"How"s Rick?"
"Rick?" Christy echoed.
Todd kept looking straight ahead into the night. "That was Rick, wasn"t it?"
"Yes, but how did you know?"
Todd turned and gave her a look that said, We guys know these things, okay?
"He"s fine, I guess. He"s in Italy."
"Italy?"
"His family is on vacation there." Is Todd jealous of Rick the way I"m jealous of Paula?
Todd kept looking out at the ocean, his jaw pressed forward as it did when he was deep in thought or about to say something profound.
Christy waited.
Todd remained silent.
Then Christy did something rather bold for her. She knew Bob was still in the living room, watching TV behind them, but this was her birthday-her sweet sixteen-and this was her wish, to be alone with Todd. She slipped her hand through Todd"s arm, which rested on the chair.
Todd immediately responded by reaching for her hand and meshing their fingers together. Christy felt relieved. Calmed. Full of birthday wishes. She hoped that her reaching out to him like this would a.s.sure him there was really nothing going on between her and Rick. At least, she didn"t think anything was going on between her and Rick.
Todd stroked Christy"s Forever bracelet with his thumb, watching the ocean and studying the darkness without saying anything. Christy thought of about fifty different things to say but kept silent too. She knew she didn"t have to apologize for Rick calling, and she didn"t have to define her feelings for anybody.
She wished she could find words from her heart that would tell Todd how she felt about him. Every time she had tried to explain it in the past, she had gotten all goofed up and felt silly. She could write her feelings for him accurately and had many times in her diary. But she didn"t know how to say what she felt. Maybe Todd didn"t either.
"See Molokai over there?" Todd broke the silence with a quiet yet direct voice.
Christy knew two islands were visible from the condo, Lanai and Molokai. If she remembered correctly, Molokai was to their right.
"Yes." She followed Todd"s gaze to the right.
"It"s less than nine miles away. See those two lights?"
Christy noticed for the first time that on the dark, spa.r.s.ely populated island two lights twinkled like stars, right next to each other on the sh.o.r.eline. "Yes?"
"From here we can"t tell what they are," Todd said. "Just two lights that look about the same." He sighed deeply. "I guess the only way to tell which one you want to end up at is to get close enough to see clearly what each of them is. Then you can make a wise decision between the two. It"s hard to decide this far away."
Like a secret decoder wheel, Christy"s thoughts spun furiously, trying to figure out Todd"s message.
This has to do with Rick. Todd must think he and Rick are like the two lights. What did he say? I have to get close enough to make a wise decision.
Christy moved a little closer to Todd, and he responded by holding her hand a little tighter. Her thoughts came tumbling together, and she quickly lined them up to give Todd a clear response.
She"d tell him she agreed and thought this time in Maui would be perfect for them to get to know each other better than ever and to get closer and closer to each other. If he would make some kind of gesture or some kind of statement to Paula, then she would know he wasn"t interested in her games and he only wanted to spend time with Christy. Then all their difficulties would be cleared up.
Before she could tell him all that, he let go of her hand, sprang from his seat, and with a look of little-boy excitement he said, "That"s what I"ll do! I"ll just keep going, and I"ll ask G.o.d to show me which one to choose. It"ll get clearer the closer I get!"
He looked pleased, but Christy felt confused. She had thought the hidden message of the island lights was directed at her, when Todd really must have been thinking about a decision he was trying to make. But what decision?
"I"m turning in for the night," Bob called out to them, switching off the TV.
"I"m right behind you," Todd said.
He took one more glance over his shoulder at the lights and then offered a hand to Christy. She took it and wanted to pull him back to the chair so they could keep talking and living out her birthday wish. But Todd pulled her up to a standing position, and she could see more clearly in the soft light how pleased he was with his "lights on the island" a.n.a.logy.
"Man, I"m glad we saw those two lights. It really clears things up for me. Hey! Don"t forget your presents." Todd picked up the straw beach bag Mom had given her so she could fill it with the other gifts. "I"ll see you in the morning."
After Christy gathered her things, Todd disappeared into the room he shared with David. She walked back to the next door condo with a sunken heart.
Why was our magical time cut off so suddenly? It was like my birthday wish only came half true.
Paula and Mom were already asleep, so she quietly got ready for bed. While brushing her teeth, she remembered the conversation she"d had with herself in the mirror that morning.
What"s my problem? This has been an incredible birthday! The best I"ve ever had. How come I"m never happy with what I get? I got my wish, to be with Todd. I got a promise of a car and a surprise call from Rick. I just spent my sixteenth birthday in Hawaii, so why am I feeling so discontented?
She lay awake a long time that night, sorting out everything. What was Todd deciding? Were the two lights her and another girl? It couldn"t be Paula, could it? And why did he ask her about Rick? Would Todd object if she told him she was going out with Rick in August?
As far as Christy could see, all along she and Todd were free to go out with other people. Todd had taken another girl named Jasmine to dinner the night of his senior prom. Christy hadn"t ever really gone on a formal date with Todd, like out to dinner, since her parents didn"t allow her to date. Now that she was sixteen, finally she could date.
But what if Todd wanted to date only her? Then she couldn"t go out with Rick--or could she?
Todd would never ask her to go out with only him.
What if Rick wanted her to date only him? Then she couldn"t go out with Todd anymore.
The more she thought, the more complicated it all became. She decided her life was actually easier when she was younger, because she didn"t have to make all these decisions. She never did like making decisions!
In the darkness of her room, Christy felt her Forever bracelet and remembered the warm feeling she felt when Todd had held her hand and stroked the bracelet. That opened another string of questions.
Did that bracelet already mean they were going together?
Christy turned on her side and pulled the sheet up to her chin. What if her mom was right and some other guy was out there for her that she hadn"t even met yet?
An idea came to Christy, and she responded to it immediately. She jumped out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom with her purse. Closing the door softly, she turned on the light. She scrounged through her purse, looking for a piece of paper.
The first thing she found was the mysterious letter she"d never asked Paula about. Could it have been from Rick? No, he would have said something when he called her tonight. Besides, it looked like a girl"s handwriting. Christy left it on the bathroom counter so she would remember to ask Paula in the morning.
Then she pulled out her notepad. Christy had intended to write out her feelings, the way she often did in her diary. But now, sitting on the floor with her back against the bathroom wall, listening to the never-ending surf outside the bathroom window, she had a different idea.
She hesitated, chewing on the eraser and curling and uncurling her toes. Then she released her insecurities and let what she felt deep in her heart appear on paper.
Dear Future Husband, I turned sixteen today, and I know it may seem weird writing this to you now, but this letter is sort of my way of making a promise to you in writing.
Maybe I already know you, or maybe we haven"t met jet Either way, I want to save myself for you. I want my whole self my heart and body and everything, to be a present I"ll give you on our wedding day.
I don"t care how long it takes or how hard it gets, but I promise you I won"t let anybody else "unwrap" me so that on our wedding night I"ll be the kind of gift you"ll be happy to receive.
I know I have a lot of years ahead of me before we get married, whoever you are. That"s why I want to make this promise now, so that no matter who I go out with, I"ll always think of myself as a present I want to give to you alone one day.
I also promise to start praying for you, wherever you are, whoever you are, that G.o.d will be preparing you for me and that you"ll save all of yourself for me too.
I already love you.
Your future wife, Christina Juliet Miller "I tried to tell you!" Christy snapped back as Paula complained about her sunburn the next day. "You should"ve used sunscreen like everyone told you. Have you seen your lips? They look like they bubbled up overnight."
"So, are you Little Miss Perfect?" Paula sat on the edge of the bed, holding a damp washcloth on her chest and letting her words fly fast and furious. "You can"t tell me you"ve never been sunburned in your life! You know what your problem is, Christy? You think you"re so right about everything.
"You weren"t like this before you got your Christianity, or whatever you call it. You used to be fun to be around. Now you"re just a spoiled little brat who goes around condemning everyone because that person isn"t perfect, like you."
"I do not!"
"Yes, you do. You and your perfect little dream world. Who else writes letters to her future husband?" Her voice turned into a whine. "I"m saving my body for you, honey. It"s a perfect gift for you alone!"
Christy sprang from her bed and rescued her notepad, which she had left on the bathroom counter and Paula had obviously found this morning.
Wagging the notepad in front of Paula, she warned, "That was really rude, Paula! Stop being such a big snoop, and leave my stuff alone."
"Hey, hey!" Mom broke up the confrontation. "What"s going on here?"
Neither of them spoke. Their eyes flashed the remainder of their angry messages back and forth where Mom couldn"t see.
Mom looked first at Christy, then at Paula, and with a calm, motherly voice said, "I suppose this was bound to happen. You two always were more like sisters than friends. Why don"t you each try giving the other some s.p.a.ce this morning, okay?"
"Fine with me," Paula said firmly.
Mom took a good look at Paula. "You must stay out of the sun today. You overdid it yesterday, and you"ll make yourself sick. Now you two settle your differences, and give each other some s.p.a.ce."
Mom folded her arms and waited for them to respond.
"Sorry," Christy offered meekly.
"Sorry." Paula mumbled the expected word like a young schoolgirl.
Satisfied, Mom walked away. Christy held up the notepad to Paula and whispered between her teeth, "Stay out of my stuff."
"Don"t leave your stuff lying around."
Christy grabbed her clothes and marched off to the bathroom to change. As soon as she soundly shut the door, the accusations came at her for being such a horrible Christian and a poor example of a best friend. She was supposed to be witnessing to Paula, not alienating her!
The guilt feelings hung on her all day. She went swimming in the pool and then in the ocean with David until about noon. Then without interrupting Paula, who had set up her own little camp on the couch, where she spent the day watching TV, Christy showered and changed and joined Mom and Marti for lunch in Lahaina.
They meandered through shop after shop along Front Street and ended up at an open-air restaurant, where they ate salads at a table right by the water.
Mom and Marti chattered about all the boats they could see in Lahaina Harbor. Then they started in about some uncle Christy didn"t even know who had had his gallbladder removed.
Christy tuned them out and watched the dozens of tiny crabs skittering across the rocks below them. The afternoon was kind of dreamy and the setting like something from a movie.
While shopping Christy had enjoyed the brightly colored tropical birds they had seen pacing up and down their perches like a pirate"s first mate. And she loved the plumeria trees down by the little public library. They filled the hot afternoon air with a heavy, sweet fragrance.
However, it didn"t matter how charming the town was or how exotic the afternoon air smelled. She felt miserable.
"It seems like a cruel joke," she whispered to the uncaring crabs over the railing, "to be here with Todd and Paula-two people I consider my friends-and to feel so lonely. I know Todd had to paint today, and he didn"t go surfing this morning, so I wasn"t able to spend any time with him. But I want to find out what he was talking about last night. What was he trying to decide?
"As far as Paula goes, I wish she"d never come. I wish she"d stayed in Wisconsin, and we could let our childhood memories be the way we think of each other. We"ve both changed too much to try to be friends now. I wish Katie had come instead of Paula."
"Ready for some more shopping?" Marti asked, breaking into Christy"s grumbling monologue.
"I guess so."
"Don"t you need to get a few more gifts for your friends?" Marti prompted.
"Yeah, I"d like to find something to take back to Katie."
"It"s too bad Paula couldn"t have come shopping with us," Marti said, counting out the dollar bills she planned to leave as a tip.
"She needed a day to catch her breath," Mom said. "What with the jet lag, time change, and horrible sunburn, I think she needed a day of complete rest."
"Whatever you find for Katie, why don"t you get the same thing for Paula?" Marti suggested.
Christy didn"t want to. She didn"t want to do Paula any favors. After all, Paula hadn"t done any for her.
She ended up buying a white sh.e.l.l bracelet for Paula at the very first shop they stopped in. Actually, Marti bought it. She picked it out too. To keep Marti happy, Christy agreed that Katie wasn"t a bracelet kind of person, but Paula would probably be thrilled with it. So Marti bought it, and Christy hoped that would be the end of that.
A few shops later, Christy found a University of Hawaii T-shirt for Katie. Marti insisted on buying three of them so Paula, Katie, and Christy could all match. Christy agreed as long as she could pick out three different colors, which she did, reserving the light blue one for herself.
For fun, she also bought a gra.s.s hula skirt to take back to Katie.
With hands full of shopping bags, they headed back to where they"d parked the van. They pa.s.sed an old, two-story white house with green trim and a sign in front that said, "Missionary Home of the Rev. Dwight Baldwin, 1834, Museum Open Daily."
"Could we go in there?" Christy asked.
"It"s only an old house turned into a museum," Marti said. "Missionaries built it when they first came here. I don"t think you"d find it very interesting, Christy."
"Yes, I would. It looks like a neat house. I"d like to go on the tour."
"So would I," Mom said.
For some reason, Marti looked annoyed.
"Go ahead. You have to pay for the tour; it"s not free." The way she said it, Christy thought it must be a huge fee. "I"ll wait here on the bench."
Mom and Christy paid their admission fee of a few dollars.
You are so funny, Aunt Marti. You left more money than this on the table for a tip!