"Are you going to be okay seeing Michael tomorrow?" Christy asked cautiously. "I mean, he"s in your government cla.s.s, right?"
"I"ll be okay. I think. I don"t know. I don"t want to think about it. I don"t trust any of my emotions at this point. I wanted to tell you, though, that being with you guys this weekend really helped. I had a great time. Doug went above and beyond the call of duty in helping me feel better. He"s a great guy. I think he should be a counselor."
"Well, if it gets rough this week, I"m here for you."
"Thanks, Christy." Katie snapped another chip. "Do you know what"s weird? I feel like while I was with Michael I was in a time warp. I"m outside of it now, so I feel normal. But when I was with him, being in his world seemed normal. Does that make sense?"
"Sort of."
"The thing is, I don"t think I did anything wrong. I mean, I know I didn"t do anything wrong morally. Michael"s standards were just as high as mine. That wasn"t really a problem. Who knows? It might have been a problem eventually if we had gone together longer. You want some chips?"
"No, thanks." Christy licked the last Twinkie crumbs from her lips and urged Katie to keep talking while she kept her eyes on the road.
"Do you think it"s possible that it was really G.o.d"s will I go out with him just to tell him about the Lord, even though Michael didn"t make a commitment to Christ? At least now he"s heard. Maybe I was the only one G.o.d could use to tell him."
"Maybe," Christy said cautiously.
"And maybe he"ll become a Christian soon, and we"ll get back together." Katie turned in her seat to face Christy and wiggled to get comfortable in her seat belt. "Maybe the whole reason we broke up was to force him to look at the Lord without me there to bug him about it."
"Maybe."
"I don"t know," Katie said. "I don"t know what I think. All I know is that when I first started going out with him, I knew somewhere deep inside my heart that it wasn"t right. But I didn"t think we would be together for very long, and I knew I wasn"t going to do anything wrong. What would it hurt? Then one date turned into two, and then three, and well, you know the rest."
Katie crumpled up the empty bag of chips and tossed it in the sack, rummaging around for a bag of candy. "So my question is, did I do anything wrong by dating a guy who"s not a Christian? Everyone always tells us not to, but sometimes it"s okay, isn"t it? Like when it"s just a short time and n.o.body gets really hurt. I mean, I came out of this whole relationship fine. Sure, I still hurt a little, but I think I"m going to be okay. I"m a better person. I obeyed G.o.d when He told me to break up. It was okay this one time, wasn"t it?"
Christy had strong opinions about only dating Christians, and she and Katie had talked about it before. Of course, as Katie had pointed out, it was easy for Christy to say that when she was dating Todd. But it was a lot harder to say those same things when no decent Christian guys were around.
"I think the guideline exists for a reason," Christy said.
"Right, I know. So you won"t marry a nonbeliever and end up unequally yoked. But don"t you think it"s okay if it"s for a short time and n.o.body gets hurt? Just a friendship. Don"t you think that stuff about not dating unbelievers is totally, grossly overemphasized?"
Christy tried to think of a way to tell Katie what she thought yet somehow tone it down so it didn"t come out as intensely as she felt it. Suddenly a peculiar a.n.a.logy came to her. "Actually, Katie, I guess with Michael you lucked out. It would have been different if the officer didn"t have another call or if we"d actually gotten in an accident."
"What are you talking about? Are we having the same conversation here?"
"You know, all that talk about wearing your seat belt is grossly overemphasized. You"re not planning to get in an accident. You guys only went out for a little while. Still, I"d say you lucked out."
"Are you talking about my dating Michael or my taking off my seat belt?"
"Both."
Katie let the full meaning of the a.n.a.logy sink in. "Oh" was all she said.
Christy immediately felt bad. "I"m sorry, Katie. I shouldn"t have said that. That was judgmental of me. You"re right. I was too self-righteous and judgmental the whole time you were dating, and that wasn"t right."
"No, you don"t have to apologize. I deserve all your words and more. I live too much on the edge. I take off my seat belt and think it"s okay as long as I don"t get caught. I become involved emotionally with a guy who"s not a Christian and think it"s okay just because we"re not going beyond my standards." Katie took a deep breath. She rested her bag of M&M"s on her lap. "But you"re right, Christy. There"s a higher level of accountability that"s not based on whether or not you get caught."
Katie crumpled the candy bag and stuffed it back in the sack. Sitting up straight, she made a declaration. "Hear ye, hear ye. From this day forward, the new, improved Katie is going to strive for integrity in all things. Even in what I eat. That"s probably the best thing that came out of my relationship with Michael, an appreciation for healthy food. I"m going to go back to eating right. And I"m going to keep exercising regularly and start reading my Bible every day, and I am not going to gossip ever again."
They were now approaching the interchange with the freeway that would take them back to Escondido. Christy signaled in plenty of time, got in the right lane, and followed the curve in the road up, over, and onto Interstate 78. She needed to concentrate on changing lanes, so she held back from responding to Katie until they were securely in the middle lane.
"You"re a good influence on me," Katie said. "You do everything right."
"No, I don"t."
"Yes, you do. You"re much more conscientious than I am. Much more concerned about doing the right thing."
"I don"t do the right thing any more often than you do."
"Oh, yes you do. You have a certain quality. Anyone can see it by just looking at your face. You"re without guile, Christy."
"Whatever that means. It sounds like a curse," Christy said with a laugh.
"Not at all." Katie shook her head. "I"d say it"s a blessing. Just look at your life. Everything is perfect. You"ve never hit a wall with G.o.d. I mean, what"s the worst thing that could ever happen to you?"
"I don"t know. I guess my parents could die."
"Then you"d go live with Bob and Marti and be pampered to death. And the only other awful thing would be if Todd broke up with you."
There was a moment of jaw-clenching silence.
Then Katie said, "But that would never happen. Don"t you see? You are living with the reward of having your relationships according to G.o.d"s way and in His time. I want that kind of blessing on my life too."
Christy wasn"t sure it all worked as neatly as Katie claimed.
It was the fastest week on record, Christy was sure. She couldn"t believe it was Friday already. She was driving to the pet store after school, but she wished she was going home instead. She could use a nap.
Every night that week Christy had stayed up until after eleven studying. The worst part was, everyone said it would be like this for another three weeks until finals. She didn"t think she could keep up the pace. But she had no choice. What kept her going was knowing that Todd would come up tomorrow.
"Wonderful," Christy spoke into the stillness of the car. "No, marvelous. No. no, no. Delicious. Fantastic. Unbelievably terrific!"
No, that"s still not it, she insisted. How can I describe what I"m feeling? How do I put my thoughts about Todd into words? It"s too good to be true. This must be love. But how do I describe it?
As Christy parked her car and took quick steps into the mall, she realized that her problem was a common one. What was it her English teacher had said last year? Through all the generations, poets, composers, and artists have tried to describe love. Yet no one has completely captured it, so the world is still full of poets, composers, and artists who continue in the footsteps of their forefathers, attempting to portray love, yet never with complete success.
"Hi, Jon," Christy said, taking her position behind the cash register.
"Hi. I"ve been meaning to ask you how your bunny is."
Christy thought Jon said "honey." It seemed strange that he would ask about Todd that way.
"He"s fine. I"m going to see him tomorrow."
Jon gave her a puzzled look. "Has he been eating well?"
Christy laughed. "Of course. He eats all the time. Why do you ask?"
"No reason. It"s just that if they"re not feeling well, they tend to stop eating. What about spending time with him? You still hold him a lot, don"t you? Give him lots of snuggles and love?"
Now Christy really laughed, only it was an embarra.s.sed laugh. She glanced around to make sure no customers in the store could hear their conversation.
"Yes, I give him lots of snuggles. Why in the world are you asking?"
"Because I know how easy it is to end up neglecting the little guy when you"re not around him all the time."
"The little guy?"
"Don"t your parents make you keep him in the garage?"
"In the garage?" Christy questioned.
"Isn"t that where Hershey"s cage is? In the garage? You know. Hershey, the rabbit I gave you a couple of months ago."
"Oh, Hershey! Yes, his cage is in the garage." Christy tried to stifle her laughter.
"Why? Who did you think I was talking about?"
"Never mind," Christy said, grateful and relieved that a customer had stepped in front of Jon and placed an aquarium filter on the counter.
Christy smiled at the woman. "How are you today?"
"Fine, thanks. Is this one on sale?"
"Yes," Christy said, double-checking the price sticker. "This one is 20 percent off."
"Yeah, well, it"s not the only one," Jon said loud enough for Christy to hear.
She shot him a quick glance and then focused back on the customer. "That"s fifteen cents change for you." Christy placed a dime and a nickel in the woman"s open palm and handed her the bag. "Thanks a lot. Have a nice afternoon."
The woman smiled and left. Another customer stepped up to the counter. Christy went through the process of scanning the merchandise, ringing it up on the cash register, and making change. She had done this so many times that she could almost do it in her sleep, which was a good thing. She was incredibly tired. She had a hard time staying alert until closing at nine.
"You look like you"re all ready to go," Jon commented as Christy began to pull down the metal cage door that closed the pet store off from the rest of the mall. "We still have two more minutes."
"Do you want me to put the door back up?"
"No, that"s fine. You go ahead and leave. You look beat. I"ll close up."
"Preparing for finals," Christy offered by way of explanation. "Get used to this walking-in-my-sleep look. I"ll probably be like this for the next few weeks."
"Do you want to take some time off? I have a new guy starting next Wednesday, and he was asking for more hours than I could give him. It would just be until you want the hours back," Jon said.
"I"d miss the money, but it sure would help right now." Christy thought a moment and then said, "You know, if it would be okay, I could use the next few weekends off. Maybe the next three?" In the back of her mind she was trying to calculate when the prom was. She wanted to be prepared in case she and Todd decided to go. It was almost too late to buy tickets, but she wanted to leave every door open.
"Okay," Jon said, reaching for the clipboard behind the register. "Let"s say you work tomorrow and then again on Friday a month from now. Is that too much time off?"
"It sounds like a lot."
"It"s up to you."
"I think it"s fine. Go ahead and give the other guy my hours. I need to make it through this next intense month of school. Thanks for being so understanding, Jon."
"It"s part of my managerial role. Besides, who says I"m too old to remember how stressful the end of your senior year can be? You take it easy. And try to get some sleep, okay?"
"I will. Thanks, Jon. See you tomorrow morning."
Christy barely remembered her head hitting the pillow that night. On Sat.u.r.day morning her mom came in to wake her up at 10:15.
"Christy? Time to get up, honey. You need to leave for work in half an hour."
"Ohhhh." Christy groaned. "My head is pounding."
"Are you feeling all right?"
"My throat is swollen. I feel awful!"
Mom placed her cool hand on Christy"s cheek. "Feels like you"re running a temperature. When did this start?"
"I was tired yesterday." Christy swallowed. It felt like she had a wad of gum stuck in her throat. "My throat didn"t hurt though. And I didn"t ache this much either."
"I think you"d better stay in bed. Do you want me to call work for you?"
"I guess." Christy groaned. "Tell Jon I"m going to sleep some more, and if I feel better, I"ll work this afternoon."
Mom left the room, and Christy rolled over and kicked off her sheets. She felt as though she was burning up. She could hear her pulse pounding in her inner ear.
What happened to me? I feel awful.
"Okay," Mom said a few minutes later, entering Christy"s room. "Jon said he doesn"t want you to come in at all. He has someone to cover your hours, and he didn"t want you to bring any flu bugs into work."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Jon also told me about your arrangement to take time off for the next few weeks. I think that was wise of you. Perhaps you should have started sooner. Do you feel like taking a bath? That would be the best thing for the aches."
"I guess," Christy said feebly. Ever since she was a child she was used to special treatment when she got sick. Her mom seemed like a natural nurse, bringing Christy juice, taking her temperature, and scanning the vitamin book to find a natural cure for every ailment. It was easy for Christy to surrender to her mom"s babying.
"I"ll go run the water in the tub."
Christy slowly sat up in bed. The room felt as if it were spinning. Today reminded her of one of her greatest fears: One day she would be mature and self-sufficient, living in a college dorm room or an apartment. She would come down with some kind of killer flu, and she wouldn"t have her mom to take care of her.
Standing on wobbly feet and inching her way across the carpeted floor, Christy shuffled to the bathroom, where Mom had already placed a tray with ice water in a gla.s.s with a straw, several vitamins, and two aspirins on a napkin. Christy noticed an unpleasant fragrance rising from the steaming tub.
"I"ve put some apple cider vinegar in the water," Mom said. "The book said it helps to draw out the toxins. Soak in there for at least twenty minutes, okay?"
"You"re starting to sound like Katie." Christy realized that it hurt her throat to talk. She twisted her hair up on top of her head and secured it with a clip.
"I"m going to change the sheets on your bed and air your room out." Mom closed the bathroom door. Christy could hear her humming as she went about her nursing tasks.
Gingerly lowering herself into the stinky, steaming water, Christy closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to get sick if she was Katie"s roommate. She could picture Katie popping her head into Christy"s room and saying, "Oh, you"re sick? Well, don"t worry about answering the phone. I"ll put the machine on. There"s some leftover Chinese takeout from a couple days ago. I won"t be back until late tonight, so don"t bother to wait up for me."