Not that I wish to leave this world. While G.o.d wills we should stay here, and is with us, is it not home-like enough for us?
_May_, 1513.
This morning I was busy making a favourite pudding of the father"s, when I heard Herr Reichenbach"s voice at the door. He went into the dwelling room, and soon afterwards Chriemhild, Atlantis, and Thekla, invaded the kitchen.
"Herr Reichenbach wishes to have a consultation," said Chriemhild, "and we are sent away."
I felt anxious for a moment. It seemed like the old Eisenach days; but since we have been at Wittemberg we have never gone into debt; so that, after thinking a little, I was rea.s.sured. The children were full of speculations what it would be about. Chriemhild thought it was some affair of state, because she had seen him in close confabulation with Ulrich von Gersdorf as he came up the street, and they had probably been discussing some question about the privileges of the n.o.bles and burghers.
Atlantis believed it had something to do with Dr. Martin Luther, because Herr Reichenbach had presented the mother with a new pamphlet of the Doctor"s on entering the room.
Thekla was sure it was at last the opportunity to make use of one of the father"s discoveries,--whether the perpetual clock, or the trans.m.u.tation of metals, or the steam-pump, she could not tell; but she was persuaded that it was something which was to make our fortunes at last, because Herr Reichenbach looked so very much in earnest, and was so very respectful to our father.
They had not much time to discuss their various theories when we heard Herr Reichenbach"s step pa.s.s hurriedly through the pa.s.sage, and the door closed hastily after him.
"Do you call that a consultation?" said Chriemhild, scornfully; "he has not been here ten minutes."
The next instant our mother appeared, looking very pale, and with her voice trembling as she said,--
"Else, my child, we want you."
"You are to know first, Else," said the children. "Well, it is only fair; you are a dear good eldest sister, and will be sure to tell us."
I scarcely knew why, but my fingers did not seem as much under control as usual, and it was some moments before I could put the finishing stroke to my pudding, wash my hands, pull down the white sleeves to my wrists, and join them in the dwelling room, so that my mother reappeared with an impatience very unusual for her, and led me in herself.
"Else, darling, come here," said my father. And when he felt my hands in his, he added, "Herr Reichenbach left a message for thee. Other parents often decide these matters for their children, but thy mother and I wish to leave the matter to thee.--Couldst thou be his wife?"
The question took me by surprise, and I could only say,--
"Can it be possible he thinks of me?"
"I see nothing impossible in that, my Else," said my father; "but at all events Herr Reichenbach has placed that beyond a doubt. The question now is whether our Else can think of him."
I could not say anything.
"Think well before you reject him," said my father; "he is a good and generous man, he desires no portion with thee; he says thou wouldst be a portion for a king; and I must say he is very intelligent and well-informed, and can appreciate scientific inventions as few men in these days can."
"I do not wish him to be dismissed," I faltered.
But my tender-hearted mother said, laying my head on her shoulder,--
"Yet think well, darling, before you accept him. We are not poor now, and we need no stranger"s wealth to make us happy. Heaven forbid that our child should sacrifice herself for us. Herr Reichenbach, is, no doubt, a good and wise man, but I know well a young maiden"s fancy. He is little, I know--not tall and stalwart, like our Fritz and Christopher; and he is a little bald, and he is not very young, and rather grave and silent, and young girls--"
"But, mother," I said, "I am not a young girl, I am six-and-twenty; and I do not think Herr Reichenbach old, and I never noticed that he was bald, and I am sure to me he is not silent."
"That will do, Else," said the grandmother, laughing from her corner by the stove. "Son and daughter, let these two settle it together. They will arrange matters better than we shall for them."
And in the evening Herr Reichenbach came again, and everything was arranged.
"And that is what the consultation was about!" said the children, not without some disappointment. "It seems such an ordinary thing," said Atlantis, "we are so used to seeing Herr Reichenbach. He comes almost every day."
"I do not see that that is any objection," said Chriemhild; "but it seems hardly like being married, only just to cross the street. His house is just opposite."
"But it is a great deal prettier than ours," said Thekla. "I like Herr Reichenbach; no one ever took such an interest in my drawings as he does. He tells me where they are wrong, and shows me how to make them right, as if he really felt it of some consequence; which it is, you know, Else, because one day I mean to embroider and help the family, like you. And no one was ever so kind to Nix as he is. He took the dog on his knee the other day, and drew out a splinter which had lamed him, which Nix would not let any one else do but me. Nix is very fond of Herr Reichenbach, and so am I. He is much wiser, I think, than Ulrich, who teases Nix, and pretends never to know my cats from my cows; and I do not see that he is much older; besides, I could not bear our Else to live a step further off."
And Thekla climbed up on my lap and kissed me, while Nix stood on his hind legs and barked, evidently thinking it was a great occasion. So that two of the family at least have given their consent.
But none of the family know yet what Herr Reichenbach said to me when we stood for a few minutes by the window, before he left this evening. He said--
"Else, it is G.o.d who gives me this joy. Ever since the evening when you all arrived at Wittemberg, and I saw you tenderly helping the aged and directing the young ones, and never flurried in all the bustle, but always at leisure to thank any one for any little kindness, or to help any one out of any little difficulty, I thought you were the light of this home, and I prayed G.o.d one day to make you the light of mine."
Ah! that shows how love veils people"s faults; but he did not know Fritz, and not much of Eva. They were the true sunshine of our home.
However, at all events, with G.o.d"s help, I will do my very best to make Herr Reichenbach"s home bright.
But the best of all is, I am not afraid to accept this blessing. I believe it is G.o.d, out of his inexpressible love, as Dr. Luther says, who has given it me, and I am not afraid He will think me too happy.
Before I had Dr. Luther for my confessor, I should never have known if it was to be a blessing or a curse; but now I am not afraid. A chain seems to have dropped from my heart, and a veil from my eyes, and I can call G.o.d Father, and take everything fearlessly from him.
And I know Gottfried feels the same. Since I never had a vocation for the higher religious life, it is an especial mercy for me to have found a religion which enables a very poor every-day maiden in the world to love G.o.d and to seek his blessing.
_June._
Our mother has been full of little tender apologies to me this week, for having called Gottfried (Herr Reichenbach says I am to call him so) old, and bald, and little, and grave.
"You know, darling, I only meant I did not want you to accept him for our sakes. And after all, as you say, he is scarcely bald; and they say all men who think much lose their hair early; and I am sure it is no advantage to be always talking; and every one cannot be as tall as our Fritz and Christopher."
"And after all, dear mother," said the grandmother, "Else did _not_ choose Herr Reichenbach for your sakes; but are you quite sure he did not choose Else for her father"s sake? He was always so interested in the steam-pump!"
My mother and I are much cheered by seeing the quiet influence Herr Reichenbach seems to have over Christopher, whose companions and late hours have often caused us anxiety lately. Christopher is not distrustful of him, because he is no priest, and no great favourer of monks and convents; and he is not so much afraid about Christopher as we timid, anxious women were beginning to be. He thinks there is good metal in him; and he says the best ore cannot look like gold until it is fused. It is so difficult for us women, who have to watch from our quiet homes afar, to distinguish the glow of the smelting furnace from the glare of a conflagration.
WITTEMBERG, _September_, 1513.
This morning, Herr Reichenbach, Christopher, and Ulrich von Gersdorf (who is studying here for a time) came in full of excitement, from a discussion they had been hearing between Dr. Luther and some of the doctors and professors of Erfurt.
I do not know that I quite clearly understand what it was about; but they seemed to think it of great importance.
Our house has become rather a gathering place of late; partly, I think, on account of my father"s blindness, which always insures that there will be some one at home.
It seems that Dr. Luther attacks the old methods of teaching in the universities, which makes the older professors look on him as a dangerous innovator, while the young delight in him as a hero fighting their battles. And yet the authorities Dr. Luther wishes to re-instate are older than those he attacks. He demands that nothing shall be received as the standard of theological truth except the Holy Scriptures. I cannot understand why there should be so much conflict about this, because I thought all we believed was founded on the Holy Scriptures. I suppose it is not; but if not, on whose authority? I must ask Gottfried this one day when we are alone.
The discussion to-day was between Dr. Andrew Bodenstein, Archdeacon of Wittemberg, Dr. Luther, and Dr. Jodocus of Eisenach, called Trutvetter, his old teacher. Dr. Carlstadt himself, they said, seemed quite convinced; and Dr. Jodocus is silenced and is going back to Erfurt.
The enthusiasm of the students is great. The great point of Dr. Luther"s attack seems to be Aristotle, who was a heathen Greek. I cannot think why these Church doctors should be so eager to defend him; but Herr Reichenbach says all the teaching of the schools and all the doctrine of indulgences are in some way founded on this Aristotle, and that Dr.
Luther wants to clear away everything which stands as a screen between the students and the Bible.
Ulrich von Gersdorf said that our doctor debates like his uncle, Franz von Sickingen, fights. He stands like a rock on some point he feels firm on; and then, when his opponents are weary of trying to move him, he rushes suddenly down on them, and sweeps them away like a torrent.