"You don"t have to wait for your prince," Tracy said with temperate, steady words.
"What do you mean?" Christy asked.
Tracy looked at her with disbelief. "You know, Doug? That prince-type of a guy? Your knight on a white steed has already arrived."
"Oh, yeah." Christy felt embarra.s.sed and surprised that she hadn"t even been thinking about Doug. "I meant, you know, some princess long ago. I wasn"t thinking about you and me and our princes."
The minute the words were out, Christy wished she could reel them back in. There was no prince in Tracy"s life. There hadn"t been for a long time.
Christy decided to probe a little. "How are things in the prince department for you. anyhow? Did anything ever work out with that guy from college you mentioned at Christmas?"
"No, that fizzled."
"So there"s n.o.body you"re interested in?" Christy asked.
Tracy paused. By the expression on her heart-shaped face, Christy could tell she was carefully pondering her answer. Tracy couldn"t lie. She always told the truth, which made it difficult for her when she was cornered with a question.
"I didn"t say there"s n.o.body I"m interested in. However, I"ve learned over my vast years of experience that it simply works better when he"s interested in me as well."
"Wait a minute," Christy said. "I distinctly remember having this same sort of conversation with you once before. Don"t you remember? We were making cookies at my aunt and uncle"s house. You liked somebody then, but you wouldn"t tell me who it was."
If Tracy did remember the conversation, she didn"t appear to be willing to comment on it or on her current interest.
Christy prodded her along. "Don"t you remember that afternoon at my aunt and uncle"s? You didn"t tell me then, but I figured out later that you liked Doug."
Tracy nodded.
"Can you believe you guys used to go out?" Christy asked. "Doesn"t that seem like a lifetime ago?"
Tracy"s expression changed a little. "I guess it does. That was more than three years ago, and we only dated for a few months."
"Why did you guys break up?"
Now Tracy paused longer. "What has Doug told you?"
"Nothing. We"ve never talked about it."
"Maybe it"s best we leave it that way."
"You know," Christy said after a pause, "this thing Doug has about how he"s never kissed a girl and how his first kiss will be at the altar on his wedding day? Well, it"s made our relationship different because I don"t wonder about his past girlfriends or what went on with them. It"s really freeing. He"s never kissed me, and that takes all the pressure off. I don"t wonder if he"s going to or not. Do you know what I mean? Of course you know what I mean."
Tracy looked out the window, seemingly lost in thought. "Um-hmm," she agreed.
"It"s just different," Christy said. "It makes it easy for us to all be friends."
"Um-hmm," Tracy agreed again.
The two friends sat together silently, each lost in her own world of thoughts and dreams.
Sunday morning chruch service was in the chapel. The mission director. Charles Benson, introduced the group doing the music. "And now. Undivided will lead in morning worship."
The name struck Christy as ironic. Tracy and Katie had not yet talked, and in their room this morning it was obvious the tension was growing. Now at the morning service, Christy sat next to Tracy while Katie was on the other side of the chapel with two of the guys from their team. Sierra sat on the other side of Christy, and Doug was on the end of the aisle, next to Tracy. Their team was quickly becoming anything but undivided.
The tension made it hard for Christy to concentrate as they sang and even harder to take the message for herself. Everything seemed to apply to Katie, not her.
Dr. Benson spoke on John 17- "Did you know that Christ aclually prayed for us? Look at verse 21. Here Christ prayed that we might be one, just as He and the Father are one. This is usually the biggest challenge for ministry teams. Each of you is coming from a different background, with different opinions and points of view. It"s not easy to be one. One heart. One mind. One undivided team."
Christy thought Dr. Benson must know what was going on with their team, even though he seemed to speak to the whole group. He then talked about forgiveness and starting over. He urged the teams to learn how to exercise grace and peace.
It made Christy think of the inscription she"d written in her diary on the train. Grace and peace and what was that word for harmony? Concord. That"s what they needed. Grace, peace, and concord. At this moment it seemed impossible.
"I"m going to ask you to do something you may never have done before," Dr. Benson said. "We"re going to take communion this morning, and we need to come before G.o.d with clean hearts. Some of you need to be reconciled with your brothers and sisters in this room. Before we serve communion, we will have ten minutes in which, if you need to ask someone for forgiveness, you should do so. It would be utterly false to take part in communion and then be commissioned for your outreach trips if any of you is harboring unforgiveness in your heart."
Christy closed her eyes and searched her heart. She wanted to make sure she was right with G.o.d in every way. Plenty of small things needed to be confessed, things between her and G.o.d. But she didn"t think she needed to go to anyone and ask forgiveness.
As Christy silently prayed, she heard Katie"s voice behind her saying, "Tracy, could I talk to you for a minute?"
Tracy slipped past Doug, and Christy peeked to see the two of them walk to the back of the chapel and speak quietly with each other. She wanted to listen in. She felt thrilled the two of them were patching things up.
Just then Doug slid over on the pew next to Christy and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Christy, will you please forgive me?"
She was caught off guard. "For what?" she whispered back.
Doug hesitated and seemed to have a hard time finding the words. "I haven"t been, well, I guess I haven"t been honoring you the way I should."
Christy wasn"t sure what he meant. She looked up at his face for a clue. He looked distraught about something. "Of course I forgive you. Have I done anything that"s bothered you?"
"No, no. Of course not." Doug looked relieved. He smiled at her and said, "Life can get complicated sometimes, can"t it?"
Christy nodded and returned the smile he was giving her, even though she still wasn"t sure what he was talking about. Perhaps he meant complicated with Tracy and Katie, and he felt he should have been more understanding of Christy since she was caught in the middle. Whatever the situation was, it didn"t matter.
Tracy and Katie were returning to the pew now, both teary-eyed and with humble expressions. Doug scooted over closer to Christy to make room for the two of them on the end of the bench. Christy let out a tiny sigh of relief and bowed her head, waiting for the communion to be served.
It was the most meaningful communion she had ever partic.i.p.ated in. After that, they all stood, and the mission director and several staff members prayed for the forty and commissioned them to go forth on their outreaches next Sat.u.r.day. When the service was over. Doug asked that their team stick around for a few minutes. Once they were all together, he asked if anyone had anything he or she wanted to say. It seemed as if they were all trying not to look at Katie, or at least to wait until she said something before they looked at her.
"I need to apologize to all of you guys," Katie said.
All eyes quickly focused on her. "I"ve learned a lot these past few days, and G.o.d has been teaching me some stuff I didn"t want to learn. I"ve been trying to hold on to a lot of things. It"s like I had this fistful of stuff I didn"t want to give to G.o.d. and He"s been patiently trying to pry back each of my fingers to get the garbage out of there." Katie held out her hand and demonstrated G.o.d"s imaginary hand pulling at her clenched fingers.
"All I can say is that I"d like to start over, with a new att.i.tude of being open to G.o.d and open to you guys. Tracy has forgiven me, and now I want to say to the rest of you, I"m sorry I"ve been such a jerk. I hope you guys can all forgive me too."
A chorus of yeses responded to Katie.
"You"re among friends, Katie," Sierra said. "It"s never too late to start over." She gave Katie a hug, and the rest of the group followed.
"I think we should pray," Doug said. "Let"s pray right now that our team will be knit together in love, like Dr. Benson was saying. We need to be of one mind and heart."
They all prayed. It was as if a huge breath of fresh air blew over them. They left the chapel with arms around each other, laughing and high-stepping their way to the dining room. Christy tried not to think about Doug"s comment. It was past. Over. She had forgiven him-for whatever it was.
That afternoon they had four hours of free time, and Christy thought it would be fun to go for a long walk with Doug. She sidled up to him after their meal time. He was talking with Tracy, and Christy asked if either or both of them wanted to go for a walk with her.
"Maybe a little bit later," Doug said. "Tracy and I need to work on our music for the outreach."
"You guys could go now if you want to, Doug," Tracy said quickly. "We can practice another time."
It was silent for an awkward minute before Christy said, "No. that"s fine. You guys don"t have much time to practice. We can go for a walk later. It doesn"t matter, really."
Doug turned to face Christy and looked into her eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Of course, I"m sure. You guys need time to practice. Have fun. okay?" Christy said sincerely. Then she willingly received Doug"s hug.
"I"ll come looking for you later." he said.
"Okay." Now Christy wasn"t sure what to do. She wanted to go for a walk by herself, yet she thought a nap sounded good. What she didn"t want to do was feel sorry for herself. Not after that communion service and the way the team had started to come together.
She decided to go to her room and headed down the hallway. The sound of laughter drew her into the great drawing room. Some of the Barcelona team was gathered around the huge marble fireplace, where a great orange fire crackled and warmed the whole room.
Merja spotted Christy and called her over to their group. "We need one more player. Will you be on our team?"
Spread before them on the low coffee table was some sort of word game Christy had seen before but had never played. Joining a group of laughing friends seemed much more appealing than the quiet, close quarters of the chilly dorm room.
"Sure, but I"ve never played this before." Christy wedged in on the rug next to Merja and tucked her long legs underneath her. Merja made quick introductions of the other players. Christy was teamed up with Merja and another girl from Finland named Satu. She said her name in English meant "fairy tale," and then she burst out laughing.
"It really does," Satu said. "No one here believes me."
"I believe you," Christy said.
"And what does your name mean?" Satu asked Christy.
"It means *follower of Christ.""
"How perfect!" Satu flipped her long blond hair behind her right ear and said, "I"m glad to have an American to play this English game with. English is really my fourth language, and it is not my best."
"What other languages do you speak?" Christy asked.
"Finnish, Spanish, Italian, and then English. I know some Russian and some German, but not much." Satu didn"t throw her list out in a bragging way. She almost seemed to apologize that her English wasn"t better. To Christy"s ear it sounded perfect.
The game began, and within five minutes, Christy was laughing so hard the tears were skipping down her cheeks. It was the lirst time she had laughed that hard since she left home. There had been some funny moments in London, but the tension and exhaustion had made the first four or five days of this trip strained. For the next few hours, she. Merja, Satu, and the others laughed. It was like medicine.
She didn"t see Doug again until the evening meal. Christy was sitting next to Satu when Doug and Tracy walked in. She waved at them, but they didn"t seem to notice her and slipped into two open seats at a table by the door. After dinner a prayer and praise meeting was held in the chapel. It lasted for nearly two hours, with singing and praying. Christy loved it, but now this growing mysterious feeling about Doug was really bothering her.
After the evening worship, their team went as a group to the dining room for cake and hot chocolate. Doug was standing next to Sierra with a cup of cocoa in his hand when Christy decided it was time to get his attention.
"Could I talk to you a minute, Doug?" she asked, surprised that her voice came out shaky.
"Sure." He turned his full attention to her, looking surprised at her expression. "Is something wrong?"
"May I have your attention, please?" Dr. Benson stood in the doorway. "The hour draws to a close, and you need to be in your rooms in ten minutes."
A group groan leaked out across the room.
"I know, I know," the good-natured Dr. Benson said. "But good soldiers are disciplined, and this is your opportunity to exercise that discipline. Tomorrow is a full day, starting with breakfast at seven-thirty. I need to see all the team leaders for a moment in the hallway. May you all experience the truth of Proverbs 3:24: When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." Good night. See you all in the morning."
"We"ll talk tomorrow, okay?" Doug placed his cup down on the table and made his way to the hallway to meet with the other team leaders.
Christy swallowed her disappointment and walked up the stairs to their room with Sierra by her side. She hated it when these clouds of moodiness hovered over her like the morning mist on the fields outside her castle window. She tried to shake off her thoughts and pay attention to what Sierra was saying.
"Doesn"t it seem like we"ve been here months and months instead of only a few days?"
"Sort of," Christy answered.
Sierra kept up the friendly chatter even after they were ready for bed. She wrapped herself up in her blanket and curled up at the foot of Christy"s bed while the other girls finished their bedtime preparations. It was fun getting to know Sierra. Christy liked her more each day and was glad they were on the same team.
Katie wrapped herself in a blanket and joined them. laughing as she tried to repeat a joke one of the guys from Sweden had told her at dinner. Tracy crawled into her bed, which was directly across from Christy"s, and listened in on the conversation.
"I don"t get it," Tracy said when Katie finished the joke and laughed joyfully.
Katie repeated the punch line. "She come on a Honda."
Still none of them laughed.
"I guess it was one of those you-had-to-be-there kind of jokes. Leo is really hilarious. I wish he was on our team."
"I think our team is perfect," Sierra said. "Or were you hoping for guys who were a bit more promising as future spouse material?"
Christy liked being all curled up with her friends and having a "boy talk." It felt like a slumber party from her high school days. It was especially good to see Katie back to her old self, relaxed and getting along with everyone.
"Our guys are pretty cool," Katie said. "They"re kind of quiet though. I like guys who are a bit more on the rowdy side."
"Not me," Tracy said. "I prefer the strong, leader type. You know, the kind of guy who tries to make everyone feel welcome and who doesn"t draw a lot of attention to himself."
"That sounds like Doug," Sierra said, brushing back a wild curl of hair that had fallen onto her forehead. "Come to think of it, you and Doug would make a perfect couple. Why aren"t you going after Doug?"
Katie, Tracy, and Christy greeted the question with silence. "What? What did I say? Is there something wrong with Doug? I think he"s a great guy. You two would be good together with your personalities, your gifts, your interests. You wouid make a cute couple. What"s wrong with that?"
"There"s only one slight problem." Katie volunteered. "Doug happens to be Christy"s boyfriend."
"You"re kidding," Sierra said, scanning Christy"s face for verification.
Christy didn"t say anything. She bit her lower lip. How should she respond?
"I"m sorry," Sierra said quickly. "I just never would have guessed. And maybe that"s a good thing. You guys don"t exclude anyone else. You act like friends, and he seems to treat you the same way he does the other girls, and well... I just didn"t know."
"The three of us are all good friends," Katie explained. "We"ve known each other a long time, and Doug did go out with Tracy for a while, but that was a long time ago, right, Tracy?"
Tracy nodded.
"See. Christy used to go out with this surfer named Todd. You know the type-tall, blond, blue-eyed, incredibly strong Christian," Katie said.