen. For better or worse, all my pa.s.sion is reserved for you."

"Kells, please, help me. Leave. Go back to Australia until I can find some information on the mirror. If I can keep you and Dad separated-"

"Forget it. I won"t leave unless you come with me."

The air between them was charged with raw emotion. The emotion made him want her, but it couldn"t make him love or believe her. "I can"t come with you. Don"t you see?"

"No, Bria, I don"t. Not even a little bit." Frustration had tightened the tendons in his neck until they were clearly defined. "And there doesn"t seem to be a d.a.m.n thing I can do about it."

"Yes, you can-"

"No. I can"t. There"s nothing I can do about it. And now that I reconsider, you may be certifiable, but oddly enough, I don"t give a d.a.m.n. I want you. And since I don"t have the willpower to leave you, I guess the only thing I can do, the only d.a.m.n thing that makes sense, is to make you want me as much as I want you. At least that way the present will be bearable and, for a little while, the future will seem less important."

He reached for her and pulled her against him. "Kells, don"t-"

"Save your breath, sweetheart. Save it for something that will make us both feel good."

Already the heat was beginning inside her. "Kells, I can"t."

"Yes, you can," he said, his voice almost a growl, "because you need it as much as I do. Afterward you can go back to believing in mirrors and smoke or crystal b.a.l.l.s and magic for all I care. But, for now, believe in the way we can make each other feel. It"s the only real, important thing anyway."

He drew her to the bed and pulled her down on it with him. Thoughts of resistance were fleeting. He wouldn"t listen, and she didn"t think she could say any more. The pa.s.sion was there, around them and in them. It was basic, elemental, and impossible to fight. And she wanted him, oh, how she wanted him!

He unfastened and adjusted his slacks and lifted her gown. Then he stabbed deep within her. Incredible waves of pleasure rolled throughout her entire body, and she arched up to him, trying to take him deeper.

"You see," he said through gritted teeth. "You see. You want me as much as I want you." As he spoke, he drove in and out of her. Fire raged in his brain and in his loins. Each time he thrust into her, she closed tightly around him, so tightly he didn"t think he"d ever be able to, ever want to, pull free. But then, in the next heartbeat, he would; the urge to plunge into her again was too primitive, too all-consuming. "We can never stop, you and I... because we"ll never get enough of each other." His breath was hot and harsh, the rhythm of his speech broken. "Tell me you understand. Tell me."

"Yes..."

It had been destined for them to come together like this, though this might very well be the last time.

He flexed his hips and thrust into her powerfully, deeply, piercing to her very center. She lost control. She wrapped her legs around his frantically undulating hips, dug her fingers into his shoulders, and hung on. Cries ripped from her throat to mingle with his cries.

The pressure inside her became more intense, the coiled tension more acute. She felt hot, feral, and soaked to her bones with desire. Then suddenly her head went back, her body tensed, and she exploded, and at the same time she felt his forceful spasms begin. A sound of utter satisfaction that was almost a scream tore up from her chest. And she came apart in his arms.

When Bria woke up, the light of the sun had lowered and she was alone. She wasn"t surprised that Kells had left. She had delivered two major blows to him: one, that she believed in something as crazy as a mirror that showed her the future, and two, that she believed he would kill her father. By turns he had been angry, pa.s.sionate, furious. But beneath each emotion there had been pain for which she was totally responsible. And she hadn"t escaped the pain either. She felt as if her insides were in sheds.

Traumatized to the extent she felt almost physically injured, she moved slowly as she went to take a shower and dress. Then she returned to her room and sat down in an easy chair by the window. She pulled her feet up onto the cushion and propped her arms on her knees. It was the position she took whenever she had a problem to work out, only she had never had a problem as pivotal, as monumentally important, as this one.

Kells might still want her, but he would never be able to love her now. He thought she didn"t have any faith in him, and he viewed that lack of faith as a betrayal. In reality, her faith in him was strong. She just had some weird Irish, fatalistic streak in her that was equally as strong.

But she wasn"t one hundred percent Irish. Among other kinds, Apache blood also ran through her veins, giving her strength and a certain fierceness. She was determined that some way, somehow, she would overcome the mirror and the awful scene it had shown her.

Her heart was full of sorrow. For Kells. For what would never be. Earlier, when he had taken her in his arms, she hadn"t been able to refuse him, just as she hadn"t been able to hold back. And she didn"t regret it for one second. How could she? She loved him with her whole being.

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