There was a little whispering inside, and then came the decisive answer, "Not for a month at least."
We would have lingered to parley further, but the heavy nailed doors were closed against us, we heard the ma.s.sive bolts rattle as they were drawn, and all our a.s.saults with fists or iron staffs on the convent gates, from that moment did not awaken another sound within.
"Dead to the world, indeed!" murmured one at length; "the grave could not be more silent."
Baffled, and hoa.r.s.e with shouting, we wandered back again to Martin Luther"s rooms. The old familiar rooms, where we had so lately spent hours with him in social converse; where I and many of us had spent so many an hour in intimate, affectionate intercourse,--his presence would be there no more; and the unaltered aspect of the mute, inanimate things only made the emptiness and change more painful by the contrast.
And yet, when we began to examine more closely, the aspect of many things was changed. His flute and lute, indeed, lay on the table, just as he had left them on the previous evening. But the books--scholastic, legal, and cla.s.sical--were piled up carefully in one corner, and directed to the booksellers. In looking over the well-known volumes, I only missed two, Virgil and Plautus; I suppose he took these with him.
Whilst we were looking at a parcel neatly rolled up in another place, the old man who kept his rooms in order came in, and said, "That is Master Martin"s master"s robe, his holiday attire, and his master"s ring. They are to be sent to his parents at Mansfeld."
A choking sensation came over me as I thought of the father who had struggled so hard to maintain his son, and had hoped so much from him, receiving that packet. Not from the dead. Worse than from the dead, it seemed to me. Deliberately self-entombed; deliberately with his own hands building up a barrier between him and all who love him best. With the dead, if they are happy, we may hold communion--at least the Creed speaks of the communion of saints; we may pray to them; or, at the worst, we may pray for them. But between the son in the convent and the father at Mansfeld the barrier is not merely one of stone and earth. It is of the impenetrable iron of will and conscience. It would be a _temptation_ now for Martin Luther to pour out his heart in affectionate words to father, mother, or friend.
And yet, if he is right,--if the flesh is only to be subdued, if G.o.d is only to be pleased, if heaven is only to be won in this way,--it is of little moment indeed what the suffering may be to us or any belonging to us in this fleeting life, down which the grim gates of death which close it, ever cast their long shadow.
May not Martin serve his family better in the cloister than at the emperor"s court, for is not the cloister the court of a palace more imperial?--we may say, the very audience-chamber of the King of kings.
Besides, if he had a vocation, what curse might not follow despising it?
Happy for those whose vocation is so clear that they dare not disobey it; or whose hearts are so pure that they would not if they dared!
_July_ 19.
These two days the university has been in a ferment at the disappearance of Martin Luther. Many are indignant with him, and more with the monks, who, they say, have taken advantage of a fervent impulse, and drawn him into their net. Some, however, especially those of the school of Mutia.n.u.s--the Humanists--laugh, and say there are ways through the cloister to the court,--and even to the tiara. But those misunderstand Martin. We who know him are only too sure that he will be a true monk, and that for him there is no gate from the cloister back into the world.
It appears now that he had been meditating this step more than a fortnight.
On the first of this month (July) he was walking on the road between Erfurt and Stotterheim, when a thunder-storm which had been gathering over the Thuringian forest, and weighing with heavy silence on the plague-laden air, suddenly burst over his head. He was alone, and far from shelter. Peal followed peal, succeeded by terrible silences; the forked lightning danced wildly around him, until at length one terrific flash tore up the ground at his feet, and nearly stunned him. He was alone, and far from shelter; he felt his soul equally alone and unsheltered. The thunder seemed to him the angry voice of an irresistible, offended G.o.d. The next flash might wither his body to ashes, and smite his soul into the flames it so terribly recalled; and the next thunder-peal which followed might echo like the trumpet of doom over him lying unconscious, deaf, and mute in death. Unconscious and mute as to his body! but who could imagine to what terrible intensity of conscious, everlasting anguish his soul might have awakened; what wailings might echo around his lost spirit, what cries of unavailing entreaty he might be pouring forth? Unavailing then! not, perhaps wholly unavailing now! He fell on his knees,--he prostrated himself on the earth, and cried in his anguish and terror, "Help, beloved St. Anne, and I will straightway become a monk."
The storm rolled slowly away; but the irrevocable words had been spoken, and the peals of thunder, as they rumbled more and more faintly in the distance, echoed on his heart like the dirge of all his worldly life.
He reached Erfurt in safety, and, distrustful of his own steadfastness, breathed nothing of his purpose except to those who would, he thought, sustain him in it. This was no doubt the cause of his absent and estranged looks, and of his avoiding us during that fortnight.
He confided his intention first to Andrew Staffelstein, the rector of the university, who applauded and encouraged him, and took him at once to the new Franciscan cloister. The monks received him with delight, and urged his immediately joining their order. He told them he must first acquaint his father of his purpose, as an act of confidence only due to a parent who had denied himself so much and toiled so hard to maintain his son liberally at the university. But the rector and the monks rejoined that he must not consult with flesh and blood; he must "forsake father and mother, and steal away to the cross of Christ." "Whoso putteth his hand to the plough and looketh back," said they, "is not worthy of the kingdom of G.o.d." To remain in the world was peril. To return to it was perdition.
A few religious women to whom the rector mentioned Martin"s intentions, confirmed him in them with fervent words of admiration and encouragement.
Did not one of them relent, and take pity on his mother and his father?
And yet, I doubt if Martin"s mother would have interposed one word of remonstrance between him and the cloister. She is a very religious woman. To offer her son, her pride, to G.o.d, would have been offering the dearest part of herself; and women have a strength in self-sacrifice, and a mysterious joy, which I feel no doubt would have carried her through.
With Martin"s father it would no doubt have been different. He has not a good opinion of the monks, and he has a very strong sense of paternal and filial duty. He, the shrewd, hard-working, successful peasant, looks on the monks as a company of drones, who, in imagining they are giving up the delights of the world, are often only giving up its duties. He was content to go through any self-denial and toil that Martin, the pride of the whole family, might have scope to develop his abilities.
But to have the fruit of all his counsel, and care, and work buried in a convent, will be very bitter to him. It was terrible advice for the rector to give his son. And yet, no doubt, G.o.d has the first claim; and to expose Martin to any influence which might have induced him to give up his vocation, would have been perilous indeed. No doubt the conflict in Martin"s heart was severe enough as it was. His nature is so affectionate, his sense of filial duty so strong, and his honour and love for his parents so deep. Since the step is taken, Holy Mary aid him not to draw back!
_December_, 1505.
This morning I saw a sight I never thought to have seen. A monk, in the grey frock and cowl of the Augustinians, was pacing slowly through the streets with a heavy sack on his shoulders. The ground was covered with snow, his feet were bare; but it was no unfrequent sight, and I was idly and half-unconsciously watching him pause at door after door, and humbly receiving any contributions that were offered, stow them away in the convent-sack, when at length he stopped at the door of the house I was in, and then, as his face turned up towards the window where I stood, I caught the eye of Martin Luther!
I hurried to the door with a loaf in my hand, and, before offering it to him, would have embraced him as of old; but he bowed low as he received the bread, until his forehead nearly touched the ground, and, murmuring a Latin "Gratias," would have pa.s.sed on.
"Martin," I said, "do you not know me?"
"I am on the service of the convent," he said. "It is against the rules to converse or to linger."
It was hard to let him go without another word.
"G.o.d and the saints help thee, Brother Martin!" I said.
He half turned, crossed himself, bowed low once more, as a maid-servant threw him some broken meat, said meekly, "G.o.d be praised for every gift he bestoweth," and went on his toilsome quest for alms with stooping form and downcast eyes. But how changed his face was! The flush of youth and health quite faded from the thin, hollow cheeks; the fire of wit and fancy all dimmed in the red, sunken eyes! Fire there is indeed in them still, but it seemed to me of the kind that consumes--not that warms and cheers.
They are surely harsh to him at the convent. To send him who was the pride and ornament of the university not six months ago, begging from door to door, at the houses of friends and pupils, with whom he may not even exchange a greeting! Is there no pleasure to the obscure and ignorant monks in thus humbling one who was so lately so far above them?
The hands which wield such rods need to be guided by hearts that are very n.o.ble or very tender. Nevertheless, I have no doubt that Brother Martin inflicts severer discipline on himself than any that can be laid on him from without. It is no external conflict that has thus worn and bowed him down in less than half a year.
I fear he will impose some severe mortification or himself for having spoken those few words to which I tempted him.
But if it is his vocation, and if it is for heaven, and if he is thereby earning merits to bestow on others, any conflict could no doubt be endured!
_July_, 1506.
Brother Martin"s novitiate has expired, and he has taken the name of Augustine, but we shall scarcely learn to call him by it. Several of us were present a few days since at his taking the final vows in the Augustinian Church. Once more we heard the clear, pleasant voice which most of us had heard, in song and animated conversation, on that farewell evening. It sounded weak and thin, no doubt with fasting. The garb of the novice was laid aside, the monk"s frock was put on, and kneeling below the altar steps, with the prior"s hands on his bowed head, he took the vow in Latin:--
"I, Brother Martin, do make profession and promise obedience unto Almighty G.o.d, unto Mary, ever virgin, and unto thee, my brother, prior of this cloister, in the name and in the stead of the general prior of the order of the Eremites of St. Augustine, the bishop and his regular successors, to live in poverty and chast.i.ty after the rule of the said St. Augustine until death."
Then the burning taper, symbol of the lighted and ever-vigilant heart, was placed in his hand. The prior murmured a prayer over him, and instantly from the whole of the monks burst the hymn, "Veni Sancte Spiritus."
He knelt while they were singing; and then the monks led him up the steps into the choir, and welcomed him with the kiss of brotherhood.
Within the screen, within the choir, among the holy brotherhood inside, who minister before the altar! And we, his old friends, left outside in the nave, separated from him for ever by the screen of that irrevocable vow!
For ever! Is it for ever? Will there indeed be such a veil, an impenetrable barrier, between us and him at the judgment-day? And we outside? A barrier impa.s.sable for ever then, but not now, not yet.
_January_, 1507.
I have just returned from another Christmas at home. Things look a little brighter there. This last year, since I took my master"s degree, I have been able to help them a little more effectually with the money I receive from my pupils. It was a delight to take our dear, self-denying, loving Else a new dress for holidays, although she protested her old crimson petticoat and black jacket were as good as ever. The child Eva has still that deep, calm, earnest look in her eyes, as if she saw into the world of things unseen and eternal, and saw there what filled her heart with joy. I suppose it is that angelic depth of her eyes, in contrast with the guileless, rosy smile of the child-like lips, which gives the strange charm to her face, and makes one think of the pictures of the child-angels.
She can read the Church Latin now easily, and delights especially in the old hymns. When she repeats them in that soft, reverent, childish voice, they seem to me deeper and more sacred than when sung by the fullest choir. Her great favourite is St. Bernard"s "Jesu Dulcis Memoria," and his "Salve Caput Cruentatum;" but some verses of the "Dies Irae" also are very often on her lips. I used to hear her warbling softly about the house, or at her work, with a voice like a happy dove hidden in the depths of some quiet wood,--
"Querens me sedisti la.s.sus,"
Jesu mi dulcissime, Domine coelorum, Conditor omnipotens, Rex universorum; Quis jam actus sufficit mirari gestorum, Quae te ferie compulit salus miserorum.
Te de coelo caritas traxit animarum, Pro quibus palatium deserens praeclarum; Miseram ingrediens vallum lacrymarum, Opus durum suscipis, et iter amarum.[3]
[Footnote 3:
"Jesu, Sovereign Lord of heaven, sweetest Friend to me.
King of all the universe, all was made by thee; Who can know or comprehend the wonders thou has wrought, Since the saving of the lost thee so low hath brought?
Thee the love of souls drew down from beyond the sky,-- Drew thee from thy glorious home, thy palace bright and high!